Rose Tint my World
By Gingivere the Shadowreaver
~*~*~*~
Chapter Seven
~*~*~*~
"Sw...Sweetheart!"
The arrival of Zhu Rong and the two Shu officers were known throughout the village, as the great Nanman King himself came thundering through the thicket to greet her. She was within his strong, mighty arms in a heartbeat, sputtering as he held her within that bear hug of his. It felt so good to be home...
"Sweetheart, you're alive! I was just about to send an army to get you!"
Struggling for air, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, the woman gasped sarcastically, "Yeah right! And where is this army, eh?"
Meng Huo, her husband and the Nanman King, finally put her down, receiving a playful jab to the gut for it. He would have let her hit him all night if it made her happy, just as long as she was safe and home. Finally, he looked back his wife, to see the two generals, one clad in green armor and the other draped over his shoulders. Instantly, he curled his fists, ready to charge them, "YOU!"
Before he could even move, his wife stood in his way, as she stomped a foot down on his own, stopping in dead in his tracks. "Knock it off! These two men helped me escape!"
Zhao Yun remained silent, allowing the Nanman Queen do the talking for them. Oddly enough, even though he was within dangerous territory, he felt safe here, as long as this woman was there. The King looked at him for a second, before asking, "But weren't they the ones who caught you?"
"Would ya shut up and listen?" He was given another blow, and as Zhu Rong calmed down, she pointed to Zhao Yun, then to Wei Yan. "These two men helped me escape from that Zhuge Liang, and he got injured in the process. Now, you be good and let me take them to Suishi Shu, okay? I'll tell ya everythin' after that okay?"
"That witchdoctor? Whatever you say, sweetheart..."
It was with great relief that Zhu Rong and the two Shu generals were allowed to leave the king, who began to call for preparations for a feast in honor of her safe return. She sighed; she didn't care too much really... not until she was sure that the one who captured and freed her was safe from death's grip. Somehow, as she and Zhao Yun ignored the looks from the Nanman, she felt distant from her own people...
'Don't let it get to you... they'll only be here a little while,' she told herself with a nod, as they finally arrived to the small hut in the coolest part of the village. It wasn't much to look at, Zhao Yun had to admit, however, he made no verbal comment, hoping that whatever witchdoctor that was here could help more than just the physical wounds. Zhu Rong stopped and turned to him, "Stay put..."
He only nodded, watching her go through the drapes of the entrance and disappear into the witchdoctor's home. Wei Yan grew heavy on his tired shoulders, but still, he did not complain. He scooted him up, though, to get a better grip, and he heard Wei Yan's low grunt. As painful as it sounded, it was a relief to hear it...
"Just hang on, Wei Yan. Just a little bit longer, okay?"
Wei Yan could not respond to his words of encouragement, and finally Zhu Rong returned with instant orders, "Give him to me... she'll only allow myself and the injured inside."
Eyeing her, Zhao Yun questioned, "He's heavy... no offense to you by asking, but are you sure you can handle it?"
"I dragged his ass into the cave; I can drag his ass now." She said with an icy glare, and she received no further argument from the general, as he handed him off to her. She could hardly hold him up, but she managed, careful not to touch his tender spots. Looking to Zhao Yun, she pointed with her head. "Stay out here... and pay no attention to what she says, okay? I'll come back with news."
Zhao Yun only nodded, backing off as the Nanman Queen half carried, half-dragged Wei Yan into the hut. Only now did he find it odd that he was even here... had this happened a few years before, he probably would have never allowed himself to live for another second. However, things had changed. He only hoped for the best, even if it meant to go against the great strategist himself.
Was he himself a traitor to Shu, Zhao Yun thought morbidly. So many years of defending Liu Bei with his life to be brought to this, a traitor for having the life of one of his own generals spared. Why did he save him anyway?
Zhao Yun shook his head, not wanting to even think about it. He didn't want to think that he was now Shu's enemy, Zhuge Liang's enemy. He knew what happened to Zhuge Liang's enemies...
~*~*~*~
The scents that Wei Yan woke up to was intoxicating, and it came to the point that he didn't even know if he was awake or not. It was dark, the only color he could see other than black was the green and violet haze that lingered above him, and it was that haze that gave the sweet scent to his nose. He was rather thankful to it though... it took his mind off of the pain of the arrows and the painful memories that tried to unfold in the back of his mind.
"How is he, Doc?"
That voice... Wei Yan looked in the direction of it, but a firm hand forced him to look elsewhere. He did not fight the hand, and he only obeyed as another voice answered it, an old, delicate voice. "The arrows pose no threat... the arrows killing him would have been a relief than anything."
The first voice was Zhu Rong's, Wei Yan could tell, but he had no clue who the second voice was. Once again, he tried to look, but the same hand refused. So, once again, he was staring at the black, violet, and green ceiling, as his eyes began to focus. So, he was not dead...
"No poison in these arrows... but there is some poison residue left from a past attack, snake bite perhaps..."
Zhu Rong boasted, resting a hand on Wei Yan's thigh. "Yeah, but don't worry about that! I took care o' him real good. Sucked it out myself."
"Good girl..." The voice came in a laugh, and a hand waved over his face. It was a crinkle old hand of a woman, with long white nails to contrast the pure darkness of her skin. She had dark skin, just like himself, but he didn't care. This hand was all he could see of the Witchdoctor Suishi Shu, the one that brought him back to life. That hand rested gently on his forehead and face, and that was when Wei Yan realized that he was now mask less... "The man's awake... but only in body. His mind is not all here..."
Did she just insult him?! If Wei Yan was in his right mind, he would have instantly searched for his voulge and slayed her, however, his body would not move. He tried to look at her face, but only a hand laid in his view. "Dark skin... but he is no Nanman. Where did you find him?"
"Long story actually... one that I'm too lazy to tell right now." Zhu Rong admitted, her voice heavenly to Wei Yan's ears in comparison to the old Witchdoctor's. That old woman's voice hurt his sensitive ears so much... he hoped she would shut up soon. That or Zhu Rong could just keep on talking, though that would get annoying after awhile too. "You see, he was the guy that captured me and brought me to the Shu camp-"
"Him?!"
There was mirth in that voice, and once again, Wei Yan tried to turn his head to face the woman but was declined. "Yeah, he looks like a warrior don't he? None too bright, but his fight makes up for it. He's brave to mess with me, I'll give him that!"
Was this the same woman?
"So, tell me, if he's the one that captured you, why did you save him?" the old Witchdoctor asked, and from Wei Yan's observation alone, he could almost see the sly grin that came across her toothless mouth. "Could it be that he captured something else as well?"
That brought an immediate response from the Fire Goddess. "Hey, now what's that suppose to mean? I'm not like that; when I find a man I stick with him, you got that old hag?"
Something touched his face again, and he twitched, realizing it was the old woman's hand. "Oh? Then can I have him? I could use a strong, hefty man to do my chores for me."
"That's disgusting... but if it'll stop with your ridiculous accusations I'll tell you why I saved him. That Zhuge Liang is why I saved him; HE did this to him, and I figured he was only obeying orders when he brought me in." Zhu Rong lied; Wei Yan knew it. He remembered the day he brought her into the camp all too well. Zhuge Liang struck him and berated him for it. Why would she lie for him? "After some sick soldiers tried to rape me, this guy saved me and let me go... but that Zhuge Liang ordered him to pursue and the idiot got himself lost and got bitten by a snake."
"Interesting story... you'll have to tell it to me in detail later, but continue..."
The bed shifted, and Wei Yan figured that Zhu Rong was sitting with her back turned to him and the witchdoctor. How could he tell? His hand rested right next to her rear, and he fought temptation as she continued explaining. "The guy was helpless, so I decided to help him out and save him. You know, to be even? Anyway, that was when that bastard attacked and he shot him good with that damned crossbow of his. Luckily for him, some other dude came in and we got him here..."
"But if you already paid him back for when he was bitten by the snake, then why did you save him twice?" The witchdoctor asked, something that Wei Yan himself wanted to know.
"Because... the other guy asked me to and I couldn't say no, okay?"
It was a lie, to cover her real intentions, but Wei Yan did not know it. He never understood why people would lie to one another, or speak sarcastically. Too confusing for him; too many words to care about. However, the witchdoctor took the hint and pressed the issue no further. "Well, depending on his will, he might be up and about within the day."
Zhu Rong looked back at her, a curious look upon her face. "His will?"
"Yes... you see, if he wants to live and be okay, he'll be up and about before the day is through. However, by the way he's lingering in and out of consciousness, he doesn't seem to wake to do much of anything." The witchdoctor explained, turning away to get some herbs. "He's a troubled man... see if you can talk to the gentleman outside my hut as to why he is what he is."
What choice did she have? The cot moved, and Zhu Rong was gone, leaving Wei Yan alone with the odd woman. What consciousness he had now began to fade away, and once again, he found himself in the blissful slumber that welcomed him.
~*~*~*~
Zhao Yun could not help but overhear everything that went on inside, and he was greatly relieved when Zhu Rong returned and told him of the news. He could see how troubled she was because of her bright blue eyes, but he tried not to pay any attention to it as he thanked her, "Madam, thank you so very much for helping him... I am in your debt."
"Save it for later, whoever you are." Zhu Rong snapped, crossing her arms and looking him over. Quite a man, she thought with a hint of a grin, but she held it down. She may have been devoted to her husband, but looking but not touching was okay. "Look, don't go spreading rumors around; it hurts my reputation."
'Prideful...' Zhao Yun thought, but nevertheless, he nodded. "My name is Zhao Yun, mada-"
She tugged his pony tail, "And don't call me that; it makes me feel old."
"Than what shall I call you?"
"By my name, Zhu Rong. Or Lady Zhu Rong... just not madam..." She replied, releasing the pony tail and circling him once again, making sure his eyes were upon her the whole time. She didn't want a chance of a spy, and she would rather his eyes on her than wondering about. "So, Zhao Yun, why are you here?"
"Ma- I mean, my lady? I am here to help my comrade in arms." Zhao Yun replied, and he guessed his answer wasn't the one she was looking for as she gave a disappointed look. This woman was too strange for him... "Where you looking for another answer besides the truth?"
Raising her bottom lip, she gave a smug look, then replied, "The old witchdoctor says he'll be fine depending on his will to live. You've known this guy for awhile; what do you think of it?"
Zhao Yun gave his reply, "Though... I've worked with him for many years, I can't say that I know him well enough to actually know much about him other than that he was like a son to my late fellow Tiger General Huang Zhong and that our Prime Minister does not care much for him."
"How many years have you worked with him?"
"Well over twenty..."
The look she gave was priceless, and after a long silence, she asked, "And... that's all you know about him?"
He gave a rather bashful look, making her regret the day she married. "I'm afraid so... the only one that knows much about him is Huang Zhong, and as I told you earlier, he died a few years ago..."
"Great, a guy who's been serving with you for twenty years and you know nothing of him..."
Her sarcasm left much to be desired, and Zhao Yun let his eyes wonder, just to make sure that no one could hear or see them. He spoke lowly, "I remember what Huang Zhong told me when I asked about him once... he told me that the 'boy' was found in the woods with no sense of identity and scars beyond belief, from an attack on a village. The northern nation, Wei, had attacked the village; a unit broke from one of the generals and attacked and plundered, killing everyone but the boy that escaped..."
Zhu Rong swore that she could almost envision the events happening if she closed her eyes, and Zhao Yun continued, his voice even softer. "I've never told this to Huang Zhong, in fear of him attacking me, so I lied when he asked me. We, we being my lord, his brother Guan Yu, the prime minister Zhuge Liang, and myself, were aboard the boats to flee from Cao Cao's army, we caught sight of a boy along the banks, full of wounds and crying for us to stop. Liu Bei began to give out the order, but Zhuge Liang opposed... he said the boy could not be saved, that risking the life of our lord and his two finest generals wasn't worth saving him. Guan Yu offered to take Red Hare and swim back, but again, he was declined."
"And you?"
"I had offered, but my lord declined me. I had just returned from saving his own son... he said he couldn't risk losing me, even though he didn't want to forsake the child. The last I saw of that boy, he was limping away into the near by woods, fleeing from some Wei soldiers..."
Zhu Rong bit her thumb, looking down at her feet to avoid his eyes as she now asked, "That boy was him, wasn't it?"
Nodding, Zhao Yun growled, berating himself, "Had I known it was him, I would have stolen Red Hare to retrieve him..."
"But you didn't... when did you realize that was him?"
"The day he walked into the camps after joining us with Huang Zhong. I could not see his face, but the minute he entered the tent, I could see the boy once again, but I dared not say anything." Zhao Yun replied. "I do not know if either Zhuge Liang, my lord Liu Bei, or Guan Yu realized it was him, but I knew."
He turned away, exhaling a sad sigh, "If only I knew..."
Feeling a hand touch his shoulder, he turned around, receiving a harsh slap to the face. As he recoiled, the Fire Goddess sneered, "That's for NOT knowing... and this one is for you to get over it."
"But my lady-"
She was true to her words, laying another one on the other cheek. It had no effect to the Little Dragon, but it was not meant to. Now she glared at him with her bright blue eyes, lighting them with fire as she spoke, "Now, tell me, his will... what do you think?"
Rubbing his cheeks, Zhao Yun shrugged politely, "I can't say... he's as predictable as he is unpredictable. He confused me too much, so I never hung around him, though now I wish I did."
"Hey, don't make me slap you for a third time..."
"I see why men fear you... you remind me of my late lord's third wife."
A glare... "Was that an insult or a compliment."
He grinned, "It's whatever you take it as, my lady. Your will is something that many men lack. You remind me a little of the Wei Yan I know, or knew... no, he never spoke half as much as you, but his will is strong to whatever he wants it to be."
"Oy... now that was an insult. But you meant it well, so I'll spare you for now." Zhu Rong gave a long sigh, looking to the sky and resting her hands on her hips. "Well, to be quite honest, I hope he makes it..."
"Why?" Zhao Yun asked, following her gaze to the new morning sky.
When she answered, Zhao Yun laughed, "Because, my husband's going to think it's weird that I came home with two men... he's going to start wondering exactly WHAT I've been doing at your camp..."
~*~*~*~
The mist that lingered above him and the hand that hovered were the only things that welcomed Wei Yan as he opened his eyes once again. His body seemed numbed from the drugs that this witchdoctor gave him, so, for once, he could lay straight with no pain at all. He felt nothing, and, tried as he might, he could not move his limbs, not even as strong as he was.
Relief swept over him; at least there was no pain. If no one was there for him, at least pain was there. It gave him reminders of his past and kept him knowing that he was still alive, in spite of what injuries he had dealt with before. It gave him hope, in a way that he almost welcomed the pain. If he had survived this far, then perhaps nothing could kill him!
"Wei Yan... that is not your original name..." the witchdoctor said, her hand wavering ever so slightly and the laced bands around her wrist catching Wei Yan's attention. So beautiful were the colors, and he was distracted from what the other hand was doing. "No, a name given to you by the ones that took you in after the attack, correct?"
No words would form, but he did not need to answer her, for she already knew it. She waved her hand over his maskless face once more, as if to try and gently pry the information from his head. "Not much is there now, memories of war, violence, hatred... you're no innocent in the field of battle."
How could one be innocent in this day and age? This was war, and someone had to stand and fight. However, now, as he laid there, motionless and hypnotized by that dancing hand, Wei Yan wondered why he even set foot into the battlefield now. He first did it, to join along with Huang Zhong, to prove that the old man didn't pick up a failure in those woods. At first he wanted approval, but after awhile, it became his way of life.
"Why?"
Why, Wei Yan thought, giving the woman a blank stare, not realizing she had practically read his mind. Why not? In battle, he could raise his voulge and slay a man standing apart from him, not caring who he was or why he rose his sword against him. It was where he released himself, released the anger and inflict the pain that he himself felt so much in his life. It was the one place he belonged, the one place that he felt above all others. The battlefield was his refuge... his home, his escape...
That made the woman laugh, "Escape from who?"
"Zhuge... Liang..." Wei Yan choked the words with venom, clenching his teeth but not budging an inch. Yes, to escape that man's constant ridicule, his cruel words, his mocking smile. He hated this man with a passion; from the first time he saw him, he knew that this was to be his rival, his enemy. Again, he spoke the name with such venom that it hurt him to even mutter the words. "Zhuge Liang..."
She saw him wince, and as her fingers traced his face, his pain went away for a few seconds. "Hush now... the man that you loathe shall no longer cause you pain. You... should forget him."
How could one do that, Wei Yan thought, tears beginning to force their way through his now closed eyelids. No, he stopped himself, desperately holding back the tears, though the witchdoctor could already see the pure pain in his eyes. He was fighting down memories, but she could not let that happen, not just yet. "But why are you like this? What has transformed a man into this blood-crazed warrior I see before me?"
Wei Yan didn't have to tell her his story; she could see it through her own eyes now. As strange as it seemed, it was as if she was in his mind now, watching the memories as if it were her own. Wei Yan wouldn't have mind if he wasn't forced to sit through them again, and he gave a grunt. "Stop..."
But they did not... in a flash, he could see himself raising the sword, just as he would have raised a garden tool to work on the pathetic looking field that he had shared with a few nameless neighbors. He sliced through the soldiers, just as they had done to his mother, and he left none alive. Again, he begged. "Stop..."
Running along the bank, waving, crying to the men on the boats to come for him. He begged for them to stop, but the most they did was look back at him with sympathetic eyes, as if they wished to do so but could not bring themselves to do it. However, only now did he recognize those men, seeing them through new eyes and he whispered softly, "Stop..."
But no one did. Not Liu Bei! Not Guan Yu! Not even Zhao Yun! Why? Why had they not stopped for him? Oh, he knew why Zhuge Liang would not stop, as he swore he could see that man almost grinning, to mock him. He was the reason they did not stop...
"Zhuge Liang! Zhuge-"
The witchdoctor, whose other hand stroked his own to calm him into silence, hushed him. "Silence."
And he obeyed, as more memories returned to him, seeing himself under Huang Zhong's watch, following the man as if he were his own father. He was as silent as a newborn, walking around in his odd stance, only doing what the veteran told him to do. He trained with him, joined in with whatever activities as he could with this man to avoid anyone else. He was mocked, ridiculed, spat upon by others, but not this man. Not Huang Zhong...
"Where is this man now?" The witchdoctor asked, forcing the memory out of the general's mind. "Dead..."
Yes, he was dead. Wei Yan was the first to hear the news, but he was the last one there. He couldn't remember the details, but he knew enough to know that Liu Bei had raged war against Wu for the deaths of his brothers. To be honest, Wei Yan could not care; let those two die. They never cared for him, and he could not care back, especially Guan Yu. However, being stationed in a place away from the war bothered Wei Yan... how he wished for a fight!
Then the news came about Huang Zhong running off into battle, and, dropping his post, Wei Yan went to join him, ignoring Zhuge Liang's warning as he mounted his black steed and rushed towards Yi Ling. But he was too late... by the time he had arrived, the one man he cared for, the one man that treated him as a human being, was dead.
Oh, the image alone was horrible. He could see the man laying there, blood finally showing signs of stopping from his arrow wound, his face almost peaceful. He had gone down fighting, and that was one thing that Wei Yan knew the man wanted. 'My days are numbered, Wei Yan...'
The general stopped from what he was doing, to look up at the old warrior. He remembered him telling him this on a spring night, just a few nights before Zhuge Liang stationed Wei Yan to guard the Hanzhong district. He could see Huang Zhong looking towards the heavens, giving a rather defiant look to counter Wei Yan's look of confusion. He repeated himself, 'My days are numbered, Wei Yan...'
Huang Zhong would never say that, Wei Yan thought, and he would have given a grin if he could cover up the doubt of it being a joke. Was he serious?
'I want peace as much as the next person, but... if there is one thing I want, it's to die on the battlefield.' Huang Zhong told him, looking down at Wei Yan with an odd sparkle in his eyes, as if to deny his age. 'I never really feared anything in my life, but now I do. I fear dying as an old man and not as a general should die.'
Oh, how Wei Yan wished he could have come up with words back then! Back then, he figured Huang Zhong was messing with him, joking about death. Huang Zhong couldn't die... to Wei Yan, he was someone that COULDN'T die!
But he was, and in front of Liu Bei, he did something that no one but Huang Zhong had seen before. He held Huang Zhong within his lap, bringing the old man's head to his chest and holding him within an embrace. And through the mask came his tears, so obvious to be seen on his dark face in the morning light. No one but Huang Zhong had ever seen him cry before, but now he did, trying so hard to hold them back but failing miserably. Huang Zhong was dead... and no one could comfort him.
And now, to his horror, he could feel his tears streaming down his dirty face now. These memories hurt so much, and, as much as he tried, they could not stop now. What was this woman doing to him?! He forced his arms up, gripping her by the throat and throwing her away from him by pure instincts alone. "STOP!"
Against the medicine, against the very will of nature, he rose from the bed, raising to his feet and glaring at the odd Nanman woman now as she backed away. Pain shot throughout his body the moment he stood up straight, but he did not cry out in pain. He held it down as he went to attack her, "STOP!!!"
Immediately, Zhao Yun was there to stop him, making the mistake of gripping him by the waist and holding him down. Now the man cried out, and he turned his fury upon Zhao Yun, his words jumbled together in a mess that no one could possibly translate. Even the Little Dragon had trouble defending himself, as he tried to calm his fellow comrade down. "Wei Yan! Wei Yan! Stop this!"
"You not stopped... you never stopped!" Wei Yan shouted back, his unmasked face twisted with fury. Zhao Yun could not help but look at him now, seeing no battle scars, no deformed skin or features, but the face of a man, normal yet unique in its own way. "No one stopped... for Wei Yan!"
"Wei Yan, please, try to understand!" Zhao Yun pleaded, trying to overpower the man to calm him down. Now, more than ever, he wished that Huang Zhong was here. "Back then we could not stop! Countless pleas were given to return to shore to retrieve you by Guan Yu and I, but we were denied... Wei Yan, please... forgive me!"
However, Wei Yan struck him, and a fight between the two broke out, as the old witchdoctor fled from her tent in fear. Zhao Yun did not wish for this, but he fought back, to defend himself from the man's blind rage. Huang Zhong was not there to stop him, but it didn't matter now! This had to stop!
Throwing him against the table and shattering whatever concoctions the old woman was working on in an instant, Zhao Yun tried to control him, but to no avail. His strength alone could not help him now, as Wei Yan overpowered him, driving his legs into his gut and sending him over and onto the floor. "I forgive... none! Why?!"
That was a question that Zhao Yun could not answer, but luckily for him, Zhu Rong jumped in between the two, gripping a new set of daggers as Wei Yan spun to face her. Their eyes locked momentarily, and she spoke firm, "Hold it big guy... no need to be letting out that anger on your fellow man, especially if he helped save your life."
"He left me... all... left me!"
He moved closer, but she reeled back her hand, freezing him as she wore a determined look. "But... he did not leave you to die a few hours ago. Nor will he leave you now..."
It was like staring a rapid beast to the face, standing between him and his prey, and Zhu Rong had to admit that she never felt so terrified in her life. To see his rage, his pain and anger, his sorrow, all trapped within his dark black eyes. She could feel his pain, as if it was a part of her now, but she tried to hold back her own cry, to keep her brave appearance in front of him. If she had to be strong, then it would be for him.
And Wei Yan stopped, restraining the anger within him and taken a few steps back, as if afraid of her now. He could not see the look of sorrow on Zhao Yun's face, nor see the witch doctor trying to flee behind the woman. All he saw was her cold yet blazing blue eyes and glossy blonde hair... his mother once had blonde hair, and she wore that same look on her face before the men had slayed her...
She did this to protect him...
Even now he could hear her fatal cry piercing through his ears, and he brought his hands to cover them, uttering only a whimper. In an instant, the raging beast was on his knees, grasping his head, and he cried out, "MOTHER!"
And now he could almost feel her warm, loving hands, caressing his scarred, weary shoulders, holding him in an embrace that she and only she could hold. But when he rose his gaze, it was not his mother who held him, but Zhu Rong, and he could see the crystal tears that streamed down her face. Had her husband or brother had been there, they would have fainted from the shock... these were the first tears in her life that she had shed. And there they were, dancing in her fiery blue eyes and trailing down her rosy cheeks. "She's gone, big guy... but you're not alone, you got that? You never were alone... nor will you ever be again. You understand me, knucklehead?"
For the first time in his life, another woman touched Wei Yan, and he welcomed it, as all he could do was nod. It hurt too much to utter a word or cry, and he rested his weary head onto her chest, finding comfort in her soft, gentle skin. He could not care if anyone watched them, but as he rose his hands, to see if he could return the hug that he would give to his mother so many years ago, he smiled. Though aged and much more well built than his childhood, he could hold her the very same...
And how he missed that loving embrace... so many painful years of neglecting it, of forgetting the warmth it brought to his body, heart and soul. He had loved Huang Zhong like a father, but he could never hold him like this, like he would have with his mother. And no other woman dared venture towards him or open themselves up to him to offer him the comfort that their hugs brought. This was all he wanted... was another woman's embrace, warmth, and love.
So, as he held her, he gave a deep, long moan, and she allowed his tears to dampen her chest and clothes, only holding him closer to her as if to try to squeeze all the years of pain out of him. She cried too, but nothing could match the velocity of the tears or moaning sobs that the warrior had done.
And Zhao Yun watched, hardly able to hold back his own tears... he gave a sad sigh, to see anyone brought to this. 'Oh... Wei Yan... if I had only known...'
He turned his gaze away, unable to stand it, as he muttered to himself. 'Master Zhuge Liang... if only you could see this, then you would be in tears too...'
By Gingivere the Shadowreaver
~*~*~*~
Chapter Seven
~*~*~*~
"Sw...Sweetheart!"
The arrival of Zhu Rong and the two Shu officers were known throughout the village, as the great Nanman King himself came thundering through the thicket to greet her. She was within his strong, mighty arms in a heartbeat, sputtering as he held her within that bear hug of his. It felt so good to be home...
"Sweetheart, you're alive! I was just about to send an army to get you!"
Struggling for air, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, the woman gasped sarcastically, "Yeah right! And where is this army, eh?"
Meng Huo, her husband and the Nanman King, finally put her down, receiving a playful jab to the gut for it. He would have let her hit him all night if it made her happy, just as long as she was safe and home. Finally, he looked back his wife, to see the two generals, one clad in green armor and the other draped over his shoulders. Instantly, he curled his fists, ready to charge them, "YOU!"
Before he could even move, his wife stood in his way, as she stomped a foot down on his own, stopping in dead in his tracks. "Knock it off! These two men helped me escape!"
Zhao Yun remained silent, allowing the Nanman Queen do the talking for them. Oddly enough, even though he was within dangerous territory, he felt safe here, as long as this woman was there. The King looked at him for a second, before asking, "But weren't they the ones who caught you?"
"Would ya shut up and listen?" He was given another blow, and as Zhu Rong calmed down, she pointed to Zhao Yun, then to Wei Yan. "These two men helped me escape from that Zhuge Liang, and he got injured in the process. Now, you be good and let me take them to Suishi Shu, okay? I'll tell ya everythin' after that okay?"
"That witchdoctor? Whatever you say, sweetheart..."
It was with great relief that Zhu Rong and the two Shu generals were allowed to leave the king, who began to call for preparations for a feast in honor of her safe return. She sighed; she didn't care too much really... not until she was sure that the one who captured and freed her was safe from death's grip. Somehow, as she and Zhao Yun ignored the looks from the Nanman, she felt distant from her own people...
'Don't let it get to you... they'll only be here a little while,' she told herself with a nod, as they finally arrived to the small hut in the coolest part of the village. It wasn't much to look at, Zhao Yun had to admit, however, he made no verbal comment, hoping that whatever witchdoctor that was here could help more than just the physical wounds. Zhu Rong stopped and turned to him, "Stay put..."
He only nodded, watching her go through the drapes of the entrance and disappear into the witchdoctor's home. Wei Yan grew heavy on his tired shoulders, but still, he did not complain. He scooted him up, though, to get a better grip, and he heard Wei Yan's low grunt. As painful as it sounded, it was a relief to hear it...
"Just hang on, Wei Yan. Just a little bit longer, okay?"
Wei Yan could not respond to his words of encouragement, and finally Zhu Rong returned with instant orders, "Give him to me... she'll only allow myself and the injured inside."
Eyeing her, Zhao Yun questioned, "He's heavy... no offense to you by asking, but are you sure you can handle it?"
"I dragged his ass into the cave; I can drag his ass now." She said with an icy glare, and she received no further argument from the general, as he handed him off to her. She could hardly hold him up, but she managed, careful not to touch his tender spots. Looking to Zhao Yun, she pointed with her head. "Stay out here... and pay no attention to what she says, okay? I'll come back with news."
Zhao Yun only nodded, backing off as the Nanman Queen half carried, half-dragged Wei Yan into the hut. Only now did he find it odd that he was even here... had this happened a few years before, he probably would have never allowed himself to live for another second. However, things had changed. He only hoped for the best, even if it meant to go against the great strategist himself.
Was he himself a traitor to Shu, Zhao Yun thought morbidly. So many years of defending Liu Bei with his life to be brought to this, a traitor for having the life of one of his own generals spared. Why did he save him anyway?
Zhao Yun shook his head, not wanting to even think about it. He didn't want to think that he was now Shu's enemy, Zhuge Liang's enemy. He knew what happened to Zhuge Liang's enemies...
~*~*~*~
The scents that Wei Yan woke up to was intoxicating, and it came to the point that he didn't even know if he was awake or not. It was dark, the only color he could see other than black was the green and violet haze that lingered above him, and it was that haze that gave the sweet scent to his nose. He was rather thankful to it though... it took his mind off of the pain of the arrows and the painful memories that tried to unfold in the back of his mind.
"How is he, Doc?"
That voice... Wei Yan looked in the direction of it, but a firm hand forced him to look elsewhere. He did not fight the hand, and he only obeyed as another voice answered it, an old, delicate voice. "The arrows pose no threat... the arrows killing him would have been a relief than anything."
The first voice was Zhu Rong's, Wei Yan could tell, but he had no clue who the second voice was. Once again, he tried to look, but the same hand refused. So, once again, he was staring at the black, violet, and green ceiling, as his eyes began to focus. So, he was not dead...
"No poison in these arrows... but there is some poison residue left from a past attack, snake bite perhaps..."
Zhu Rong boasted, resting a hand on Wei Yan's thigh. "Yeah, but don't worry about that! I took care o' him real good. Sucked it out myself."
"Good girl..." The voice came in a laugh, and a hand waved over his face. It was a crinkle old hand of a woman, with long white nails to contrast the pure darkness of her skin. She had dark skin, just like himself, but he didn't care. This hand was all he could see of the Witchdoctor Suishi Shu, the one that brought him back to life. That hand rested gently on his forehead and face, and that was when Wei Yan realized that he was now mask less... "The man's awake... but only in body. His mind is not all here..."
Did she just insult him?! If Wei Yan was in his right mind, he would have instantly searched for his voulge and slayed her, however, his body would not move. He tried to look at her face, but only a hand laid in his view. "Dark skin... but he is no Nanman. Where did you find him?"
"Long story actually... one that I'm too lazy to tell right now." Zhu Rong admitted, her voice heavenly to Wei Yan's ears in comparison to the old Witchdoctor's. That old woman's voice hurt his sensitive ears so much... he hoped she would shut up soon. That or Zhu Rong could just keep on talking, though that would get annoying after awhile too. "You see, he was the guy that captured me and brought me to the Shu camp-"
"Him?!"
There was mirth in that voice, and once again, Wei Yan tried to turn his head to face the woman but was declined. "Yeah, he looks like a warrior don't he? None too bright, but his fight makes up for it. He's brave to mess with me, I'll give him that!"
Was this the same woman?
"So, tell me, if he's the one that captured you, why did you save him?" the old Witchdoctor asked, and from Wei Yan's observation alone, he could almost see the sly grin that came across her toothless mouth. "Could it be that he captured something else as well?"
That brought an immediate response from the Fire Goddess. "Hey, now what's that suppose to mean? I'm not like that; when I find a man I stick with him, you got that old hag?"
Something touched his face again, and he twitched, realizing it was the old woman's hand. "Oh? Then can I have him? I could use a strong, hefty man to do my chores for me."
"That's disgusting... but if it'll stop with your ridiculous accusations I'll tell you why I saved him. That Zhuge Liang is why I saved him; HE did this to him, and I figured he was only obeying orders when he brought me in." Zhu Rong lied; Wei Yan knew it. He remembered the day he brought her into the camp all too well. Zhuge Liang struck him and berated him for it. Why would she lie for him? "After some sick soldiers tried to rape me, this guy saved me and let me go... but that Zhuge Liang ordered him to pursue and the idiot got himself lost and got bitten by a snake."
"Interesting story... you'll have to tell it to me in detail later, but continue..."
The bed shifted, and Wei Yan figured that Zhu Rong was sitting with her back turned to him and the witchdoctor. How could he tell? His hand rested right next to her rear, and he fought temptation as she continued explaining. "The guy was helpless, so I decided to help him out and save him. You know, to be even? Anyway, that was when that bastard attacked and he shot him good with that damned crossbow of his. Luckily for him, some other dude came in and we got him here..."
"But if you already paid him back for when he was bitten by the snake, then why did you save him twice?" The witchdoctor asked, something that Wei Yan himself wanted to know.
"Because... the other guy asked me to and I couldn't say no, okay?"
It was a lie, to cover her real intentions, but Wei Yan did not know it. He never understood why people would lie to one another, or speak sarcastically. Too confusing for him; too many words to care about. However, the witchdoctor took the hint and pressed the issue no further. "Well, depending on his will, he might be up and about within the day."
Zhu Rong looked back at her, a curious look upon her face. "His will?"
"Yes... you see, if he wants to live and be okay, he'll be up and about before the day is through. However, by the way he's lingering in and out of consciousness, he doesn't seem to wake to do much of anything." The witchdoctor explained, turning away to get some herbs. "He's a troubled man... see if you can talk to the gentleman outside my hut as to why he is what he is."
What choice did she have? The cot moved, and Zhu Rong was gone, leaving Wei Yan alone with the odd woman. What consciousness he had now began to fade away, and once again, he found himself in the blissful slumber that welcomed him.
~*~*~*~
Zhao Yun could not help but overhear everything that went on inside, and he was greatly relieved when Zhu Rong returned and told him of the news. He could see how troubled she was because of her bright blue eyes, but he tried not to pay any attention to it as he thanked her, "Madam, thank you so very much for helping him... I am in your debt."
"Save it for later, whoever you are." Zhu Rong snapped, crossing her arms and looking him over. Quite a man, she thought with a hint of a grin, but she held it down. She may have been devoted to her husband, but looking but not touching was okay. "Look, don't go spreading rumors around; it hurts my reputation."
'Prideful...' Zhao Yun thought, but nevertheless, he nodded. "My name is Zhao Yun, mada-"
She tugged his pony tail, "And don't call me that; it makes me feel old."
"Than what shall I call you?"
"By my name, Zhu Rong. Or Lady Zhu Rong... just not madam..." She replied, releasing the pony tail and circling him once again, making sure his eyes were upon her the whole time. She didn't want a chance of a spy, and she would rather his eyes on her than wondering about. "So, Zhao Yun, why are you here?"
"Ma- I mean, my lady? I am here to help my comrade in arms." Zhao Yun replied, and he guessed his answer wasn't the one she was looking for as she gave a disappointed look. This woman was too strange for him... "Where you looking for another answer besides the truth?"
Raising her bottom lip, she gave a smug look, then replied, "The old witchdoctor says he'll be fine depending on his will to live. You've known this guy for awhile; what do you think of it?"
Zhao Yun gave his reply, "Though... I've worked with him for many years, I can't say that I know him well enough to actually know much about him other than that he was like a son to my late fellow Tiger General Huang Zhong and that our Prime Minister does not care much for him."
"How many years have you worked with him?"
"Well over twenty..."
The look she gave was priceless, and after a long silence, she asked, "And... that's all you know about him?"
He gave a rather bashful look, making her regret the day she married. "I'm afraid so... the only one that knows much about him is Huang Zhong, and as I told you earlier, he died a few years ago..."
"Great, a guy who's been serving with you for twenty years and you know nothing of him..."
Her sarcasm left much to be desired, and Zhao Yun let his eyes wonder, just to make sure that no one could hear or see them. He spoke lowly, "I remember what Huang Zhong told me when I asked about him once... he told me that the 'boy' was found in the woods with no sense of identity and scars beyond belief, from an attack on a village. The northern nation, Wei, had attacked the village; a unit broke from one of the generals and attacked and plundered, killing everyone but the boy that escaped..."
Zhu Rong swore that she could almost envision the events happening if she closed her eyes, and Zhao Yun continued, his voice even softer. "I've never told this to Huang Zhong, in fear of him attacking me, so I lied when he asked me. We, we being my lord, his brother Guan Yu, the prime minister Zhuge Liang, and myself, were aboard the boats to flee from Cao Cao's army, we caught sight of a boy along the banks, full of wounds and crying for us to stop. Liu Bei began to give out the order, but Zhuge Liang opposed... he said the boy could not be saved, that risking the life of our lord and his two finest generals wasn't worth saving him. Guan Yu offered to take Red Hare and swim back, but again, he was declined."
"And you?"
"I had offered, but my lord declined me. I had just returned from saving his own son... he said he couldn't risk losing me, even though he didn't want to forsake the child. The last I saw of that boy, he was limping away into the near by woods, fleeing from some Wei soldiers..."
Zhu Rong bit her thumb, looking down at her feet to avoid his eyes as she now asked, "That boy was him, wasn't it?"
Nodding, Zhao Yun growled, berating himself, "Had I known it was him, I would have stolen Red Hare to retrieve him..."
"But you didn't... when did you realize that was him?"
"The day he walked into the camps after joining us with Huang Zhong. I could not see his face, but the minute he entered the tent, I could see the boy once again, but I dared not say anything." Zhao Yun replied. "I do not know if either Zhuge Liang, my lord Liu Bei, or Guan Yu realized it was him, but I knew."
He turned away, exhaling a sad sigh, "If only I knew..."
Feeling a hand touch his shoulder, he turned around, receiving a harsh slap to the face. As he recoiled, the Fire Goddess sneered, "That's for NOT knowing... and this one is for you to get over it."
"But my lady-"
She was true to her words, laying another one on the other cheek. It had no effect to the Little Dragon, but it was not meant to. Now she glared at him with her bright blue eyes, lighting them with fire as she spoke, "Now, tell me, his will... what do you think?"
Rubbing his cheeks, Zhao Yun shrugged politely, "I can't say... he's as predictable as he is unpredictable. He confused me too much, so I never hung around him, though now I wish I did."
"Hey, don't make me slap you for a third time..."
"I see why men fear you... you remind me of my late lord's third wife."
A glare... "Was that an insult or a compliment."
He grinned, "It's whatever you take it as, my lady. Your will is something that many men lack. You remind me a little of the Wei Yan I know, or knew... no, he never spoke half as much as you, but his will is strong to whatever he wants it to be."
"Oy... now that was an insult. But you meant it well, so I'll spare you for now." Zhu Rong gave a long sigh, looking to the sky and resting her hands on her hips. "Well, to be quite honest, I hope he makes it..."
"Why?" Zhao Yun asked, following her gaze to the new morning sky.
When she answered, Zhao Yun laughed, "Because, my husband's going to think it's weird that I came home with two men... he's going to start wondering exactly WHAT I've been doing at your camp..."
~*~*~*~
The mist that lingered above him and the hand that hovered were the only things that welcomed Wei Yan as he opened his eyes once again. His body seemed numbed from the drugs that this witchdoctor gave him, so, for once, he could lay straight with no pain at all. He felt nothing, and, tried as he might, he could not move his limbs, not even as strong as he was.
Relief swept over him; at least there was no pain. If no one was there for him, at least pain was there. It gave him reminders of his past and kept him knowing that he was still alive, in spite of what injuries he had dealt with before. It gave him hope, in a way that he almost welcomed the pain. If he had survived this far, then perhaps nothing could kill him!
"Wei Yan... that is not your original name..." the witchdoctor said, her hand wavering ever so slightly and the laced bands around her wrist catching Wei Yan's attention. So beautiful were the colors, and he was distracted from what the other hand was doing. "No, a name given to you by the ones that took you in after the attack, correct?"
No words would form, but he did not need to answer her, for she already knew it. She waved her hand over his maskless face once more, as if to try and gently pry the information from his head. "Not much is there now, memories of war, violence, hatred... you're no innocent in the field of battle."
How could one be innocent in this day and age? This was war, and someone had to stand and fight. However, now, as he laid there, motionless and hypnotized by that dancing hand, Wei Yan wondered why he even set foot into the battlefield now. He first did it, to join along with Huang Zhong, to prove that the old man didn't pick up a failure in those woods. At first he wanted approval, but after awhile, it became his way of life.
"Why?"
Why, Wei Yan thought, giving the woman a blank stare, not realizing she had practically read his mind. Why not? In battle, he could raise his voulge and slay a man standing apart from him, not caring who he was or why he rose his sword against him. It was where he released himself, released the anger and inflict the pain that he himself felt so much in his life. It was the one place he belonged, the one place that he felt above all others. The battlefield was his refuge... his home, his escape...
That made the woman laugh, "Escape from who?"
"Zhuge... Liang..." Wei Yan choked the words with venom, clenching his teeth but not budging an inch. Yes, to escape that man's constant ridicule, his cruel words, his mocking smile. He hated this man with a passion; from the first time he saw him, he knew that this was to be his rival, his enemy. Again, he spoke the name with such venom that it hurt him to even mutter the words. "Zhuge Liang..."
She saw him wince, and as her fingers traced his face, his pain went away for a few seconds. "Hush now... the man that you loathe shall no longer cause you pain. You... should forget him."
How could one do that, Wei Yan thought, tears beginning to force their way through his now closed eyelids. No, he stopped himself, desperately holding back the tears, though the witchdoctor could already see the pure pain in his eyes. He was fighting down memories, but she could not let that happen, not just yet. "But why are you like this? What has transformed a man into this blood-crazed warrior I see before me?"
Wei Yan didn't have to tell her his story; she could see it through her own eyes now. As strange as it seemed, it was as if she was in his mind now, watching the memories as if it were her own. Wei Yan wouldn't have mind if he wasn't forced to sit through them again, and he gave a grunt. "Stop..."
But they did not... in a flash, he could see himself raising the sword, just as he would have raised a garden tool to work on the pathetic looking field that he had shared with a few nameless neighbors. He sliced through the soldiers, just as they had done to his mother, and he left none alive. Again, he begged. "Stop..."
Running along the bank, waving, crying to the men on the boats to come for him. He begged for them to stop, but the most they did was look back at him with sympathetic eyes, as if they wished to do so but could not bring themselves to do it. However, only now did he recognize those men, seeing them through new eyes and he whispered softly, "Stop..."
But no one did. Not Liu Bei! Not Guan Yu! Not even Zhao Yun! Why? Why had they not stopped for him? Oh, he knew why Zhuge Liang would not stop, as he swore he could see that man almost grinning, to mock him. He was the reason they did not stop...
"Zhuge Liang! Zhuge-"
The witchdoctor, whose other hand stroked his own to calm him into silence, hushed him. "Silence."
And he obeyed, as more memories returned to him, seeing himself under Huang Zhong's watch, following the man as if he were his own father. He was as silent as a newborn, walking around in his odd stance, only doing what the veteran told him to do. He trained with him, joined in with whatever activities as he could with this man to avoid anyone else. He was mocked, ridiculed, spat upon by others, but not this man. Not Huang Zhong...
"Where is this man now?" The witchdoctor asked, forcing the memory out of the general's mind. "Dead..."
Yes, he was dead. Wei Yan was the first to hear the news, but he was the last one there. He couldn't remember the details, but he knew enough to know that Liu Bei had raged war against Wu for the deaths of his brothers. To be honest, Wei Yan could not care; let those two die. They never cared for him, and he could not care back, especially Guan Yu. However, being stationed in a place away from the war bothered Wei Yan... how he wished for a fight!
Then the news came about Huang Zhong running off into battle, and, dropping his post, Wei Yan went to join him, ignoring Zhuge Liang's warning as he mounted his black steed and rushed towards Yi Ling. But he was too late... by the time he had arrived, the one man he cared for, the one man that treated him as a human being, was dead.
Oh, the image alone was horrible. He could see the man laying there, blood finally showing signs of stopping from his arrow wound, his face almost peaceful. He had gone down fighting, and that was one thing that Wei Yan knew the man wanted. 'My days are numbered, Wei Yan...'
The general stopped from what he was doing, to look up at the old warrior. He remembered him telling him this on a spring night, just a few nights before Zhuge Liang stationed Wei Yan to guard the Hanzhong district. He could see Huang Zhong looking towards the heavens, giving a rather defiant look to counter Wei Yan's look of confusion. He repeated himself, 'My days are numbered, Wei Yan...'
Huang Zhong would never say that, Wei Yan thought, and he would have given a grin if he could cover up the doubt of it being a joke. Was he serious?
'I want peace as much as the next person, but... if there is one thing I want, it's to die on the battlefield.' Huang Zhong told him, looking down at Wei Yan with an odd sparkle in his eyes, as if to deny his age. 'I never really feared anything in my life, but now I do. I fear dying as an old man and not as a general should die.'
Oh, how Wei Yan wished he could have come up with words back then! Back then, he figured Huang Zhong was messing with him, joking about death. Huang Zhong couldn't die... to Wei Yan, he was someone that COULDN'T die!
But he was, and in front of Liu Bei, he did something that no one but Huang Zhong had seen before. He held Huang Zhong within his lap, bringing the old man's head to his chest and holding him within an embrace. And through the mask came his tears, so obvious to be seen on his dark face in the morning light. No one but Huang Zhong had ever seen him cry before, but now he did, trying so hard to hold them back but failing miserably. Huang Zhong was dead... and no one could comfort him.
And now, to his horror, he could feel his tears streaming down his dirty face now. These memories hurt so much, and, as much as he tried, they could not stop now. What was this woman doing to him?! He forced his arms up, gripping her by the throat and throwing her away from him by pure instincts alone. "STOP!"
Against the medicine, against the very will of nature, he rose from the bed, raising to his feet and glaring at the odd Nanman woman now as she backed away. Pain shot throughout his body the moment he stood up straight, but he did not cry out in pain. He held it down as he went to attack her, "STOP!!!"
Immediately, Zhao Yun was there to stop him, making the mistake of gripping him by the waist and holding him down. Now the man cried out, and he turned his fury upon Zhao Yun, his words jumbled together in a mess that no one could possibly translate. Even the Little Dragon had trouble defending himself, as he tried to calm his fellow comrade down. "Wei Yan! Wei Yan! Stop this!"
"You not stopped... you never stopped!" Wei Yan shouted back, his unmasked face twisted with fury. Zhao Yun could not help but look at him now, seeing no battle scars, no deformed skin or features, but the face of a man, normal yet unique in its own way. "No one stopped... for Wei Yan!"
"Wei Yan, please, try to understand!" Zhao Yun pleaded, trying to overpower the man to calm him down. Now, more than ever, he wished that Huang Zhong was here. "Back then we could not stop! Countless pleas were given to return to shore to retrieve you by Guan Yu and I, but we were denied... Wei Yan, please... forgive me!"
However, Wei Yan struck him, and a fight between the two broke out, as the old witchdoctor fled from her tent in fear. Zhao Yun did not wish for this, but he fought back, to defend himself from the man's blind rage. Huang Zhong was not there to stop him, but it didn't matter now! This had to stop!
Throwing him against the table and shattering whatever concoctions the old woman was working on in an instant, Zhao Yun tried to control him, but to no avail. His strength alone could not help him now, as Wei Yan overpowered him, driving his legs into his gut and sending him over and onto the floor. "I forgive... none! Why?!"
That was a question that Zhao Yun could not answer, but luckily for him, Zhu Rong jumped in between the two, gripping a new set of daggers as Wei Yan spun to face her. Their eyes locked momentarily, and she spoke firm, "Hold it big guy... no need to be letting out that anger on your fellow man, especially if he helped save your life."
"He left me... all... left me!"
He moved closer, but she reeled back her hand, freezing him as she wore a determined look. "But... he did not leave you to die a few hours ago. Nor will he leave you now..."
It was like staring a rapid beast to the face, standing between him and his prey, and Zhu Rong had to admit that she never felt so terrified in her life. To see his rage, his pain and anger, his sorrow, all trapped within his dark black eyes. She could feel his pain, as if it was a part of her now, but she tried to hold back her own cry, to keep her brave appearance in front of him. If she had to be strong, then it would be for him.
And Wei Yan stopped, restraining the anger within him and taken a few steps back, as if afraid of her now. He could not see the look of sorrow on Zhao Yun's face, nor see the witch doctor trying to flee behind the woman. All he saw was her cold yet blazing blue eyes and glossy blonde hair... his mother once had blonde hair, and she wore that same look on her face before the men had slayed her...
She did this to protect him...
Even now he could hear her fatal cry piercing through his ears, and he brought his hands to cover them, uttering only a whimper. In an instant, the raging beast was on his knees, grasping his head, and he cried out, "MOTHER!"
And now he could almost feel her warm, loving hands, caressing his scarred, weary shoulders, holding him in an embrace that she and only she could hold. But when he rose his gaze, it was not his mother who held him, but Zhu Rong, and he could see the crystal tears that streamed down her face. Had her husband or brother had been there, they would have fainted from the shock... these were the first tears in her life that she had shed. And there they were, dancing in her fiery blue eyes and trailing down her rosy cheeks. "She's gone, big guy... but you're not alone, you got that? You never were alone... nor will you ever be again. You understand me, knucklehead?"
For the first time in his life, another woman touched Wei Yan, and he welcomed it, as all he could do was nod. It hurt too much to utter a word or cry, and he rested his weary head onto her chest, finding comfort in her soft, gentle skin. He could not care if anyone watched them, but as he rose his hands, to see if he could return the hug that he would give to his mother so many years ago, he smiled. Though aged and much more well built than his childhood, he could hold her the very same...
And how he missed that loving embrace... so many painful years of neglecting it, of forgetting the warmth it brought to his body, heart and soul. He had loved Huang Zhong like a father, but he could never hold him like this, like he would have with his mother. And no other woman dared venture towards him or open themselves up to him to offer him the comfort that their hugs brought. This was all he wanted... was another woman's embrace, warmth, and love.
So, as he held her, he gave a deep, long moan, and she allowed his tears to dampen her chest and clothes, only holding him closer to her as if to try to squeeze all the years of pain out of him. She cried too, but nothing could match the velocity of the tears or moaning sobs that the warrior had done.
And Zhao Yun watched, hardly able to hold back his own tears... he gave a sad sigh, to see anyone brought to this. 'Oh... Wei Yan... if I had only known...'
He turned his gaze away, unable to stand it, as he muttered to himself. 'Master Zhuge Liang... if only you could see this, then you would be in tears too...'