Disclaimer: Disney owns it all, except for my lovely Mari and the evil Sangre. I wanted Jack to come over to my side, but I think my fervor drove him off...

A/N: Freak and Proud and squeakydoor, this chappie is dedicated to you. Screaming and slammed doors for freak, and a very special line for squeaky. But everyone, please, enjoy and review!



"Jack!" Mr. Gibbs exclaimed as the captain hauled himself over the rail. "We weren't expectin' ye back so soon! And with company, to boot!"

Will hoisted himself on deck, turning to help his wife.

"Hello, Mr. Gibbs," Elizabeth said genially. Will smiled at the man, and nodded a greeting.

"Why, if it isn't the Turners!" Gibbs said cheerfully. At a rather feminine grunt, he turned back toward the moored dinghy. Mari pulled herself aboard easily, looking about in a fashion that suggested apprehension.

"Mari Sparrow?" Gibbs said quietly. The young woman flicked him a glance, and swallowed.

"Cutlass, now, Mr. Gibbs. Captain Cutlass."

The Commodore arrived last, only to be greeted by the tip of a sword.

"And who might this dandy be?" Annamaria asked. In the commotion of the captain's arrival, no one had noticed her slip up to the group. James stood taut; no longer blindfolded he could see exactly who threatened him, and that Jack seemed in no hurry to call her off. The captain only grinned lazily, eyeing the officer from beneath kohl-lined eyelids.

He's enjoying this, the commodore realized. He's milking every moment of my helplessness to his satisfaction. Norrington returned Sparrow's gaze steadily, his upper lip curled in a classically British manner.

"Stow your weapon, Annie," Jack said at last. "The good Commodore is no prisoner of ours; only of circumstance. Meanwhile, get my beauty ready to sail! We ship out as soon as possible!"

The crewmen that had gathered to eye up the newcomers scattered like cockroaches suddenly exposed to light. The clink of the anchor chains and creak of shifting sails penetrated the night silence.

"Annamaria, Gibbs! Find the Turners and the Commodore accommodations; Captain Cutlass, to me," Jack ordered. He stood at ease until only he and Mari were left on the deck. Then, he sagged a bit, and pulled his hand from where he'd set it jauntily on his hip. It was covered in blood.

"I'll be needing your help, my lass," he said very quietly. Mari nodded and took his arm. She understood, as they made their way to his cabin, it wasn't kinship that had caused him to ask her help, but that she was the only one that knew he was injured. Jack Sparrow's pride was second only to his beloved ship.

Once the others were out of the Turner's parlor, Jack had fired at Sangre, distracting him for a moment. However, the ghoul reacted faster than Jack had calculated, and managed to send some lead of his own. The wound was only superficial, but painful, and bleeding like the dickens.

"You should have cared for this right away," Mari said sharply, applying a damp cloth to her father's torn flesh. "You might have bled to death, and left someone fatherless."

Jack winced as Mari pressed another cloth –this one dampened with rum- to the wound. She then applied a dry bit of cotton to his skin and began binding it fast.

"Aye," Jack agreed. "Wouldn't want to be leavin' the Pearl an orphan, savvy?"

He had thought himself quite witty with that remark; Mari, apparently, did not agree. Jack grunted as the woman tied off the bandage with more violence than strictly necessary.

"Why do you always do that?" she asked sharply. Jack looked at her quizzically.

"Do what?"

"Every time I try to talk to ye, you brush me off!"

"We were talkin' just a moment ago!"

"No, Jack. We were speaking, but we weren't talking."

"You take everything too seriously."

"And you don't take things seriously enough!"

Jack stood, wincing, and gripped the young woman's shoulders.

"What is it, exactly, that ye want from me?"

"I want a father, rather than a captain," Mari said evenly. Jack's eyes narrowed. "

I am yer father, lass. There's no changin' that."

"Yer my sire, never my father."

"What the ruddy blazes is that t' mean?" Jack's voice began to rise.

"Would a bloody hug have killed ye?" Mari asked, rather loudly.

"Pirates don't hug!" Jack exclaimed. "Pirates don't even say the word 'hug' if they can avoid it!" Mari tore herself from his grasp and yanked the door open.

"Well then you can just sleep dandy, assured of your bloody pirate superiority!"

She left, closing the door with a slam, the hinges creaking dangerously. Outside, a group of crewmembers stood looking in askance at Mari's retreating back. Jack opened the door as if to follow her, looked at the group and scowled.

"What'er ye all gawkin' at? Back t' yer posts, ye worthless scallywags!" And the door slammed once again.

In the shadows near the rail, Will, Elizabeth, and Norrington stood with varying degrees of shock and concern on their faces.

"Good heavens," Norrington murmured. "Are they always like this?"

"It seems like the argument is an old one," Elizabeth said. "Perhaps we should try to talk to them?" She looked at her husband inquiringly.

"I don't know if that would help..." Will saw Elizabeth's pleading look and melted, "I'll take Mari, you take Jack."

"I have a feeling Mari isn't feeling particularly generous towards men at the moment," Elizabeth said gently. "Why don't we switch?"

"Because Jack is less likely to take a swing at you," Will muttered. Elizabeth smiled, and headed toward Jack's cabin.


Jack leaned back in his desk chair, a comforting bottle of rum clasped in his hand. He took a drink, relishing the burning sensation as it rolled down his throat. He closed his eyes, thinking, when he heard the door to his cabin open with a squeak.

"I really have to get the squeak out of that door," he said to his visitor.

"No one will come in unnoticed this way," a gentle voice said. Jack looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Elizabeth, darling. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Elizabeth smiled at him and sat down in a spare chair.

"I thought you might want someone to talk to," she said. Jack looked confused.

"About what?"

"About Mari."

"You're a father, then?"

"No, but I'm a daughter. And one who won't hurl odd objects at you."

Jack smiled a bit. "Funny, I'm the one who taught her to aim." He took another swig of rum and offered it to Elizabeth. She shook her head.

"So, then, Liz," Jack said, very quietly, "would you like to inform me of what I'm doin' wrong?"


Mari, unbeknownst to her, sat in a position very similar to Jack's in her borrowed quarters, also holding a bottle of rum. After their spat, she'd headed directly to the food stores and commandeered a bottle. Jack still hid the best stuff in the same place.

"Mari?" The young woman looked up to see none other than Will Turner standing in her doorway.

"What can I he'p ye with, mate?" Will settled himself on a trunk near the desk, wondering how to approach the subject. Not only was Mari as unpredictable as Jack, she was a woman.

"Has it always been this way between you two?" he asked carefully. Mari took a double gulp of rum and sighed.

"No we were fine for a while. Then I learned to speak in complete sentences." Her tone was bitter; she was still very angry. Will swallowed, knowing he was treading on paper-thin ice.

"What...happened?"

Mari's eyes narrowed. "What happened?" she snorted. "What happened," she rose and flung the door open, "was that Jack decided to," she stuck her head out the door, "ACT LIKE A CHILD RATHER THAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!" She closed the door with a resounding bang and turned to Will. "That's what happened!"


Jack's head snapped up and he flung his own door open. Elizabeth followed him, worry marking her features.

"Jack, don't do anything-"

"Some people," Jack muttered, "HAVE MORE RESPONSIBILITIES THAN ONE! Some people BLOODY HAVE CREWS TO CAPTAIN!" He slammed the door in satisfaction.

"- you'll regret," Elizabeth finished lamely.

"AND SOME PEOPLE," came the rebuttal from Mari, "BALANCE CAREER AND PARENTHOOD!"

Jack made a another trip to the door, and stepped out on deck this time.

"TRY IT SOMETIME!" he yelled. Mari stormed out to meet him.

"I won't bloody have to because I don't sleep with everyone I see!"

"Nor do I!" Jack said defensively. "Only...only the women!"

"Well, that's a ruddy relief!"

"This is why we can't have a conversation!" Jack said, waving his rum bottle about wildly. "You always have to bring out that bloody SMART MOUTH!"

"I wonder where that comes from!"

Another crowd had gathered around the two, with Will and Elizabeth cringing near Jack's quarters, Norrington looking disgusted outside the circle, and poor Mr. Giibs attempting to get Jack's attention.

"Jack," he said carefully, "erm, Captain..."

Both turned to him at the same time.

"WHAT?"

Gibbs recoiled. Annamaria, behind him for moral support, looked vaguely amused. She stepped in front of the endangered man.

"We've spotted a ship not far behind us, sir," she said, trying not to smirk. "The moon caught its colors; a black spot on a field of red."

The whole ship grew silent; four stomachs did painful somersaults. Jack closed his eyes.

"He's catching up."