A/N: Emily: Welcome to 'Unfortunately We're Still Related.' If you are new to the Emily and George world then you might want to read the prequels before you get totally confused. Other than that we should just get started because…wow…this took a long time!

George: things have been a little hectic round here. Em got uber drunk after getting here GCSE results. I'm going back to Uni soon. Em is still hyper from meeting Haldir, Eomer, Glorfindel, Gil Galad, Theoden, Denethor, Rumil, Lurtz and other random characters. Em is also starting at a new college soon so updates will come but at a slightly slower pace.

Disclaimer: We own the right to embarrass ourselves but nothing else.

Chapter One – Y.M.C.A

The smog rose on the horizon as George approached the stronghold Edoras. He gripped his sword tightly anticipating an attack from the enemy within. It had been two days since the call for help had come and still the King of Gondor had no idea what foul beast broke the peace of the fourth age. Each step forward struck fear in the heart of even one as brave as George. A low grumbling caused George to speed up his entrance to the silent city, 'What abominable creature could stifle a city so?' He thought. He was brought back to reality with a startling growl. There before his very eyes a dragon writhed in anger daring him to come closer. George quelled the whimper that threatened to sound and unsheathed his sword. The dragon stalked closer, George could barely make out its scaly mouth which seemed to being trying to speak.

"George." It whispered.

George froze

"George!" It called again. "George wake up!"

George could feel something shaking him.

"George you prat we have to go!" George opened one bleary eye and saw Emily hovering above him holding a slipper "If you don't wake up I'll hit you with this slipper…oh you decided to join the land of the living. Come on we leave for Rohan in ten minutes!"

"Urm…I think I might give it a miss this time. You and Legolas go on ahead without me." Images of the dragon came flooding back.

"What?! It will be a cool new adventure. You've always said you were bored ever since we got back from Boz and Hal's wedding."

"That is not true; I was occupied for at least a month after that threatening Legolas with castration." Opposed George.

"Come on, it'll be exciting!"

"Adventure, excitement a Jedi craves not these things." Said George.

"Stop quoting Yoda!"

"I was actually quoting Silent Bob if you must know."

"Fine then, Kai will just have to come instead and what with the nights being so cold and me being a pregnant human I'll have to snuggle up to both…"

"Stop! OK I'll come but only if you swear you will stop using your sordid fantasies about Kai as threats. What happened to Kai anyway?"

"He returned to Mirkwood where he discovered his pin-up status and is now starring in other fanfictions."

"Cool."

……

"Are you sure you want to come?" Asked Legolas for the last time.

"Positive and besides I feel fine. I've got the mood swings under control, the cravings have stopped and it is another two months before the baby is due so quit asking." Assured Emily.

George mounted his steed Durex and followed Legolas and Emily, who were upon Arod, out of the Minas Tirith.

"How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?" Began George.

Legolas and Emily perked up at this after an hour's silence.

"Ooooh I don't know, how many elves does it take to change a light bulb?" Asked Emily excitedly.

"No I was asking Legolas, I actually want to know. I asked every elf at Helm's Deep but all I got was 'Shut-up I'm fighting or 'Ahhhhh, Ahhh' and then they sprayed me with blood and quit talking. I found out how many Uruk-Hai it takes, the dude said: 'un' which I assumed was German for one."

"And so leads me to ask why I still talk to you and what in all intense and purposes you want to know that for?!" Replied Emily.

"I'm re-writing the encyclopaedia of Arda with all the importance facts that were left out. I feel it is my duty as King to leave a legacy to my people. As if introducing Pogs wasn't enough!" Scoffed George.

"Would it be too much to ask for you to not talk until we reach the campsite?" Asked Legolas.

…….

"I need a piss." George crawled off his bedroll and wondered off to find a suitable bush.

The three had camped in a small dell which sheltered them enough to provide a good nights sleep. Their three bedrolls were positioned next to each other with George annoyingly in the middle.

"I hope they have a caterer at Rohan, I'd hate to go rescuing on an empty stomach." Thought George absent mindedly as he wondered back to camp.

George lumbered back into to bed and made himself comfortable. Just as he started to dose off he felt an extra weight strewn across his stomach which was promptly joined by another across his chest. George slowly opened one eye and looked down to find Legolas and Emily's arms trying to find each other in their sleep.

"Urh…guys…" George started to panic as the wandering hand of Legolas proceeded to dip lower.

The scream could be heard across Middle-earth, even the residents of Valinor were awoken by the cries of terror from both man and elf. However, one remained blissfully unaware of that night's occurrences.

Next morning…

"Why are you two so quiet this morning?" Asked Emily as she chewed on her lembas.

"mumblemumblegayboymumble." Replied George.

"mumblemumblewashmyhandmumble." Replied Legolas.

"Right well when you two decide that English is your preferred language let me know!" Emily threw her lembas on the floor. "What I would give for some pork scratchings and salsa dip."

"We will arrive at Rohan late tomorrow hopefully things are not too dire as to that they cannot satisfy your needs." Comforted Legolas who sat beside his wife.

"Do you think they will have those little pots of crème fraichs I can dip those pickles in?"

"I'm sure of it." Lied Legolas.

"Does anyone else feel queasy?" Gulped George.

……..

"Does anyone else get the feeling that we are lost?" Announced Emily.

"We are not lost." Affirmed Legolas.

"You would say that, you led us here." Countered George.

"I am an elf, we do not get lost."

"What about that time when we were looking for that beer train I overloaded?"

"Don't excuse my elf of being lost!" Shouted Emily.

"You started it!" Protested George.

"Are you saying this is my fault that we are lost?!"

"No! Huh?!"

"Change the subject!" Advised Legolas.

"Why?"

"Mood swing!" Warned Legolas who had bared the brunt of most of them over the last seven months.

"Mood swing! I've never had a mood swing in my life!" Screamed Emily.

"Sorry hunny, I didn't mean it like…" It was too late for Legolas as a well directed punch hit him square in the jaw.

Decking counter: Two

"So this baby then," Approached George carefully, "Will it have pointy ears?"

"Slightly pointed." Answered Legolas through a stiff jaw.

"It will be the cutest baby ever." Gushed the newly sedate Emily.

"Will it be immortal?"

"Will you stop calling my baby an it!" Snapped Emily.

"Galadriel reckons it… I mean the baby will be immortal, if not though your trick of popping back to earth and coming back renewed might come in useful." Informed Legolas.

"But wouldn't the baby have to be born on earth for that to work?"

"If you thought I was going to give birth without as many drugs to numb the pain as possible you were sorely mistaken! Legolas and I are taking a return trip to earth for the birth of our child."

"You don't think giving birth to an elf might be slightly suspect?"

"We'll be out of there before the nurses can say 'Your husband's got lovely eyes.'"

"You should have the baby in Amsterdam." Suggested George.

"Amsterdam?" Asked Legolas.

"People are very forgiving in Amsterdam, they won't even notice your freaky baby!"

Decking Counter: Three.

"The border of Rohan is right ahead." Announced Legolas.

For unknown reasons the dramatic Lord of the Rings music started up as the three 'saviours' of Rohan descended onto the plains.

"I love this music." Sighed Emily as Arod made his way over the border.

"It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A. It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A!" The Village people could be heard.

"What the fuck!" George looked round for any sign of his worst nightmare.

"Why can I hear the Village People?" Yelped Emily.

"Something is wrong. Very wrong." George scanned the horizon, Rohan had changed.

…….

A/N: Emily: sorry it is short but once it all gets going hopefully the chapters will get longer.

George: Hopefully?

Emily: I don't see you typing! Any how here are the thank yous for the prologue at the end of the other chapter:

Pretendingtobesane – There isn't a villain per say!

Ayiicaalime – Ah my irrational friend you will pay for that fictional character comment. Oh and sorry for adding to the baby boom it only just occurred to me.

Meg-the-sexy-beast – You might not be so pleased when you meet our Eomer. However, Karl Urban is wonderful in the flesh!

Elemmire Lomion – Whoops sorry! I love the name. Here is the not so quick update.

Random-Shiny – I loved the quotes especially the granny one. The Rohan mystery will be revealed soon.

Limpet666 – Craig Parker is lovely. He was sooooooooooooooo funny and he gave me a hug! Oooooooh and he did a really wicked impression of Orlando! If you want to know more email me and I'll rant forever!

Poolbum – Was this soon enough?!