17th September 2004
I've been thinking about Robert's proposal of marriage. I told Oliver, he said Robert would be heart broken. How can I tell him? I don't want to hurt him or loose him. It's just at this moment in our relationship; I don't think we should be thinking about being together forever. I asked my mum and she said I should marry Robert as he is my perfect match. I'm too young to be married!
On a completely unrelated topic, Johnny has a girlfriend. She is such a horrible person, how could anyone be with her? I'm scared cause last night me and Robert didn't use protection. I've taken a pregnancy test and its positive. I'm pregnant. I haven't told anyone and I'm so scared. How do I tell Robert? How can I tell him I don't want to marry him but I'm pregnant with his child! It's still too early to tell if I'm really pregnant, so I will take another test in a few days. I'm so scared and I don't know what to do or who to go to.
One half of me wants to run to Robert saying; Yes, I'll marry you and guess what? We're having a baby! But the other half wants me to run to Johnny saying; I'm not marring Robert, I don't hold his child! I love you! I want to be with you! Why is this happening to me so fast? I'm so confused.