Mycerra sat upright, a red spot on her cheek from where she fell asleep at the desk. She checked the time. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." She raked her fingers through her disheveled bob haphazardly.
She dialed up Aurellian. He answered. "I'm so, so sorry. I fell asleep doing paperwork- "She slipped her shoes on and reached blindly for the cup of tea half finished.
"Tia is with my father. We knew you'd work late. Don't worry." Aurellian yawned.
"What about the special guest who was supposed to arrive tonight?" She found the cup at the back of the desk, three-quarters full. "Have they arrived yet?"
Aurellian cleared his throat. "There's been a change of plans." He announced flatly.
She investigated the cup, noticed the dead fly, and dumped the contents into the garbage can. "Are we meeting them at the landing site?" She asked, mind waking at a rapid pace.
One visual sweep of the office revealed nothing out of place. The silence unnerved her seconds less than the day prior. She reminded herself she lived on Earth, not Omega. Breath in, breathe out.
"They're not sending medical specialists to collect DNA as planned. The global backlash and Paris's violent rebuke of their first collection attempt reset their expectations. They scheduled a video meeting with us instead."
"At what time?" She panicked again.
"Tomorrow. Noon."
She sat back down in immense relief. "I'm sorry. Everything is exhausting lately." She apologized to Aurellian. "Where is Titus?"
"I'll tell him to meet you at your quarters. Give you time to shower." Aurellian volunteered.
She blinked back the physical exhaustion. "I appreciate the help, Aurellian."
"It's no weight on my back to ensure you're in a proper mental space." He said dismissively.
She said goodbye and ended the call. Rubbing her eyes, Mycerra wished for a moment of relief, an opportunity to reassess her needs, and a chance to not worry about anything except herself. She considered once more if she really wanted to run for Mayor and how much winning mattered. She concluded the chance to throw it in Pacyra's and Cerberus's face outranked any injury she may or may not sustain in the process.
Her back ached and her arm flared up in excruciating pain.
Slamming her arm on the desk, she gritted her teeth and tears leaked down her cheeks. She tried to flex her hands, the weak biotic waves too little too late. Working through the breathing exercises and biotic pulsing, the cramping eased along her arm shoulder to wrist. Her pinky twitched instead of bending.
"Fuck." She whispered, real tears joining the tears born of pain.
Accessing the omni tool awkwardly with the newly recovered arm, she asked Titus to meet her at the office immediately. She tested her pinky the entire time and alternately tested the opposite pinky in comparison. Titus arrived mid-test.
He carried Tia in a sling, her diaper bag over his shoulder. "Biotics misbehaving again?"
"Severely." She answered solemnly. "I need to schedule an appointment with the Citadel. Do something before it's too late."
"Are your biotics emotionally triggered?" He asked after a moment. "If they are, Mayor is the wrong position for you."
She inhaled and swung her arm to 'feel' normal again. "I think they are, but I do not know for certain."
"I'm suggesting you pull from the race."
"Can't do that."
"I'll speak with the authorities. We'll find a way."
She swallowed her pride. "Worst case scenario, I look into the trials on Cyone. Rely on my mother-in-law. Tia will have her grandmother and I am granted the opportunity to live longer. It won't help my emotional health much, but if I can find the right therapy and medicine and marry them, I can save myself."
"Or you give Tia another home while you attend the trials."
"With her grandmother." Mycerra loathed to admit that Lenaye may be their best option in the end. How close was the end? Should she be more concerned about it? She sat down in resignation. "The fact is, Titus, I can't up and run. Not even for my own health. Not without fulfilling my word to Admiral Hackett and Ambassador Anderson. For making Cerberus pay for the damage they've done to my life."
He rubbed Tia's back. "What's your next move?"
His tone flanged curiously. She recognized the fear, the deep fear that no one willingly admits to but inherently harbors.
She chewed her lip. "An appointment with a doctor. One who specializes in biotics. Hopefully, I can do something productive before Amani leaves Omega. After that, I don't know."
The weight of it crushed her. The conflicting responsibilities, needs, and wants pitted against her. She covered her face with her hands and worked through the rush of new emotions. The numbness set in after a few minutes.
"Cerberus needs stopped. I may not be the last person they hurt, but I'll be the last person they cross." She told him. "They won't stop, until they're stopped."
"I've already started the process of finding out everything I can about- "He looked down the corridor, confirmed it clear, and shut the door. "-our target. I've relayed that upward and bypassed all the channels. Directly to the people it concerns."
She picked at her fingernails.
Death. She never believed it within reach. She wanted to approach it on her terms. Could she? Would she? Did it matter how she met death?
"Anything actionable?" She asked reluctantly.
He knelt by the desk. "You don't- "
"I want to. I need to. I wouldn't be where I am now if they acted honorably in the beginning." She cut him off coldly. "The rest of it…it's stardust. From whence we came to where we end up."
Titus studied her face unashamedly. She appeared ready to cry and hinged on the faintest of control. "If we are stardust, then why are we here?"
"A good question, Titus, a good question." She sighed. "Why does it torture us?"
"The therapy appointments not helping?" He whispered.
She nodded in confirmation. "I miss Amani. I miss. Bohai. I miss Brom. And Mannis. And Hadar. Eating varren strips for lunch each day. Having a homecooked meal by Amani every night. Losing my shirt at poker with the guys. I miss being called Boss. I miss home. Home isn't here. Not wholly. I don't mind the work, Titus. I just want it all to come together for a final resting place. Somewhere I can place my hat and call it a day."
"It will." He hoped. "Each day we're a step closer."
She tried to smile at him. "I haven't had a spasm like this since the old days. At Hobalt's."
"We'll find a new form of therapy. For the biotics and you."
She swallowed hard. "PTSD is never simple."
"These are times of recovery, are they not?" Titus said with more hope.
She nodded, her throat swelling with emotion. "If anything happens to me before Amani leaves Omega, I need you to promise me Tia is delivered to her grandmother." She asked.
Titus held her hand. "Upon my word as a turian, I will ensure it."
She squeezed his hand with a death grip. "I have a mission to fulfill. That hasn't changed."
"What's your next move?" He asked once more.
Her plan, as complex as it was simple, depended on Henry Lawson staying oblivious. The advantage of her turbulent emotions, complex PTSD, and survivor's guilt bespelled Cerberus. She utilized the advantage in the hope Cerberus focused on her and lost their tightly controlled safety precautions.
She set herself up unwittingly after several weeks of dragging herself to and from the office from the wee hours in the morning to the late evening hours. February bled into March. Henry Lawson noticed she never passed out fliers, gave speeches, shook hands, and spoke with the people beyond the short conversations about their daily activities. It'd be easy to think she wasn't running for Mayor. The hard work she slaved over produced reluctant results for Haven 1.
Aside from sinking into the old role she abandoned before to play hero, Titus and Aurellian conducted counter surveillance of Lawson with the help of Hans Everhart and Diyal Bakshi. They discreetly ensured the reports reached the appropriate individuals without a word to Mycerra of their observations. She preferred it that way.
The date of voting encroached on her comfort and privacy further.
Picking up Tia for some Daddy-Daughter time after a long morning of speaking with Haestrom and several other leaders over the comms, she nearly tripped over a young woman she didn't remember meeting.
"Hi. Oh, I'm sorry." The brunette smiled ear to ear. "I didn't mean to almost trip you."
Mycerra gave her the personal space to carry on the one-sided conversation. She already met with the ladies who donated recovered baby items and schemed a method to create their proposed vision. A month after that meeting, she recruited four people willing to undertake the initial stages of the childcare center planning and building.
On top of the childcare center project, the Rise Up! Campaign halted the new population law in its tracks for the moment.
Globally, humans rioted and refused to comply with any of the demands related to it.
She planned to meet the visitors with a small army of armed individuals if they ever visited. Everyone talked about her as if she walked a fine line, she figured she may as well live up to the reputation. The number of pissed off women at the settlement reassured her she didn't need to ask for volunteers. All she needed to do was announce the visit and offer to take the blame for everyone's actions if the law ever came down on them.
"I wanted to introduce myself. Pollina Gregow. I migrated from Ref-Doesn't matter. I just wanted you to know I hope you win the election. You have my vote."
Mycerra stopped and faced the young woman. "Why?"
"Because you're one of us." The woman said as if it were obvious.
Mycerra risked the loss of a vote and leaned in close. "Who is us?"
"A woman with the power to show the men we're just as capable." The brunette answered sincerely. She revealed a stylized fist tattoo on her wrist. "You should join the Ladies of Supreme Justice."
Giving the stranger space again, Mycerra nodded slowly. "I trust the men aren't giving you too much trouble?" She asked.
"You know how it is. One minute we're ignorant, simple-minded idiots. The next we're goddesses who should continue their bloodlines."
"Surely not all of them are like that." Mycerra criticized.
The woman wobbled her hand in the air. "More than half the men I've talked to didn't see the problem with forcing all the women to give birth in the next decade. I decided to invest in my own personal time instead if you know what I mean."
Mycerra winced. "In Haven 1?" She didn't want the answer, but she needed it.
The woman nodded. "Not all of them are like that. Hans Everhart is a good one, but he's gay."
"Huh. I would have never guessed." The reveal floored her. Was her gaydar off that much?
Pollina rattled off more names of decent men and male sympathizers who resented being ordered to continue their bloodlines. Mycerra stopped her after checking the time. "Send me an email with the names and notes on who supports what. I'll try to do something about it while I can." She promised and hurried off to meet up with Tabitha to claim Tia.
As she picked up her daughter, Pollina's email landed in the mailbox.
"I love it when people give me what I need in a timely manner." She remarked smugly.
Tabitha put Tia's dirty clothes aside. "I'll make sure this is laundered."
"You are a lifesaver, Tabitha." Mycerra kissed Tia's tendrils.
Tabitha waved after them.
They claimed a cancelled call time slot at the telecommunications center and called Amani. The hour allotted to them allowed for Amani to read asari tales of caution to Tia with Mycerra as a semi-captivated audience.
The last ten minutes Amani caught Mycerra up with the going-ons of Omega.
"More krogan than I can keep track of. Before they were at more manageable numbers. I think the Blood Pack might be planning something. I hope Aria and Hinder have it under control." Amani stretched her arms, the backdrop of the lab a natural complement to the white lab coat Amani wore. "Your sister called me. Wanted to talk about family 'businesses."
"She hasn't talked to me in months." Mycerra scoffed. "What could she possibly want?"
Amani smirked. "When would be the best time to visit you at Haven 1. I told her to avoid Haven 1 until after the elections. You have your head in ten different directions."
It wasn't a lie. It wasn't the truth.
"Nihlus emailed me about her wanting to reconcile again, except she doesn't know how and she's not willing to admit to part of the blame. Something about Urdnot Wrex being an unreliable narrator of the events."
Mycerra shook with silent laughter. "I'm sure he'd love to hear that description in person. Unreliable narrator. Ha-ha."
Krogan smash.
The sincere laughter lifted a week's worth of tension from her shoulders.
"The Mycerra I know loves to share the blame." Amani mocked playfully.
"Wasn't entirely my fault." She played right into Amani's expectations. "And it doesn't matter anymore. She accepted 'my apology' before I even apologized. We spoke…five minutes before I hung up and called you. Remember the late-night call?"
Amani strained her memory before it registered. "Huh. Wow. Talk about a time delay."
"Denial is a huge thing for Coltons apparently." Mycerra joked. "I'm hoping the Ysetts are better at handling that."
"Mother introduced me to this nice ambassador. A lovely turian lady." Amani teased. "I had to let the ambassador down easy. Once you go human, you become addicted to their unpredictable nature."
Mycerra sat pretty in the full compliment. "You know what they say about asari, right? The meld is a weld." She winked.
Amani turned away for a moment and cleared her throat in embarrassment.
"Oh c'mon. It wasn't that bad."
"Yes, it was."
"Whatever. What happened to being weird together?" Mycerra grinned ear to ear.
Amani's laughter played like music. "We'll work on the asari puns."
"Love you." Mycerra held up her hand to the screen.
Amani copied her. "Till we meet again, Tiamna."
The call ended. Sadness spiked the happiness back into the grave. She kissed Tia's tendrils again. "You are a very lucky girl, Tia. You have a loving daddy and mommy."
The phone call lingered with Mycerra for the rest of the day. She kept Tia with her to starve off the separation anxiety. The anchor to a better reality brightened the evening a smidge more than average.
Over dinner, Mycerra shook hands with more young women and an older woman from the Ladies of Supreme Justice, and several retired officers who complimented on her strong Alliance lineage. She wondered if any reports leaked out to the public about badmouthing her deceased parents and resolved to investigate it the following day. She started to believe Aurellian, and Titus worked the crowds, except neither appeared in the chow hall, outside it afterwards, and when she checked the Defense Affairs office, she discovered father and son neck deep in a report on how to handle Citadel races visiting Earth.
Slightly larger than the office she shared with Tabitha and Diyal, the two turians filled the walking space. They sacrificed one wall of storage for more walking space.
"I smelled your perfume." Aurellian said, eyes hooked on the report.
She sniffed herself. "Scented lotion." She corrected him. "I think I've shaken at least ten hands today. Who is lobbying on my behalf?"
Titus spared her the attention. "We haven't had the time. I'd wager it's Hans to spite Ives."
"Who is Ives?" She asked.
They filled her in on the pro-Alliance transfer from Paris, France.
"Right, okay. I know we're nearing the voting day. I want people to have a fair opportunity to vote for whoever they believe will accomplish the task in a reputable manner."
"And your vocabulary improves each day." Titus poked lightheartedly.
She frowned. "Tia, give him a dirty look."
Tia giggled.
"I said a dirty look. Not a cute giggle." She faux chided.
Tia reached for Titus. Titus obliged the child with a head pat. "Look at those blue cheeks. Be good for Daddy." Mycerra met Aurellian's jealous glance with an almost imperceptible shrug.
She retired to bed that evening with a loaded mind and woke with a migraine to challenge the reapers. Choking down pain meds with water, Mycerra addressed her schedule as she did every morning. A perfectly, ordinary day.
She spilled her coffee on her clothes at breakfast. Tia fussed loud enough for one of the guards to give Mycerra a questioning second glance, implying she hurt Tia somehow. Tabitha Votham fielded complaints and questions from all of Haven 1 about the poll location, hours, and workers. Diyal Bakshi ordered the best and most reliable techs to install security measures into the voting machines to prevent voting fraud. Two hours into the task, one machine caught fire leaving them with ten machines for the entire camp. Aurellian impaled his foot at a construction site, proving the lack of feeling in specific areas placed him in danger. To top it off, Titus caught a cold. They ended the day at the theatre stage, choosing to watch a movie curled up in covers and well supplied with popcorn and graxen to enjoy a randomly picked movie.
Aurellian sported a booted foot.
"Nice job." She teased.
He gave her a dirty look.
"Ease up, Mr. Severe. I was teasing- "
"I know." He reached out and booped Tia's nose. She tried to grab his finger. "Living with a condition is difficult."
She tested her pinky. No change. "I lost some function in this pinky after my arm seized up last month. I hoped it would return." She showed him the damage. "I haven't been able to schedule an appointment with a biotic specialist until next month. They're booked solid. I tried telecommunication consultation with them. Booked solid."
"All of them?" His face plates shifted enough for her to recognize disbelief.
She nodded soberly.
A group of teenagers lounged in front of them on a shared blanket with a giant bucket of popcorn. Off to her left she spotted the seniors kicking back. The cute elderly couple held hands and watched the blank screen suspended above the stage, edge to edge. To her right more mature couples cuddled together or sat on separate cushions and talked quietly.
"Have you thought about cloning your foot and hand?" She asked seriously.
He shook his head vigorously. "Don't trust that."
"It would work for you. I'm a different case."
He shook his head again. "I want to be wholly original."
Her brow quirked. "Okay." Tia watched Aurellian. Mycerra placed her on the ground between her legs.
"It'll work out." Aurellian promised.
She sighed. "Do you ever think about what's on the other side? When you were close to death, did you think about?" She asked in a lowered voice. "Is there a place where nonbelievers go? Is it all one big mess and we deluded ourselves into believing something for the sake of believing? Or do we all go to different places? Or nowhere at all?"
"I know when I die I will be reunited with my family once more." He answered her. "My father has at most fifty years left. I have, if I'm lucky, ninety-some. You're still young."
"If my biotics have their way, I'll age faster than both of you." She countered solemnly. "I wish I was never born a biotic."
She placed her fingers into Tia's small hands and lifted Tia's arms to keep her distracted. The physical touched staved off the emotions waiting to ambush her. Aurellian inched closer and put his arm around her. He held her close. She started to cry silent tears into his shirt.
The movie saved them the hassle of interested bystanders. The classic PI movie played out predictably. Tia fell asleep in the middle of it. Mycerra drowned her demons with a bottle of non-alcoholic cider. Aurellian hovered like a big brother. After the movie ended, she walked him back to his living quarters.
"She snores."
"All night." Mycerra groaned. "I have to wear ear plugs for quality sleep."
"You'll miss this one day. My mother used to say that."
She patted his back. "Reality is a bitch."
"It's the biggest bitch." He agreed. "If you need moral support for the appointment, I can take time off here and go with you."
She considered it. "If you want to. I don't like traveling alone." She hugged him.
He leaned into the embrace and placed most of his weight on the crutches.
The following two weeks leading up to the voting day wrecked her reliable schedule. She shook more hands, held a baby or two, promised eager young parents to-be the world wasn't impossible to raise a child in, and spouted out statistics to anyone who willingly listened. The ingrained statistics imprinted on her memory like a prothean beacon, a constant reminder she helped change the world.
She affected the world.
They affected the world.
Mr. Wallace visited the day before voting started. One of the guards walked Mr. Wallace to her office. "Leader Colton, you have a visitor."
She looked up from the data pad. A corner carved out for Tia occupied the asari baby. A baby fence prevented her escape into the rest of the tiny office. She motioned in her former employer.
He gave the office a once over. "How do you breathe?" He asked bluntly.
"I don't. Haven't had a chance in ages." She answered just as bluntly. "If it's not Haven 1, it's Tia, and if it's not Tia, it's Amani. Whoever said power buys happiness lied."
"Money buys happiness, or so the saying goes." He corrected her.
She turned the data pad off. "What does the esteemed Mr. Nyall Wallace need from me?"
He breathed. "Election day is tomorrow."
"Oh, I am well aware." She pointed to Tia. "That's why we're hiding in here away from the preaching Cal Vornic and Henry Lawson giving a speech at the theatre stage."
"Shouldn't you be in the public eye?" He challenged.
She shook her head and motioned for him to sit in the side chair. "My biotics are degrading because of the stress."
"I hate to inform you, but the chances of you losing this election are as even as the odds of Mr. Vornic winning it."
"That tells me nothing." She said nonplussed.
He adjusted his pant suit jacket. "Mr. Vornic is projected to win a third of the votes."
"Based on?" She sat straighter.
He sat down and placed his shiny black shoes on the bare tile after ensuring the floor was clean. "After the war with reapers, a religious renewal reclaimed a small portion of the survivors. Haven 1's Cal Vornic collected the strongest of believers here. Their vote is all but guaranteed for him. We estimate he accumulated nearly 250 followers. He also conducted public speeches, speaks with the public daily, and offers prayers and hope for the downtrodden."
She debated between voting for herself and voting for Cal Vornic.
"Your less charismatic challenger, Mr. Lawson, wields the public by promises of restoring order through strict adherence to the laws we obeyed before. An appeal to authority. Many prefer his approach."
Was that disappointment?
She cocked her head. "Mr. Wallace, I'm thinking of my wellbeing. Haven 1 doesn't run itself. I can't campaign when there's work to do."
"There will always be work to do."
"Too little too late, sir. Election day is tomorrow." She stressed. "We're working the case. Whether I become Mayor or not, my primary concern is being addressed."
He bent over. "Is it credits you need?"
"What- "
"The reports of your health are worrisome. Is it credits you need to address them?"
"No. What I need is a doctor's schedule to open so I can talk to someone qualified. So, I can do something about it rather than sit here and wait. And I have an appointment. I'm not worried about the credits, sir."
He breathed. "I'll pray for you."
"Exactly what are you praying to?" She demanded sharply. "To the Reapers? To God? You can't pray it away, Mr. Wallace. I'm doing everything I can with what I'm given in the environment I'm in. I'm doing the best I can."
"Send me the bill for your therapy."
She frowned. "With all due respect- "
"With all due respect, your earned wages from the Alliance are in a bank account accruing interest. You're overdue for a vacation, and you're overworked. If you win this election, your problems and time management worsen. Send me the bill for the therapy."
He walked out of the office.
She stared at the floor mutely, then at Tia in her play area. "I'm earning a paycheck from the Alliance, Tia." She announced dully.
Sell out. Hypocrite.
She covered her ears and breathed. The voices died out. She uncovered her ears.
A loud knock at the door startled her.
Henry Lawson waved and stepped into the office space. "I wanted to wish you luck."
"Oh? Oh. The election. Did you want to join me for a drink later tonight? Show Haven 1 that we're allies. Elections can be tense." She offered with a smile.
He smiled back. "Drinks sounds wonderful. We haven't had a chance to speak since your return. Apart from good morning."
He didn't seem so bad on the surface. A politician, yes.
"Not on purpose, I assure you. Paperwork never ends. I used to joke about the red tape, but being on the other side, I see the purpose for it. Somewhat. Half of its redundant."
"The story of my life." He mused.
A paper pusher. Probably a lie.
She welcomed him in further. "Don't mind Tia. She's…levitating a block." She swiveled in the chair and watched the blocks rise around her daughter and thud gently back to the floor.
"A natural." Lawson applauded. "Mama better watch her back."
She almost fell for the easy smile. "You, sir, are right. Daddy will have to ensure Tia doesn't levitate anything dangerous." She noted the time and date to tell Amani later.
Lawson appeared confused for a moment, put himself together, and nodded to Mycerra. "I'll be at the bar. They managed to save one the standing bars. I'll buy." He left her alone in the office.
She wondered what exactly she waded into and how she was going to escape it.