Chapter 6: Revelation
Morning sun drifted through the doorway of the small hut. It hung first on the wall, and then descended downward until it reached the eyes of the miko lying sprawled on a simple straw mat. Eyelids fluttered open, revealing a pair of raven eyes still glazed with sleep. They quickly gained focus. Kikyo pushed herself to a sitting position and yawned contentedly as her eyes swept the room.
She surveyed her new home proudly, simple though it was. In fact it was nothing more than four walls, a roof, and a doorway, serving no other purpose than providing her a place to sleep, eat, and keep her scant amount of possessions which were mostly given to her by the townspeople. Yet it was hers. It was a place she could come back to, day or night and no one could keep her away. She smiled and rose to her feet, and then changed out of her nightclothes and into her traditional outfit. Kikyo was forging a place for herself and becoming known and loved by the people. With a smile and sparkling eyes, she stepped through the door, and abruptly stopped dead.
Wind brushed her face and a dark scent was borne to her upon it. She couldn't smell it, but it produced a tingling in her mind that is familiar to only miko. Danger was near. Youkai were gathering. They were not in a killing frenzy yet, but she sensed that an attack was coming somewhere nearby, very soon, no more than a day away.
She had originally planned to visit the children down by the river, but that was quickly forgotten as she made haste to the home of Seikai. Stepping through the door of the slightly more elaborate home, she was disgusted to find him still asleep with the sun in the sky. She crouched and rested a hand on his shoulder.
"Seikai-sama, awaken." He stirred slightly, mumbled something about his mother, and rolled over. Kikyo tried again, much more firm. "Seikai-sama!" The old priest's eyes peeled open, and he stared at her stupidly before responding.
"Kikyo-san?"
"The sun has risen. The day has begun."
"Ehem…Yes indeed, it has. Have you come simply to wake me?"
"No, I have come to tell you that I am leaving the village for a day or two."
"Why? Is your soul becoming restless again?" He loved reminding her of her not-quite-living state, but she ignored it and continued.
"I sense something strange in the area, and I must investigate. You must watch the people for a few days until I return."
"Very well. Goodbye." He said and began to fall back to sleep. Kikyo knew he would tell the villagers that she abandoned them, but no one listened to him anymore, and she didn't think much of it. The people trusted her, and she knew it. She walked slowly out of the village in the direction of the black energy. She soon found herself standing at the stream where she stood just last night. She found that the trail led off in the direction that Eric had gone, but he was not among the youkai horde. She couldn't sense him though. She set her feet to the trail and began walking.
……………
Last night…
"Origins of Youkai?" I ask.
"Indeed," Sango's father says, "Youkai exist in stories told up to seven hundred years ago. There is no knowledge of them before that. Then, suddenly, there was an explosion of monsters. Beasts in the shape of animals began attacking human settlements wherever they could be found, and the land ran with blood and war. Shortly after, humanity discovered the secret of White Magik and were able to keep the youkai at bay, but they continued to ravage Japan and even China. Their numbers continued to multiply as unnatural occurrences scarred the land. Earthquakes. Massive Fires. Thunderstorms. Youkai also bred amongst themselves and their power increased still. The people of Japan struggled to hold on as war continued for centuries.
Then, three hundred years ago, different youkai began to appear. Instead of mindless beasts, they resembled humans, but were much more powerful and sought to enslave humanity.
Today, youkai are everywhere. Some hate humans, others love them. Some feed on humans, others protect them. In many places, youkai lords rule the land and enforce their iron will upon human and youkai alike. In others, wild youkai kill everyone they come across. They are very much a part of our world.
Yet some things are changing. There are many more hanyou in the world than there used to be. Youkai and human are starting to learn the ways of peaceful coexistence, but there is much more work that needs to be done." He gives a sigh, and then ceases his monologue.
"Okay, so you're saying that youkai just came out of nowhere? Do you know where they came from originally?"
"No. We were hoping you could tell us."
"Wha…what the hell are you talking about?"
"The storm that brought you here several days ago wasn't always such a novel occurrence. Storms such as that were once all too common, wiping out villages and towns almost daily. And after, there was always a strange man or woman seen descending from the clouds. This was not the only disaster. There were massive fires that burned many acres of land. Men and women were seen walking from these. There were earthquakes that split the ground. Men and women were seen climbing from the cracks. The one correlation is that these men and women always became youkai, without exception."
I…don't know what to say. Do I really believe this guy? If what this guy is saying is true, it means…no! I don't want to…can't think about this…
"They always became monsters? That can't be right! Every youkai came in that way?"
"They either arrived in these disasters, or they are the descendents of those who came. You came here the same way that the first youkai did. Wherever you are from, so are they."
"Then…you're saying…all youkai were once human, and came from Earth! My Earth! No! I don't believe it! No!!!!!!!!"
And with that I run, screaming, out of the hut, and out of the village. I run until the place is far behind me. I run until I escape the stares, the shouts, the ridicule. I run so fast even my cursed youkai muscles are tired, even my God Damned Fucking Youkai lungs are out of breath. I run until I drop from exhaustion.
I drop in a forest, as expected, since that's all there seems to be around here.
Seething with rage, I pound my fist into the earth again and again. When that does not dissipate my anger, I rear up and attack the trees, cursed claws slashing through the living wood.
That's all I'm for, isn't it?!!! Destruction, pain, death! Youkai are good for nothing but killing something! AND I'M FUCKING ONE OF THEM!!!!!!!
I swing my claws harder and faster. They cut through everything within a hundred feet. Unwittingly, I charge them with magik and launch a claw attack, cutting furrows in the lush grass. I destroy until not even that feels good. Finally, I just sink to the ground, disgusted.
Disgusted with this destruction, disgusted with this place, disgusted with the world that bore me, disgusted with myself. And most of all, disgusted with the fact that the youkai that have caused so much pain in this world were all human, just like me. The humans that I grew up with.
I should have seen it from the beginning. Should have recognized the similarities. Humans of my world are just like youkai!
We are guided by our most base urges and follow them without remorse. We are violent, uncaring bastards. We work together sometimes, but when it suits us, we will kill any of our own kind. We are liars, murderers, and rapists.
And here, this place reveals who we really are.
I jump to my feet when I sense footsteps.
"S-Sango…" I quickly wipe my cheeks, stained red not with stripes, but with bitter tears. She's walking closer to me. Strangely, her expression has softened slightly, and she looks at me with more caring eyes.
"You…ran off so quickly, so my father sent me after you…"
"To do what?! To kill me? You know what? Go ahead, I don't give a damn. I don't care about living if it has to be like this…I just don't care anymore…" I turn away, and the tears threaten once again. I clench my fist to hold them back, until blood leaks from my hands. Stinging pain clears my eyes and brings back my senses.
"Father doesn't want to hurt you, not since you've helped us."
"How the hell did I help?"
"Now that we know where the youkai came from, and what they used to be, we better understand them."
"I'll never understand myself."
"…."
"Hey Sango?"
"Yes?"
"How did this happen?"
"How did what happen?"
"This transformation, and me jumping worlds. And how come people in my world don't know about the disappearances? There must be thousands of youkai here, yet no one seemed to notice that thousands of people were missing from my world."
"We know very little about the nature of youkai transformation. I…I am very sorry."
"It's no big deal. Tell me one thing: have any youkai ever been able to go back? I mean, have any of them ever disappeared in a storm or a fire or a quake?"
"I have no idea. Youkai and human are extremely divided. One race doesn't know what's happening with the other. If it has happened, I have never seen it."
"Great." I fall silent until Sango turns to leave. Who knows where she's going. It's not like I care really. I don't know if I'll ever care about anything again, or if I'll even keep the will to live. In one world, I'm ignored and oppressed, and in another I'm hated. It just doesn't seem fair; will I ever find a place that feels like home?
Of course, it's not like I'm innocent or anything. I've not guaranteed a one-way ticket to hell, at least not yet, but I don't think I'm bound for the Pearly Gates either. I've defiled myself with my fair share of women, beaten up a lot of people that were much weaker than me, stolen what I couldn't afford ( and that was pretty much everything), and overall been a real bastard to people in general. It's not like I'm proud of what I'm done; in fact, I really hate myself for it. I just did what I wanted at the time, unaware or uncaring of what would happen to myself or others. I guess now it's come back to haunt me: my twisted thoughts and deeds turning me into a hideous beast.
And that brings me to the one-trillion dollar question: What Now? I can't go back, and I'm sure I won't be able to stay in the Taiyja village, so where do I go? How will I take care of myself? I need guidance and help. Hell, I haven't eaten in two days! If this keeps up, it will be impossible for me to survive. Maybe I could talk to Sango…
Speaking of her, where did she run off to? Probably home to get some sleep. Damn, I'm pretty tired myself. This has to have been the most hectic three days in anyone's life!
I leap up into a nearby tree, take a position on a big wide branch, and quickly nod off. When I wake up, hopefully everything will make some damn sense….
………..
Staying low and masking her scent, Kikyo stalked forward through the bushes, her body cloaked with a special spell to hide her from the senses of nearby youkai. It was late afternoon, and the youkai gathering was almost complete. They were everywhere, drifting through the clouds, encircling the treetops, and skittering along the ground. A massive horde was here, a number close to a thousand. However, this was not just a group of hunters. They hardly came together in an army like this, and Kikyo needed to know what they were planning.
Kikyo knew that youkai were almost mindless, and cooperation among them was impossible unless a greater mind could turn their destructive energies to a useful end. This struck fear into her heart. Nothing was more dangerous than a clever, devious youkai. She extended her senses into the wild, trying not to give away her position to the youkai only twenty feet in front of her. She searched, and searched, and searched. Then she found him. The leader of the horde.
She gasped in surprise. This youkai's power and intelligence were incredible! But this was not what shocked her. The youkai was not a youkai at all. The leader of this horde was a hanyou.
A hanyou clad in a white, ragged baboon pelt.
She had never seen him before. Yet why did this one make her feel a glimmer of recognition? She pushed the thoughts away and brought her concentration back to reconnaissance. As she scanned the area with her acute miko senses, she found their target. A village where the people devoted themselves to the arts necessary to wipe youkai from the Earth: The Village of the Taiyja.
Kikyo ducked into the bushes and waited. She could do nothing to a number this large. Therefore, she decided, she must wait until an opportunity to strike at the leader of this band.
……….
The chirping of the birds is fading, and the crickets are beginning their song. Night has fallen.
I open my eyes in the dimness, and quickly sense that all is not well in the world. Everything looks all right, yet something is off. I smell something strange. Now what can that be?
I look in all directions, and then I look up.
The answer is obvious: Youkai. They drift by overhead, the vanguard of the approaching force. They are making haste to the Taiyja village, only a few miles away!
So this is it? Damn it…I never warned Sango about the trap! Oh SHIT....This is not good. Sango and her family are going to get slaughtered at the lord's castle, and the rest of the Taiyja will get slaughtered in their own village. I have to do something…but which way do I go? I could go to the village and save more people, but if I leave Sango, it will cause her unimaginable pain! I could help someone who helped me, or choose the many over the few.
Surprisingly, the decision is quick, but not painless. The pain of my choice will follow me to the end of my days.
Flexing claws, and cocking my feet to run, I take off…running at full bore toward the village. Naraku…you're mine, asshole!
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Just a little note on the character of Eric. I know I said this is a self-insert, but that's only partly true. The stuff I wrote about 'myself' in this fic isn't true. I've never done any of those things, but the idea was to make Eric something like my evil twin. This has a purpose. Anyway, I hope this clears up any confusion or disgust with me personally.