23rd June 2004
I've come back to Germany and Johnny has gone back to Scotland. I feel so
guilty cause I miss him more than Robert. I have to tell Robert that I
can't go on being with him. He thinks some of the things I do are so
childish like playing videogames. He is a lot older than me and even though
we have shared physical love I know we weren't meant to be. We don't click
or fit or whatever. I will see if its just because I haven't seen him in
ages, I hope its that because I don't want to hurt Robert. I hate myself so
much.