—extensive life-threatening injuries—
oh...
—multiple organ failure—
...this sucks.
—numerous broken bones—
Hide felt himself drifting back to sleep. He tried to keep his eyes open.
—lucky to be alive—
He stared at the fluorescent lights above him until his eyes blurred.
—the beams miraculously did minimal damage to his head and neck, that's why—
Where was...
—we have to transplant her organs while we still can—
...Rize?
—we can't! his blood type isn't a match! there must be another way—
His eyes slipped closed.
—better on immunosuppressants for the rest of his life than dead—
The last thing he heard was,
—I'll take full responsibility.
His eyes opened and he heard voices, staticky and too loud.
He pushed himself up slowly, aching all over, and felt something weighing down his arm. He looked at the chair pulled up to his bed, and then at Kaneki, wrapped around his arm like it was pillow.
Kaneki's shoulder was heavily bandaged beneath his hospital gown.
It meant that he was—
He gently pulled his arm from Kaneki's grip and slipped out of bed. He padded to the bathroom.
He used to hate the flimsy feeling of hospital gowns, but he'd hated the feeling of a lot of things. He didn't notice the needle slip free of his skin and steadily drip liquid onto the bed as he held onto the wall and stumbled into the sink.
He gripped the sides and looked at himself in the mirror.
—a ghoul.
He leaned close to his reflection, but his—Hide's eyes were still the color of olives. He caught a spot of red on his elbow in the reflection and took a step back, raising his arm to look at the puncture wound.
He wasn't...?
He touched the blood and sniffed it, but it just smelled vaguely metallic. He was still human?
How would Dr. Kano ever have gotten away with it if it didn't take time for his body to acclimate? Wait until the point when he was disgusted by the food given to him and then discharge him fast.
He trembled.
—we felt she died instantly at the scene—
He could hear the voices through the wall, clearer than before. A TV...?
—I felt it was my duty as a doctor to save the life in front of me—
Why here? Why Tokyo Ghoul?
—that's why I made the decision—
Better Hide than a background character being eaten alive in a back alley, right? His back hit the wall and he slid down, ducking his head between his knees as he tried to breathe.
How long did he have until he stopped being human?
Tatami, Ayato, Touka, Eto, Arima—
Arima, Arima, Arima.
What had he done? What had Hideyoshi Nagachika made him do?
He was lightheaded. He couldn't breathe. He could still fix this.
He changed his mind. Let someone else be the protagonist of this tragedy. He'd saved Kaneki, so Hide would leave him alone.
He grabbed the sink and pulled himself up. He was still human. Human enough that if he broke the mirror and used the shards to gouge out his insides it'd still work.
How many of her organs had been used to replace his?
Drool dribbled down his chin. His hand shook as he curled his fingers into a fist.
Who cared? He was in a hospital. They'd fix him. Or transfer him, or, or—
̶"̶O̶r̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶,̶"̶ Hide said behind him. ̶"̶Y̶o̶u̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶a̶l̶m̶ ̶d̶o̶w̶n̶,̶ ̶d̶u̶d̶e̶.̶ ̶Y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶y̶p̶e̶r̶v̶e̶n̶t̶i̶l̶a̶t̶i̶n̶g̶.̶"̶
He stumbled into the wall. Was the room spinning or was his neck breaking again, heavy and weighed down by tons and tons of steel?
pressure on his back and legs that made him want to cry, panic fluttering uselessly in his chest as he was soaked in his own blood, fighting to move as he lost consciousness...
He still could—the glass—
He reared his arm back and felt hands grab his elbow and wrist, pulling his arm down, saying his name as he collapsed.
Hide rapped his knuckles against the wall next to the bathroom. "Hey, two-forty-five, your TV's too loud again," he called. "I can't hear myself think."
They never answered, but he stopped hearing the TV.
"Some people," he said, shaking his head.
"You didn't have to do that," Kaneki said meekly, hiding behind the pages of his book. It was by Kafka or Kafta or something German. "I could've read a little louder."
"That's the opposite of solving the problem," Hide said back, plopping down in bed. "This is why everyone walks all over you, Kaneki."
Kaneki didn't respond. He peeked up at him over the top with kicked puppy eyes. It was his I'm thinking about the accident again look.
Accident. Right.
They didn't talk about what happened in the bathroom a week ago.
Hide stretched his legs and pretended not to see it. "Weren't you supposed to be discharged ages ago? No way you haven't healed enough by now. Wasn't it just a minor surgery?"
Kaneki looked back down at the pages.
"Mr. Kaneki and I struck a little deal, you see," Dr. Kano answered, and both he and Kaneki looked towards the doorway. Dr. Kano slid the door shut as he came into the room. "It's something I've been meaning to speak to you about as well, Mr. Nagachika. I'm sure you've heard some of the details about your situation by now. I wanted to keep you in the dark until you recovered more, but it turned out to be impossible in a hospital as big as this one."
If he wanted to eat anyone first, it was him.
̶"̶H̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶e̶r̶i̶m̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶h̶u̶m̶a̶n̶s̶,̶"̶ Nagachika sat on the windowsill. ̶"̶B̶u̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶.̶ ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶C̶C̶G̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶i̶o̶r̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶r̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶ ̶q̶u̶i̶n̶q̶u̶e̶.̶"̶
"You and Mr. Kaneki both know you were attacked by a ghoul, and no one is denying that. That information, however, has been kept from the general public as to keep the peace," Dr. Kano explained. "Of course, a simple ghoul attack is nothing the public would get riled up over. But the particular ghoul that attacked you was called a Binge Eater. Her body count in the last six months alone is estimated to be over fifty. I'm sure a bright young man like you can figure out why revealing the existence of Binge Eaters would be an unfavorable choice, especially with your newfound knowledge of how well ghouls can mimic human behavior."
Hide glanced at Kaneki, and Kaneki looked back at him. He didn't look surprised by any of this.
"In exchange for Mr. Kaneki's silence about the truth of the matter I've withheld signing off on his discharge paperwork. I seem to have misplaced his file. How clumsy of me," Dr. Kano said. "If anyone were to ask, you were drawn to the site by cries of help from Ms. Kamishiro, and in attempting to assist her, you were caught up in the same equipment failure that trapped her there. It may be upsetting to paint Ms. Kamishiro in that light, but it's for the best."
Kaneki knew about the transplant, didn't he? So why was Dr. Kano talking to them like they were both idiots—
Hide locked eyes with Dr. Kano. His smile was that of a friendly old man. But his eyes were slanted and shrewd, saying, who would believe you if you told them that your organs came from a ghoul?
Hide didn't blink.
who would take your word over mine?
Dr. Kano eye-smiled and it felt like he was laughing at him.
and even if someone believed you, what do you think would happen to you?
But Kaneki—
—had taken Dr. Kano at his word. Ken Kaneki had believed he'd made an honest mistake. If Dr. Kano told him his organs came from a random donor, he'd believe it. Why doubt him?
go ahead and tell him the truth. see what happens to him.
Who really was two-forty-five? Why let him hear the press conference?
̶"̶O̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶,̶"̶ Nagachika said, snapping his fingers. ̶"̶H̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶o̶k̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶u̶p̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶t̶y̶ ̶s̶h̶a̶r̶p̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶.̶ ̶K̶a̶n̶e̶k̶i̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶f̶e̶c̶t̶ ̶s̶u̶b̶j̶e̶c̶t̶.̶ ̶C̶o̶m̶p̶l̶i̶a̶n̶t̶,̶ ̶a̶ ̶p̶u̶s̶h̶o̶v̶e̶r̶,̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶q̶u̶e̶s̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶n̶k̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶ ̶s̶i̶n̶i̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶m̶o̶t̶i̶v̶e̶s̶—̶"̶ he waggled his fingers. ̶"̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶i̶d̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶p̶a̶t̶i̶e̶n̶t̶.̶ ̶B̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶f̶e̶r̶e̶d̶.̶ ̶A̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶'̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶R̶i̶z̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶?̶ ̶K̶a̶n̶e̶k̶i̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶j̶u̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶e̶n̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶i̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶n̶e̶s̶s̶e̶s̶.̶ ̶I̶n̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶d̶s̶,̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶m̶e̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶u̶p̶.̶"̶
He still wished Nagachika dead but listening to his explanation unwillingly made him less tense.
̶"̶K̶a̶n̶e̶k̶i̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶o̶m̶e̶s̶ ̶d̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶l̶a̶t̶e̶r̶.̶ ̶S̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶s̶o̶n̶a̶l̶i̶t̶y̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶d̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶n̶o̶w̶,̶"̶ Nagachika added. ̶"̶H̶e̶ ̶g̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶i̶e̶c̶e̶s̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶I̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶a̶c̶c̶e̶p̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶l̶a̶n̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶w̶r̶o̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶n̶e̶a̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶e̶a̶r̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶.̶"̶
"Mr. Nagachika?" Dr. Kano asked, prompting, waiting for his response.
̶"̶I̶f̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶s̶p̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶g̶ ̶d̶e̶e̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶.̶"̶
Kaneki was studying him too.
"I understand," Hide said, laying back. "I'll stick to the story."
"Very good," Dr. Kano said. "As long as you cooperate, Mr. Kaneki can stay for as long as he wishes."
His eyes narrowed a little at the ceiling.
"I hear they're serving fish today. Lucky you. Staff aren't fed nearly as well as patients," Dr. Kano opened the door and walked out.
No doubt he'd keep Kaneki's file on hand for his cooperation. Man, why was this so complicated already?
Kaneki closed his book and put it down on the table. He leaned back in the chair. "I've been trying to come up with a way to thank you for—for what you did."
Hide held his hands behind his head. "Don't sweat it, Kaneki—"
"I do sweat it," he said quickly. His shoulders bunched and his fingers dug into his gown. "You tried to tell me and I didn't listen and—I was so stupid. You almost died. You did die. They brought you back twice before they got you into the operating room."
Hide's eyes widened. Tears dripped onto Kaneki's gown.
"My own stupidity almost cost you your life!" he shouted. "I'm such a stupid burden on everyone I meet—"
Hide flicked his forehead. "Hey," he said as Kaneki drew back. "I didn't do what I did so you'd throw yourself a pity party. I did it because it was such a dumb, Kaneki way to die. You're not some nameless victim in a mystery novel. You're Kaneki, my best friend, and I wanted you to live. That's all there is to it."
̶"̶S̶o̶ ̶e̶m̶b̶a̶r̶r̶a̶s̶s̶i̶n̶g̶!"̶ Nagachika said, hunching as he scratched his cheek. ̶"̶D̶o̶ ̶I̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶?̶"̶
Kaneki sniffed and wiped his eyes with his gown. "Thank you, Hide. Thank you—"
Hide took his book and dropped it on his head. "What did I say?"
"What—that wasn't an apology!"
"You didn't finish reading me that story about the bug. You wanted to force me to read more, right?"
"Metamorphosis. And yes. How can you study foreign languages but choose to be illiterate to their literature?"
Hide dropped the book in his lap. "Yeah, whatever."
The nurse shook blue and pink pills out of a cup onto his foldable table.
Her nametag read Aimi.
"Dr. Kano has upped the dosage on your anti-rejection medication. Those are the pink ones," she said, moving the two to the side. "You need to take two doses every four hours, including at night. I hear you've been having back pain and not urinating as much as you used to?"
"Yeah." Hide grabbed the pills, took the cup of water next to them, and shoved them in his mouth.
His tongue refused to move and push them down his throat until he tilted his head back and downed the entire cup to force himself to swallow. They weren't anti-rejection pills.
He hadn't figured out if the blue ones were the blood pills, or the pink ones. The other was RC suppressants.
Because he'd messed everything up, as Nagachika said.
His blood type was AB. Rize's was the complete opposite at O.
If he didn't take suppressants until he'd fully turned ghoul his body would eat itself. Or he'd end up like Shirazu's sister, with his kagune growing from his body independently from him.
"Dr. Kano and I are keeping a close eye on you, so you don't have to worry. We'll take good care of you," she said, taking the cup from him to refill it. "These blue ones are a stronger dose of the antacids you've already been taking. Take three every twelve hours."
She watched him drink and struggle swallowing them.
"Will Dr. Kano lose his license?" he asked, laying back on the pillows.
Her smile turned uncertain. "Will he...?"
"Sorry," he said, looking at the ceiling. "I just heard about his interview with the press on TV. His name is on the hospital. A lot of things would have to change if he lost it."
"You've been watching TV?"
He hooked a thumb at the wall. "Through two-forty-five. They keep their TV on super loud. It keeps me up at night. I didn't want to get them in trouble by filing a complaint."
Her eyebrows rose and she looked at the wall. "Are you sure?"
He dropped his hand. "Yeah."
She shot him a troubled look. "Mr. Nagachika, that room is empty. This is the intensive care floor. Your condition hasn't stabilized yet, so that's why you haven't been moved, but patients who come through here usually spend very short amounts of time here."
He glanced at the wall. "Huh. That's weird."
"It must be some kind of mistake. One of the staff taking a break in that room, perhaps? I'll speak to Dr. Kano about it and see if he can get to the bottom of it."
"Oh, well, thanks." He made himself smile as she left the room. "I really appreciate it."
Hide pinched a pickle between his chopsticks and dropped it in his mouth.
Nagachika made gagging sounds at him.
He didn't know what was so wrong with pickles.
He opened Kaneki's text, "They told me to come back for more notes today and tomorrow. They've been really accommodating. Not sure what I would've done if the foreign language department wasn't so—"
Hide choked. His phone tumbled from his hand as he—
rotten, sour, like it had been seasoned with shit.
—threw himself over the side of the bed and vomited.
"Not to your liking?" Dr. Kano asked.
Hide stared down at his own bile, then up at Dr. Kano.
He wiped his mouth as Dr. Kano closed the door, giving him that kindly old man smile.
"I think it's about time to discharge you, don't you think, Mr. Nagachika?"
̶"̶H̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶t̶e̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶i̶d̶e̶ ̶i̶t̶.̶"̶ Nagachika said, chin on his hand as he leaned on the bed.
Hide looked at his half-eaten vegetables, the untouched sausage, and felt horror creep up his spine.
̶"̶K̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶c̶o̶o̶l̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶.̶"̶
He glanced at Dr. Kano. "Can I ask you a few questions?"
"No," Dr. Kano said happily.
"Why—"
"You concerned me, Mr. Nagachika. I was afraid my timetable would be incorrect. I'm glad to see that's not the case," Dr. Kano said, turning to leave. "Make sure you pick up your prescription and have it filled on time. Your condition is very delicate."
He slid the door shut.
Hide stared at the bed, then he picked up the food tray and threw it as hard as he could. He was breathing hard as his plastic cup burst water against the wall and the sausage splattered the floor.