Ahhhh, it's been way too long since I last updated. I am so sorry. But between Christmas shopping, parties, and working double shifts I have not had time to even check my email, much less write. So sorry about the cliffhanger. I really didn't like how I ended the last chapter but I was half asleep when I wrote it. Hopefully this will make up for it. Thanks for the great reviews. Happy reading.

"Randy I have something I need to tell you."

Randy laid in the dark room thinking for a long time after Journey left. He kept replaying their conversation over and over in his head. His stomach clenched as he remembered her words.

Earlier in the day.

"Randy I have something I need to tell you."

Randy frowned in trepidation at the look on her face. "Okay, but if its bad news you have to do something for me to make up for it." He joked trying to lighten the mood.

After several minutes of strained silence she replied. "Randy I'm leaving."

"Hey, I know my joke was in bad taste but you don't have to run off."

"I'm leaving." She repeated, sighing.

"Oh, okay. Hey, if you are coming back tomorrow bring me something good to eat. I can't take much more of the cardboard they serve here." Randy responded, trying not to let his disappointment show.

"Randy, you don't understand. I'm not coming back." Journey told him sadly.

"As in not coming back to the hospital or…." Randy questioned confused.

"I'm moving out." She clarified carefully.

"Where would you go?" Randy asked, not really believing she meant to go.

"Dave offered his place, but I think I want a new start. Show myself I can stand on my own two feet." She paused and smiled softly. "I would really like to go to Boston. John offered me a job at his recording company; you know the one he purchased last year. It would just be a secretarial position but it would be a start."

"What about your job here?" Randy asked frowning.

"I lost it when I took off to take care of you." Journey informed him.

Randy winced at the words, knowing how happy she had been at her job. Quickly he latched onto another subject.

"If this is all about the way I treated you while I was sick, you have to know it was all the illness. I would never do anything like that to you." He implored.

"But you did Randy. You not only treated me like the dirt beneath your heel you put your hands on me. You have to know I would never let another person do that to me."

"I didn't know what I was doing or who I was doing it too. I was delirious." Randy answered, raising his voice as he tried to get through to her.

"Maybe not, but I think if you loved me the way I need you to love me then you would not have done it, regardless of how sick you were." Journey pointed out.

"But I do love you. How can you doubt that?" He asked hopelessly.

"I don't doubt it. But you love me as a best friend or a little sister. Not as the greatest love of your life." She pointed out.

When Randy stared at her in silence she went on. "Have you ever noticed that even though you claim to love me and we have lived under the same roof for the last year, you have never once kissed me on the lips or made any time of sexual advance towards me?"

"I was just trying to let you get over that prick you had been seeing. What he did is not something you can get over in a month." Randy responded, with a slightly confused look on his face.

"No that was the excuse you used. In reality what I needed was for you to show me that I was still lovable." She answered sadly.

"How was I supposed to know that? I can't read females minds and always know what they need." He stated banging his hand on the bed in frustration.

Ignoring her pointed look he continued. "And what about you. You have always claimed to love me. How can you leave if you love me so much?"

Journey got out of her chair and walked to the window, leaning her head against the cold glass. After several minutes she turned and leaned against the sill, raising a hand to wipe the silent tears away.

"What I feel for you is gratitude, friendship, and the love a sister would give the big brother she idolized. Mistakenly I thought that it meant I was in love with you. I needed to have something meaningful in my life and it was you."

"And you don't need it anymore is that it?" He asked sourly.

"I will always need you Randy. You have always been there when I needed you most. But I need more." She told him softly.

"When did you come to these great conclusions?" Randy asked looking away from her.

"This past week, sitting in the waiting room I was scared to death. I was so afraid that I was going to lose you that I was making myself sick. And you know, it wasn't until yesterday that I realized the truth. If I lost you I thought I would lose Dave too, that you two were part of a package. And I was more scared of losing Dave than I was of losing you. Once he assured me that it would never happen I felt alive again." Seeing the look on his face she rushed to assure him. "I never forgot about you or stopped worrying about you but if I truly did love you with all my heart there would have been no room to worry about my relationship with Dave."

"Are you saying you are in love with Dave?" Randy asked closing his eyes against the thought.

"Ewww, no. That is almost incest. You know that even before my father died he was never a father to me. Dave is and I love that about him." She answered smiling now.

"But he means more to you than I do." Randy stated frowning.

Going over to him she sat on the bed and turned him to face her. "Randy you are my best friend and you will always be my best friend. But you know and I know that that is all we are going to be." Kissing him on the cheek she walked to the door. "I am going to be busy trying to get packed and settled but I will come visit you."

Randy was interrupted from his dark thoughts by the ringing of the phone. Grappling in the dark he finally managed to pick up the receiver.

"Hello."

"Yo man you alive?" John's voice came over the line.

"I don't think so." Randy answered despondently.

"Man, they didn't do anything to you in there did they? You still have all your body parts right?" John asked, trying not to laugh.

"Yea why?"

"Man the way you sounded I couldn't be too sure." Came the reply.

Randy grinned faintly into the dark. "John would you be willing to do something for me?"

John heaved a great mock sigh. "Is it going to get me into trouble? Cause you know the last time I did something for you I kinda regretted it."

"Yea I would say this would definitely land you in trouble. But not as hot as the water I will be boiling in." Randy answered grimancing at the thought.

"It's your skin man. Whatcha need." John asked, shaking his head at his friend's foolishness.

"I need some clothes and a car." Randy told him, dead serious.

There was a moment of silence. "Man you are one messed up guy. But hey you're a big boy. If you want to get killed I'll help you break from the prison ward. Not even going to ask why."

"Probably a good thing. Just get here as soon as you can." Randy answered before hanging up the phone.

He laid there for the next ten minutes going over the day's events. Dave and Paul were going to kill him very very slowly. But he had to show Journey that she was wrong and there was only one way he knew how to do it.

Glancing as the clock he sighed in defeat. Sitting up he pulled off the heart monitor, ignoring the racket the machine immediately started making. Pulling the tape off the first IV he was looking for a band aid when the nurse rushed in. Sending him a look she walked over and silenced the alarms on the monitors. Ignoring her he started removing the second IV.

"Planning on going somewhere?" She asked, folding her arms.

"Not that I don't appreciate your fine care and everything you'll have done for me, but I have to leave." He told her.

"Have you talked to your doctor?" She asked, not moving from her position.

"No, but there is an emergency and I have to go home." He said as John walked in with a bag of clothes.

Seeing that he had reinforcements she nodded in defeat. "Fine but you will need to sign an AMA form. It states that you are leaving against medical advice, that we are not responsible for what happens to you. I would recommend that you see your doctor as soon as possible."

Signing the form she had fetched while he dressed, he thanked the nursing staff again and followed John out of the hospital.

Turning to look at his younger friend John shook his head. "Man, you are in deep shit."