It's day.The sun shines brightly through the dancing leaves as their brances sway gentle in the warm spring breeze.We slowly follow a pair of small shoes walking along the side walk and coming to a stop.We slowly move upward,coming over a pair of white jeans and a pretty white top.It's a girl with lovely brunette hair and she's standing at the picket white fence around the perimetre of the yard.We come off this young,innocent girl,closing in on the house.It's beautiful,big,bright white.Their are multiple flower beds around the lush,vibrant yard,bringing a warm feeling to the scene.
We rest on the house for a moment before pulling back and we reverse on the little girls face.It's faith,looking happy,filled with curriousity and light.She glances up at the home,smiling fondly.
She turns,sketching the pretty picture of the home in her head.The comforting,safe,happy feelings she got from that house were something she was unfamilular to.She had never had that.That house was not hers and the loving family who lived within it's walls did not belong to her either.She never had those htings;a mother and father who protected and loved her,a pet to call her own to love,security of a lifetime of love.She didn't grow up playing hop scotch or playing dress up with mommy,or even having tea parties in the back yard with her friends.Sure,she had games...but playing hide-and-go-seak is only fun as long as your not hiding from your drunken mother in the closet or under the bed,preying that when she finds you she'll cover you with kissess instead of bruises.
When we're young,we're innocent...untainted by the corrupted world surrounding us.We don't know the pain of a broken heart,the heart ache of losing a loved one,the sorrow being alone.All that changes within minutes...no one can pinpoint when exactly we lose our hope for life,for love,or for ourselves.We just want to turn the hands of time...lie down in our beds in out parents arms and fall asleep with the assuring knowledge that they love us.
We look apon Faith's childlike face as it suddenly morphs to her older self,walking along Main street in Sunnydale as if walking it for the first time.
She had a long red coat on and her hair was down.As she made her way down main street a crowd of people bumped into her,nudging her to the side.
Her eye's followed them with confusion as they laughed while walking away.She turned and began walking again.She seemed a little out of it.Buffy's words flowed through her head,making her think hard and causing her mind to absently drift away.
A police cruiser turned the corner,it's headlights piercing the darkness of the street.Faith turned her head away so she wouldn't be noticed.Luckly another group of people walked by,shielding her from the officers sight.
as it drove away Faith stopped and exhaled deeply before continuing on her way.
the patio cafe where she had often walked by was filled with young people in their mid to late twenties.A group which sat at a table by the side walk was laughing and smiling.This made Faith frown because she wanted to have what they had,friendship.More than anything in existence she wanted to be loved,needed,if only for a second.
every night before she would cry herself to sleep and she would pray for it.She would pray for someone to come and take her to a better place.Her prayers were never answered no matter how hard she wished,it would never be.
A young man walks by Faith,holding a little girls hand,making her grow thoughful more,but she couldn't pull away,it seemed odd,as if it should be familiar .She wanted it so much that it tore her apart inside and shattered any hope she had left.
Little Girl: Dad,come on.We're gonna be late
No one seemed to take notice of Faith,she was just another lost face in the crowd.
Angel's,Buffy's and everyone else's voice echoed through her mind.They didn't let up,they just kept telling her how pathetic she was and that no one cared for her.
She knew this true so she allowed the cruelty of their words tear her down until there was nothing left.Just a hollow shell of a girl who felt only sorrow and anger.
This girl wandered the streets for hours,cold,sad,and alone.
Faith sat at the window box,staring blankly through the large window at the dark,dismull sky.She held a pillow to her chest as The rain fell,splating against the window as Lightning tore the sky open casting random flashes of light on her face.
The rain was one of Faith's favorite things mostly because she loved the way it felt when she got caught in a rainstorm.The way rain water smelled on a spring day.The way it made her feel sad as she thought the sky was crying,wheeping just for her.
Her mother had been drinking again and she just had to escape the madness,atleast until the yelling died down and she would be able to cry herself to sleep as she did everynight.
She hated it here but she didn't have anywhere else to go.Her father was a cop,go figure and her mother was a drugy/drunk/all around grade A bitch.The pefect match.Her Father would leave for long periods at a time without any word for weeks but he always came back ot his "Happy" home.He said he couldn't deal with Faith's mother's problems but he kept getting dragged back to them.
now Her mother,oh she was a piece of work.She would blow all of the money her father brought home on her addictions.When she couldn't pay with money she found other ways,lowering herself just to get a fix so she could last the night.
Faith was living a nightmare,the kind that you don't wake up from.The kind where the real and most horrifying nightmares seem like fluffy day-dreams.
This horror movie had no ending and it always seemed to come back with a sequal full of Violence and corse language.
She sat there for hours on end as tears formed in her eyes while she dreamed of a storybook ending.
I've been told I have problems.It's nothing new.I've known for years.Inside of me theres this scared little eight year old,wanting to be strong but only ever succeeding in being weak.Deaper down theres this even younger child screaming for it all to stop.She doesn't know whats going on or how to stop it.she has no control.it's all been taken.
The sound of sirens mixed with the busy noise of the city woke Faith up.She was only eighteen and she was already on her own.Sitting up,she glanced around the dark,t iny apartment and gave a sigh.
she glanced at the alarm on her night table,it read 8:30 in bright red.giving a groan,she burried her head in her lap.She was late for work.Her boss wouldn't notice though,he was a pig and knew she was just another lost soul in a big city that he could take advantage of.
She worked at a diner in the bad part of town where they had the worst chilly cheese fries for 40 blocks but the best milkshakes in 5. She served the same truckers,loners and bastards who frequented the place nightly.She knew them all.She was intent on completely losing herself.She was techniquely already lost,not knowing herself or where she belonged in the world.She didn't have a place.the world had tunred it's back on her and frozen her out completely.
She'd just smile seductively,the same way she did when someone asked her how she was and she'd reply "five-by-five" with that playful look.Truth was,she was a mess,gone,alone,scared and ashamed of what her life had become.Instead of continuing to run from her fate of becoming just like her mother,she made a U-turn and collided with it head on.
she got up and went into the dark bathroom where she flicked the light switch.The light flickerd several times before finally stopping and becoming it's usual dim glow.
She had this slight addiction that she couldn't shake.She'd pop a few pills,chase them with a glass of water and put on a smile before shoving off to a different version of hell for the night.
she'd close the cabinet and be caught by the same pair of beautiful brown eyes each time.The same,unfamiliar eyes of a stranger.They were deep and filled with emptyness and pain.She would stay there for hours on end staring into those eyes,wondering who they belonged too.They were obviously hers,but she could never tell,because she was a stranger to herself.
She had come a long way from the little girl who ran and blessed the moment when her mother passed out.She was a cold and lonely girl who was going nowhere fast.She didn't care though,she was already gone,becoming this...supreme thing,somehting that told her she didn't need the world.
She liked living on the edge.The thrill you got from being so close to it you could fall if there was a sudden breeze or something.
While walking around at night,arms folded, wrapping her denim jacket around herself as tightly as possible.She'd smile after absent-mindedly noticing how the people before her seemed to part, like she was the proverbial knife through butter.
People would be totally preocupied, walking towards her, when suddenly they'd take a detour and step to the side. It was a nice feeling, a feeling of power, of being in control, however small and pointless it was.
Faith would start to deliberately sway her walk slightly, occasionally stepping one way or the other, just to throw people, just for the hell of it. She'd smile weakly to herself, as she continued moving this way and that, back and forth, making tiny ripples in the waves of people
Remember no one cares.everyone just wants to hate you.everyone's just waiting for a reason to do just that.Hate is the lifeblood of the powerful...so I hate too.My parents for not caring and myself...because I'm finished at 20 and a total failure.I'm Just trying to and dull the pain which I feel everyday.To maybe have someone actually understand me for a change.To make them feel my pain...to make them care
Buffy stands,pleading with Faith and looking grim
Buffy:Faith,you don't get it...you killed a man.
She smiles unpleasantly,becoming slightly amused by that.
Faith:No...you don't get it...I don't care
But you drag them down with you...and soon enough you begin searching for the fastest rides out...Suicide
Angel is on the bluff,awaiting the sun to rise on Christmas day so his pain can be ended.
Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? (shakes her) Am I a righteous man? (shakes her) The world wants me gone!
Buffy: (tearfully) What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help.
She shoves him off of her and gets up.
Buffy: (crying) And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. (sobs, then harshly) I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. (whispers) I can't.
Angel gets up now, too.
Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.
Angel struggles with himself, knowing she's right.
Revenge
The light begins to stream out as Glory's fingers enter Tara's head. Both Tara and Glory cry out.
Willow reaches the edge of the path but is blocked by the Chinese dragon people and has to stop.
Shot of Tara with Glory's fingers still in her head and the light streaming out as Tara makes a pained face. People continue walking past and blocking her from view. Shot of Willow straining to see around the people.
WILLOW: Tara!
The crowd clears momentarily and we see Tara sitting alone on the bench with her head lolling to one side.
WILLOW: No!!
Willow runs over and sits on the bench, grabs Tara by the shoulders. Tara doesn't react or look at her.
WILLOW: Shatter.
The mirrors in the room all shatter and the glass flies toward Glory, slicing her dress into shreds but not harming her.
GLORY: Is that it? Is that the best you can do? You think I care about all this, the apartment, the clothes?
She pulls off the shreds of her dress, revealing a black negligee underneath. She backhands Willow, who flies backward and topples over a sofa, landing on the floor.
GLORY: Now, sucking on your girlfriend's mind?
Willow lifts her head. Her eyes are still all black.
GLORY: That was something to treasure.
Giles:It's me!
He takes off his coat and hangs it up. He looks around again and sees a chilled bottle of champagne and two long-stemmed glasses on his desk. On top of the crystal ice bucket is a folded piece of paper leaning against the bottle. He sets down his keys and the rose and takes the note. He unfolds it and on it is one word: Upstairs. He smiles and looks up toward the loft. He takes off his glasses and sets them and the paper down. He runs his fingers through his hair, takes the bottle, looks at it, takes the two glasses and starts up the stairs. The opera music gets louder as he nears the loft. The camera follows his footsteps as he climbs the stairs. There is a rose on each step. When he reaches the top he is smiling. He sees Jenny on the bed, but she isn't moving, and his smile quickly fades. The opera reaches a crescendo as he drops the bottle and glasses, and they shatter on the floor. He continues to look at Jenny's body. Her dead eyes stare back at him.
Giles and Angelus exchange blows,Giles impressively kicking his ass until Angelus unfortunately get the upperhand.
Warren turns and begins running,firing off the gun in a flurry of shots.taras smile fades from her face as the bullet soars through her heart and she plumets to the floor.
Willow:Tara?!
Willow: Something, isn't it? (pensively) One tiny piece of metal destroys everything. (Warren groaning loudly) It ripped her insides out ... took her light away. From me. From the world.
Now she looks Warren in the eye again, re-focusing. He continues trembling, groaning in pain and fear.
Willow: Now the one person who should be here is gone ... and a waste like you gets to live.
Another shot of the bullet hole in Warren's chest.
Willow: Tiny piece of metal. Can you feel it now?
she waves her hands,flaying him alive
Or just letting it all out when it gets to be too much
random shots of people doing this,many in hte form of song from the episode "OMWF".We rest On Anya as she explains her confusion of Joyce's death.
Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
Willow: (horrified) Oh my god! Would you just ... stop talking? Just ... shut your mouth. Please.
Anya: What am I doing?
Willow: How can you act like that?
Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? (looks from Willow to Xander) Is that the helpful thing to do?
Xander: Guys...
Willow: The way you behave-
Anya: Nobody will tell me.
Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!
Anya: (desperate) But I don't understand!
Willow and Xander look at her in surprise.
Anya: (crying) I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, (sniffling) there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. (still teary) And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.
She stops and puts her hand over her face, crying.
We never understand why exactly these people so close and dear to us have been taken away without warning...it's cruel the way it happens...it's like...you're granted truely happy and pure bliss for so long and then suddenly out of nowhere...it's taken from you.
But it was easier this way.By isolating herself and pushing others away it meant never having to experiance heartbreak...she had lived through too much of that.She wondered why life had been the way it was or why she was delt those oh so horrible cards.She thought of it as Gods own little way of saying "screw you".Maybe she was just a test subject for soem higher,cosmic force.Sending her endless events of pain after pain...just to see what effect it would have so they wouldn't screw up with the ones they really had plans for.
Faith walked along,going about as she usual did,not caring about the things around her.She couldn't care anymore,as much as she wanted to.
Recent events had pushed her over the edge.Too far.Being lied to,being used,killing accidently and then have Buff ybhe automatically forgiven.This had triggerd the painful memories to come crashing back into a one horrifying relization:She was alone in her own world...and the one person hwo should be there with her,the one who was just like her,was somewhere else,beign hugged by mommy and surrounded by loving friends...she didn't get any of that.And why not?She had saved the world too,why didn't she deserve those things.The things a normal girl should have
It was dark where she was and filled with sorrow.Filled with lies and false hopes.It had a way of working.It would slowly build up your hope and trust until you leave open a blind spot and then they'd strike."They" being the one's who you think you can trust and love...the one's you want to trust and love.
but the habit of pushing people away becomes a way of life.Never letting the wall around you crumble and allow some sunshine to shead into your dark,empty world.She wanted that light.She wanted to flood in and wash over her and hold her like she was it's child.
She giggles inside at the apreciation for the irony of the one's who clame to want to help her.They helped...push her away that is.They had lied and kept her away,much like the children she grew up with...pushing and shoving,never letting her in just for a moment...so she could feel like she belonged somewhere.
This pushed her further,adding more emotional bricks to the wall which was begining to trap her without her knowing it.Soon the wall would be too high to climb or break down...it'd surround her and keep her prisioner until she let go of hope,until she let go of life.