The Legend of Zelda: The Lost Chronicles
Chapter 5: Blah blah blah, Yak yak yak… (Geez, titles are hard…)
As we return with our hero, we see that he is wide awake after constant yelling about not falling asleep…
Navi: THAT'S RIGHT!!!!! YOU'RE NOT FALLING ASLEEP ON MY WATCH!!!!!
Link: I feel like I'm in prison…(groan)
As our heroes continue to search for the Sacrificial Chamber (STILL), they hear a moaning sound!!!
Link: Hey! What's that?? Navi, go up and look at it while the Player presses Z!
Hey!!! You're not supposed to know that you're being controlled by a Player!!! (Jedi Hand wave)You do not know you are in a video game. These are not the droids you are looking for. (Zap)
Link: These are not the droids I'm looking for…
Navi: What are droids?
Never mind that. ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!
Navi checked upon the ominous (OOOOH!! BIG WORD!) sound coming around the corner.
Navi: ?
???: ROOAAAAAR!!!!!!!
Navi: AGHH!!!! LINK!!! HELP!!!!! LISTEN!!!!!!!!!!
In front of Navi shot up a decrepit, decaying, dead hand grabbing her in a deadly clutch of deadliness!!!!!! (Ooooh!!! Alliteration!!! )
RPG FIGHT!!!!!!
Link: WHAT??????????
Fine…..RPG DEATH FIGHT!!!!!!
Link: Much better… --;;
LINK: 1000/1000
NAVI: 350/350
???: 2000/2000
START!!!!!!!!
Link's turn
Link: OK!!! Sword slash!!
100 HP damage
??? HP 1900/2000
Link: WHAT!!! I'm stronger than that!!!
Fine!!! Geez, I could've made it only 1 hp, but nooooo!
??? HP 1500/2000
Link: Much better!
Navi's turn
Navi: CAFFIENE BLAST!!!!
1000 damage!!!
??? HP 500/2000
Navi: OH YEAH!!!!!! (Hyper on caffeine)
Link: Why can't my attacks be that strong…..;;
Navi: BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO DRINK COFFEE!!!!
Link/???: OO;;
???'s turn: Apocalypse Attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5000 damage!!!!! TO BOTH NAVI AND LINK!!!!!!!
Navi: XX
Link: XX
MATCH OVER
???: They'll never know who I am!!! I AM GANONDORF!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Link/Navi: Dude, we're standing right here.
Ganondorf: Huh??? Hey! Weren't you guys just dead??
Link: Yeah but in case you forgot, we're in a game where I can die as many times as you are ugly…
Navi: And that's a lot!!
Link: And I will be reborn with the help of the goddesses!! SO HAH!!
Ganondorf: Oh well… Bye!!!
Ganondorf leaves on a broomstick powered by his grannies, Kotake and Koume (They are his grannies, right??)
Kotake: Oh Ganny!! You're hurt!!
Koume: Come hear and let me kiss your boo-boo, Ganny
Link/Navi:OO;;
Ganondorf: --;;
Well, just for the sake of Ganondorf's dignity and my sheer will of it, THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER 5!! But what will be Ganondorf's plans this time?? Will Link be able to stop him?? CAN GANONDORF ESCAPE FROM HIS OVER PROTECTIVE GRANNIES??? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EPISODE OF THE LOS CHRONICALS!!!! WHY AM I YELLING!?!?!?!?!?!?
(Please review!! I need love too!)