As promised here is a scene we have been waiting for: the big battle. Hope
you guys will like it, it will be very difficult for me to make up. I never
write anything down on paper, I just make things up as I write, and that
can be a very painful process!! Also I noticed I almost have 400 reviews.
If I reach the 400 next chapter there are cookies for everyone!!!! Lastly I
want to thank everybody for telling me last chapter wasn't crap, I was a
little nervous about that one. So I'll admit it, I have low self-esteem,
but I'm working on it!!!
Passion Lover: Mucho action AND drama as you requested, just read to enjoy!
Sailorverystupid: Hey stranger, wow thanks for reviewing again. I'm happy you liked the chapters so far. I am gonna update tomorrow again if all goes well so I hope that's soon enough for you.
LanierShazar: Hope you didn't have to wait too long for this chapter, also hope it'll live up to your expectations.
Lady of Legolas: Yep, her life used to be sad. Lucky her it's so much better now. And I will tell you right now, HALDIR WON'T DIE!!! I hate it that he died in TTT so I won't do that to one of my fav characters.
Musicgrl: So happy you liked, this chapter will have no pranks though.
The Lady Sorcha of Sevenwaters: I wasn't worried, really I wasn't. Ah well just a little. It's not everyday people faint while reading my fic. Hope this chapter will be good as well.
Shinigami29: Ok Audrey, calm down. Yes her dad is evil, but he's a world away. So breathe ok! ;)
Corinna: No more pranks, sorry but battle is no time for pranks. You really think this is the best story you read? Wow I'm so honored. Question, did you ever read Irulan and Irulan II by Darma Druid? If not do so, she really is one of the best writers. I would be happy with just a quarter of her talent.
Arwen-evenstar: No way! We just finished studying Beowulf as well at school. This is getting weird!
Aurumlupi: Yep battle now, hope you'll like!
Blahblah: I hope you finish RotK soon, it ends so sadly!
MaverickGirl: Glad you liked the little joke. Was this update soon enough?
Dancingfae: Yep, mighty Haldir was beaten by a girl. He lost his temper, fun huh? Oh Rita has flashbacks and dreams in certain situations. She lived in hell for almost 18 years so she's bound to be scarred (emotionally) and so sometimes she has flashbacks or dreams. Get it? And for Rita it wouldn't be easy to let everything out, or maybe it would. She's always been a bit of a loner so opening up will take more time, a lot more time. But you just gave me a good idea, before battle we will have a little Rita insight.
Meggers: Stupid teachers! Hey, didn't get the chapter, you still working on it? Did you post the chapter I read for you already? Am eagerly awaiting news.
DISCLAIMER: Don't wanna, it should be obvious by now!!!!!!!!!!
*Weird* Rita thought *When did time to move on so slowly, it feels I've been sitting here for days already yet the sun is still far from rising*
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Elladan intently studying her, watching her closely with a worried look in his eyes.
She wanted to call out to him, tell him she was alright but she knew she was far from ok. The nightmare had unlocked some of the worst memories and she was fighting a battle on the inside to control herself.
*Maybe I should take some lessons from Haldir, if anything else he's great at controlling his emotions. I can't use this right now, I need to be focussed for tomorrow*
Now that was a concept. Tomorrow they would engage in an almost hopeless battle, tomorrow they would be fighting for their lives, tomorrow many men would die.
Rita was doing something she hadn't done in a while, she was questioning her abilities. No matter what Haldir said earlier, she still felt insecure about the entire second-in-command thing. It was just a huge responsibility.
Sure, she could handle a sword and kill any orc near her, but commanding a company could she really do that?
Her mind was going in circles. She could still hear her father yelling at her how useless she was and that she was a no good tramp. Yet the verbal abuse was nothing compared to the physical. As the years went by the abuse grew more intense, more painful. Broken or bruised ribs were not uncommon and bruises were normal to her.
Slowly she felt herself go back to that period, the time before she landed in Middle Earth. Never before had she noticed the change in herself since she landed here, but now she knew.
Somehow her protective walls had crumbled and she had let people in her heart. But at what price? What if someone close to her would die? With her walls almost disappeared, would she be able to handle the loss of another friend, another brother or, she almost did not dare to think about it, what if she lost the man she loved?
It would destroy her, of that she was sure, if Elladan were to die in this battle. She had meant what she had said so many nights before in Rivendell. Elladan was the reason she was living, literally, and not just because of the orcs.
She hadn't told it to anyone, not even Boromir or Elladan, especially not Elladan. Rita suspected only Galadriel knew about this secret since she was a mindreader. Rita never told anyone about her plan, about what she was going to do after she left the cemetery that night. Well, she would have done so if she hadn't fallen into Middle Earth.
The plan was simple actually, just walk to the lake and taking a swim. An eternal swim, so she would be with her little sister again.
Now Rita was ashamed of herself for that. Suicide wasn't the answer, but she had been so desperate at that time.
When she compared the her from then with the her from now, she could clearly see the changes inside herself. And that scared her more than any evil in Mordor.
*What will I do* she pondered.
She blinked when she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Haldir standing over her. She blinked again when she saw that the first rays of light were starting to show, though they weren't very bright, it lit the way before them.
"So I'm forgiven?" she asked the elf beside her.
Haldir rolled his eyes at her, making her smile a little. "We need you rested in battle, now walking wouldn't be the way for that."
Rita started to gather the few possessions she had with her and looked at her friends around her, most were still asleep.
"Hey Haldir, is it ok if I join you later? I have to do some stuff."
He gave her a look and nodded before he walked off to the other elves again. Rita stared after him for a few seconds before Elladan broke the silence that had hung between them the entire night.
"Are you alright Rita, really alright. I noticed you didn't rest at all, what was going through that head of yours melamin, you looked so sad."
"Nothing, everything. Just thinking, that's all. But I did notice you didn't rest either but I suppose you can take it." She tried to lighten the mood with a small joke and Elladan took this as a sign she really didn't want to talk about it and smiled at her, letting the subject slide, for now.
He pulled her in an embrace, carefully stepping over the sleeping form of Pippin. With a sigh Rita buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent the best she could, mentally burning it in her memory.
After a few minutes they broke apart and started to wake the others. Legolas, Elrohir, Gandalf and Aragorn were up in a flash, it were Pippin and Gimli who were the ones hard to wake.
Leaving Gimli to Legolas, Rita started to shake Pippin. "Come on Pip, wake up, we're leaving now." This didn't even faze the hobbit and Rita suddenly had a wicked smile on her face. She remembered something Pippin had told her once.
"PEREGRIN TOOK, IF YOU DO NOT GET UP THIS INSTANT I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EVER AGAIN!!!"
At this the poor hobbit jumped up. "I'm up mum, really I'm up." Rita started to giggle and Pippin suddenly realized he wasn't at home but on the way to Mordor.
"Rita, you. . . " he sputtered "I regret telling you about all the times mum woke me up like that. Really couldn't you have woken me in a different way."
"Nope, you were fast asleep. Now get ready, we're leaving soon."
As Pippin started to scramble up Rita saw Gimli had woken as well. She looked at her friends, knowing this could be the last time they saw each other. She also knew her place in battle was no longer beside the fellowship but beside the Lothlorien elves.
Gandalf was the first one she hugged. "Be careful you old wizard, loosing you once was bad enough ok?"
"There, there. I will be quite alright dear."
Next up was Gimli who scowled at her. "I am still not happy about you fighting with those elves instead of us lass, but I suppose they will take care of you. If not I will. . . " He didn't finish the threat since Rita knelt down to hug him, silencing him as he hugged her back.
"Thanks Gimli" she whispered when she turned to Pippin, remaining on her knees. "Now you take care you hear me Pip? No time for silly pranks or stupid acts, I promised Merry I'd look out for you so don't make me break that promise."
He quickly nodded and hugged her back as hard as he could. Legolas was next and they exchanged no words. Neither could think of anything to say so they just hugged and looked each other in the eyes, and that was enough.
Elrohir gave her a friendly hug as well, telling her to be careful. Aragorn was next and he pulled her in a big bear-hug, which she returned as strongly as he gave her.
When he let her go he gave her a stern look. "Now Rita, I know this will be hard for you but please, do not take any unnecessary risks. And for the Valar's sake, come back unharmed."
"Yes dad." Rita said teasingly and she winked at him before she turned to the last person she had to say goodbye to: Elladan.
She didn't notice as the others moved away, giving the two some privacy. She looked deep in his eyes and suddenly threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight.
"Live" is all she said, unable to say anything because the lump in her throat prevented her to do so. Next thing she knew Elladan had pushed his lips against hers and was swept away by the emotion of the kiss.
There was desperation and passion but also love, lots of love. Eventually the kiss broke and Elladan held her close.
"Stay safe melamin, come back to me." He whispered this softly in her ear and Rita just nodded. When he released her from his embrace she bent down to grab her gauntlets and helm, which she had taken off before sleeping, and put them on.
As she did this, she could feel a familiar feeling come over her. A feeling of readiness. She was ready for whatever that was going to be thrown at her, and she would do what she have to do.
After a final glance at her friends and lover she walked into the dircetion Haldir left. Soon she found him and he pulled her behind him on the horse. They started to move quickly after that and started the last part of the march. In a few hours the battle would begin.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rita had been silent during the ride and Haldir didn't break the silence either. Suddenly they could see their destination. The black gates were huge and the entire army halted.
There were three hills (A/N: ok I'm making this up here, I'm too lazy to check the books right now, forgive me?) and the troops divided into three portions.
The elves from Rivendell and Mirkwood took the hill on the left. In the middle were Aragorn and Prince Dol Amroth with the troops from Gondor, and also Éomer with the soldiers from Rohan. The Lothlorien elves placed themselves at the right hill. Their number was as large as the number of elves from Mirkwood and Rivendell combined.
Rita got off the horse when Haldir was requested by Aragorn to join them to the black gates with the small party that had formed. She recognized all her friends and also Éomer and a few elves whom she didn't know.
As they rode away Rita stared at the retreating figures for a few seconds until she snapped out of her daze. She started to walk past the rows of elves and told some of them to change positions.
The ones who were not equipped with a long sword but only with dagger and a bow, she put at the rows in the back, while she placed strong elves with long swords in the front. She figured this would be better since the first rows would take the hit first when archery was no longer an option.
She stood on the side of the front row, looking back at the elves around her, the men whom had accepted her into their midst. She knew there would be casualties and that this would be the end for some of her friends, since there was never a battle without any death.
In the distance she could make out dots, which she assumed was the party, and she asked Rumil, who was standing beside her, what was going on.
But Rumil couldn't see what was happening either, because the backs of those who were there blocked the view. He did mention it when they started to return to the hill and when the gates opened.
Rita yelled for everyone to get ready, she could hear the cries of the orcs as they emerged from the dark land. She could see the members of the party arrive just in the nick of time.
Inside she was aching for a good fight. In the corner of her eye she saw Haldir arrive and position himself in the front row as well.
"Get ready" she yelled "Wait, wait, NOW. First row fire!"
The arrows hit their marks with the expected accuracy and Rita kept on yelling orders.
"Second row, fire"
Again orcs fell down. She made a motion with her hand to the elves at the rows in the back. "Release the arrows!"
When she yelled this the 5 rows of elves in the back drew their bows and arrows rained down upon the orcs. She saw that the orcs were hitting the middle hill really hard and gave the order to the back rows to shower those orcs with arrows as well.
"Fire at will" she yelled, and the elves did just that.
Orcs fell long before they reached them but they kept on advancing. Rita warned the elves when there were tight spots but soon she saw that arrows would be of little use for the front rows.
"Swords! We're switching to hand-to-hand combat." After she gave this command the sound of swords being taken out of their sheets was heard.
Rita took her sword as well and stood there waiting for the orcs to near. The elves in the back kept on shooting arrows.
As the orcs came closer and closer Rita glanced at Haldir, who had his sword ready as well, and she put the sword to her heart for a second, showing her respect for him and wishing him luck. She smiled when he did the same.
"I guess this is it." she said to Rumil and he nodded.
When the orcs were finally close enough Rita was the first one to storm forwards and engage in battle with a battlecry. The orcs didn't know what hit them as she sliced and diced her way through the evil creatures.
She kept an eye on her friends as good as she could but lost track of most of them. Every once in a while she would see Rumil or Haldir or one of the others but as quickly as they appeared they disappeared again as well.
Suddenly she noted that she was surrounded. *Well this is not good* she thought as she attacked the closest orc.
Lucky for her she got help in the form of a certain captain of Lothlorien. Haldir helped her out of her tight spot as he drew the attention from some of the orcs around her.
Back to back they fought them off. "Thanks" Rita yelled over the noise of battle "That could've gone badly, I owe you one."
He was unable to answer as another band of orcs attacked. Knowing her back was covered, Rita looked around to see that the elves had scattered in small groups and she frowned.
She started to yell loud again, her throat was getting kind of sore of all the yelling but she did what she had to do.
"Regroup, don't let them divide us. Regroup!"
Haldir joined her while shouting the same orders and the elves started to gather around a little closer, forming groups to fight the evil beasts.
They could see that the middle hill was attacked worse than they were, since Aragorn, or rather king Elessar, was on that hill.
The enemy was strong and fast, but so were they. Elves were mean fighting- machines, or so Rita mused. On the outside they were all beautiful and pure, but if you upset them. . . then it would be best to pack your bags and run.
With skilled strikes the elves killed the orcs, they made it seem so easy it was almost as if they were dancing instead of fighting.
Rita was proud to be amongst these warriors, she was running on the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins, it gave her energy and the edge she needed.
Suddenly she could hear a cry. "The eagles are coming, the eagles are coming."
She turned to see what was meant and was met by the sight of giant eagles who flew through the sky with majestic grace.
The eagles seemed to give all hope and the fight was even fiercer. Then a rumbling sound came from Mordor itself. Rita knew immediately what had happened: Frodo had destroyed the ring as he was supposed to. Slowly but surely the orcs were driven backwards and the good guys were winning.
Rita grinned at Rumil, who suddenly appeared at her right side, and got an idea. "Watch my back" she said and the elves stood around her in a protective circle.
She pulled the horn of Gondor from its place on her belt and just like the battle on the fields of Gondor, she blew it. It made a booming sound and Rita made sure not to blow it the same way Boromir did when he was in danger, in order not to worry the fellowship.
Once again, the horn seemed to give the men a boost. After blowing the horn five times she put it back on her belt and grabbed her sword and dagger again, both were covered in blood.
After a while there were no more enemies to fight since they were either dead, or retreating back to Mordor. Aragorn called all to him, saying they would go to Ithilien to recover strength an heal the wounded.
This put a damper on the good spirit and most would search the ground for survivors between the orc-bodies.
Rita left Haldir and Rumil and started to search on her own. Then she saw something move between the corpses that were scattered on the ground. She ran towards the movement and saw Tiruvor laying there, in a pool of his own blood. He was a bit on the side, so he was overlooked.
He caught her eye and she fell on her knees beside him and made him lay still. "It's ok Tiruvor, I'm going to get some help and you'll heal and then you can teach me more of your language while I sit at your side."
"I'm afraid. . . that is. . . going to. . . be hard." The fallen elf wheezed between labored breaths. "I. . . am dying Rita. . . I can feel it."
Rita shook her head vigorously. "No you are not going to die, I won't let you."
He gave her a sad smile. "That is not. . . in your power my friend."
A tear leaked from Rita's eye, he was her friend and he was dying. "Is there nothing I can do? Nothing I can help you with?"
"Could you. . . I'm scared Rita. . . could you sing for me?" His voice was getting weaker and weaker.
"Sing? Sure I can do that, what kind of song, though I only know songs in Common."
"Any song friend. . . the sound would comfort me."
Rita started to sing the first song that came to her mind, it was a sad song called 'Just go' by a group called Kane. (A/N: Dutch band and they rock!! If you ever want to download any music I highly recommend them)
Hold on to your wings
and never let them go
never let them go.
Fly on through the wind
to where you wanna go
to where you wanna go
Why don't you just go on baby
Live it then fly
oh live it then fly just away
Baby just go
Live till you die
Live till you die believe it
Baby just go
Wait on till the end
and never let it slip
never let it slip
Cause sometimes
sometimes you gotta be strong
No matter what they say
You gotta find your own way
And just go
Live it then fly
oh live it then fly just away
Baby just go
Live till you die
oh live till you die believe it
Baby just go
Live till you die
live it then fly my baby
Baby just go
Live till you die
Baby just go
For one day you'll see
one day you'll see
That time runs out
from underneath your wings
Time runs out
Time runs out
As she sang the last lines of the song Tiruvor exhaled for the last time and his soul left for the Hall of Mandos.
Tears traveled down Rita's cheeks as she put her forehead on that of the fallen elf. Finally she closed his eyes and folded his hands. And she sat with him, remembering the time they spent together. The speech he had given in her honor, the times he would teach her his language.
Haldir watched from a few feet away, because he had heard her sing and walked towards the sound. He bent his head, Tiruvor had been an old and good friend.
Eventually he made his way towards her and put his hand on her shoulder, making himself known to her. She looked up at him with an expression he would never forget; a look of utter shock, disbelief and anger.
He tried to calm her with a look, since he wasn't good with words. Something told him she understood what he was trying to make clear because there was a flicker in her eye, and then she raised the walls.
Now Haldir knew all about walls, his were up as high as they could get at the moment. He understood why she would feel the need to protect herself from all the pain. It was the same reason his were up.
Haldir picked Tiruvor up at the shoulders and Rita held him at his legs and together they carried the fallen elf to where the bodies of the Lothlorien elves were going to be rested.
When they got to that place Rita closed her eyes for a second, trying to block it all out. She exchanged a look with Haldir as if trying to draw strength from him.
For a few seconds he lowered the barriers of his mind, showing her his inner turmoil, then raised them again. She nodded in understanding, now was not the time to grieve. It was a time to collect the wounded and deal with the damage. The time for grieving would come later.
The two set out to the field again, searching for survivors. . . together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The sun was setting when the exhausted troops finally reached Ithilien. Aragorn was attending to Frodo and Sam while Elrohir, Elladan and several other healers ran around healing various soldiers.
It was a mad house. . . to say at least.
Haldir and Rita stayed close together, they're experience that day made them closer. They had searched for dead bodies for hours and hours, bot locking their emotions away. Though Rita did almost cry out in relief when she saw Elladan and Elrohir attending to the wounded.
Now they were the ones the Lothlorien elves looked up to, to speak calming words or words of comfort, to share their pain with, to play the roles of fearless leaders.
Rita was superb in her role, as was Haldir. They both radiated power, yet Rita was more compassionate than Haldir. The men would turn to her to cry on her shoulder while they would turn to Haldir for strength.
Inside Rita was almost dying. She was so familiar with playing this part; the part of the strong person who could carry the weight of the world.
Yet she was no longer that person, she had established that before they went to battle. So why did she fall back into her role, or didn't she fall back? Perhaps this was the person she became while dealing with pain, the part she pulled out when she was in need of protection.
She was confused, but didn't ponder over the issue that much since there was a lot to give attention to. The first thing she had done when they entered Ithilien was hand all her medical supplies to Aragorn.
He had accepted it with a grim face, telling her he would need it. The scowl on his face turned to one of surprise when he found the liquid she was given by the three marchwardens the day they left Lothlorien. At first he wanted to give it back to her, telling her it was much to valuable to spend on an entire army.
Rita had reacted a little harsh at this. "Can it save lives?" she had asked and when he had confirmed this she said "Then it is worth more than anything. I don't care if it's valuable, those lives it can save are much more valuable." before she briskly walked off.
Now things were starting to calm down. Almost all the wounded had been treated. Even Rita had done what she could, which consisted of bandaging people.
All were tired and one by one the men fell asleep. It was like nothing anyone had seen in centuries; men and elves, mixed together after a horrendous battle.
Elladan was weary when he caught sight of Rita, who was still sticking like glue to Haldir. The elf frowned at this, he had only seen flashes of Rita that day and not once had she been apart from the Lothlorien elf. He wondered if he should be jealous.
He decided to let it rest, and that included himself. He desperately needed some rest. Elladan found an empty bunk and collapsed on it. He fell asleep while thinking he would talk to Rita the next day.
After a final sweep through the castle Rita stepped outside on a balcony, Haldir following closely behind. She started to pull on her armory but was unable to take it off.
Haldir helped her taking it off before he took his own off as well. The pieces of armor were scattered on the ground and the two almost collapsed to the ground and they leaned against the railing.
Rita was the one to break the silence. "I thought this would never end, how do you do it Haldir? How do you keep up the appearance of being the cold- blooded leader for so long? Cause I know you have been doing it for thousands of years right?"
"I honestly don't know Rita, though I must admit that this day has been more trying to my walls than the past thousand years have been. It was hard at times, yes, but I never lost as many men as I did today, nor did I have an entire company looking at me for strength and leadership."
"So many died." Rita's voice was small as she said this.
"Aye, yet their death was not for nothing, Sauron has been defeated and that what remains of his army will be hunted in the coming period. Good has won over evil."
"Then why don't I feel like celebrating?" Haldir didn't answer her question, cause he didn't know how to do that.
"Who died, I mean of our company. I have seen so many. I know Tiruvor is dead and I think I saw Maglor and Eöl as well."
"Golradir, Amrod, Galdor. . . " One by one Haldir started to drone the names. There were 47 in total. 47 brave men who had fought bravely and who had died.
Rita finally let her walls out, allowing the tears that she had held back for hours to fall. When she looked at Haldir she saw to her shock that he was doing the same. Tears were streaming down his face, the salty streams of water clearly visible since his cheeks were still dirty from dirt and dried blood.
She scooted a bit closer to him and grabbed his hand, which he gave a squeeze when he took it. and it was so that Rumil, who had been looking for his brother, found the two.
Crying soundlessly, for they were not sobbing, while they were holding hands as if they were drawing strength from each other.
A/N: Wow it's over, the battle that is. I never suspected Haldir would have such a large role in this chapter, but hey if this is what my muse wanted then it's what he(or she) gets. Please let me know what you think, I am eagerly awaiting.
Passion Lover: Mucho action AND drama as you requested, just read to enjoy!
Sailorverystupid: Hey stranger, wow thanks for reviewing again. I'm happy you liked the chapters so far. I am gonna update tomorrow again if all goes well so I hope that's soon enough for you.
LanierShazar: Hope you didn't have to wait too long for this chapter, also hope it'll live up to your expectations.
Lady of Legolas: Yep, her life used to be sad. Lucky her it's so much better now. And I will tell you right now, HALDIR WON'T DIE!!! I hate it that he died in TTT so I won't do that to one of my fav characters.
Musicgrl: So happy you liked, this chapter will have no pranks though.
The Lady Sorcha of Sevenwaters: I wasn't worried, really I wasn't. Ah well just a little. It's not everyday people faint while reading my fic. Hope this chapter will be good as well.
Shinigami29: Ok Audrey, calm down. Yes her dad is evil, but he's a world away. So breathe ok! ;)
Corinna: No more pranks, sorry but battle is no time for pranks. You really think this is the best story you read? Wow I'm so honored. Question, did you ever read Irulan and Irulan II by Darma Druid? If not do so, she really is one of the best writers. I would be happy with just a quarter of her talent.
Arwen-evenstar: No way! We just finished studying Beowulf as well at school. This is getting weird!
Aurumlupi: Yep battle now, hope you'll like!
Blahblah: I hope you finish RotK soon, it ends so sadly!
MaverickGirl: Glad you liked the little joke. Was this update soon enough?
Dancingfae: Yep, mighty Haldir was beaten by a girl. He lost his temper, fun huh? Oh Rita has flashbacks and dreams in certain situations. She lived in hell for almost 18 years so she's bound to be scarred (emotionally) and so sometimes she has flashbacks or dreams. Get it? And for Rita it wouldn't be easy to let everything out, or maybe it would. She's always been a bit of a loner so opening up will take more time, a lot more time. But you just gave me a good idea, before battle we will have a little Rita insight.
Meggers: Stupid teachers! Hey, didn't get the chapter, you still working on it? Did you post the chapter I read for you already? Am eagerly awaiting news.
DISCLAIMER: Don't wanna, it should be obvious by now!!!!!!!!!!
*Weird* Rita thought *When did time to move on so slowly, it feels I've been sitting here for days already yet the sun is still far from rising*
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Elladan intently studying her, watching her closely with a worried look in his eyes.
She wanted to call out to him, tell him she was alright but she knew she was far from ok. The nightmare had unlocked some of the worst memories and she was fighting a battle on the inside to control herself.
*Maybe I should take some lessons from Haldir, if anything else he's great at controlling his emotions. I can't use this right now, I need to be focussed for tomorrow*
Now that was a concept. Tomorrow they would engage in an almost hopeless battle, tomorrow they would be fighting for their lives, tomorrow many men would die.
Rita was doing something she hadn't done in a while, she was questioning her abilities. No matter what Haldir said earlier, she still felt insecure about the entire second-in-command thing. It was just a huge responsibility.
Sure, she could handle a sword and kill any orc near her, but commanding a company could she really do that?
Her mind was going in circles. She could still hear her father yelling at her how useless she was and that she was a no good tramp. Yet the verbal abuse was nothing compared to the physical. As the years went by the abuse grew more intense, more painful. Broken or bruised ribs were not uncommon and bruises were normal to her.
Slowly she felt herself go back to that period, the time before she landed in Middle Earth. Never before had she noticed the change in herself since she landed here, but now she knew.
Somehow her protective walls had crumbled and she had let people in her heart. But at what price? What if someone close to her would die? With her walls almost disappeared, would she be able to handle the loss of another friend, another brother or, she almost did not dare to think about it, what if she lost the man she loved?
It would destroy her, of that she was sure, if Elladan were to die in this battle. She had meant what she had said so many nights before in Rivendell. Elladan was the reason she was living, literally, and not just because of the orcs.
She hadn't told it to anyone, not even Boromir or Elladan, especially not Elladan. Rita suspected only Galadriel knew about this secret since she was a mindreader. Rita never told anyone about her plan, about what she was going to do after she left the cemetery that night. Well, she would have done so if she hadn't fallen into Middle Earth.
The plan was simple actually, just walk to the lake and taking a swim. An eternal swim, so she would be with her little sister again.
Now Rita was ashamed of herself for that. Suicide wasn't the answer, but she had been so desperate at that time.
When she compared the her from then with the her from now, she could clearly see the changes inside herself. And that scared her more than any evil in Mordor.
*What will I do* she pondered.
She blinked when she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Haldir standing over her. She blinked again when she saw that the first rays of light were starting to show, though they weren't very bright, it lit the way before them.
"So I'm forgiven?" she asked the elf beside her.
Haldir rolled his eyes at her, making her smile a little. "We need you rested in battle, now walking wouldn't be the way for that."
Rita started to gather the few possessions she had with her and looked at her friends around her, most were still asleep.
"Hey Haldir, is it ok if I join you later? I have to do some stuff."
He gave her a look and nodded before he walked off to the other elves again. Rita stared after him for a few seconds before Elladan broke the silence that had hung between them the entire night.
"Are you alright Rita, really alright. I noticed you didn't rest at all, what was going through that head of yours melamin, you looked so sad."
"Nothing, everything. Just thinking, that's all. But I did notice you didn't rest either but I suppose you can take it." She tried to lighten the mood with a small joke and Elladan took this as a sign she really didn't want to talk about it and smiled at her, letting the subject slide, for now.
He pulled her in an embrace, carefully stepping over the sleeping form of Pippin. With a sigh Rita buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent the best she could, mentally burning it in her memory.
After a few minutes they broke apart and started to wake the others. Legolas, Elrohir, Gandalf and Aragorn were up in a flash, it were Pippin and Gimli who were the ones hard to wake.
Leaving Gimli to Legolas, Rita started to shake Pippin. "Come on Pip, wake up, we're leaving now." This didn't even faze the hobbit and Rita suddenly had a wicked smile on her face. She remembered something Pippin had told her once.
"PEREGRIN TOOK, IF YOU DO NOT GET UP THIS INSTANT I WILL MAKE SURE YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF THE HOUSE EVER AGAIN!!!"
At this the poor hobbit jumped up. "I'm up mum, really I'm up." Rita started to giggle and Pippin suddenly realized he wasn't at home but on the way to Mordor.
"Rita, you. . . " he sputtered "I regret telling you about all the times mum woke me up like that. Really couldn't you have woken me in a different way."
"Nope, you were fast asleep. Now get ready, we're leaving soon."
As Pippin started to scramble up Rita saw Gimli had woken as well. She looked at her friends, knowing this could be the last time they saw each other. She also knew her place in battle was no longer beside the fellowship but beside the Lothlorien elves.
Gandalf was the first one she hugged. "Be careful you old wizard, loosing you once was bad enough ok?"
"There, there. I will be quite alright dear."
Next up was Gimli who scowled at her. "I am still not happy about you fighting with those elves instead of us lass, but I suppose they will take care of you. If not I will. . . " He didn't finish the threat since Rita knelt down to hug him, silencing him as he hugged her back.
"Thanks Gimli" she whispered when she turned to Pippin, remaining on her knees. "Now you take care you hear me Pip? No time for silly pranks or stupid acts, I promised Merry I'd look out for you so don't make me break that promise."
He quickly nodded and hugged her back as hard as he could. Legolas was next and they exchanged no words. Neither could think of anything to say so they just hugged and looked each other in the eyes, and that was enough.
Elrohir gave her a friendly hug as well, telling her to be careful. Aragorn was next and he pulled her in a big bear-hug, which she returned as strongly as he gave her.
When he let her go he gave her a stern look. "Now Rita, I know this will be hard for you but please, do not take any unnecessary risks. And for the Valar's sake, come back unharmed."
"Yes dad." Rita said teasingly and she winked at him before she turned to the last person she had to say goodbye to: Elladan.
She didn't notice as the others moved away, giving the two some privacy. She looked deep in his eyes and suddenly threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight.
"Live" is all she said, unable to say anything because the lump in her throat prevented her to do so. Next thing she knew Elladan had pushed his lips against hers and was swept away by the emotion of the kiss.
There was desperation and passion but also love, lots of love. Eventually the kiss broke and Elladan held her close.
"Stay safe melamin, come back to me." He whispered this softly in her ear and Rita just nodded. When he released her from his embrace she bent down to grab her gauntlets and helm, which she had taken off before sleeping, and put them on.
As she did this, she could feel a familiar feeling come over her. A feeling of readiness. She was ready for whatever that was going to be thrown at her, and she would do what she have to do.
After a final glance at her friends and lover she walked into the dircetion Haldir left. Soon she found him and he pulled her behind him on the horse. They started to move quickly after that and started the last part of the march. In a few hours the battle would begin.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rita had been silent during the ride and Haldir didn't break the silence either. Suddenly they could see their destination. The black gates were huge and the entire army halted.
There were three hills (A/N: ok I'm making this up here, I'm too lazy to check the books right now, forgive me?) and the troops divided into three portions.
The elves from Rivendell and Mirkwood took the hill on the left. In the middle were Aragorn and Prince Dol Amroth with the troops from Gondor, and also Éomer with the soldiers from Rohan. The Lothlorien elves placed themselves at the right hill. Their number was as large as the number of elves from Mirkwood and Rivendell combined.
Rita got off the horse when Haldir was requested by Aragorn to join them to the black gates with the small party that had formed. She recognized all her friends and also Éomer and a few elves whom she didn't know.
As they rode away Rita stared at the retreating figures for a few seconds until she snapped out of her daze. She started to walk past the rows of elves and told some of them to change positions.
The ones who were not equipped with a long sword but only with dagger and a bow, she put at the rows in the back, while she placed strong elves with long swords in the front. She figured this would be better since the first rows would take the hit first when archery was no longer an option.
She stood on the side of the front row, looking back at the elves around her, the men whom had accepted her into their midst. She knew there would be casualties and that this would be the end for some of her friends, since there was never a battle without any death.
In the distance she could make out dots, which she assumed was the party, and she asked Rumil, who was standing beside her, what was going on.
But Rumil couldn't see what was happening either, because the backs of those who were there blocked the view. He did mention it when they started to return to the hill and when the gates opened.
Rita yelled for everyone to get ready, she could hear the cries of the orcs as they emerged from the dark land. She could see the members of the party arrive just in the nick of time.
Inside she was aching for a good fight. In the corner of her eye she saw Haldir arrive and position himself in the front row as well.
"Get ready" she yelled "Wait, wait, NOW. First row fire!"
The arrows hit their marks with the expected accuracy and Rita kept on yelling orders.
"Second row, fire"
Again orcs fell down. She made a motion with her hand to the elves at the rows in the back. "Release the arrows!"
When she yelled this the 5 rows of elves in the back drew their bows and arrows rained down upon the orcs. She saw that the orcs were hitting the middle hill really hard and gave the order to the back rows to shower those orcs with arrows as well.
"Fire at will" she yelled, and the elves did just that.
Orcs fell long before they reached them but they kept on advancing. Rita warned the elves when there were tight spots but soon she saw that arrows would be of little use for the front rows.
"Swords! We're switching to hand-to-hand combat." After she gave this command the sound of swords being taken out of their sheets was heard.
Rita took her sword as well and stood there waiting for the orcs to near. The elves in the back kept on shooting arrows.
As the orcs came closer and closer Rita glanced at Haldir, who had his sword ready as well, and she put the sword to her heart for a second, showing her respect for him and wishing him luck. She smiled when he did the same.
"I guess this is it." she said to Rumil and he nodded.
When the orcs were finally close enough Rita was the first one to storm forwards and engage in battle with a battlecry. The orcs didn't know what hit them as she sliced and diced her way through the evil creatures.
She kept an eye on her friends as good as she could but lost track of most of them. Every once in a while she would see Rumil or Haldir or one of the others but as quickly as they appeared they disappeared again as well.
Suddenly she noted that she was surrounded. *Well this is not good* she thought as she attacked the closest orc.
Lucky for her she got help in the form of a certain captain of Lothlorien. Haldir helped her out of her tight spot as he drew the attention from some of the orcs around her.
Back to back they fought them off. "Thanks" Rita yelled over the noise of battle "That could've gone badly, I owe you one."
He was unable to answer as another band of orcs attacked. Knowing her back was covered, Rita looked around to see that the elves had scattered in small groups and she frowned.
She started to yell loud again, her throat was getting kind of sore of all the yelling but she did what she had to do.
"Regroup, don't let them divide us. Regroup!"
Haldir joined her while shouting the same orders and the elves started to gather around a little closer, forming groups to fight the evil beasts.
They could see that the middle hill was attacked worse than they were, since Aragorn, or rather king Elessar, was on that hill.
The enemy was strong and fast, but so were they. Elves were mean fighting- machines, or so Rita mused. On the outside they were all beautiful and pure, but if you upset them. . . then it would be best to pack your bags and run.
With skilled strikes the elves killed the orcs, they made it seem so easy it was almost as if they were dancing instead of fighting.
Rita was proud to be amongst these warriors, she was running on the adrenaline that was coursing through her veins, it gave her energy and the edge she needed.
Suddenly she could hear a cry. "The eagles are coming, the eagles are coming."
She turned to see what was meant and was met by the sight of giant eagles who flew through the sky with majestic grace.
The eagles seemed to give all hope and the fight was even fiercer. Then a rumbling sound came from Mordor itself. Rita knew immediately what had happened: Frodo had destroyed the ring as he was supposed to. Slowly but surely the orcs were driven backwards and the good guys were winning.
Rita grinned at Rumil, who suddenly appeared at her right side, and got an idea. "Watch my back" she said and the elves stood around her in a protective circle.
She pulled the horn of Gondor from its place on her belt and just like the battle on the fields of Gondor, she blew it. It made a booming sound and Rita made sure not to blow it the same way Boromir did when he was in danger, in order not to worry the fellowship.
Once again, the horn seemed to give the men a boost. After blowing the horn five times she put it back on her belt and grabbed her sword and dagger again, both were covered in blood.
After a while there were no more enemies to fight since they were either dead, or retreating back to Mordor. Aragorn called all to him, saying they would go to Ithilien to recover strength an heal the wounded.
This put a damper on the good spirit and most would search the ground for survivors between the orc-bodies.
Rita left Haldir and Rumil and started to search on her own. Then she saw something move between the corpses that were scattered on the ground. She ran towards the movement and saw Tiruvor laying there, in a pool of his own blood. He was a bit on the side, so he was overlooked.
He caught her eye and she fell on her knees beside him and made him lay still. "It's ok Tiruvor, I'm going to get some help and you'll heal and then you can teach me more of your language while I sit at your side."
"I'm afraid. . . that is. . . going to. . . be hard." The fallen elf wheezed between labored breaths. "I. . . am dying Rita. . . I can feel it."
Rita shook her head vigorously. "No you are not going to die, I won't let you."
He gave her a sad smile. "That is not. . . in your power my friend."
A tear leaked from Rita's eye, he was her friend and he was dying. "Is there nothing I can do? Nothing I can help you with?"
"Could you. . . I'm scared Rita. . . could you sing for me?" His voice was getting weaker and weaker.
"Sing? Sure I can do that, what kind of song, though I only know songs in Common."
"Any song friend. . . the sound would comfort me."
Rita started to sing the first song that came to her mind, it was a sad song called 'Just go' by a group called Kane. (A/N: Dutch band and they rock!! If you ever want to download any music I highly recommend them)
Hold on to your wings
and never let them go
never let them go.
Fly on through the wind
to where you wanna go
to where you wanna go
Why don't you just go on baby
Live it then fly
oh live it then fly just away
Baby just go
Live till you die
Live till you die believe it
Baby just go
Wait on till the end
and never let it slip
never let it slip
Cause sometimes
sometimes you gotta be strong
No matter what they say
You gotta find your own way
And just go
Live it then fly
oh live it then fly just away
Baby just go
Live till you die
oh live till you die believe it
Baby just go
Live till you die
live it then fly my baby
Baby just go
Live till you die
Baby just go
For one day you'll see
one day you'll see
That time runs out
from underneath your wings
Time runs out
Time runs out
As she sang the last lines of the song Tiruvor exhaled for the last time and his soul left for the Hall of Mandos.
Tears traveled down Rita's cheeks as she put her forehead on that of the fallen elf. Finally she closed his eyes and folded his hands. And she sat with him, remembering the time they spent together. The speech he had given in her honor, the times he would teach her his language.
Haldir watched from a few feet away, because he had heard her sing and walked towards the sound. He bent his head, Tiruvor had been an old and good friend.
Eventually he made his way towards her and put his hand on her shoulder, making himself known to her. She looked up at him with an expression he would never forget; a look of utter shock, disbelief and anger.
He tried to calm her with a look, since he wasn't good with words. Something told him she understood what he was trying to make clear because there was a flicker in her eye, and then she raised the walls.
Now Haldir knew all about walls, his were up as high as they could get at the moment. He understood why she would feel the need to protect herself from all the pain. It was the same reason his were up.
Haldir picked Tiruvor up at the shoulders and Rita held him at his legs and together they carried the fallen elf to where the bodies of the Lothlorien elves were going to be rested.
When they got to that place Rita closed her eyes for a second, trying to block it all out. She exchanged a look with Haldir as if trying to draw strength from him.
For a few seconds he lowered the barriers of his mind, showing her his inner turmoil, then raised them again. She nodded in understanding, now was not the time to grieve. It was a time to collect the wounded and deal with the damage. The time for grieving would come later.
The two set out to the field again, searching for survivors. . . together.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The sun was setting when the exhausted troops finally reached Ithilien. Aragorn was attending to Frodo and Sam while Elrohir, Elladan and several other healers ran around healing various soldiers.
It was a mad house. . . to say at least.
Haldir and Rita stayed close together, they're experience that day made them closer. They had searched for dead bodies for hours and hours, bot locking their emotions away. Though Rita did almost cry out in relief when she saw Elladan and Elrohir attending to the wounded.
Now they were the ones the Lothlorien elves looked up to, to speak calming words or words of comfort, to share their pain with, to play the roles of fearless leaders.
Rita was superb in her role, as was Haldir. They both radiated power, yet Rita was more compassionate than Haldir. The men would turn to her to cry on her shoulder while they would turn to Haldir for strength.
Inside Rita was almost dying. She was so familiar with playing this part; the part of the strong person who could carry the weight of the world.
Yet she was no longer that person, she had established that before they went to battle. So why did she fall back into her role, or didn't she fall back? Perhaps this was the person she became while dealing with pain, the part she pulled out when she was in need of protection.
She was confused, but didn't ponder over the issue that much since there was a lot to give attention to. The first thing she had done when they entered Ithilien was hand all her medical supplies to Aragorn.
He had accepted it with a grim face, telling her he would need it. The scowl on his face turned to one of surprise when he found the liquid she was given by the three marchwardens the day they left Lothlorien. At first he wanted to give it back to her, telling her it was much to valuable to spend on an entire army.
Rita had reacted a little harsh at this. "Can it save lives?" she had asked and when he had confirmed this she said "Then it is worth more than anything. I don't care if it's valuable, those lives it can save are much more valuable." before she briskly walked off.
Now things were starting to calm down. Almost all the wounded had been treated. Even Rita had done what she could, which consisted of bandaging people.
All were tired and one by one the men fell asleep. It was like nothing anyone had seen in centuries; men and elves, mixed together after a horrendous battle.
Elladan was weary when he caught sight of Rita, who was still sticking like glue to Haldir. The elf frowned at this, he had only seen flashes of Rita that day and not once had she been apart from the Lothlorien elf. He wondered if he should be jealous.
He decided to let it rest, and that included himself. He desperately needed some rest. Elladan found an empty bunk and collapsed on it. He fell asleep while thinking he would talk to Rita the next day.
After a final sweep through the castle Rita stepped outside on a balcony, Haldir following closely behind. She started to pull on her armory but was unable to take it off.
Haldir helped her taking it off before he took his own off as well. The pieces of armor were scattered on the ground and the two almost collapsed to the ground and they leaned against the railing.
Rita was the one to break the silence. "I thought this would never end, how do you do it Haldir? How do you keep up the appearance of being the cold- blooded leader for so long? Cause I know you have been doing it for thousands of years right?"
"I honestly don't know Rita, though I must admit that this day has been more trying to my walls than the past thousand years have been. It was hard at times, yes, but I never lost as many men as I did today, nor did I have an entire company looking at me for strength and leadership."
"So many died." Rita's voice was small as she said this.
"Aye, yet their death was not for nothing, Sauron has been defeated and that what remains of his army will be hunted in the coming period. Good has won over evil."
"Then why don't I feel like celebrating?" Haldir didn't answer her question, cause he didn't know how to do that.
"Who died, I mean of our company. I have seen so many. I know Tiruvor is dead and I think I saw Maglor and Eöl as well."
"Golradir, Amrod, Galdor. . . " One by one Haldir started to drone the names. There were 47 in total. 47 brave men who had fought bravely and who had died.
Rita finally let her walls out, allowing the tears that she had held back for hours to fall. When she looked at Haldir she saw to her shock that he was doing the same. Tears were streaming down his face, the salty streams of water clearly visible since his cheeks were still dirty from dirt and dried blood.
She scooted a bit closer to him and grabbed his hand, which he gave a squeeze when he took it. and it was so that Rumil, who had been looking for his brother, found the two.
Crying soundlessly, for they were not sobbing, while they were holding hands as if they were drawing strength from each other.
A/N: Wow it's over, the battle that is. I never suspected Haldir would have such a large role in this chapter, but hey if this is what my muse wanted then it's what he(or she) gets. Please let me know what you think, I am eagerly awaiting.