Nasuada chortled with stiff amusement, her eyes showcasing that she hardly found Hal's confession funny. "I don't know what kind of joke you intend on playing, but I recommend you keeping such humor to yourself."

Murtagh felt his throat tighten as Hal flinched beside him, somewhat shocked by Nasuada's rather casual dismissal of such of confession. Of course, no one in their right mind would take such a thing as fact, but to ignore it almost entirely…

Murtagh wanted nothing more than to brush it off as well, pretend Hal had said nothing and move on with the conversation. But he did not want to undermine her bravery in making such a confession, and gave her a quick look of reassurance before adding, "It is not a joke, your majesty."

His somber admittance silenced the room for several, long moment, Nasuada studying him with narrowed eyes as she tried to gauge his countenance. Slowly, she began to laugh, her face torn between forced disbelief and fearing their seriousness. "Like I said, the joke is not funny. If Halen were a Shade, she'd look like one."

"You know we would not joke about something like this," Murtagh replied, his voice grave. He did not fully comprehend why he insisted on them knowing the truth just because Hal had confessed it. Perhaps he did not wish to demoralize her, even if he truly thought her mad. But he also thought of how much Hal struggled to accept this part of herself, especially when she was forced to hide it in shame. She would never blossom under such conditions. She needed to stand in her truth, just as Murtagh had needed to stand in his. Regardless, he did not want to appear as though he doubted her or didn't trust her or was ashamed. So, affirming what she had said was all he felt he could do.

Nasuada looked at him closely, confusion and apprehension heavy in her brown eyes. "What are you two trying to tell us exactly? How can you so carelessly call Hal a Shade when she stands before us as nothing more than a mere human?"

"Because it's the truth," Hal insisted, looking frightfully ill even as she took an emboldened step forward. "Please know that I mean no ill will. I just…I didn't know how to tell you because it's not something I fully understand, even now."

"We didn't know how to tell you," Murtagh corrected gently. "I was also aware and chose, for Hal's own sake, to say nothing."

"I'm sorry, I don't fully grasp what's happening," Eragon said, leaning forward in his seat. "Murtagh, Halen, are you truly confessing that Halen is a...a Shade?"

"Hal was turned against her will by Thea. And against the will of the spirits used as well — and that is another complicated detail too. The spirits were those of people who once lived as well. Similar to how Thea used the souls of the dead here in Ilirea."

Everyone looked even more confused and Hal rubbed the back of her neck, already regretting speaking up. "When my people were slaughtered by Galbatorix, their souls remained on Uden. I don't know why or how, nor did they. But most, if not all, had magic like me. We all descend from the same beings. People who existed around the same time as the Grey Folk, but for some reason were forgotten altogether. Thea's magic was able to bind the souls to my body, even though we were all unwilling. Somehow, we have managed to co-exist in this body."

"Your magic," Eragon breathed in understanding.

Hal nodded. "It is not just mine anymore. When a person becomes a Shade, they gain magic. When a magical person becomes a Shade, their abilities are amplified. However, Thea entrapped me with hundreds of souls with magic of their own. Our kinship somehow made the bond stronger. So my magic is not only amplified because I'm a Shade, but I can tap into the magic, or rather the energy, of my people as well. Therefore my magic is —"

"Unprecedented," Eragon finished for her.

"I knew it," Trianna stated, looking excited rather than afraid or concerned. "I knew it! That would explain why I felt so uneasy searching your mind. I couldn't quite place it at the time, but it was as if I was sensing more than one presence. I knew there was something wrong with you—"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Hal snapped defensively. "I'm the same person I was before. Just…different."

"Different, how?"

Hal took a deep breath, clearly steeling her nerves. "All I'm aware of is that my senses are enhanced. I admit I don't know much else yet, like about my lifespan or if I can only be killed by a blow to my heart. But in magical and physical abilities, I am stronger. I haven't fully been able to master my magic yet but I'm getting better —"

She caught Murtagh's desperate gaze and immediately fell silent, understanding the panic behind his eyes. Although perhaps now it was too late. Everyone would now be left with the thought, the realization, that Hal was not yet at her full capacity. Seeing as what she had done already, what would she possibly be capable of in the future with time and practice?

The silence that met her confession was stifling, and Murtagh could hardly catch his breath. He looked from Nasuada to Eragon, trying to gauge and understand what was going through their minds based on their facial expressions. But they both were too diplomatic to wear such thoughts so obviously.

"Why should we believe you?" Nasuada asked. "And before you answer, remember that you are under oath, Murtagh. I'm tired of being lied to. I want the truth."

"I do not wish to be confrontational, your majesty," Hal interjected, drawing Nasuada's attention, "but I must remind you that you have already sworn to not take out any punishment against Murtagh and Thorn. If you have any questions or concerns, they are best left to me instead, since I am the individual most impacted by such matters."

Nasuada did not look at all deterred as she turned to Hal and gestured with her hand. "By all means, Hal, please continue."

Hal took a wary breath, carefully avoiding Murtagh's glances. In a low voice, she began to detail the incidents that they had carefully left out: Hal's torture by the Ra'zac which unlocked her magic, and everything that took place on Uden. She spoke of fleeing his side to keep him safe, of confronting Thea and learning that the Shade was her younger sister, once believed dead. She spoke of Thea's magic and how it was used to force the spirits and Hal into a binding contract neither could escape, and how she woke up three days later with these new abilities. The room was awfully quiet, leaving every quiver in her voice and every hesitancy up for grabs and speculation. It was, perhaps, the longest ten minutes of Murtagh's life. Ten minutes to explain an incident that had changed Hal's life forever. It felt wrong.

When Hal finally finished, Nasuada had taken several steps back, perhaps out of both shock and disgust. It seemed that the truth had finally cemented themselves in the queen's mind. Hal seemed to want to take a desperate step towards her, but Trianna swiftly moved in front of the queen to protect her, her face settling for a confrontation. Hal hesitated, growing smaller as the stares and silence prolonged.

"I want it to be known that Hal, as always, has my full support," Murtagh added, filling the tension with his declaration. "Just as she stood by my side, I will stand by hers. And I feel inclined to remind you all that being a Shade is not a crime. She has done nothing wrong and does not deserve to be punished for what was done to her."

Eragon sighed loudly, scratching the back of head as if unable to fully comprehend their story. "This is far more complicated than I could have foreseen," he said, his voice rather soft. He didn't seem angry or repulsed. Merely tired and, perhaps, a bit stunned. Murtagh could understand that much, at least.

"Was anything you told me true?" Nasuada asked, looking to Murtagh as if Eragon hadn't spoken.

"Your majesty?"

"Six years, Murtagh. Six years you've been gone, not a word to be heard from you. And in a matter of months, you have undermined my authority, jeopardized my rule, lied to my face —"

"I did what I had to do to protect someone I cared about. I will not apologize for that. Perhaps if you had governed people who were less inclined to form illicit mobs at their own fruition, I would have felt more comfortable with the truth early on."

"I apologized for that behavior!"

"AND TURNED AROUND AND LET HAL BE ATTACKED BY SPIES IN YOUR HALLS JUST TO LURE OUT THE BLACK HAND!" Murtagh's voice was rising now, aware that Hal was on the verge of tears. "You have not given me a single reason to trust you with Hal's life. Why would I do anything that puts it in your hands."

Nasuada was about to retort in kind when she caught herself, and a flash of pain in her eyes betrayed her. Whatever she had been about to say, it was not about the matter at hand. Murtagh looked away. Whatever her personal feelings, he had no right to them. The only person's whose feelings he cared about stood behind him now.

"Nasuada," Eragon began gently, "I must remind you that we are in no position to pass judgement, presuming what they have said rings true. And I have a hard time believing either she or Murtagh would weave such an elaborate tale for humor or to cause you discomfort."

"And Eragon, I wish to remind you that you chose not to remain in Alagaësia," Nasuada warned him. "Therefore, the concern is mine to bear, not yours."

There was a pregnant pause in which Eragon took a deep breath, clearly indignant by her words but trying not to let it show for the sake of diplomacy and friendship. "Normally I would agree. But I cannot let prejudice cloud your judgement. Lest you forget that it was you who convinced me that we needed to form an alliance with the Urugals, who slaughtered many humans, including your father."

"Your point?"

"My point being that we have learned before that not all is simply as black and white as we first assume. The Urugals became a much-needed ally. And we both believed them once lost beyond saving. At least I did, anyway.

"We must extend the same courtesy to Hal now," Eragon continued. "Murtagh is right: she has not broken any laws. And from my understanding, she has not taken a life or even been suspected of conspiring against you. It would be unwise to treat her as an enemy now after all she has risked to not only tell you about the threat, but to expose herself to you now. It took much courage to speak her truth as she has, just as it took much courage for Murtagh to turn himself in. Such bravery cannot and should not be ignored out of ill-placed spite and fear."

Nasuada didn't look convinced, her jaw tightly set as she thought through her options. She also did not seem to appreciate being reprimanded by Eragon, even if it was slightly. After a while, she looked to Hal and asked, "How many others know outside of us?"

"Only Invidia and Blödhgarm," Hal stated quietly. "Not knowing how it would be received, we opted to tell no one. But I swear, there was no ill-intent behind such secrecy. Only concern for my safety and Murtagh's ability to earn his pardon. I did not want his association with me clouding your judgement of him and Thorn."

"Your majesty I must protest," Trianna began, stepping forward. "They could be lying, again. The information they've withheld grows more dangerous by the moment. If word gets out that you knowingly let a Shade into the city —"

"Assuming the information gets out at all," Nasuada interrupted, her expression pinched. She looked less and less like she wanted to finish this conversation.

"That does not mean we can condone their actions!" Trianna argued. "You would not let such things slide with anyone else. We are still confronting whispers that you have been soft on Morzansson and many are still not fully convinced he is not worthy of suspicion. After the attack on the city that coincided with his sudden appearance, it would be irresponsible to ignore further signs of possible treachery."

"Then if you must punish anyone, punish me," Hal stated clearly, squaring her shoulders, her eyes pleading to the room.

He reached for her. "No, Hal —"

She shook him off without once taking her eyes off Nasuada and said, "Murtagh had no part in what happened to me on Uden. He and Thorn arrived when it was far too late and there was nothing that could be done."

"He could've plunged a dagger into your chest and spared us all of such troubles," Trianna muttered.

Murtagh could see the way Hal flinched at that, the hurt impossible to ignore. Murtagh couldn't' loosen his tongue to speak, Trianna's words taking him back to that awful place. Watching and waiting, unable to decide if he was strong enough to do it if Hal did turn. For those terrifying days, the world had stopped for the first time in his life. Even the memory of it all was enough to undo him, making him fumble to respond.

But before he could speak up, Eragon gently said, "I imagine that was hard for you to do, Murtagh. Seeing as how Hal looks as she always does."

Murtagh turned to look at his brother. Nothing was said, but in that moment, something passed between them. Eragon then looked over and Murtagh followed his gaze to see Hal now watching, her expression guilt-ridden. Murtagh squeezed his fingers into tight fists, his jaw clenching at the memory of it all. Something about Eragon immediately knowing, and speaking as if he understood, and Hal confronting something he knew scared her more than perhaps anything, made Murtagh want to drop to his knees and beg on Hal's behalf. Made him want to cry. The memory of her still in his arms, terrified she would turn, afraid that she wouldn't. She had been unwilling, it was not her fault and she should not suffer the consequences of such a stigma.

"By the time Murtagh would have realized Hal was changed, it would mean she would have had to have been awake," Eragon continued, his chin in his hand as her brows furrowed in deep though. "Hal says she was unconscious for a while after the ordeal and did not fully understand that Thea's spell had even worked until she woke. Without her physical appearance changing, Murtagh would have no way of knowing the success of the spell either until Hal was conscious. By then…how could any of us suggest he take her life? To anyone outside of himself and Invidia, it would have looked like murder."

It would have felt like it to. But Murtagh kept that thought to himself.

The silence that followed Eragon's spiel was frightfully uncomfortable. Trianna seemed to have nothing more to say, her face torn between frustration and indecisiveness — of what, Murtagh could not know. Nasuada looked equally torn, but she also appeared angry, and Murtagh feared her wrath.

"As a private citizen, Halen has indeed broken no laws," Nasuada said at last, her tone stiff. "And I have no right to force a private citizen to reveal private information about their lives. While I find this confession troubling for a myriad of reasons, I would not be in the right to act on a hunch with no proper evidence. Therefore, Halen, I excuse you. Murtagh, however, I wish to speak to further."

"But your majesty —" Hal began, her voice rising in panic.

"Do not test my patience right now, Halen. I may have agreed not to punish Murtagh and Thorn, but that does not mean they are absolved of being reprimanded. I can't take action against you because you're a citizen and have sworn no oaths; however, I do still have the authority to remind you that you are in this room because I allowed it. And now I am revoking that privilege. I'm sure Albriech and Baldor brought you here. Please have one of them escort you back to your room. I will send Murtagh when I am through with him.

He could see the fight leave Hal, the reality that she was being rejected — the one thing she feared most — delivering a crushing blow. Murtagh moved to reach for her but she hugged herself, blinking back tears as she bowed her head respectfully. "Yes, your majesty."

…

I don't know what I expected, Thorn muttered, but that was perhaps as worse as it could've gone, short of them locking Hal up.

Murtagh rubbed his temple, trying to nurse a tension headache. I know. It's not like I expected applause, but they were being intentionally obtuse. Hal saves the whole goddamn city and yet they insist it's a trick. I expected such bullshit from Trianna, but I did not think Nasuada would react as harshly as she did.

At least Eragon seemed to understand.

Indeed. That had been rather unexpected. He still recalled the moment he and his brother locked eyes, and Murtagh swore something had shifted between them. A new thread that could be nurtured into a proper bond, given time. Eragon had not jumped to his defense like that before, and he barely knew Hal and defended her as well.

How bad is she? Murtagh asked Thorn.

I do not wish to alarm you, but you should brace yourself. Despite trying to focus on what Nasuada was saying, my bond with Hal let me know that she is making herself sick with worry. Do what you can to alleviate her stress.

Thank you for telling me. I intend to do just that.

The morning sun quickly approached as Albriech led Murtagh back to his room, casting curious and nervous glances at the rider. Baldor had escorted Hal back hours prior, and it was obvious the blonde-haired man wanted to ask what had happened. But Murtagh kept his expression neutral and his thoughts to himself. Baldor greeted him upon his return and all he said back was, "We've had a long night. Can you make sure Hal and I are not disturbed for a while? Please let Juliet know she can give our morning rations to the children."

"Of course," Baldor agreed. "We'll take care of it."

"Thank you. Both of you."

He was exhausted from lack of sleep as he entered the room, closing and locking the door behind him. Hal, having changed back into her nightgown, was already on her feet, eyes red and swollen from crying as she fidgeted nervously with her fingers. For a moment, his eyes studied the scars on her hand. He had grown accustomed to them, but Hal revisiting her torture made them stand out once more. He looked away before she noticed.

"How bad is it?" she asked him, voice cracking as he yanked off his boots. He was grateful for the roaring fire, only now realizing how chilled he was from the lack of heating in Nasuada's office. "Please be honest, rider. My stomach has been in ruins for hours now." When he remained silent, Hal's voice became frantic. "Nasuada promised you and Thorn wouldn't get into trouble. I swear, I'll never forgive myself if anything happens to either of you or your pardon —"

Murtagh approached her with a slow, tired gait that hid his true motives. He cut her off with a searing kiss that was anything but subtle. He did not know if it was left over from before he and Hal had been interrupted, stress from the last several hours, or just complete desire caused by Hal's unwavering commitment to brave yet foolish honesty that he loved so dearly. All he knew was that he craved her, the heat of her and the comfort it gave him. He was too wound-up to speak just yet. He first needed to release the tension Hal's sudden confession had built in him.

He eased her back onto the bed in a sitting position before positioning himself between her legs. His mouth commanded hers with perhaps more force than he would've usually intended. But, after recovering from her initial surprise, Hal responded with an almost desperate touch of her own. This moment felt different than the others, but not because of what had preceded it. Perhaps it was because for the first time, every touch of his felt natural. Gone was the awkward fumbling and the eager nerves. He pushed up the material of her gown with haste.

Murtagh needed her wet and wanting, and he dropped to his knees with more force than intended. He barely felt it. He didn't feel like being teasing or cute. His mouth latched onto her center, his tongue darting between her folds as he buried his face between her legs. A long, guttural moan filled the room, but Murtagh couldn't even tell if it was his or hers. The tension fell from her body with each stroke of his tongue inside her, each brush of his lip against her clitoris.

Each thrust of her hips against his mouth made him ache to touch himself. His erection was straining against the material of his pants, envious of all that his lips and tongue took for themselves. He had never felt so purely greedy and selfish until this moment. He had initiated this for his own need. His own benefit. Yet all the same, Hal unraveling before him continued to blur the line of who controlled who.

She was so wet. So absolutely divine. So absolutely close to cumming because her hand had begun to reach for him. He pulled away from her then, and the gasp that left her was a mix of surprise and devastation. However, as her hand fell back to the bed and her eyes followed him as he rose to his feet.

He watched her hand fall between her legs, rubbing herself in anticipation and to keep her body primed and ready. His hands slowed for just a moment, entranced by the sight and stunned at the depths of his own arousal for his wife. When his erection sprang free, he heard the small, sharp inhale Hal made. Despite his urgency, he felt a flicker of hesitation. A moment of doubt. To take something from her for such a selfish reason, even if it was willingly given, had never sat right with him. Everything he had wanted for them had been about an equal partnership. Together, as they always reminded one another.

She had stopped touching herself at his indecisiveness, watching him expectantly. Hal, who would normally beg, who would tease him, or simply say his name in a moment like this, was absolutely silent. He knew it was because he had started this. He had marched in here fully intending on fucking her. He hadn't wanted sweet. It hadn't even really been for her benefit, although he absolutely wanted her to benefit from it. But right now, he needed something that would match his emotions.

He stepped closer, her eyes seeming even bigger as he looked down at her. The stress and fear that had greeted him at the door was momentarily forgotten. Her gaze, her entire focus, was solely on him. That realization quieted his mind once more and he felt his own doubt vanish.

He let one hand rest upon her cheek, his thumb stroking the warm skin that had grown flush. Her eyes seemed darker, a haze of lust, trust, and devotion directed at him.

Only and always, for him.

His finger ran across her lips which parted for him. His heart hammered in his chest at the thrill as he gently eased his thumb into her mouth. And without looking away, Hal carefully bit down, trapping it between her teeth before stroking it with her tongue. He leaned in closer, bracing himself on the bed as Hal herself reached for his weeping erection, guiding it to her entrance which waited for him with similar anticipation.

Hal whined with pleasure as he fit himself between her legs. There was no gentle build-up. He went straight for what he wanted the moment he felt his cock twitch inside her. An insane possessiveness swept over him then. Half driven by the protective fury he had felt in that office, along with that bitter fear for her, he sought to reclaim this woman for himself. Hal was his. His wife. His best friend. His lover. It didn't matter what label anyone slapped on her or why. The only label that mattered to Murtagh was one.

"You're mine," he snapped, his voice sounding almost harsh because it had deepened with lust. "You hear me? You're mine, Halen."

He closed the distance between them and kissed her hard, still thrusting between her legs as he cradled her lower back, keeping her upper body angled as her legs remained spread.

Her hands were on his chest and stomach, gripping his tunic as if she were holding on to him for dear life. He didn't know how he knew, but the angle, his tempo, the pressure, it all felt right. It felt perfect. The energy surrounding them felt wild, like raw magic. And he shuddered at the way Hal's body embraced him, the way she clung to him. Her body had responded so quickly to his advances, and he could've sworn her sex was growing more slick as he pressed the top of his hips between her legs, causing her to throw her head back with a euphoric cry of pleasure that nearly undid him completely.

"Say it," he told her, although his voice sounded more like a whine of need. "Say you're mine."

"I'm yours," she panted. "I'm…oh, fuck. I'm…fuck."

Her breathing hastened with each thrust and he felt the familiar squirm in her body as she grew close to release. His fingers lightly gripping her neck, he could feel how erratic her pulse had become, her pupils so dilated that her gaze was nearly black. Panting with his own exertion, he could not help but watch her face transform as her orgasm overtook her. She cried out and he closed his eyes, committing the sound to memory as he felt her body tighten around him. He kept his tempo just as it was and watched, transformed, as Hal was hit with another wave. Or perhaps a bigger one. Her eyes rolled back and a keening cry was ripped out of her throat. And just like that, he was falling hard and fast right behind her.

Just as quickly, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of them trying to catch their breath, Murtagh having collapsed on top of Hal. Part of his brain made sure to remind him that this was the first time she had come, and he wished the circumstances surrounding such a moment weren't fueled by stress. But he still could not deny how much more satisfying it felt. How fucking good it felt. Eyes closed, he felt like his body was imprinting the last few minutes to memory, his skin humming still from the feel of her. He slid his fingers into her hair, turning her face towards him and pulled her in for another kiss.

"My beautiful, beautiful, Halen," he whispered against her lips. "My exquisite and beautiful wife." He let his lips fall and land as they desired, kissing every inch of her face as she caught her breath. Her eyes remained closed as he showered her with devotion, quietly thanking her for letting him have his way. Letting him take this moment for himself so that he could remember why he did this all for her in the first place. Words were not enough to describe how dearly he loved her. Actions would never capture how far he would go for her. He would stand between her and any who dared threaten or tear her down, as both sword and shield, even if he himself had neither.

"I'm sorry, Murtagh."

He was adjusting her skirts, gently pulling them back down when she spoke up and pulled him out of his thoughts. Murtagh lifted his head to find tears leaking from the corner of her eyes, falling into her hairline. Their moment of bliss and isolation had ended. Reality and all those who stood in it had returned.

"Hal, why are you apologizing. Nothing happened. We're okay, iet dunei."

She shook her head. "I thought I was helping. I thought…I don't know what I thought. Nasuada will never trust you now and it's all my fault. And she hates me, I could see it in her eyes. She was scared of me, Murtagh."

He couldn't offer up any sort of response to this. He watched as Hal threw her arms over her eyes and began to sob. Sweet, gentle, selfless Hal. His Hal, who had pulled him out of the dark with such compassion and patience. That anyone should fear her had, before this, been laughable. Despite their discretion, never in his wildest dreams did he think anyone who knew her could assume the worst of her. Clearly, a small part of Hal had hoped the same.

He knew nothing he wanted to or could say would ease the heartbreak she was enduring. He also knew he still had to try.

"I know this does not feel like a victory," he began slowly. Even though Hal was still sobbing loudly, he knew she would be able to hear him all the same. "Trust me, I know. But do not allow yourself to think you made the wrong choice. When I turned myself in, it didn't go at all according to plan, did it? We faced more uncertainties than we were prepared for."

"It's not the same," she cried, sounding almost petulant.

"No? How is it different?"

"It just is!"

He pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh because he knew she wasn't trying to be funny. "Look at me, Hal."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you will say something sweet and perfect and I just want to be upset right now."

He nodded, lying back down beside her. "All right then. I will save my speech for when you are ready. If you need to cry, at least let me hold you."

At this she finally nodded, turning into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. They lay there for quite some time. Each moment when Murtagh thought perhaps she was done crying, she would just suddenly start up again.

What should I do, Thorn? I am beginning to think swearing fealty did us more harm than good.

I wish I knew, young one. It has taken a greater toll than either of us could have foreseen. And we certainly underestimated Nasuada's personal feelings on the matter as well.

At this, Murtagh frowned. What do you mean?

What do you mean, what do I mean? Did you not understand what was happening as the argument progressed? Murtagh's silence was answer enough and Thorn continued. It is not just that Nasuada felt lied to and deceived. I believe part of her felt betrayed because of the lengths you have gone through to protect Hal.

She knows what Hal means to me. And besides, she said herself that we wouldn't have worked.

I do not think it's that those opinions have changed. But rather her having to confront those feelings at all.

Murtagh thought back to that moment after he had shouted when Nasuada looked like she had been about to say something before she stopped herself. He would never know what she would have said, nor did he truly care to. But he could not deny that the evidence of her feelings had been rather apparent even before today.

Can I truly continue to work under Nasuada and protect Hal the way I want to? Hal's right: Nasuada will struggle to trust us after this. I can't say I blame her, even if I won't apologize for it. But if we cannot cooperate, then what is the point of my being here?

The point is that we are dragon riders, Thorn said, his voice lifting in a manner that carried the weight of their responsibility and duty. We are not beholden to the crown, but rather to the people. The crown is nothing more than a mere symbol. Let Trianna and Jörmundur be responsible for managing Nasuada's legacy and status. That is what they signed up for. Our duty is to keep these lands safe. Keep the people safe. So that we may keep Hal and the Tenari safe. We did not pledge our sword and claw to deal in politics. And I think that is why Eragon left. Not just because of his duty to the new generation of riders, but because he realized that to stay is to choose a side, to assume that if one person is right than another is wrong. Dragon riders do not exist above the law, but we also cannot be held to it the same way everyone else is. Not if we are to maintain order that is fair and just. I think that is why he was able to be more impartial than Nasuada.

Then did I make a mistake in swearing fealty after all?

No, I don't think you did. Otherwise, I would have stopped you. Instead, I think we will have to work harder at reminding Nasuada of this. I think because of your history, and because she has been led to believe that she must maintain a particular level of control over those under her to appease the citizens, she forgets that our status does not fall below the crown.

I do not think she would appreciate our saying as much.

That is too bad, Thorn said haughtily. But I thought about it as Eragon spoke and he is right. Or rather, he had the right idea.

You think we should leave Alagaësia?

No, no, that feels too hasty. Not to mention, we cannot leave Arya and Fírnen to handle everything alone. In fact, Arya's another good example: she still serves as queen to her people, demonstrating that they are her priority in addition to her duties. Both she and Eragon are out of Nasuada's control, and I am sure a part of her regrets that. She thought, with us, she could have a dragon rider of her own, but your loyalty to Hal draws the same line Arya and Eragon have, even if it is a more personal one.

I didn't even think about it like that. I can see now why she's so upset.

I do think she resents your protective nature over Hal, but it's just as important to note that it does somewhat undermine her authority as well if it looks like we operate outside of her jurisdiction too. It is all about keeping up appearances.

Aye, you make a sound argument. So, we will continue as we always have: I will do as she asks, I will follow her directions perfectly. However, I will make it clear that if anything comes at the cost to Hal and her safety —

We will remind them again that it is Halen we fight for. Always.

Murtagh glanced down at her, realizing only then she had grown quiet. At first, he thought she was asleep, but she seemed to sense his gaze on her and glanced up at him. "Are you and Thorn talking about me?"

"Yes. About how pretty you look when you cry."

She pushed on his chest playfully, but he was warmed to see the way her lips twitched in an attempt not to smile. She held on to him, looking rather bashful as she said, "I think I'm ready for your pretty speech now."

He blinked, momentarily confused until he remembered. His words seemed somewhat frivolous at this point however. Instead, he adjusted himself so that they were eye to eye. Hers were red and swollen. He cupped her cheek in his hand, quietly noticing how Hal's chest and breaths moved in sync with his. "No pretty speech."

"No?"

"No. Just this: I know how scary that was. And I'm so proud of you for standing in your truth. Just as you encouraged me to stand in mine. I love you, Halen. Exactly as you are."

Despite her heartache, the sight of how she brightened, as she always did, at these words made him beam with the deepest kind of love. Her expression softened even further and she leaned towards him. He knew what she wanted. She wanted to forget once more their predicament. Wanted to be lost only in each other, the rest of the world be damned.

He closed his eyes and gave her exactly as she asked. He never could deny her anyway.

…

"But I don't want to go, it's too far and it's cold!"

"Miss Halen, I'm hungry again."

"Are you coming with us?"

Hal bit down so hard on her bottom lip that she thought she might accidentally break the skin. Her chest and throat were so tight that she felt like she would burst into pieces if she held her emotions back any longer. Wide, nervous, expectant eyes gazed at her from between wool hats and itchy scarves, and sticky hands gripped her skirts as the children who had come to expect Hal daily for the past few weeks bade their final goodbyes.

Crouching so that she was at their level, Hal pushed her emotions down so that she could grace them with an encouraging smile. She knew they would be anxious, going to a new city they did not know. She did not want her feelings to worry them for the wrong reasons. "Ms. MacKenzie is taking you someplace special. Where it's warm and your little tummies can be full every night. I think you all will like it there."

"Are you coming too?"

She shook her head. "I'm needed here. But remember what I told you…" As they repeated her instructions for writing her letters, Hal gave a firm, proud nod. "Very good. Now follow me; the wagons have been loaded and we need to get you all settled."

She held a small hand in each of hers, felt the way their fingers clung to her. She felt guilty, having unintentionally attached herself to them (and they to her) only for them to have to leave in the end. As she guided them out to the brisk, winter morning, she passed Murtagh and Giles who stood some feet away talking in hushed voices. Their faces were flushed from having joined Albriech and Baldor in loading up the wagons, although Hal also knew Murtagh had chosen to help to keep an eye on her. She hadn't been having a good week, and the departure of the children had weighed heavily on her mind. She knew he was worried about her wellbeing, but she couldn't even pretend that she was well. This had been one of the longest weeks of her life.

Without thinking, Hal looked up towards the window that would've been Nasuada's office, almost imagining she'd see the queen glaring down at Hal in turn. But her majesty had been strangely absent since Hal's confession, and Hal could not gauge if that was a good or bad sign. She had woken up sporadically every night this week, mistaking every set of steps outside her and Murtagh's room as ones that belonged to soldiers, ready to arrest her. Needless to say, she was exhausted from lack of sleep. She kept waiting for the knowing glares when she walked out in public, or the shouted accusations. The longer she went without such fuss, the more paranoid she felt. Ironic, considering she had hoped confessing herself would actually alleviate such fears.

A gentle touch on her arm jolted her out of her thoughts, and she turned to find Juliet giving her a sad smile, probably assuming Hal was simply upset about the children leaving.

If only it were so simple.

"They're ready, Miss Halen."

Nodding, Hal turned to look down at the children who still crowded her, waiting with expectant faces. "All right you lot, follow me."

They were just young enough to not fully understand what was happening. Hal had tried to explain it multiple times, but she knew how jarring these things could be. Knew how difficult it was to adjust to the idea that their families were no more, and that they must rely on strangers from now on. And for Hal and Juliet to have entered their lives during such times of turmoil, only to leave just as quickly, was unfair. All she could hope for was that things would become more stable for them after this.

After making sure the children were loaded into the covered wagon, occupied with dried treats and small toys for the time being, Hal took a step back where Ms. MacKenzie joined her. "I admit, I feel rather guilty taking them from you. You look as though you are a mother losing her own children."

Hal chuckled, feeling rather embarrassed. "I cannot replace what they have lost. But I know all too well the struggles they will face. The dark times that await them. As someone who truly understands, I wish I could be there for them."

"You have been," the older woman assured her. "And they will not forget you. I promise to make sure they write you as often as possible, even after they have gone to their new homes. I will not let anything happen to them."

Hal gave Ms. MacKenzie a grateful smile. "Aye. I shall hold you to it."

A small unit of soldiers left with the wagon of children, Ms. MacKenzie, and Agatha, who decided to stay by their side as an additional pair of hands since Hal and Juliet could not join. Everyone waved and shouted heartfelt messages back at Hal, who continued to wave back and respond just as she had to Layla: until she heard only her voice and not even her sharp ears could pick up the children's goodbyes.

Juliet dabbed at her eyes, sniffling quietly. "It feels silly to be attached to little ones that do not belong to me. But I will miss those children."

Hal moved without thinking, laying her head on the woman's shoulder. "Me too, Juliet. More than I thought possible."

Eventually the handmaiden stepped back, but Hal remained rooted in place, feeling a grave emptiness as she stared at the spot along the horizon where the wagon had disappeared. It would be a three- to four-day journey to Surda, assuming the children behaved accordingly. From there, they would be scattered like ashes in the wind, placed in the available homes who said they could take them. Hal knew it was for the best, but she felt dissatisfied with the process and the abrupt ending to her own short-lived role in it.

"Are you all right, iet dunei?"

Murtagh came to stand beside her, his voice soft yet probing as he tried to gauge her state of mind. For some strange reason, the question brought tears to her eyes, which fell when she tried to blink them away. Hugging herself, she shook her head and admitted, "No," she admitted, throwing him an embarrassed smile.

"What can I do for you right now?" he asked earnestly. "How can I help you?"

It felt like a loaded question, one with no simple answers. For a few moments, she let herself gaze out into the distance, letting the silence stretch between them as the cold pressed in through her heavy garments.

"I don't know," she admitted, lowering her gaze to the ground. "I don't know if you can. It's just that…"

When her pause went on too long, he said, "You can tell me."

She knew. It was more of a matter of figuring out how to say what she had only recently realized. "I feel like I have no purpose anymore," she said at last, deciding to cut out the unnecessary detail and dive right into the point. "I told you before how I used your pardon as a means of keeping myself distracted. And then you received your pardon. I helped fight in the siege, but I am not a soldier nor do I have any interest in becoming one. When I had the opportunity to help with the children, I finally felt like there was something I could do; some way in which I could help, that also suited me. Now the children are gone and I just feel empty. I'm realizing I don't know where I belong anymore. I've wanted for so long to go back home to Illium, and I still do. But…I realize that I won't be the same as when I left. How can I go back to watching the children there and tending to the fields after everything I've seen here?"

"Do not forget you are village leader," he reminded her gently. "There will still be many responsibilities you have yet to undergo."

"Yes, yes, I haven't forgotten. But is that enough? You and Thorn will be serving the queen, serving the people on such a large scale. And I am to what? Conduct weddings and settle private disputes and maybe raise our children if we have them?"

Murtagh studied her, his brows furrowed in thought and confusion. Suddenly, his expression cleared and understanding seemed to strike him. "You want more."

"I must be mad," Hal retorted quickly. "It is enough responsibility as it is. It certainly kept Denu busy. And yet…"

Murtagh shook his head. "You were once a girl who dreamed of coming to the mainland to learn about its wildlife. The same girl that would have taken off with me, a semi-stranger, just for a chance to see the world. Even when I first met you, I knew you seemed bigger than what Illium could offer you. Denu knew it too."

She made a small noise that sounded like a laugh. "You were not that much of a stranger by the time you proposed me running off with you. I was halfway in love with you by then anyway."

She glanced at him and saw that he tried to hide how happy that statement made him.

Hal chewed nervously on her lip, hugging herself tightly. "I feel like I am betraying the Tenari. They entrusted their livelihoods to me and I accepted that responsibility. And I want it. But it does not feel like enough. I want children, but even that does not feel like enough to complete me. I feel selfish, but I just…watching the children leave made me realize how much purpose I felt like I had these last few weeks. Helping those who could not help themselves. The Tenari do not need me for that — that's why I was even able leave. And I never wanted to just be anyone's mother or wife. So where does that leave me?"

Murtagh reached out and slipped his hand into hers, and she looked up to meet his gaze. It was warm and encouraging, his smile softening his features. "I will not dictate your life for you. Your spirit and energy were two reasons I fell for you. You do not have to figure it all out right now. But when you do, I will support you as your partner and husband. You should have whatever life makes you happiest, and I will do what I can to aide in such a quest."

"Most husbands would be scandalized by such talk."

"You did not marry me because I would be like 'most husbands,'" he pointed out cheekily.

She felt her lips stretch into a relieved smile, some of her nerves being steadily released from her body. "Aye, that's true." She looked back out, taking a breath to steady herself. "I think I have figured it out. What I want."

He turned towards her, his expression shifting to one of eagerness. "Tell me."

"Well it's not fully formed —"

"I don't care, tell me everything."

"A school," she said quickly, nervously, excitedly. She had thought about it the past week, the final piece falling into place after seeing Eragon again. Eragon, who had an academy where riders could learn how to be, well, riders. "I want a school solely for orphaned and abandoned children. Children with no place to go and no place to call home. A place that will provide them with food and shelter, but also lessons so that they do not fall behind their peers. Perhaps those who still wish to adopt them can do so, but the goal would be give them a safe place where they can still feel cared for and protected. The world should not abandon them when they need it most. It's all I have so far, but I quite like the idea."

"Halen, that's brilliant."

"Why do you sound surprised?"

"No, no, not surprised at the idea, more so stunned that we don't already have something like this."

"That's what I thought to. But I suppose there was no real need for it before, if they always managed to find a home for the children. But with the attack in Ilirea, it exposed how vulnerable this population really is. There may not be a need, it could be more a situational thing —"

"There will always be orphans and children left to fend for themselves," Murtagh interrupted. "And they do not always find themselves a Tornac or Denu or even a Ms. MacKenzie." He looked down at her and smiled. "But you would change that. You would be that home for them. The woman who cares for all children like they're her own. Who makes them feel seen. I could not have thought of a more fitting and necessary task for someone like you."

"I'm glad you think so," she said proudly. "I, of course, will need all input you can spare. There's still much to figure out, like location and staffing. Will I be there full time or entrust someone to run it for me while I'm away? Can I even do such a thing if I'm still on Illium? Or should I host it on Illium? The weather is quite nice for it but then we'd have to get the children to the island. And how do I even find staff? Or get the word out about such a place? It feels wrong to send word out requesting orphaned and abandoned children."

"One thing at a time, my love. We don't have to have it all figured out now."

She sighed, exhausted just at the thought. "Yes, yes you're right. It's my first time saying all these things aloud. I supposed I'm just excited. It feels right, even if I don't know the specifics just yet."

He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "It makes me happy to hear that. Whatever I can do to help —"

"I know, rider. I know."

He nodded, satisfied with this. "I do have something else to tell you." She looked at him expectantly and he continued. "After what happened with Nasuada, I wrote to Roran."

Surprised, Hal turned to face him. "Roran? Why?"

"Well, I know we'd been talking about traveling to Gil'ead to get away, but I was starting to think that wouldn't be enough. And after seeing Eragon, I just thought of Carvahall and Roran. I heard back from him today and he has invited us to stay with him for a few days."

Hal hesitated, and her feelings must've shown clearly on her face because Murtagh added, "You are under no obligation to tell Roran anything. But I think getting away from our respective duties will be good for us."

Good for you, Hal knew he wanted to say, but she wasn't upset. Just exhausted. "And what about Gil'ead?"

"It's close enough that we could go and I could still do my business there before we then head over to Carvahall. Since we do not leave for another week, it gives me time to send a messenger back to Roran so he knows when to expect us."

Hal glanced around to make sure they were properly alone. "It feels wrong, going to where Roran and his family are without telling them the truth of what I am."

"Who you are," he corrected. "And you do not owe them anything, Hal, just as you did not owe it to Nasuada. However, do not treat yourself like a raging monster who will devour their children. It's just a few days with my cousin and his family. There's no obligation attached to it."

Hal was quiet, thinking about what it would be like to return to the Spine. She did not much care for the mountain cold, but she could not deny how wound up she felt here. How frightened and overwhelmed. Roran's presence, when he had been in Ilirea, had been rather comforting.

"Do Baldor and Albriech know?"

"I mentioned it to them. They assured me that we would be much more well-received under Roran's patronage."

"It would be nice for them to go home too. They mentioned they have not seen it in a while." She saw Murtagh's expression soften but she did not comment on it. With a firm nod she said, "All right. Let's do it."

"I shall tell him to expect us then?"

"Yes, please do." Murtagh kissed her cheek before turning on his heel. Hal watched him leave, slightly nervous, but somewhat excited. She looked back at the foreboding stone walls of the queen's keep, her throat tightening at the thought of walking back inside. She could not deny it. After everything this city and its people had put her through, she was eager to leave it all behind.