Here I am again, updating for you guys once more. I'm so so so so so so
sorry for leaving you guys hanging like this but I have a good excuse.
University is very demanding and. . . ok I admit it. We got a dvd-player
and I bought FotR and TTT and the extra disc with the behind the scene
thing is great. I am a bad, bad influence do you know that? I just got my
ten-year-old little sister hooked on LotR. I'm serious about this. My mom
finally let her see the movies (at first she thought she was too young but
with some teamwork nagging she allowed it) and now she is totally into it.
She has even started to read the trilogy, in Dutch of course. Aren't I bad,
getting someone so young addicted? ;)
Lots of reviews, thank you to every one of you, you guys rock and keep me going when I'm in a rut.
LalaithoftheBruinen: I haven't heard of the first song but Dido's song is indeed perfect, I may use it but I have no idea when.
Lady Healer: Long review, wow! More agony? Poor Rita, but I will start to think of more ways to create angsty moments. You can beat any character you want up as long as I can still use them in the end. ;) I'm happy you loved the story so much and I have to admit that it was your review that pulled me out of my writer's block and put me typing out this chapter so this one is dedicated to you!!!
Norie Ape1: Thanks, I'm at it once more.
MarySueSlayer: Wow, my first flame. What should I say to you? I doubt you'll be reading this but I want to answer you anyway. If you had taken the time to read on you would have found out that though a little cliche at the beginning, my fic is different from others on ff.net. *sigh* Too bad you were to prejudiced to read on.
Mademoisel madeline: Hey princess, nice new name, I like it. Uni is nice but challenging, thanks for asking. You saw Sean Astin?!?!?! You lucky dog you!!! I didn't base any of the descriptions in my fic on a real palce, in my eyes Middle Earth is far more beautiful then Earth can ever be.
The Great One: Sorry for keeping you waiting I really am. Is the charmed season start any good? We're still with pregnant Piper and insane Cole here in Holland. Hope you're better now.
YueMichiruNaragisawaMiko: Dang what a name! Do I even want to know what it's based on? A Rita/Legolas fic??? Where did you get that idea.? Nonoonoo this will stay with E/R.
Musicgrl: I know, I know, no slang is used in Middle Earth but it just slipped in the fic. I have a tendency to do that, hope you forgive me. My HP fic is dead, officially. I seem to be unable to keep both Changes and Protector going and in the end I chose to continue Protector, my baby.
Blahblah: Uhm, should I start running? Please read first and kill me later.
Elvenflower: No flirting between Rita and Legolas, just a really close friendship. Though you might be giving me ideas. . . *ponders* Nah, I'm sticking to E/R
Serpent of Light: Don't praise me so much, you're inflating my ego here. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long for the new chapter.
Elanhin: Thanks for the compliment and I hope you will like this chapter as well.
Aquitaineq: I know what you mean and I don't think Thranduil is evil, I actually like him and there are so many fics where he is all evil and I hate that.
Shan: Thanks!!!
Urien1: Hmmm, nice idea I might use it. I'm happy you liked last chapter, enjoy this one.
Elvinstar1180: I'm happy you liked it and hope you'll enjoy this one as well.
Darlene5: Thanks for the compliment Darlene, it gave me a boost when I needed one. I hope you like this chapter.
Aislin2: Long review as ever. I am not turning Thranduil evil, I like him. I know not all my names sound Elvish but I find that if I use a name generator like the one you recommended I get a lot of names I don't like and/or names I know others have used in their fic. So I make names up. I accept your personal opinion but I happen to disagree with you. If you read the hobbit you also know that Thranduil's behavior is a little unelflike (not a word I know) since he loves his jewels and is a little greedy. He acts a little human so I don't think he would make a big deal out of Rita fighting. About Rita acting childish, I do that for a reason. She is rediscovering herself, she never had a childhood remember? So I think that she can have as many moments as she wants, she is only 18 you know. Like I just told Musicgrl, slang slips into my fic now and again, I can't help that it just comes out that way. Lembas is only in Lothlorien? You learn something new every day. I'm going to assume that it is known everywhere for the sake of my fic. Wow, long note to you.
Shinigami29: Your idea is filed in my brain and stored if I need it. I'm not sure about it though it does sound neat.
Siren6: You make me smile every time you review, you can be really funny you know. Thanks for your reviews, they often brighten my day.
MaverickGirl: I'm happy you liked the chapter and didn't think it sucked. Now this chapter will suck since I have idea what to write, hmm well we'll see what comes out today.
Aerogril401: Thanks.
Lady of Legolas: I know, I'm not sure if there will be any in this chapter.
Lady Eleclya: In a hammock with Legolas, wouldn't we all want that. I have watched the dvd too often and my little sister is (I think) in love with Legolas. She replays the skateboard scene in TTT over and over again.
Donnamira: It doesn't matter, I love it whenever you review. I'm happy you liked the chapter.
Mademoiselle Morte: Happy you loved it, hope this one will please you as well.
Prophetic Fire: Your opinion does count for something. You al say last chapter was good so now I'll believe you.
DISCLAIMER: You should know this by now so :P
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two months had passed already and Rita found that she was enjoying her time in Mirkwood. After their first excursion Legolas took both her and Gimli exploring often, though they never visited his sanctuary again.
After listening to the story Legolas had told her about the Valar Rita had become very interested in the history of Middle Earth. Unfortunately all books that were held in Thranduil's library were written in elvish.
It was the queen who had come up with the solution as she started to teach Rita how to read and write in Sindarin. Every afternoon the two would sit together and Araniel would explain the runes patiently over and over again.
Rita was frustrated that she didn't pick this skill up as quickly as she had done with the speech, but the queen had shook her head at her.
"Speaking is one thing Voronwer, they are sounds. But you cannot expect to master the runes within a period of merely two months, it would be impossible. Now lets start over here and try again shall we?"
And so it was that another month passed. Rita trained often with any elf available in the morning, her archery skills still not improving yet kept up nonetheless. The days had become routine for them all. Training, exploring, learning, and the same pattern the day after.
One of these days Rita decided to go an entirely different path and even before the sun had fully risen she went out to explore the forest on her own.
With her she took her sword and dagger, but none of the other weapons she now had since time after time the elves of Mirkwood had boasted about the fact that finally their home was free from evil.
She followed a long path until she decided to be even more adventurous and walked off the path, into the bushes and the trees.
Though she had no idea where she was going Rita was far from worried and whistled some song in joy. The wind breezed around her and the sun peeked through the branches of the trees.
Then a shiver crept up her spine and she started to feel uncomfortable. Something was wrong. . . but what? She finally realized that it seemed as though it had grown darker and something more eerily occurred to her as well. She could no longer hear the trees.
Not knowing why Rita whipped out her sword and started to walk back the way she came, alert for any sign of trouble.
It was that moment when she heard hissing above her and ignoring her instinct to run and get the hell out of there she looked up. . . into one of the creepiest things she had ever seen.
Eight black eyes looked back at her and she could see rows of teeth as the huge spider hissed again, as it moved its leg, which was attached to one of the branches. It was the biggest spider she had ever seen.
To her surprise the spider spoke through its hisses. "Not a lot of meat on you but you'll have to do. Hunger, hunger plagues me."
"Well you'll just have to stay hungry because I am not going to be eaten." Rita retorted.
The spider observed her and started to slowly move down the tree, watching its prey intently. Then out of nowhere it shot some sort of substance at her and Rita was not able to dodge it completely and some of it got caught around her arm.
She touched it with her hand and was disgusted to find that it was covered with webbing. Then the spider leaped out of the tree and the only thing that saved Rita from being pinned underneath the insect was the fact that she let herself drop and roll to the left.
Her mistake in that was of course the fact that she was lying down but then again, it wasn't by choice that she was in that position.
How she didn't know but somehow she made it back to her feet and thankfully she still had her sword in her hand.
Raising her blade she started to swing at it, not really sure what to aim for. *What kills a spider?* Rita wondered as she barely managed to get away as the spider leaped at her again.
Then by luck she cut off one of its legs and the creature screeched in pain. Taking the momentum Rita tried to stab it in its body but even with one leg missing the spider was very agile.
It managed to crawl up a tree and that left Rita on the ground, alone and exposed. As she whirled around from side to side trying to catch any movement, Rita cursed the fact she left her bow in her room.
The sword was no weapon for fighting a thing like this. It was way too quick for her to do any serious damage to it.
Rita considered running but knew that wouldn't work since the spider had the advantage. There was nothing to do for her but wait until it showed its ugly face again.
She didn't have to wait for long when the spider jumped out of the tree and knocked her against the ground. Pain flared through her left arm as she heard her shoulder dislocate in a familiar pop.
Ignoring the pain she managed to stab the spider in the gut and suddenly it fell on the ground. She started to get up slowly, biting her lip to keep herself from groaning when she heard another hiss behind her. And another. And another.
Alarm-bells went of in her head as she slowly turned around to see three more spiders behind her, looking quite murderous.
*Can a spider look murderous?* Rita thought. *Huh, I guess they can. Great job Rita, well done. What a mess you got yourself into this time.*
When she looked at the spiders more closely Rita noticed that the three were smaller then the first one. *Maybe I'll be able to take them* she thought before chuckling at her own optimism.
"It laughs." One of the spiders hissed. "It mocks our mother."
*Uh-oh* Rita thought. *I'm guessing that's not a good thing*
Another spider answered the other. "It shall not laugh much longer. Come let us still out hunger and drink from her juice."
Rita gripped her sword more tightly, she was not going down without a fight. She lifted her head proudly and she spoke loud and clear.
"If you want me you'll have to catch me first you eight-legged freaks."
The spiders hissed loudly at this and surrounded her. Without thinking she swung her sword at one of them and for once she didn't bother herself with form or tricks. She just wanted to hurt something so she could stay alive.
Blindly she just hacked at anything around her but she knew she was lost when another load of webbing managed to knock her down and her sword fell out of her grasp.
She saw a spider near her with its poisonous fangs bared so he could bite her and she grimaced. It was not a pretty sight to see.
What was nice to see was the same spider falling dead on the ground, several arrows sticking out of its body.
Knowing the cavalry had come to her rescue Rita smiled and she tried to sit up but the webbing that trapped her to the ground made this impossible.
Then she heard a familiar voice as an elf crouched next to her, cutting her free from the thick webbing. "Only you could be able to find one of the last spiders nests in Mirkwood. If you were looking for adventure all you had to do was tell me and I would have taken you hunting."
"Very funny Legolas, it wasn't as if I planned this you know. Now be a nice elf and grab my left shoulder and hold it tight. Whatever you do, don't let go."
He nodded and with a quick twist she put her shoulder back into its place. A pop echoed through the glade and Rita stomped on the ground as the only outlet of her pain.
Some of the elves winced at the popping sound and only then did Rita notice the elves beside Legolas who had come to her aid.
"Not to sound ungrateful but what are you doing here?" she asked.
Legolas answered for them all. "We were out hunting when we heard the screech of a spider and decided to investigate. Then we heard you and saw you fight them before you were knocked down and the rest you know."
"Well thanks, to all of you, I would have been spider food if not for your help."
The elves nodded in acknowledgement and Rita got up with the help of Legolas. An elf called Mellas handed her sword to her and she cleaned it on her pants. They were ruined anyway.
"You fought well Voronwer." Mellas commented.
Rita snorted. "So well that I almost ended up dead."
Now Legolas interfered in the conversation. "You managed to kill a full- grown spider and a youngling as well. The other two you injured, though not lethally. You fought well my friend."
"Give me an orc any day, at least they are not so annoying to kill. Slice its neck, stab it through its heart. That's simple. These spiders are not only disgusting but they can talk as well. Talking spiders! What is that all about?"
She put her uninjured hand through her hand and grimaced when she felt the webbing stuck in her locks. That would take a long time to clean.
"You are bleeding." An elf whose name she didn't know exclaimed. When she looked at him in confusion he pointed at her midriff. "Your side, it's bleeding."
Rita raised her arm again and looked at her side. Hmmm, she was bleeding. "Funny." She said. "I don't feel a thing. I don't think it's that big of a deal."
"Let the healers be a judge of that." Legolas said and Rita was suddenly picked up and the elves rushed back to the castle.
Now Rita was not amused by this action. "Put me down you elf, I can walk it's probably just a nick or something. Let me walk."
But nobody listened to her and soon they reached the castle and they immediately took her down to the healing chambers, where there already a healer was waiting for her. Apparently one of the elves had ran ahead to warn them.
At once the healer and his assistant started to pull on her clothes and removed her shirt after they had sent the elves who had brought her in out.
They examined her shoulder and dabbed at the 'nick' on her side. It was more like a deep gash but Rita still had no idea what the fuss was about.
She was forced to drink some kind of tea and she had to act out silly things like touching her nose with her eyes closed.
Finally she had had enough. "You're all crazy, it's just a gash and a dislocated shoulder, not the end of the world."
"We are searching for any trace of poison Lady." The healer at last explained. "Many have fallen because of the after-affect of a 'gash', like you called it, because it was infected or poisoned."
Rita rolled her eyes. "I could have saved you the trouble you know, I made sure to stay out of the way of those nasty fangs. I'm not that stupid."
"It's merely a precaution." The healer assured her.
She sighed. "I guess its better to be safe then sorry. Is there any chance you'll let me go and give me a new shirt so I can take the bath I'm desperate for?"
The healer looked troubled and Rita decided to give him the brightest smile she could. "I promise to take it easy and if I have any sign of trouble I'll come and see you."
In the end the healer caved in and handed her a shirt, which was way too big for her but at least she had something to wear.
When she stepped out she saw a lot of people waiting outside and she raised her eyebrows. "There's a meeting and I wasn't invited? I'm hurt."
"Voronwer what are you doing out here, you should be resting." Mellas said.
Then there was rough chuckling and Gimli stepped forwards. "You are talking to the person who was up and about the day after she was badly beaten. She is too stubborn to do something as simple as resting."
"Thank you Gimli. . . I think." Rita muttered. "Now could you all just move so I can get out of here and clean myself up. I have a combination of webbing and mud in my hair and I'm afraid to even look in a mirror to see the damage that caused."
The small crowd parted and Rita quickly jogged to her room but she found the bathtub empty so she went out to find a maid.
She finally found a one in another hallway. "Miniel, could I please have some hot water for a bath and soap and hair-soap? Lots and lots of hair- soap please."
The she-elf gasped at her appearance and immediately ran off. Rita hoped it was to carry out her request and not out of fright for her image.
Deciding to wait in her room for that Rita walked back and in her room she managed to kick of her boots and put away her weapons away when there was an invasion in her room.
The queen was in front and behind her were more maids with hot water. They filled the bath while Araniel walked up to Rita.
"When Miniel told me you looked terrible she wasn't exaggerating. You look like. . . "
Rita finished her sentence. "Like I went and got caught up in a fight with some big spiders. That's exactly what happened."
"You were injured? Were you thoroughly checked for poison?" Araniel asked.
"The healer looked me over and let me go, I'm fine." Rita countered.
Then Araniel led her to the bathroom and helped her undress and step into the bath. The maids had all been sent away as the queen told them she would care for Voronwer.
Careful for her injuries Rita slipped into the bath and she closed her eyes at the relaxing feeling that came over her. She relaxed even more when she felt Araniel wash her hair for her.
She didn't know how long she had been in the tub but by the time the queen had finished with her hair the water was growing cold.
Araniel helped her dry and put a clean bandage on her wound before she helped Rita in a nightgown and pushed her in the direction of the bed.
"I'm not even tired." Rita objected. "Just let me get dressed so I can join you for dinner."
But the queen was not to be swayed from her decision. "You are injured and need to rest. I will send your meal to you."
For Rita there was no other choice then to follow orders and she slipped under the covers. "Fine, you win. I'll rest but I'm not going to sleep."
This pleased Araniel and she left the room. Rita looked around her room for a while and frowned. She was bored, she never had nothing to do.
Just when she was about to get up and get dressed there was a knock on the door and immediately after that Legolas stepped in the room with a tray in his hands and a book tucked under his arm.
"I have orders from my mother to insure you eat and stay in bed so that is exactly what I will do. Now make some room for this tray, I believe mother thought you were starving for the amount of food she had prepared for you."
Rita sat up and cleared a spot for the tray. Legolas pulled a chair up so he could sit next to her and grabbed a roll from they tray.
"Hey I believe that's my food you are eating." Rita joked but when she examined the tray more carefully she chuckled. "Though there's more then I would ever be able to eat. So help yourself."
She grabbed a roll and dipped it into honey before she ate it. She rolled her eyes in delight at the taste and soon the roll was devoured.
"I'm happy you are all right Rita." Legolas said after a long silence. "It would have been terrible to loose you after all we've been through during the war."
Rita chuckled softly. "It would have been silly, wouldn't it? I survived all the big bad battles only to be killed by hungry spiders. That would have been impressive."
"Those hungry spiders have been able to kill many of my kin." Legolas responded seriously. "They are far more dangerous then you can imagine. They are strong, swift and agile with poisonous fangs and keen sight. You were lucky to escape almost unscathed."
Growing serious as well Rita patted his shoulder. "I had these great elves watching my back and I was lucky. A combination that never fails."
The rest of the meal was spent in silence and somehow they managed to make all the food disappear between the two of them.
When the tray was put away Legolas ordered her to lie down and pulled out the book he had been carrying with him out.
"You asked about the spiders so I thought it only fair to tell you the tale of how the spiders first came to our forest." He opened the book to the first page and was about to start reading when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in." Rita said and the door opened to reveal Gimli.
"Just wanted to check if you were all right lass. But I see you are in good hands and about to rest so I'll just leave you be."
Rita tried to sit up again but Legolas prevented that. "No, come in Gimli. I'm not resting, Legolas was just about to tell me about the spiders, you can stay if you want. It's been a while since the three of us sat together and talked on our own."
"If neither of you mind. . . " Gimli saw Legolas shake his head so he pulled a chair up as well and seated himself on the other side of Rita's bed.
When they were all situated Legolas started to read for them. Because he knew Gimli couldn't understand Sindarin he told the story in Common.
Once again Rita felt herself being lulled asleep by Legolas's voice even though she fought it tooth and nail. Finally she gave in and the last thing she saw were her two friends standing guard over her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Again weeks passed by and spring had driven winter away. Rita was by now doing well in her lessons, good enough for her to finally start on the books in Thranduil's library.
It was rare to see Rita parted from a book when she could finally read them, though she still explored and trained. It was not uncommon to find Rita discussing a subject she had just discovered with one of the elves.
But it was Legolas who was the main target. And him being an elf and all, he answered all of Rita's questions patiently and he never tired of explaining things to her.
The thing that fascinated Rita most was the history of how the elves came to be in Middle Earth and the following kin-slaying.
She couldn't imagine that elves were once so bloodthirsty or cruel to some of their own kin, it went beyond her imagination for the elves she had learned to know were anything but that.
In a way both Rita and Legolas were content, it was Gimli who was getting fidgety. He longed for mountains, dwarves and his home.
The three were discussing plans for leaving in the dining hall when one of the scouts ran in the hall and straight to the king.
"Milord, there is word from Rivendell. Lords Elrohir and Elladan have come here bearing a message from their father Lord Elrond. Should I let them come before you now or should I escort them to a chamber so you can finish your meal?"
"Nonsense, let them enter. I have been expecting this message for some time." Thranduil said.
Rita's throat had gone dry and she had stopped paying attention the moment the elf had mentioned Elladan. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, how should she deal with this?
She decided to play it safe and risk no more harm to her heart so she slipped out of her seat as inconspicuously as possible and went out the backdoor, since the twins would enter through the front.
Forcing herself to walk slowly and quietly at first, Rita broke into a run as soon as she cleared from the dining hall. She didn't stop until she reached her room where she sank to the floor.
How was it possible that he still affected her? Rita scoffed at her own behavior, she had run from him, as if she were afraid of him. Being afraid was something Rita did not appreciate, not after all she had been through already.
Pulling herself together Rita changed into a pair of comfortable pants and shirt and walked to the library. She knew she wouldn't be able to eat if she were forced to and her mind was too active to even consider sleeping so she hoped that reading would take her mind off of things.
She wasn't expecting to find the library already occupied and she certainly didn't expect to find Anglas sitting there nursing a goblet of wine as he sat on one of the chairs, watching at the stars that were visible through the hole in the roof.
Debating whether or not to turn away Rita found this decision being made for her when Anglas focussed on her.
"Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come in? It is quite annoying to see you standing in the doorway like that."
The thought that hit Rita first was that Anglas sounded completely sober, though he swallowed the wine in his goblet in one gulp.
Rita sat down in the chair opposite to Anglas and studied the prince in front of her. He seemed more at ease as he was sitting there, more approachable. So she decided to be bold.
"Why?" she asked him.
Anglas was confused. "Why what Voronwer? You make no sense."
"Why do you drink so much? Have you not found out by now that the drinks do nothing to alleviate your pain, that it returns as soon as the rush of alcohol had left your system?"
"I'm sure my little brother has told you all about the reason I drink like I do, he tells you everything does he not?"
Rita frowned, she knew this was threading on thin ice. "Legolas told me about your loss and I am sorry for you, it is hard to accept the loss of those you love."
"What would you know of such a matter? You are but a child." Anglas mocked.
"I know more about it then you'd be able to imagine. Tell me, have you lost your sister, brother, numerous good friends and the one you love in a time- period of less then a year?"
She didn't wait for him to answer and continued to rant. "My guess is you didn't so don't you dare speak to me like I have no idea what pain is. You are not the only one who has suffered Prince Anglas, with you there are many lost those they loved. Children who will never see their Ada again because he perished on the battlefield, mothers who will never hold their sons again. Do not be selfish to assume your pain is special."
Silence hung in the air until Rita sighed and dropped her head in one of her hands. "I apologize, I shouldn't have said that."
"Why should you apologize for saying something I am sure every elf has been wanting to tell me for quite some time?"
"Because I have no right to judge you for running away from pain when I am doing just the same. Do you know what I just did? I just ran from the dining hall because the one I love, the one I lost, was about to enter. Pathetic isn't it?"
Anglas looked at Rita and examined her. She had never been this open to him, she never spoke to him besides from the occasional good day. And he told her just this.
"Call it shock, I'll regret saying a word in the morning. Now seriously, you looked so sad sitting here and I wanted to help you and now here we are."
"Yes here we are." Anglas agreed and then he asked a question Rita did not expect. "Am I really that horrible and selfish?"
At first she didn't know how to answer this but she was able to formulate a sentence. "I haven't known you long enough to agree or disagree, but from the way Legolas talks about you, the way your mother talks about you, I would say no to that question. You are just trapped in a situation you can't get out of."
"That's one way of calling it. Do you know that I have tried time and again to stop drinking, but it never worked for the pain always became too much for me."
Rita frowned. "Tell me if I'm out of line but why don't you sail to Valinor? I asked Legolas the same but he didn't know."
"I would leave her if I were to leave these shores, I would dishonor her memory by leaving her behind, leaving the memories we shared in this very land."
"That's the biggest bunch of nonsense I have ever heard." Rita exclaimed. "You only pain yourself like this and tell me honestly, in your memories. . . do you recall the happy times you spent with your love?"
When he didn't answer her Rita knew she had hit the target. "The memories are in your heart, nothing can take them away from you and by leaving from here you wouldn't dishonor anyone in any way. Do you think your lady would have wanted you to suffer so for her?"
Then she stood up and walked to the door. "I didn't intend for this conversation to happen and you can reject all I have told you if you so wished, just do what your heart tells you to do." And she left the library.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rita walked back to her room in a slow pace, now that conversation had been confusing. She couldn't believe she had the nerve to confront Anglas like she did.
So deep in thought she was that she didn't notice that there was someone following her. She was about to open the door to her room when her movement was stopped by a hand on her own.
Looking up at whoever it was Rita was shocked to see. . . "Elladan." She whispered.
"Rita." He nodded at her. "Would you please hear me out, I need to speak with you."
His eyes were so pleading and Rita could feel her heart break as she gazed into them. So there was no other way then to comply. "We'll talk but not here, lets go outside I need some fresh air."
She turned and started to walk towards the exit of the palace when she recalled the hand still on her own. She looked at it and then at Elladan. He seemed to get the message because he released her hand.
For some reason they encountered nobody on their way out and Rita led the way to a small clearing she and Legolas had discovered just the day before.
It was only 10 minutes away from the castle and the clearing was completely surrounded by trees so dense that one would only be able to find it if one were purposefully looking for it. It was completely sheltered.
The only reason they had discovered it was because Rita had been clumsy enough to trip over some branch she had overlooked and had fallen into the clearing.
In the clearing Rita sat against a tree and watched as Elladan hesitated to do the same. He just stood there, shifting from one foot to the other.
"Sweet Eru Elladan, will you just sit down. You're the one that wanted to talk so talk."
He dropped to the ground and opened his mouth, only to close it again and he closed his eyes and leaned against a tree next to Rita.
"I don't know where to start." He finally began. "Perhaps I should start by apologizing, for I have caused you pain after I swore I would never hurt you or let harm come to you. I have been a fool Rita, an absolute fool."
The urge to stay silent while he spoke was great but Rita wasn't cruel enough to do to him what he had done to her.
"You could say that. You broke my heart Elladan, shattered it into tiny little pieces." She saw Elladan wince and for some odd reason this made her feel a bit better.
"I know it is of little consolation but my heart is far from whole either." Elladan turned to Rita and looked deep in her eyes. "For the past few months there has been a gap in my heart, my life, without you. Never had I imagined such pain until I experienced it."
Rita drew a shaky breath and focussed her look on the tree behind Elladan instead of on his face. "You put yourself in the situation, it was you who turned away Elladan not me. I wanted to make it work but you refused to even speak to me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"I think I can imagine Rita, if it was anything like the pain you caused me when you told me our relationship was over. I didn't understand then, not like I do now. Oh how I wish Ada had stayed out of my business, we wouldn't be in this situation now."
When he said this Rita focussed on his eyes immediately. "How did you know about that? The conversation between me and your father I mean."
"Haldir hinted at it when I asked him about you when he returned and I confronted Ada. He told me of what he had said to you and I became so angry. He is no longer my father, not after what he put us through."
Rita was shocked at the harshness in his voice and shook her head a little. "He did what he thought was best Elladan, you shouldn't punish him for that. He already lost your sister, don't make him loose you as well."
"He drove us apart melamin." Elladan exclaimed but he realized his mistake when he saw Rita stiffen at the endearment.
"Don't call me that Elladan, don't make me go through this again, I already shed too many tears on your account. And it was not your father who drove us apart but you."
Elladan grabbed her hands and held them tightly. "I would turn back time to change what I did but that is not within my power." He chuckled a little but the humor was far from his voice. "To think that it was my jealousy that drove me to doing what I did. Jealousy! A typical human emotion."
"What was there to be jealous about?" Rita exclaimed. "I loved you and only you."
"Yet it was not me you would turn to when you were in pain, not me to comfort you. It was not I who was able to convince you to return to me."
Rita was shocked. "This was about Haldir? About my closeness to him??" The tone of her voice was bitter when she spoke again. "I'll have you know that Haldir has been my rock. He would listen to me telling him about the hell my dad put me through, things not even you or Aragorn know of, and he would accept. He listened and listened and he knew I needed to get it out without any interruption from him. Without any anger or pity or any other emotion on my part. But he has never been more than my best friend, not ever."
"I knew this, know this, but it stung and Ada's words had planted a doubt in my mind like he planted one in yours. My heart and head were at war and in the process I drove you away and for that I am eternally sorry."
There was a silence that lasted for minutes on end, both were reluctant to break it until Elladan finally spoke.
"So where does this leave us Rita? What will become of us now?"
"I have no clue. All I know is that I'm going to roam Middle Earth with Legolas and Gimli until Aragorn passes and then Legolas and I will build a ship to sail to Valinor, where we will live for the rest of our days. Your place in this plan and my life I don't know."
Elladan gathered his courage and he moved his hand from hers and put it on her cheek. "Do you still love me melamin? Even after all I put you through, all you put me through?"
The warmth emanating from his hand and the pleading in his eyes were too much for Rita so she closed her eyes to get a grip on herself.
"I don't think I will ever stop loving you Elladan, but I don't think I can handle another heart-break, not again."
"I wouldn't cause you more pain, not if I can help it." Elladan vowed and Rita was pulled towards him like a moth was drawn to a flame.
She didn't know who initiated it but suddenly she could find his lips upon hers and any logic fled from her mind at this movement.
The kiss started out slow, both reveling in the feeling of closeness again, but soon turned more passionate when Elladan ran his tongue over her lips, begging entrance.
Rita shivered as she allowed his tongue in her mouth and he seized the moment to re-explore her mouth. His tongue ran over her teeth, over the roof of her mouth, over her lips, avoiding direct contact with her tongue.
Then he withdrew from her mouth and Rita had no other choice then to follow him as she explored his mouth like he had just done to her.
When she finished her examination she roughly attacked his tongue with her own as she buried her hands in his hair, pulling him closer.
More and more passionate the kiss became, it was like they were both parched for the other. Rita was in a daze in which she could only feel and not think.
Elladan's mouth on hers was heavenly and Rita felt her heart soar in her chest, she had come home at last. His hands clutched her tightly to him. One was resting around her waist, the other on her neck holding her close to him.
They lost their balance but were unwilling to let go of one another so they lay on the ground. It was only when Rita felt the weight of Elladan's body resting upon hers that she woke out of the daze and started to think again.
She pulled away from the kiss and rolled them in such a way that she could sit up again. She was panting. "What am I doing?" she whispered to herself but it was Elladan who answered her.
"You are doing what you have longed to do, what I have longed to do for months. You are giving our relationship another chance."
He moved to kiss her again but Rita put her hand on his mouth to stop him. "Is that what this is Elladan? A second chance? What will happen after this moment? I will travel with Gimli and Legolas and you will return to Rivendell."
"You could always return to Rivendell with me." Elladan suggested but Rita shook her head.
"That will not do Elladan, do you know why I chose to travel instead of staying in Gondor or even Lothlorien?"
He shook his head so she explained it to him. "I needed to find out who I was, needed to do something for me instead of for anyone else. If I return with you now I would loose that, I would return as your love not my own person. There is still a lot I have to discover about myself until I can consider living with you."
"I am willing to wait for you melamin. You can do whatever it is you wish as long as you return to me in the end."
Then he kissed her again and all thoughts of leaving were forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Ugh, I've had writer's block for so long so it won't surprise me if you think this chapter sucked. Please let me know!!!! I have no idea where the entire Elladan scene came from, it just popped up.
Lots of reviews, thank you to every one of you, you guys rock and keep me going when I'm in a rut.
LalaithoftheBruinen: I haven't heard of the first song but Dido's song is indeed perfect, I may use it but I have no idea when.
Lady Healer: Long review, wow! More agony? Poor Rita, but I will start to think of more ways to create angsty moments. You can beat any character you want up as long as I can still use them in the end. ;) I'm happy you loved the story so much and I have to admit that it was your review that pulled me out of my writer's block and put me typing out this chapter so this one is dedicated to you!!!
Norie Ape1: Thanks, I'm at it once more.
MarySueSlayer: Wow, my first flame. What should I say to you? I doubt you'll be reading this but I want to answer you anyway. If you had taken the time to read on you would have found out that though a little cliche at the beginning, my fic is different from others on ff.net. *sigh* Too bad you were to prejudiced to read on.
Mademoisel madeline: Hey princess, nice new name, I like it. Uni is nice but challenging, thanks for asking. You saw Sean Astin?!?!?! You lucky dog you!!! I didn't base any of the descriptions in my fic on a real palce, in my eyes Middle Earth is far more beautiful then Earth can ever be.
The Great One: Sorry for keeping you waiting I really am. Is the charmed season start any good? We're still with pregnant Piper and insane Cole here in Holland. Hope you're better now.
YueMichiruNaragisawaMiko: Dang what a name! Do I even want to know what it's based on? A Rita/Legolas fic??? Where did you get that idea.? Nonoonoo this will stay with E/R.
Musicgrl: I know, I know, no slang is used in Middle Earth but it just slipped in the fic. I have a tendency to do that, hope you forgive me. My HP fic is dead, officially. I seem to be unable to keep both Changes and Protector going and in the end I chose to continue Protector, my baby.
Blahblah: Uhm, should I start running? Please read first and kill me later.
Elvenflower: No flirting between Rita and Legolas, just a really close friendship. Though you might be giving me ideas. . . *ponders* Nah, I'm sticking to E/R
Serpent of Light: Don't praise me so much, you're inflating my ego here. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting for so long for the new chapter.
Elanhin: Thanks for the compliment and I hope you will like this chapter as well.
Aquitaineq: I know what you mean and I don't think Thranduil is evil, I actually like him and there are so many fics where he is all evil and I hate that.
Shan: Thanks!!!
Urien1: Hmmm, nice idea I might use it. I'm happy you liked last chapter, enjoy this one.
Elvinstar1180: I'm happy you liked it and hope you'll enjoy this one as well.
Darlene5: Thanks for the compliment Darlene, it gave me a boost when I needed one. I hope you like this chapter.
Aislin2: Long review as ever. I am not turning Thranduil evil, I like him. I know not all my names sound Elvish but I find that if I use a name generator like the one you recommended I get a lot of names I don't like and/or names I know others have used in their fic. So I make names up. I accept your personal opinion but I happen to disagree with you. If you read the hobbit you also know that Thranduil's behavior is a little unelflike (not a word I know) since he loves his jewels and is a little greedy. He acts a little human so I don't think he would make a big deal out of Rita fighting. About Rita acting childish, I do that for a reason. She is rediscovering herself, she never had a childhood remember? So I think that she can have as many moments as she wants, she is only 18 you know. Like I just told Musicgrl, slang slips into my fic now and again, I can't help that it just comes out that way. Lembas is only in Lothlorien? You learn something new every day. I'm going to assume that it is known everywhere for the sake of my fic. Wow, long note to you.
Shinigami29: Your idea is filed in my brain and stored if I need it. I'm not sure about it though it does sound neat.
Siren6: You make me smile every time you review, you can be really funny you know. Thanks for your reviews, they often brighten my day.
MaverickGirl: I'm happy you liked the chapter and didn't think it sucked. Now this chapter will suck since I have idea what to write, hmm well we'll see what comes out today.
Aerogril401: Thanks.
Lady of Legolas: I know, I'm not sure if there will be any in this chapter.
Lady Eleclya: In a hammock with Legolas, wouldn't we all want that. I have watched the dvd too often and my little sister is (I think) in love with Legolas. She replays the skateboard scene in TTT over and over again.
Donnamira: It doesn't matter, I love it whenever you review. I'm happy you liked the chapter.
Mademoiselle Morte: Happy you loved it, hope this one will please you as well.
Prophetic Fire: Your opinion does count for something. You al say last chapter was good so now I'll believe you.
DISCLAIMER: You should know this by now so :P
~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two months had passed already and Rita found that she was enjoying her time in Mirkwood. After their first excursion Legolas took both her and Gimli exploring often, though they never visited his sanctuary again.
After listening to the story Legolas had told her about the Valar Rita had become very interested in the history of Middle Earth. Unfortunately all books that were held in Thranduil's library were written in elvish.
It was the queen who had come up with the solution as she started to teach Rita how to read and write in Sindarin. Every afternoon the two would sit together and Araniel would explain the runes patiently over and over again.
Rita was frustrated that she didn't pick this skill up as quickly as she had done with the speech, but the queen had shook her head at her.
"Speaking is one thing Voronwer, they are sounds. But you cannot expect to master the runes within a period of merely two months, it would be impossible. Now lets start over here and try again shall we?"
And so it was that another month passed. Rita trained often with any elf available in the morning, her archery skills still not improving yet kept up nonetheless. The days had become routine for them all. Training, exploring, learning, and the same pattern the day after.
One of these days Rita decided to go an entirely different path and even before the sun had fully risen she went out to explore the forest on her own.
With her she took her sword and dagger, but none of the other weapons she now had since time after time the elves of Mirkwood had boasted about the fact that finally their home was free from evil.
She followed a long path until she decided to be even more adventurous and walked off the path, into the bushes and the trees.
Though she had no idea where she was going Rita was far from worried and whistled some song in joy. The wind breezed around her and the sun peeked through the branches of the trees.
Then a shiver crept up her spine and she started to feel uncomfortable. Something was wrong. . . but what? She finally realized that it seemed as though it had grown darker and something more eerily occurred to her as well. She could no longer hear the trees.
Not knowing why Rita whipped out her sword and started to walk back the way she came, alert for any sign of trouble.
It was that moment when she heard hissing above her and ignoring her instinct to run and get the hell out of there she looked up. . . into one of the creepiest things she had ever seen.
Eight black eyes looked back at her and she could see rows of teeth as the huge spider hissed again, as it moved its leg, which was attached to one of the branches. It was the biggest spider she had ever seen.
To her surprise the spider spoke through its hisses. "Not a lot of meat on you but you'll have to do. Hunger, hunger plagues me."
"Well you'll just have to stay hungry because I am not going to be eaten." Rita retorted.
The spider observed her and started to slowly move down the tree, watching its prey intently. Then out of nowhere it shot some sort of substance at her and Rita was not able to dodge it completely and some of it got caught around her arm.
She touched it with her hand and was disgusted to find that it was covered with webbing. Then the spider leaped out of the tree and the only thing that saved Rita from being pinned underneath the insect was the fact that she let herself drop and roll to the left.
Her mistake in that was of course the fact that she was lying down but then again, it wasn't by choice that she was in that position.
How she didn't know but somehow she made it back to her feet and thankfully she still had her sword in her hand.
Raising her blade she started to swing at it, not really sure what to aim for. *What kills a spider?* Rita wondered as she barely managed to get away as the spider leaped at her again.
Then by luck she cut off one of its legs and the creature screeched in pain. Taking the momentum Rita tried to stab it in its body but even with one leg missing the spider was very agile.
It managed to crawl up a tree and that left Rita on the ground, alone and exposed. As she whirled around from side to side trying to catch any movement, Rita cursed the fact she left her bow in her room.
The sword was no weapon for fighting a thing like this. It was way too quick for her to do any serious damage to it.
Rita considered running but knew that wouldn't work since the spider had the advantage. There was nothing to do for her but wait until it showed its ugly face again.
She didn't have to wait for long when the spider jumped out of the tree and knocked her against the ground. Pain flared through her left arm as she heard her shoulder dislocate in a familiar pop.
Ignoring the pain she managed to stab the spider in the gut and suddenly it fell on the ground. She started to get up slowly, biting her lip to keep herself from groaning when she heard another hiss behind her. And another. And another.
Alarm-bells went of in her head as she slowly turned around to see three more spiders behind her, looking quite murderous.
*Can a spider look murderous?* Rita thought. *Huh, I guess they can. Great job Rita, well done. What a mess you got yourself into this time.*
When she looked at the spiders more closely Rita noticed that the three were smaller then the first one. *Maybe I'll be able to take them* she thought before chuckling at her own optimism.
"It laughs." One of the spiders hissed. "It mocks our mother."
*Uh-oh* Rita thought. *I'm guessing that's not a good thing*
Another spider answered the other. "It shall not laugh much longer. Come let us still out hunger and drink from her juice."
Rita gripped her sword more tightly, she was not going down without a fight. She lifted her head proudly and she spoke loud and clear.
"If you want me you'll have to catch me first you eight-legged freaks."
The spiders hissed loudly at this and surrounded her. Without thinking she swung her sword at one of them and for once she didn't bother herself with form or tricks. She just wanted to hurt something so she could stay alive.
Blindly she just hacked at anything around her but she knew she was lost when another load of webbing managed to knock her down and her sword fell out of her grasp.
She saw a spider near her with its poisonous fangs bared so he could bite her and she grimaced. It was not a pretty sight to see.
What was nice to see was the same spider falling dead on the ground, several arrows sticking out of its body.
Knowing the cavalry had come to her rescue Rita smiled and she tried to sit up but the webbing that trapped her to the ground made this impossible.
Then she heard a familiar voice as an elf crouched next to her, cutting her free from the thick webbing. "Only you could be able to find one of the last spiders nests in Mirkwood. If you were looking for adventure all you had to do was tell me and I would have taken you hunting."
"Very funny Legolas, it wasn't as if I planned this you know. Now be a nice elf and grab my left shoulder and hold it tight. Whatever you do, don't let go."
He nodded and with a quick twist she put her shoulder back into its place. A pop echoed through the glade and Rita stomped on the ground as the only outlet of her pain.
Some of the elves winced at the popping sound and only then did Rita notice the elves beside Legolas who had come to her aid.
"Not to sound ungrateful but what are you doing here?" she asked.
Legolas answered for them all. "We were out hunting when we heard the screech of a spider and decided to investigate. Then we heard you and saw you fight them before you were knocked down and the rest you know."
"Well thanks, to all of you, I would have been spider food if not for your help."
The elves nodded in acknowledgement and Rita got up with the help of Legolas. An elf called Mellas handed her sword to her and she cleaned it on her pants. They were ruined anyway.
"You fought well Voronwer." Mellas commented.
Rita snorted. "So well that I almost ended up dead."
Now Legolas interfered in the conversation. "You managed to kill a full- grown spider and a youngling as well. The other two you injured, though not lethally. You fought well my friend."
"Give me an orc any day, at least they are not so annoying to kill. Slice its neck, stab it through its heart. That's simple. These spiders are not only disgusting but they can talk as well. Talking spiders! What is that all about?"
She put her uninjured hand through her hand and grimaced when she felt the webbing stuck in her locks. That would take a long time to clean.
"You are bleeding." An elf whose name she didn't know exclaimed. When she looked at him in confusion he pointed at her midriff. "Your side, it's bleeding."
Rita raised her arm again and looked at her side. Hmmm, she was bleeding. "Funny." She said. "I don't feel a thing. I don't think it's that big of a deal."
"Let the healers be a judge of that." Legolas said and Rita was suddenly picked up and the elves rushed back to the castle.
Now Rita was not amused by this action. "Put me down you elf, I can walk it's probably just a nick or something. Let me walk."
But nobody listened to her and soon they reached the castle and they immediately took her down to the healing chambers, where there already a healer was waiting for her. Apparently one of the elves had ran ahead to warn them.
At once the healer and his assistant started to pull on her clothes and removed her shirt after they had sent the elves who had brought her in out.
They examined her shoulder and dabbed at the 'nick' on her side. It was more like a deep gash but Rita still had no idea what the fuss was about.
She was forced to drink some kind of tea and she had to act out silly things like touching her nose with her eyes closed.
Finally she had had enough. "You're all crazy, it's just a gash and a dislocated shoulder, not the end of the world."
"We are searching for any trace of poison Lady." The healer at last explained. "Many have fallen because of the after-affect of a 'gash', like you called it, because it was infected or poisoned."
Rita rolled her eyes. "I could have saved you the trouble you know, I made sure to stay out of the way of those nasty fangs. I'm not that stupid."
"It's merely a precaution." The healer assured her.
She sighed. "I guess its better to be safe then sorry. Is there any chance you'll let me go and give me a new shirt so I can take the bath I'm desperate for?"
The healer looked troubled and Rita decided to give him the brightest smile she could. "I promise to take it easy and if I have any sign of trouble I'll come and see you."
In the end the healer caved in and handed her a shirt, which was way too big for her but at least she had something to wear.
When she stepped out she saw a lot of people waiting outside and she raised her eyebrows. "There's a meeting and I wasn't invited? I'm hurt."
"Voronwer what are you doing out here, you should be resting." Mellas said.
Then there was rough chuckling and Gimli stepped forwards. "You are talking to the person who was up and about the day after she was badly beaten. She is too stubborn to do something as simple as resting."
"Thank you Gimli. . . I think." Rita muttered. "Now could you all just move so I can get out of here and clean myself up. I have a combination of webbing and mud in my hair and I'm afraid to even look in a mirror to see the damage that caused."
The small crowd parted and Rita quickly jogged to her room but she found the bathtub empty so she went out to find a maid.
She finally found a one in another hallway. "Miniel, could I please have some hot water for a bath and soap and hair-soap? Lots and lots of hair- soap please."
The she-elf gasped at her appearance and immediately ran off. Rita hoped it was to carry out her request and not out of fright for her image.
Deciding to wait in her room for that Rita walked back and in her room she managed to kick of her boots and put away her weapons away when there was an invasion in her room.
The queen was in front and behind her were more maids with hot water. They filled the bath while Araniel walked up to Rita.
"When Miniel told me you looked terrible she wasn't exaggerating. You look like. . . "
Rita finished her sentence. "Like I went and got caught up in a fight with some big spiders. That's exactly what happened."
"You were injured? Were you thoroughly checked for poison?" Araniel asked.
"The healer looked me over and let me go, I'm fine." Rita countered.
Then Araniel led her to the bathroom and helped her undress and step into the bath. The maids had all been sent away as the queen told them she would care for Voronwer.
Careful for her injuries Rita slipped into the bath and she closed her eyes at the relaxing feeling that came over her. She relaxed even more when she felt Araniel wash her hair for her.
She didn't know how long she had been in the tub but by the time the queen had finished with her hair the water was growing cold.
Araniel helped her dry and put a clean bandage on her wound before she helped Rita in a nightgown and pushed her in the direction of the bed.
"I'm not even tired." Rita objected. "Just let me get dressed so I can join you for dinner."
But the queen was not to be swayed from her decision. "You are injured and need to rest. I will send your meal to you."
For Rita there was no other choice then to follow orders and she slipped under the covers. "Fine, you win. I'll rest but I'm not going to sleep."
This pleased Araniel and she left the room. Rita looked around her room for a while and frowned. She was bored, she never had nothing to do.
Just when she was about to get up and get dressed there was a knock on the door and immediately after that Legolas stepped in the room with a tray in his hands and a book tucked under his arm.
"I have orders from my mother to insure you eat and stay in bed so that is exactly what I will do. Now make some room for this tray, I believe mother thought you were starving for the amount of food she had prepared for you."
Rita sat up and cleared a spot for the tray. Legolas pulled a chair up so he could sit next to her and grabbed a roll from they tray.
"Hey I believe that's my food you are eating." Rita joked but when she examined the tray more carefully she chuckled. "Though there's more then I would ever be able to eat. So help yourself."
She grabbed a roll and dipped it into honey before she ate it. She rolled her eyes in delight at the taste and soon the roll was devoured.
"I'm happy you are all right Rita." Legolas said after a long silence. "It would have been terrible to loose you after all we've been through during the war."
Rita chuckled softly. "It would have been silly, wouldn't it? I survived all the big bad battles only to be killed by hungry spiders. That would have been impressive."
"Those hungry spiders have been able to kill many of my kin." Legolas responded seriously. "They are far more dangerous then you can imagine. They are strong, swift and agile with poisonous fangs and keen sight. You were lucky to escape almost unscathed."
Growing serious as well Rita patted his shoulder. "I had these great elves watching my back and I was lucky. A combination that never fails."
The rest of the meal was spent in silence and somehow they managed to make all the food disappear between the two of them.
When the tray was put away Legolas ordered her to lie down and pulled out the book he had been carrying with him out.
"You asked about the spiders so I thought it only fair to tell you the tale of how the spiders first came to our forest." He opened the book to the first page and was about to start reading when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in." Rita said and the door opened to reveal Gimli.
"Just wanted to check if you were all right lass. But I see you are in good hands and about to rest so I'll just leave you be."
Rita tried to sit up again but Legolas prevented that. "No, come in Gimli. I'm not resting, Legolas was just about to tell me about the spiders, you can stay if you want. It's been a while since the three of us sat together and talked on our own."
"If neither of you mind. . . " Gimli saw Legolas shake his head so he pulled a chair up as well and seated himself on the other side of Rita's bed.
When they were all situated Legolas started to read for them. Because he knew Gimli couldn't understand Sindarin he told the story in Common.
Once again Rita felt herself being lulled asleep by Legolas's voice even though she fought it tooth and nail. Finally she gave in and the last thing she saw were her two friends standing guard over her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Again weeks passed by and spring had driven winter away. Rita was by now doing well in her lessons, good enough for her to finally start on the books in Thranduil's library.
It was rare to see Rita parted from a book when she could finally read them, though she still explored and trained. It was not uncommon to find Rita discussing a subject she had just discovered with one of the elves.
But it was Legolas who was the main target. And him being an elf and all, he answered all of Rita's questions patiently and he never tired of explaining things to her.
The thing that fascinated Rita most was the history of how the elves came to be in Middle Earth and the following kin-slaying.
She couldn't imagine that elves were once so bloodthirsty or cruel to some of their own kin, it went beyond her imagination for the elves she had learned to know were anything but that.
In a way both Rita and Legolas were content, it was Gimli who was getting fidgety. He longed for mountains, dwarves and his home.
The three were discussing plans for leaving in the dining hall when one of the scouts ran in the hall and straight to the king.
"Milord, there is word from Rivendell. Lords Elrohir and Elladan have come here bearing a message from their father Lord Elrond. Should I let them come before you now or should I escort them to a chamber so you can finish your meal?"
"Nonsense, let them enter. I have been expecting this message for some time." Thranduil said.
Rita's throat had gone dry and she had stopped paying attention the moment the elf had mentioned Elladan. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, how should she deal with this?
She decided to play it safe and risk no more harm to her heart so she slipped out of her seat as inconspicuously as possible and went out the backdoor, since the twins would enter through the front.
Forcing herself to walk slowly and quietly at first, Rita broke into a run as soon as she cleared from the dining hall. She didn't stop until she reached her room where she sank to the floor.
How was it possible that he still affected her? Rita scoffed at her own behavior, she had run from him, as if she were afraid of him. Being afraid was something Rita did not appreciate, not after all she had been through already.
Pulling herself together Rita changed into a pair of comfortable pants and shirt and walked to the library. She knew she wouldn't be able to eat if she were forced to and her mind was too active to even consider sleeping so she hoped that reading would take her mind off of things.
She wasn't expecting to find the library already occupied and she certainly didn't expect to find Anglas sitting there nursing a goblet of wine as he sat on one of the chairs, watching at the stars that were visible through the hole in the roof.
Debating whether or not to turn away Rita found this decision being made for her when Anglas focussed on her.
"Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to come in? It is quite annoying to see you standing in the doorway like that."
The thought that hit Rita first was that Anglas sounded completely sober, though he swallowed the wine in his goblet in one gulp.
Rita sat down in the chair opposite to Anglas and studied the prince in front of her. He seemed more at ease as he was sitting there, more approachable. So she decided to be bold.
"Why?" she asked him.
Anglas was confused. "Why what Voronwer? You make no sense."
"Why do you drink so much? Have you not found out by now that the drinks do nothing to alleviate your pain, that it returns as soon as the rush of alcohol had left your system?"
"I'm sure my little brother has told you all about the reason I drink like I do, he tells you everything does he not?"
Rita frowned, she knew this was threading on thin ice. "Legolas told me about your loss and I am sorry for you, it is hard to accept the loss of those you love."
"What would you know of such a matter? You are but a child." Anglas mocked.
"I know more about it then you'd be able to imagine. Tell me, have you lost your sister, brother, numerous good friends and the one you love in a time- period of less then a year?"
She didn't wait for him to answer and continued to rant. "My guess is you didn't so don't you dare speak to me like I have no idea what pain is. You are not the only one who has suffered Prince Anglas, with you there are many lost those they loved. Children who will never see their Ada again because he perished on the battlefield, mothers who will never hold their sons again. Do not be selfish to assume your pain is special."
Silence hung in the air until Rita sighed and dropped her head in one of her hands. "I apologize, I shouldn't have said that."
"Why should you apologize for saying something I am sure every elf has been wanting to tell me for quite some time?"
"Because I have no right to judge you for running away from pain when I am doing just the same. Do you know what I just did? I just ran from the dining hall because the one I love, the one I lost, was about to enter. Pathetic isn't it?"
Anglas looked at Rita and examined her. She had never been this open to him, she never spoke to him besides from the occasional good day. And he told her just this.
"Call it shock, I'll regret saying a word in the morning. Now seriously, you looked so sad sitting here and I wanted to help you and now here we are."
"Yes here we are." Anglas agreed and then he asked a question Rita did not expect. "Am I really that horrible and selfish?"
At first she didn't know how to answer this but she was able to formulate a sentence. "I haven't known you long enough to agree or disagree, but from the way Legolas talks about you, the way your mother talks about you, I would say no to that question. You are just trapped in a situation you can't get out of."
"That's one way of calling it. Do you know that I have tried time and again to stop drinking, but it never worked for the pain always became too much for me."
Rita frowned. "Tell me if I'm out of line but why don't you sail to Valinor? I asked Legolas the same but he didn't know."
"I would leave her if I were to leave these shores, I would dishonor her memory by leaving her behind, leaving the memories we shared in this very land."
"That's the biggest bunch of nonsense I have ever heard." Rita exclaimed. "You only pain yourself like this and tell me honestly, in your memories. . . do you recall the happy times you spent with your love?"
When he didn't answer her Rita knew she had hit the target. "The memories are in your heart, nothing can take them away from you and by leaving from here you wouldn't dishonor anyone in any way. Do you think your lady would have wanted you to suffer so for her?"
Then she stood up and walked to the door. "I didn't intend for this conversation to happen and you can reject all I have told you if you so wished, just do what your heart tells you to do." And she left the library.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Rita walked back to her room in a slow pace, now that conversation had been confusing. She couldn't believe she had the nerve to confront Anglas like she did.
So deep in thought she was that she didn't notice that there was someone following her. She was about to open the door to her room when her movement was stopped by a hand on her own.
Looking up at whoever it was Rita was shocked to see. . . "Elladan." She whispered.
"Rita." He nodded at her. "Would you please hear me out, I need to speak with you."
His eyes were so pleading and Rita could feel her heart break as she gazed into them. So there was no other way then to comply. "We'll talk but not here, lets go outside I need some fresh air."
She turned and started to walk towards the exit of the palace when she recalled the hand still on her own. She looked at it and then at Elladan. He seemed to get the message because he released her hand.
For some reason they encountered nobody on their way out and Rita led the way to a small clearing she and Legolas had discovered just the day before.
It was only 10 minutes away from the castle and the clearing was completely surrounded by trees so dense that one would only be able to find it if one were purposefully looking for it. It was completely sheltered.
The only reason they had discovered it was because Rita had been clumsy enough to trip over some branch she had overlooked and had fallen into the clearing.
In the clearing Rita sat against a tree and watched as Elladan hesitated to do the same. He just stood there, shifting from one foot to the other.
"Sweet Eru Elladan, will you just sit down. You're the one that wanted to talk so talk."
He dropped to the ground and opened his mouth, only to close it again and he closed his eyes and leaned against a tree next to Rita.
"I don't know where to start." He finally began. "Perhaps I should start by apologizing, for I have caused you pain after I swore I would never hurt you or let harm come to you. I have been a fool Rita, an absolute fool."
The urge to stay silent while he spoke was great but Rita wasn't cruel enough to do to him what he had done to her.
"You could say that. You broke my heart Elladan, shattered it into tiny little pieces." She saw Elladan wince and for some odd reason this made her feel a bit better.
"I know it is of little consolation but my heart is far from whole either." Elladan turned to Rita and looked deep in her eyes. "For the past few months there has been a gap in my heart, my life, without you. Never had I imagined such pain until I experienced it."
Rita drew a shaky breath and focussed her look on the tree behind Elladan instead of on his face. "You put yourself in the situation, it was you who turned away Elladan not me. I wanted to make it work but you refused to even speak to me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?"
"I think I can imagine Rita, if it was anything like the pain you caused me when you told me our relationship was over. I didn't understand then, not like I do now. Oh how I wish Ada had stayed out of my business, we wouldn't be in this situation now."
When he said this Rita focussed on his eyes immediately. "How did you know about that? The conversation between me and your father I mean."
"Haldir hinted at it when I asked him about you when he returned and I confronted Ada. He told me of what he had said to you and I became so angry. He is no longer my father, not after what he put us through."
Rita was shocked at the harshness in his voice and shook her head a little. "He did what he thought was best Elladan, you shouldn't punish him for that. He already lost your sister, don't make him loose you as well."
"He drove us apart melamin." Elladan exclaimed but he realized his mistake when he saw Rita stiffen at the endearment.
"Don't call me that Elladan, don't make me go through this again, I already shed too many tears on your account. And it was not your father who drove us apart but you."
Elladan grabbed her hands and held them tightly. "I would turn back time to change what I did but that is not within my power." He chuckled a little but the humor was far from his voice. "To think that it was my jealousy that drove me to doing what I did. Jealousy! A typical human emotion."
"What was there to be jealous about?" Rita exclaimed. "I loved you and only you."
"Yet it was not me you would turn to when you were in pain, not me to comfort you. It was not I who was able to convince you to return to me."
Rita was shocked. "This was about Haldir? About my closeness to him??" The tone of her voice was bitter when she spoke again. "I'll have you know that Haldir has been my rock. He would listen to me telling him about the hell my dad put me through, things not even you or Aragorn know of, and he would accept. He listened and listened and he knew I needed to get it out without any interruption from him. Without any anger or pity or any other emotion on my part. But he has never been more than my best friend, not ever."
"I knew this, know this, but it stung and Ada's words had planted a doubt in my mind like he planted one in yours. My heart and head were at war and in the process I drove you away and for that I am eternally sorry."
There was a silence that lasted for minutes on end, both were reluctant to break it until Elladan finally spoke.
"So where does this leave us Rita? What will become of us now?"
"I have no clue. All I know is that I'm going to roam Middle Earth with Legolas and Gimli until Aragorn passes and then Legolas and I will build a ship to sail to Valinor, where we will live for the rest of our days. Your place in this plan and my life I don't know."
Elladan gathered his courage and he moved his hand from hers and put it on her cheek. "Do you still love me melamin? Even after all I put you through, all you put me through?"
The warmth emanating from his hand and the pleading in his eyes were too much for Rita so she closed her eyes to get a grip on herself.
"I don't think I will ever stop loving you Elladan, but I don't think I can handle another heart-break, not again."
"I wouldn't cause you more pain, not if I can help it." Elladan vowed and Rita was pulled towards him like a moth was drawn to a flame.
She didn't know who initiated it but suddenly she could find his lips upon hers and any logic fled from her mind at this movement.
The kiss started out slow, both reveling in the feeling of closeness again, but soon turned more passionate when Elladan ran his tongue over her lips, begging entrance.
Rita shivered as she allowed his tongue in her mouth and he seized the moment to re-explore her mouth. His tongue ran over her teeth, over the roof of her mouth, over her lips, avoiding direct contact with her tongue.
Then he withdrew from her mouth and Rita had no other choice then to follow him as she explored his mouth like he had just done to her.
When she finished her examination she roughly attacked his tongue with her own as she buried her hands in his hair, pulling him closer.
More and more passionate the kiss became, it was like they were both parched for the other. Rita was in a daze in which she could only feel and not think.
Elladan's mouth on hers was heavenly and Rita felt her heart soar in her chest, she had come home at last. His hands clutched her tightly to him. One was resting around her waist, the other on her neck holding her close to him.
They lost their balance but were unwilling to let go of one another so they lay on the ground. It was only when Rita felt the weight of Elladan's body resting upon hers that she woke out of the daze and started to think again.
She pulled away from the kiss and rolled them in such a way that she could sit up again. She was panting. "What am I doing?" she whispered to herself but it was Elladan who answered her.
"You are doing what you have longed to do, what I have longed to do for months. You are giving our relationship another chance."
He moved to kiss her again but Rita put her hand on his mouth to stop him. "Is that what this is Elladan? A second chance? What will happen after this moment? I will travel with Gimli and Legolas and you will return to Rivendell."
"You could always return to Rivendell with me." Elladan suggested but Rita shook her head.
"That will not do Elladan, do you know why I chose to travel instead of staying in Gondor or even Lothlorien?"
He shook his head so she explained it to him. "I needed to find out who I was, needed to do something for me instead of for anyone else. If I return with you now I would loose that, I would return as your love not my own person. There is still a lot I have to discover about myself until I can consider living with you."
"I am willing to wait for you melamin. You can do whatever it is you wish as long as you return to me in the end."
Then he kissed her again and all thoughts of leaving were forgotten.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Ugh, I've had writer's block for so long so it won't surprise me if you think this chapter sucked. Please let me know!!!! I have no idea where the entire Elladan scene came from, it just popped up.