Part Two

Afraid, he was. Jack O'Neill. He'd faced death before and now he felt like he was facing it again only this time he wasn't fighting it. What was wrong with him? He knew it wasn't about regulations anymore, they'd come too far and seen and shared too much.

It had dawned on him, his efforts to hide his feelings for Sam so deep inside had worked. Only it wasn't deep enough because her impending marriage had brought them to the surface with a vengeance. He couldn't sleep, he could barely eat without feeling sick and he couldn't carry out a conversation with anyone without biting their heads off, through no fault of their own. He was mad at himself and to some extent the world for letting this happen to him.

And he was afraid that he'd woken up from this nightmare too late.

Sam had given him his chance to do something, to say something.

When she told him she was engaged he didn't listen.

He didn't want to hear it but he did and as usual he hid the truth from her and himself.

"Daniel… what am I going to do?"

Daniel felt relief more than anything. His plan had worked, he finally got Jack to confess how much Sam meant to him, how much he needed her for his own sanity and everyone else's.

"Well first you're goin' to stop feeling sorry for yourself"

Turning around to look at Daniel, Jack said, "Did it take you long to think of that?"

"Do you want me to help put you out of your misery or not?"

Jack couldn't help a slight smirk appear on his face thankful Daniel was here to help him.

"Continue"

"Well first you've got to see how Sam feels, which we all know, even if she doesn't …yet."

"…What?"

"You've got to tell her what you've just told me!"

The very thought of telling Sam how he felt filled him with more fear than if earth was being invaded by the Goa'uld …he imagined anyway.

"That's the only way huh"

"aaa…I'm afraid so"

"That's gonna be hard Daniel"

"Jack I know you're scared, I also know that your not good at that …but this isn't just your happiness we're talking about here, the future happiness of everyone that has to come in contact with you"

"You're not helping Daniel"

Daniel smiled and then put his serious face on.

"Jack you have to do this, I mean….. I hope to god she's not as stupid as you and tries to ignore her feelings, but I trust her more than you.

Janet's over at her house now, she could be feeling the same as you, why not go over there now, I'll tell Janet to take a hike"

Jack couldn't help laugh at Daniel's last statement.

"YOU will tell Janet to take a hike, those exact words?"

"Ha yeah… are u kidding she'd kill me, in fact, no sex for a month maybe even forever …and then she'd kill me!"

"Is Janet in on this with you?"

"Well kinda, but she says not interfere, if it'll happen, it'll happen"

"She's right ya know"

"Yeah she is…… if she were talking about normal people but you and Sam aren't normal"

Jack new he was right.

"I'm calling Jan and you are gonna get in your truck and drive to Sam's house… now"

"Daniel…"

"Go!"

Jack went.

On his way to Sam's house the closer he got the sicker he felt in fact he wanted to pull over and throw up. But that was being melodramatic and that wasn't Jack.

"One house…two house…three house…shit I'm here!"

"Ok lights are on, of course the lights are on Jack it's only 7"

Knock, Knock

Sam opens the door and her eyes nearly pop out of her head at the unexpected visitor.

"Colonel"

"Carter"

Awkward silence. Jacks nervously rolling on his heels.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah sure, of course come in Sir"

"Thanks"

Jack walks into her living room and stands in front of her couch, not feeling like he should invite himself to sit down.

"Take a seat sir"

Jack realises that the formalities were not making him feel comfortable.

"Carter… can you call me Jack?"

"Okay"

Sam couldn't stop fidgeting and felt the need to keep rubbing her hands up and down her thighs until she realised what she was doing and clutched onto her knees. Jack noticed every move she made and realised he should get it all over and done with.

"Sam"

He stood up.

"Sam I'm not good at this"

Gesturing the space between them.

"This Sir..Jack"

"Cart..Sam. Why are you marrying Pete?

Sam was thinking to herself, "where is he going with this?"

"Because…"

Again, silently to herself "Why can't I say it …'because I love Pete'".

"Jack why are you asking me this?"

"If you say you love him, I'll go. But I don't believe you love him, at least not enough to marry the guy."

"I 'm getting married in a week Jack and you choose now to tell me this. Why? I know you don't like Pete, like my father you don't think he's good enough for me. You have no right to interfere in my decisions; it's none of your God damn business."

"None of my business maybe, but I'm not like your father and I don't…"

"You don't what Jack? You don't care? Or you do care but you don't know how to say it. Well I'm fed up Jack; I'm fed up with this 'I can't show my emotions, someone may think I'm human crap'"

As if he'd opened the flood gates he was now drowning in the current that was Sam.

"We can't all be like you Jack, some of us want a life… someone who will Love me. I need love Jack"

Jack didn't know how this was going to go, he just wanted to leave and forget all about it. But that would be running and he didn't want to be that guy who couldn't show his emotions.

"That's Bullshit Sam, this isn't some fairytale. We all can't have what we want all the time, believe me. And I wouldn't want anyone to be like me, one sad lonely bastard is enough in this world, or so I've been told. Sadder than that I wouldn't want anyone to have to have to got through the pain, everyday, of knowing that you love someone but you can't be with them even though they're standing right next to you. Because you think there are things out there more important than you and your shattered heart.

You love someone so much that you don't know the time of day when they aren't around. Above all that, when they are taken away from you, you watch yourself die because that's what they …you mean to me. You're my heart and soul Sam. I thought I lost them before I met you."

She could feel tears building in her eyes so she turned her back to him and said, "…….

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Ooooo! Cliff hanger! Never done that before! I hope I wasn't to dramatic 2wards the end; plz let me know what you think.

Thanks to all my reviewers so far, you've helped keep me going. Please review some more or I'll take a long time on Part 3!!