Title: Dogmatic
Rating PG to be safe. No swearing but angsty.
Spoilers: All but this takes place after Excitable Boy.
Summary: One goal, two views.
Disclaimer: Okay, they are so not mine. Because believe me my family would have been bugging me about my canceled tv show and where was my career was going instead of being a directional less loser. I have Christmas issues and I do have a direction, it is just my compass broke. But as I was saying before my rant. I so do not own them. Not sure who does but it isn't me.
Author's notes. Okay this was written in about 45 minutes. It is raw and unbetaed. But the urge to post came over me and I was listening to the daredevil soundtrack and number eleven which is Hoobastank---Right Before Your Eyes ( a song that I have been obsessed with this weekend. I may have discounted this band based on their name, which you must admit is strange, way too soon.) And I this is such a Sophia song. So it is just an attempt to get back to Wolf Lake after way too long away. So here is my small attempt that I lay before you. Be gentle with me, I beg you.
"Dad, can we please not do this." Sophia slammed the glass she had been holding down, narrowly averting breakage. "I'm tired of fighting about this. I can't go to Italy."
"Because of Luke. Sophia, that boy is not what you need."
"Dad it is not about Luke." Sophia glanced at the time, desperate for escape. "I have to get to work."
Grabbing her bags she ran out of the house and slammed the doors behind her.
When the door shuts, don't worry about me
It's not attention that I want from you
I need you to trust who I'm gonna be
And
in everything I'm going to do
The diner was busier than usual. Which was saying something for the unspoken but acknowledged town hangout. Sophia welcomed the chaos. If she was busy with taking orders and busing tables she didn't have to think. It was when she was walking home that the thoughts came back. It was not that she didn't want to go to Italy. She did. There were moments she wanted it more than she could breathe. Italy was a part of a world that she had always dreamed about. Travel, education, new experiences. Seeing everything in the world that wasn't here. But right now she was straddling a world that scared her but enticed her also. She had never fit in here but she always wanted to. She wanted more than the fragile acceptance of the town's pack. The tenous friendships she had were with people who didn't know who or more accurately what she was but also were weary of trusting the sheriff's daughter. All she ever wanted was to feel like she belonged. To have the bond she had witnessed between members of the pack. To know where she was wanted, not where she simply exisited.
Constantly torn between two worlds was not that teenage dream life Sophia ruefully acknowledged. She had decided to stay home instead of going to a place where she desperately wanted to be because whatever happened . Her mother had had a card that was one of the things that Sophia had been given, a way for a young and grieving girl to keep her mother alive in her head, that said "Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." And she believed that. She knew her father had thrown away what had been seen as his destiny, the position of pack alpha, to be with her mother. Why could he not trust her to find her path?
Cause I'm not afraid of what I don't know
For understanding is all that I earn
But what is for sure is I'm going to go
I'm going to live and I'm going to learn
When Sophia reached her house she saw that the lights were on and her father's SUV was parked out front. Groaning she entered the house which had been the unwilling battleground for the confrontations that had been growing in scale for months.
"I am going to go work on my homework." Better to run and live to argue another day.
"Sophia, let's talk."
"We don't talk anymore Daddy. We fight. And I don't want to fight anymore."
And I know there will be mistakes that I will make
But I know none are worse than chances I don't take, take
Right before your eyes, I am changing
Changing
"Neither do I. Please baby."
Sophia nodded and came down the steps, shrugging out of her jacket. She is almost grown up. It seemed like a minute ago she was born. A tiny bundle of humanity in Marie's eyes. He wished his wife could be here. Her guidance would help Sophia so much right now. Help him. Having his daughter growing up, having the child that was his heart, taking steps away from him, was both heartbreaking and filling him with proud. The woman she was becoming..
When the door shuts, it shuts finally
A new person that I have become
I'll follow my heart to my destiny
He knew that Sophia didn't belong in this town. In many ways she was a victim to destiny broken. A choice made because the any other option would have been too painful. She didn't belong with the pack, no matter what that... boy, Luke thought. She was too beautiful, too precious to be caged here. To never see the world she has wanted to see since she was a child. He knew when his six year old daughter started planning trips with the globe and picture books her maternal grandmother sent her for her birthday, that his daughter was meant to travel this world. Even if that meant she had to walk away from him.
Right before your eyes I am changing
Changing
"I think it would be for the best if you went to Italy, but if you want to delay your entrance for a year and save money this year, you can. You have never been more farther than Seattle and I know that it was scary thinking of that big of a change."
"It was. I think that waiting a year would be good.
It was a skirting of the issue but a bridge between two people who were being torn apart. A peace that would allow them to rebuild their bond and give them both the strength for what lies before them.
Living in fear and the sorrow is done
There will be no more feeling that I'm all alone
I will surround myself with things that help me grow
Right before your eyes I am
changing
Changing
You laugh on the inside, I am changing
Changing
Right before your eyes I am changing
Changing
You laugh on the inside, I am changing
Changing
Right before your eyes I am changing
Changing
You laugh on the inside, I am changing
Changing
Right before your eyes
Right before your eyes
Fin
Okay (peeks head around the corner) Any comments. Like it, hate it, think I should abandon this whole writing thing to open a sandwhich stand?
First I apologize for abadoning my fanfiction for so long. Real life in the form of classes, illness, some depression and just having to be semi-responsible (does anyone else want a refund on this whole growing up thing.) But I would like to report the first twenty five pages of my screenplay got an 80 in my screenwriting class. And this semester I am only taking Biology and American History part two, so my creativity can not be drawn in so many different ways.
My goal is to try get as much writing as I can do done before Novemeber, hopefully finishing both stories I have in stasis. I am trying to make myself just write. Get over my block and onto the path of original work publication. Fanfiction is great as I not stressing about the issue surrounding my life, but the fun of writing.
Also before I forget the quote Sophia mentions is from William Jennings Bryan and is # 2264 from Laura Moncur's Motivational Quoatations at
And as a final note I think this is the first piece of work I have finished and posted from my laptop Athena. Hopefully Athena and I will be posting many pieces together in the future.