((I haven't updated in a long long time. Oops. ; Sorry if anyone was looking forward to something. But... Here it is now, hm? Enjoy.))

After the news, I didn't mourn. It wasn't that I was heartless- at least, not yet- but it was to be expected. After Erica wrote a few more things down, she promised to return the next morning and left, curtly bowing out the door. She left me in a state of sullen despondency, and suddenly, I felt very old. I often received compliments about being wise for my age, despite my small stature and girlish looks. Up until that point, I had always assumed it was just adults being nice. Now, I realized, such depths of maturity were more of a burden than a gift.

I didn't sleep that night. My eyes remained dry, but that not mean I felt no sorrow. Actually, I had stayed up many nights weeping before that one, because of my fear for him. Why hadn't he just admitted before that something was wrong? I had to worry about myself, too. I still had my heart set on taking up his work, but had no hope if I was incapable of taking up the ceremonial axe. I was a little stronger than most girls at my age, but I was still a very weak being.

In the days that followed, I persisted in my attempt to wield the great axe. In three days time, I succeeded in being able to drag it behind me, though still with great difficulty. It was still a long way off from my goal. Every morning, Erica would arrive and take a daily diagnostic before administering some medicine she had helped to create back in Ozette. Father insisted on paying her large sums of gald, but she refused, insisting that her wages from the doctor and the training experience were more than enough. Other than that, he didn't try to speak much, except to shower us with affection or apologies. We comforted him in return. Every now and then he would rise from bed and walk around outdoors. He didn't seem much sicker than he did a few weeks ago, but he was still tired all the time. In between his random walks, he mostly just slept.

Finally, on the fourth day after the incident, Erica arrived accompanied by the local doctor. He was a short, stern man with a rigid countenance that never allowed the smiling reassurance his nurse often showed. His only greeting was a curt nod, and then he went straight to work- and truthfully, that was something I was grateful for. The rest of us were ushered outside with Doctor Baym requesting complete concentration. To keep our minds off the distressing situation at hand, you played pretend outside by yourself while I continued to fiddle with the axe. Erica watched us intently from a short distance, waiting to scurry into the house should her aid be called upon.

After a short time, she approached me in her normal, casually graceful way. I had been trying to raise the tool parallel to the ground and walk with it, so far making no successful attempt. I dropped it one last time and stomped my foot with an angry cry, furious with myself.

"Presea," the woman addressed me placidly.

I sighed and dropped my shoulders, calming myself. "Yes?"

She knelt over the axe, straightening her skirt beneath her before setting her hands on her knees. Her eyes ran thoughtfully along the wooden handle. "What're you doing with this weapon?"

"It isn't a weapon," I replied defensively. "It's a tool," Daddy's words echoed in my mouth, offering the same explanation he always gave. "A tool of great ceremony."

Erica looked into my eyes, examining them with her own wise gaze. "I see…" she mused, and I knew that she did. She was a very intelligent woman.

"Tell me, Presea, why do you want to wield it so badly? I've seen you every day, sometimes for hours at once, trying to raise it."

She already knew the answer to that.

"He's got no right."

"…What was that?" she asked, lifting an eyebrow at me.

"If Derryl asks again," was my flat response, "tell him he's got no right."

The nurse rose and stepped over the axe, placing a hand on my shoulder. "No, this is not about Derryl. You are too young for such a responsibility. I don't want to see you hurt. It's very noble of you to try, but-"

"But I have to!" I cried, shrugging away her touch while taking a step back.

"Dear, be sensible-"

"I am going to use that axe!" I flung out a hand and pointed at the thing. "Daddy can't, Alicia can't- I must!"

The woman crouched and clasped my shoulders with either hand, looking at me with such intense and caring eyes that implored sensibility I could not fathom. I could only flinch and look away.

"Presea- Presea, Look at me!"

Lips trembling as I neared the point of hysteria, I did so.

"Listen. As you are now, you cannot use that axe. It's dangerous, and the marshes are dangerous- you could get yourself killed! Then who would carry on your family's right? What would become of Alicia?"

I lowered my eyes shamefully, finding truth in her worlds.

Erica released me and stood. There was a long pause between us. I noticed you had stopped to watch us, ever curious.

"…Why do you care so much about me?" I asked, almost resentful of the fact that she had made me feel so reasonably guilty.

"I care for everyone," she replied softly, turning to wave and smiled at you. You laughed and waved back, and then continued in your play. "I want to be a doctor, remember?" The woman smoothed back her hair, adjusting her cap and skirt. That was the first and only time I ever saw her fall out of her calm composition. She was normally very collected, very proper.

By this time, the doctor had opened the door to our home and cleared his throat to acquire everyone's attention. We all stopped and turned to hear his diagnosis. What followed was nothing more than a blur to me. Doctor Baym muttered something to Erica, who declared that she should be the one to tell us because we had grown friendly over the past few days. She gathered us beside her, knelt down, and began to speak.

My heart froze.

I might as well have been deaf. It was obvious what she was going to say, yet I couldn't bear to listen. I think she knew everything the day she arrived, but didn't want to say anything without the doctor's opinion. In this instant, I was heartbroken. It was a silly thing, but I felt like they had betrayed me simply to hurt me. Daddy, Erica, and Baym, all involved in some malicious conspiratorial plot simply intended to crush a pair of little girls. Of course, that was all childish delirium.

The weeks to come were intensely painful, but sufferable. Daddy continued to slowly get worse, infected by some virus that was previously unknown to me. It seemed as though he had contracted it in the marsh, which because of its name, made perfect sense.

My twelfth birthday came. I suppose the villagers felt sorry for me, because a small group of them came over and cooked us a nice dinner. I got a new dress that a few of them had hand stitched, the purple one that I wear now. I had been enthralled by it at the time, as I have never had a hand for sewing. You, though, were more skilled than I, and using whatever money you had saved up for materials presented me with a fanciful hair ribbon, which, I don't always wear, but still keep with me today. I received one last gift before that day ended, from the nurse who had not failed a day to appear at our house shortly after the sun began to rise on the horizon. She had, in that difficult time, become very close to us, not a mother and not quite a sister, rather, sort of guardian- angelic, almost. In any case, she gave me a leather belt attached to a hip pack that fitted snugly around my waist. The group prodded me to try everything on, and newly clothed and accessorized, I managed to enjoy the day. After all, what child does not seek comfort in her own birthday?

A few more days rolled by, uneventful, until Erica came one morning, excited about something. That day she wore light brown slacks with a matching overcoat covering her blouse. She had stopped wearing her uniform weeks ago, figuring it was unnecessary after coming to friendly terms.

"Presea!" she burst out anxiously, catching me by the shoulders before she even went to her patient.

Her rushed and excited tone betrayed her normally calm state, surprising me. The most I could do was return a meek "Hi- what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. But I think we may have a way to help you take your father's place!"

My eyes lit up like Luna herself. "I… H-how?"

The nurse led me over to the porch step, sitting before beginning to explain her solution. "My brother- well, half-brother, really- is a research scientist who works in Sybak," she began, attempting to control herself as she spoke. "We like to keep in touch, but the journey is a bit difficult, so we communicate with each other through mail. I've been telling him about you and your sister, and he's been telling me about what he's been working on lately. Right now, his team is doing some work for the church. It's very secretive, so he couldn't reveal too much. He did tell me, though, that if your body complies with their requirements, he might be able to give you something that will make you stronger. You are specially bred- Do you know what that means, Presea?"

I nodded. "Daddy's family is important. Only we have the right to harvest the Sacred Wood."

Erica frowned at that. "I've told you, that's just a silly church tradition. Anyone can timber that wood."

Normally, I would have snapped at someone for saying that, but because she was my friend and trying to help, I let Erica continue.

"Anyway, it's that tradition that makes it very likely your body will be acceptable. Your lineage seems appropriate." She paused her speech, letting that sink in for a moment. "The only catch would be…" Here, she hesitated, unsure of how to continue. "Well, to put it bluntly, you'd be the subject of a science experiment."

For a few minutes, I sat silently and thought. Sybak was far away, beyond the deadly Gaoracchia forest. But the woods, the experiments, and the time away from home were probably the only way. If I did not begin delivering wood soon, I was bound to discover the consequences.

I looked Erica straight in the eyes, declaring, "I'll do it. I'll go."

She bowed her head solemnly, her previous mood having faded. "I'm glad I could be of some help, but know this, Presea. If it were up to me, I'd be sending you to Sybak for an education. You're so intelligent, and I'd rather see that put to good use for people. I'm offering this to you, not because I think it's the right choice, but because I know it is what you want."

I nodded slowly, then, realizing the gratitude my family owed her, I turned to the woman and threw my arms about her shoulders.

She hugged back, speaking before I had the chance. "Grow strong," she said, her voice sounding as if she were about to cry. "Grow strong so you can do this. And don't you dare get yourself hurt."

I squeezed her in reply, thanking her several times over.

"Listen," the nurse said, interrupting my stream of gratefulness. "I won't let you leave Alicia here. I simply won't."

"…Maybe someone in Ozette-"

She shook her head. "I knew you would say yes, so I already made arrangements for her. Should she accept it, she will leave as a maid in service of a noble family."

"What?" I gasped piteously, releasing her and standing over her, "Alicia- No, she can't be by herself!"

She gave me a look so morose it was obvious she hated what was happening. "No, she can't. That's why she's leaving. I won't have her spending all her time waiting for you to return from Sybak, and then again after each trek from the marsh."

Betrayal by fate… Erica did have a hand in this, but she was right. I would be forced to choose between my family's dignity and my sister's affection. I decided, rather foolishly, that the latter would be selfish. I sank back into a sitting position, my heart dropping along with me. "She'll… Be taken care of?"

"Of course, very well. I made sure of it."

"So if Alicia agrees to everything…"

"Then it's all set. Your father will stay at the doctor's in Ozette. Estimating on his condition, he should still be alive when you return… I'm afraid Alicia may have to say goodbye one last time."

For the rest of that day, I kept my distance. I learned from Erica that you agreed to go- I later felt incredibly guilty, and I still do. You didn't want to leave, but you did anyway, for me. You left mine and father's side for some insane whim to fulfill an unimportant position. What sort of sick pride rendered me so blind? Thank you for not weighing this all on me, Alicia. I could say it a thousand times over, but a simple phrase is not nearly enough.

I'm sorry.