A/N Double update coming here or maybe 3 even we will see. I hope people are still interested in this story. Please let me know.

Suffered some major writers block here that I got through while I was down with the flu. So, I think I figured out my plot holes and issues that were not working out.

This is the pretty dark and heavy and much needed to explain the past and help understand circumstances leading up to why they crashed into each other all the way when they met. He needed to hear everything, and they are slowly building up their allies against the corruption too. Just gotta have faith.

Sorry for the delays but doing my best, despite lots of struggles with real life and work and health. I'm eager to keep reading reviewing and catching up more on other awesome Roman authors stories here too.

Please do check out my first chapter of my super sweet fluffy Roman story Finding You when I made him a single Daddy sick with the flu himself and his adorable little girl goes to their neighbor looking for help for them. They say write what you know so I did. Lol And it was fun and I loved how it turned out.

Emily woke up to an empty bed when she rolled over and squinted at the sunlight streaming through the center of the big front window despite the big thick fabric curtains still pulled tight.

Looking around she couldn't see Roman anywhere and the bathroom door was wide open with the light off too. Her hand brushed across his pillow as she moved as a crinkling of paper she could feel under her palm. She lifted the paper up to the light and saw he had left her a note.

My Emmie,

I slept like a baby after that heavenly massage. Just out grabbing some breakfast and a few things. Back in a few. Please just relax. You are safe Beautiful.

Believe that.

R

Sinking back into the pillows, Emily clutched the note to her chest and smiled. He called her his...and it felt amazing to be safe. She could hardly believe how brave she had been last night and how daring and sexual. Everything felt amazing. She was SO glad he enjoyed the massage too.

She had felt him turned on and so hungry for her too and seen the heat in his eyes for her and yet she could not stop laughing at how cute he had been being all possessive and angry. It had been incredibly hot and yet everything was so adorable too.

Smiling now she just imagined him like a baby lion just practicing his roar and trying to sound all tough and strong and still having it come out like this tiny kitten because she wasn't scared of him in the least.

He came off all big and strong and her first impression of him when he jumped into action and attacked those guys trying to hurt her at the bus station was that he was scary as fuck strong and dangerous and so freaking brave.

All of that was still so true but the more she got to know him she found this giant teddy bear underneath all that tough guy exterior too and she loved that to pieces.

She got up now and went to the bathroom and disposed of the pad again and got a fresh one seeing she was definitely bleeding less again but still feeling some cramping from the stillbirth. She decided to try a tampon too so she could soak in the tub too since she missed out on that the night before, so the pad was merely back up, but she doubted anything was that heavy at all anymore. Everything still felt sore down there but that could still be the meds wearing off too.

Washing up and brushing her teeth with a new toothbrush she found on the counter she rinsed her mouth out and combed her hair. She nearly kicked a big paper bag just sitting on the floor by the sink and saw laying on the top of it was another note from her precious man.

Picking it up she held it to light from the doorway, still resisting turning the much brighter lights on in the bathroom.

Sweet Em,

Hope you feel good getting up and out of bed. I got this for being my sweet flirty self to the older lady from housekeeping just like you said and apologized about the sheets...again. She laughed and could not stop smiling at me, but I told her just a little about how we got here. Don't worry, nothing that would alert the cops I promise. But just that we had basically nothing clothes wise for you but the one tank top and shorts. So, she literally dragged me to the back room and dumped this bag in my arms.

It is full of clothes guests have forgotten and don't come back to claim, all washed and clean and fresh. She had no idea what your size might be or not and we can still go shopping yet but I thought you would like anything else to wear and you are welcome to whatever you want.

I will be back as soon as I can with breakfast, and we can talk or whatever you want. I am here for you.

Your Superman

Emily was already grinning as she laid the note down on the counter and started digging in the bag to see what she could find that might fit her. She decided she still wanted to wear Roman's shirt and for now was just going to see if there was any kind of sexy or even just comfy lingerie at all. She didn't find any sets but pulling out a few bras she found soft pink one lace one in her size, and it looked so delicate and so pretty.

She undid the buttons on his dress shirt and slipped it off her shoulders and laid it down on the counter and pulled the bra on and fastened it up in the back. She bent down and looked for some kind of bottoms that might work too instead of wearing his boxers too and found some lace boy-cut cheeky style panties that still covered her padding and yet looked really cute with the bra. They were a darker pink but still looked like they could go together quite well even without being a set and she for the first time actually looked at herself in the mirror.

Yesterday, she barely had dared to ever look up anytime she washed up or was in here at all. Her head stayed down, and she got away from anywhere she could see a mirror as fast as she could.

Today, the light was still off in the bathroom, and she had left the door open enough to see to do what she needed in there. But now she felt stronger and lifted her eyes and studied the person looking back at her. Emily caught herself by her hands as her knees almost caused her to crumble at the full sight of her broken body. It was too soon, and everything was too scary, too raw.

She slipped the dress shirt back on and buttoned it back up. Facing just the damage on her face was already enough. The rest of her body held so much more, and she wasn't strong enough for that yet. She could tell almost the second she had looked up and had nearly buckled against the counter.

Emily wasn't sure she recognized the woman in the mirror. She was face to face with all the damage Hunter had done...again.

Her heart was racing at just what she saw in front of her. So much had been broken in and on her that she was seconds from crying just looking at her own eyes looking back at her.

No, it was too much. Her eyes held so much pain still and she couldn't escape that as she just barely took in how damaged she still looked.

Emily turned away from the mirror already sniffling and ran into a wall of warmth as arms wrapped instantly around her shoulders as she felt them already shaking and she sunk into him standing behind her.

"Roman, " she breathed, and buried her nose against his throat and under his hair and thanking whoever in the universe just knew that she needed him to have his hair down right now so she could hide herself under it.

"God Beautiful are you okay?" he whispered, running his one hand down her back. His other one stayed locked around her waist, pulling her tight to him and he leaned on the counter and now shifted so she could sit on the counter, and he stood between her legs.

Emily shook her head back and forth, not even moving or saying a word and staying buried in under his hair by his neck. She just needed to be held right now and clung so tight to him. She hadn't even heard him come in or the door to the motel room open or close or anything. He was suddenly just right there, and she could not have been more grateful.

"Just hold me, please," she begged quietly. She felt him nodding beside her head and his arms cradled her tighter. He held her like that for a good few minutes in silence and she could feel his breath deep and heavy by her ear.

He felt cozy she noticed after a few minutes and after clinging so tight, for a while finally realized that he was wearing a soft hoodie and that was what her head had been laying on, on his shoulder the last while as she had been soaking him in, while curled up in the dark room.

His hands had snuck up her shirt, his dress shirt she was still wearing and had been running up and down her back as he held her on the counter. It had been incredibly soothing, and she had moved to lean her head against his, her eyes closed just feeling his fingers move over her skin.

Slowly she lifted her head and looked back at him, and he looked so lost. He had no idea what had scared her so much. She owed him more of an explanation on this and much more.

His head nuzzled hers and his gray eyes were so wide. He looked like he wanted to ask her more, but he waited for her to speak first, and she was so thankful for his patience.

Emily tangled her fingers in his hair and moved to slide off the counter and turned around in his arms, braving facing the mirror once more. "It was this," she nodded to him," indicating their reflection. She could see him behind her looking confused at what she was trying to tell him.

"The mirror," she said again and pointed forward. "I hadn't braved seeing the damage to my face, or any of my body yet. I just hid from the mirrors all day yesterday and it just shocked me to see everything Hunter did and seeing myself like you see me."

Roman was fast shaking his head that she could see in their reflection, and she watched him wrap his arms around her neck from the back, kissing the top of her head. "I don't see you like you think I do," he mumbled, his nose buried in her hair.

She felt kisses and lifted her face to the mirror to see him dip down and lick and suck a path from her ear and across her shoulder and tug the dress shirt to the side to pull the skin in his mouth as far as he could go on her one shoulder. His eyes were watching her from the mirror as she sunk in against him behind her.

"And I am so sorry you think you need to hide at all. So sorry for everything he did to you," Roman said softly. He looked back at her through the mirror and moved his hands, just running his palms up and down her arms. "What do you see when you look back at yourself, or don't you want to yet?' he asked her.

Emily looked back in front of them both. "I see your shirt hiding so much, covering me like it is masking the bruises but they are still there."

She had asked him to take off her shirt in the shower last night and wanted more with him then wanted him to touch and kiss her more.

But now, no. Now she needed to tell him what happened and show him, but this wasn't any kind of time for what she had wanted last night.

He was still standing behind her as she looked in the mirror and she pulled him forward and he half sat on the counter himself with one jean clad leg leaned on it. Emily closed her eyes and opened them again slowly and swallowed her fear, forcing relaxation into her lashes as she stared up at him.

She started unbuttoning it more and watched his eyes widen as his hands were down at his sides until she had it all the way undone and just hanging open on her.

Roman was silent and his eyes moved fast back up to her face just like when she begged him to tear off Hunters red lingerie and he didn't dare disrespect her by looking at it for more than a few seconds. He covered her as fast as he could then too, like even he shouldn't see her like that.

Emily smiled sadly and let the shirt drop to the floor, sliding her arms out of it seeing his eyes locked only to her face. She knew he hadn't seen in her in any kind of lingerie at all and was respecting her, but she smiled and gently pulled his chin down.

"Roman it's okay. I want you to see me like this, touch me, even kiss away the bad memories. I need to tell you more about what happened and why and I want to be brave with you because I trust you and feel safe with you."

She saw him looking like he was unsure, and his hands were shaky as he reached out and ran his palms slowly down her arms. Maybe he thought it was the one safe place he could touch her right now the way she was dressed.

His voice was so quiet when he spoke next. "Beautiful, are you sure? I don't want to make you do anything you are not comfortable with. But I do have to say the pink and the lace looks so sexy on you. Like so hot and I know might feel wrong to say or maybe even really messed up, but I can see past the bruises and cuts and see such a gorgeous strong woman under all that Hunter was trying to destroy in you. You are so much stronger than you think."

Emily felt so in awe of his words to her. She felt stronger. She did. She needed to share her story with him so it would lose its power or the fear she had of him not knowing what he truly had gotten himself into here. She needed to tell him everything.

Emily saw trepidation in his eyes, but she nodded. "Yes, I told you yesterday I needed to tell you why this happened to me. Why he beat me like this. I said it was because I ran away but there is so much more to the story Roman."

She saw him looking at her but definitely keeping his distance too. She turned back to the mirror while he was sitting on the counter beside her. "Hunter always waited till any or all bruises or cuts faded before he beat me again. He said it reminded him of a painting with a fresh canvas to work with every time," she choked out looking back at herself in the mirror.

Roman was listening and now pulled her in closer so she was standing leaning her head on his shoulder as she felt his hand move up and down on her bare back.

She pushed herself to say more. "After you left that night, and I went to bed. I walked by him drunk and passed out on the couch in a girl's arms. Someone half his age or younger. It was disgusting. It always is. But I just walked by and curled up in our bed and tried to sleep."

She lifted her eyes to his and he met her gaze. "Roman I dreamed I was in your arms in my dreams in order to even fall asleep that night. I imagined you holding me and laying behind me just like you did last night and kissing my neck."

Emily nearly gasped as his head bent right then and she saw in the mirror that he had dropped his head to press kisses to her neck and throat as she leaned into his arms. She curled up against him, feeling so warm, loving the softness of his lips on her bare skin.

"I imagined being with you too that night," she heard him whisper between kisses. "I actually tried to sleep and ended up coming back to your place and felt this darkness that something bad was coming and I snuck around your house to see you sleeping in your bed Em. And I saw your husband, the piece of shit that he is, was kissing that teenager before she left too."

Emily lifted her head and he nodded to her. Wow she had no idea. "You were there? How? No never mind."

"You mean how did I not hear him beating you. How come I didn't stop it?" Roman's voice was so soft and steady in the darker room, and she saw his head drop down like he was ashamed, leaning into her hair, his eyes closed.

She nodded slowly.

He let out a deep sigh and his arms came around her nearly naked body. "Oh God Baby girl, I fell asleep from some damn headache meds I took in my car and woke up hours later. My heart breaks knowing I was so close and yet so far away.

It felt like fate that my buddy from your husband's police force was who I was renting from. Thats why I was at the place right beside you and it felt like I was meant to save you from that night, protect you from him but I fell asleep, and I feel like I will never forgive myself for that."

Emily listened to all of that and understood so much more. She turned to him and pressed her lips to his and heard the slightest moan from his mouth. "You did get me out of there Roman. Please don't be mad at yourself that it wasn't fast enough. I don't know what you could have stopped from happening at all anyway."

She stood up more out of his arms, kissing him again and tasting the sweetness of his lips on hers before backing up. Pulling Roman's eyes up to hers and she saw he was listening intently now and not lost in his past mistakes.

Emily continued pushing herself to keep sharing. "I knew he was mad at me for running but it was worse that morning and he burst in the room when I was still fast asleep or trying to sleep hiding from him and wearing his favorite lingerie. I knew he warned me that he would punish me more yet for running away and so I thought by wearing it he might just forget and just come to bed but things got so much worse that I could have imagined.

He apparently got a call that morning that his uncle who was going to leave him everything in his will if he could carry on the family name had passed away last night. He was the only surviving nephew or anyone on that side of the family at all from what I understand but his uncle insisted that he be married and have a son in order to be his beneficiary.

Roman looked confused and his eyes were locked on hers as his palms stroked down her arms again.

"I know, nothing of that makes sense to me too. He rambled on about it for years especially when he was drunk saying he would finally not have to work and get out dealing and suppling and all the crap he already does and the people he controls. All I had to do was give him a son. This uncle was adamant that family legacy continue and Hunter was his only hope of that. His younger brother's kid. The uncle himself never was able to have kids but had this huge company and his name was well known and would just die out when he did if he didn't have someone carry it on."

Emily felt the tears slipping down her face. "So, he stormed into our room that morning after he got that call and screamed at me that it was too late. Dragged me out of the bed and threw me against the dresser, which is how I got the cut on my face from the mirror there." She peeled the taped gauze of the wound and stared at the stitched-up cuts in the mirror.

Roman moved in as she was still talking and brushed the hair back from her cheek and gently kissed around the wound. "God Baby I am so sorry."

Emily clutched his head to hers and breathed him in. She kissed his hair and nuzzled her nose against his cheek. "I know Roman, thank you SO much for being here, for listening, for saving me."

She sucked in a deeper breath and continued. "He wasn't content with the damage from just the dresser mirror and held me by my throat and slammed a vase on my shoulder next. She pointed to the wound there, peeling that bandage off next and looked at it. Somehow with Roman there it was easier to face everything and see the wounds in the mirror rather than alone like before.

"It had flowers in it too before he dumped them. Actual flowers from my mother that I haven't seen in so long and he knew I treasured them. We had a really strained relationship for years, but it's gotten better just the last while and she's been sick, and I think it's changed her or given her a different perspective on me and on life too, so we have been closer than years ago. But he never lets me see her, so flowers from her for my birthday last week were precious. "

Roman's eyes had been down and his fingers stroking the skin by that wound till he heard those last words. "Oh, that is terrible. I am so sorry about things with your mom." His eyes moved up to find hers and he smiled slightly though too. "I didn't know it was your birthday last week either, Beautiful?"

Emily nodded and half smiled as he kissed around her shoulder. "Mmm hmm and my mom got me pink roses which were my favorite, with tiny little baby's breath all mixed in. It looked gorgeous and I looked at it every day."

"I'm sorry I missed your birthday and that you haven't seen your mom for so long. We should do something special to celebrate you yet," he encouraged her, and she smiled more fully at him. Maybe they could try something like that.

"Can we wait with that till we have Livey with us too?" She didn't feel like celebrating, not till she had her baby in her arms.

Roman smiled at that too and nodded. "Sure absolutely. Yes."

She backed up more and pointed to the lower bandage on her belly, before peeling that one off next. All of them were healing needed changing anyway and fresh cream and ointment and to check the stitches. She heard him say it was probably even safe to bath now tonight if she wanted too to soak and relax.

"This one was so bad Roman." Emily was shaking as she tried to force the words past her fear. Maybe he wouldn't want her after this, after everything Hunter screamed at her in that room that morning.

Roman must have felt her shaking and his hands rubbed back and forth on her arms as she saw his eyes leveled at her. "What Em? I promise you nothing you say will change how I feel about you. How much I ... care... about you."

Emily caught the hesitancy in those words like he was going to say something else.

Love. Was he going to say how much he loved her?

She studied his absolutely gorgeous eyes looking back at her and momentarily forgot about the scars she was so scared to share more about. All she saw was her hero unwavering faith in her. Someone believed in her. She barely had faith in herself and this amazing man that crashed into her life, believed in her more than anyone ever had.

Swallowing her fear, knowing she had pushed the door open to her past and had let him in, carefully and slowly she now kicked it opened further in her mind and bravely sat up more and trusted in his words. His caring for her.

She loved him and she was waiting for the right time to tell him too. She knew she did. That almost felt like that right time. Almost. But she wanted to just get the rest of her past out in the open and lay it all out for him like an open book before she said it.

Sharing was feeling so good. Being real and open and honest and feeling heard and seen, all of that felt so good. Emily had been silenced and beaten down and pushed aside and made to feel like nothing for so long that it felt so strange to see someone give her such beautiful undivided attention and focus. Roman wanted to save her from her nightmare and was risking so much to do so and she needed him to know everything in order for them to come up with some kind of plan forward.

She had been so brave already and feeling his fingers tangling in her hair, his soft gray eyes looking so tenderly at her as he pulled her closer in his arms. Emily inhaled deeply and nodded to him.

"Okay, Roman. I trust you. Nothing will change how I feel about you too..."