TITLE: What Went On?
AUTHOR: Hayley
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: I own no one
DISTRIBUTION: Ask first please
[Author's Note: teehee another review from jade! you always amaze me with them ;) and thanks to all those other who've reviewed constantly, hunters girl, me no dumb idiot, kate, meagan and lots of other ppl (sorry whoever i forgot, don't wanna go back and check, too lazy :P) but yeah, stay tuned,read and enjoy!]
CHAPTER 42
Amy got up and stormed after him but he wouldn't stop.
"Matt! Just wait! Please!" She yelled running after him. "Dammit Matt!"
He continued to walk acting as if he couldn't hear her. Just go away...please... He said to himself sadly.
"Matt! Dammit Matt just please stop!" She cried out as he got into his car. She finally caught up to him as she banged on his window.
"Amy leave." He said through the closed window as he waited for her to move.
"No." She responded firmly as her hand trembled against the window.
"Don't make it any worse than it already is."
"It can't get any worse than this."
"Yes it can." He gritted his teeth. "Leave. Now."
"NO!"
"Why the hell are you being like this?" Matt growled as he stepped out of his car coming face-to-face with her. Calm down! You're going to scare her!
"Matt...please..." She said putting her hands up in defense. "Just...don't leave...talk..."
"About what?! You always say you wanna talk, what the hell are we supposed to talk about?!?! How I want you but can't have you? How you can't make up your god damn mind about who you wanna be with? How I'm nothing but your toy when your boyfriend leaves your sorry ass for work?-"
Out of anger and hurt Amy's hand connected with the side of his face silencing him. When she pulled away her stinging hand, she covered her mouth in shock at how strong she had hit him. A red handprint was left on the side of his face as he gently grazed the mark with his fingers. She took a couple of steps back as she watched Matt's face fill with shock and pain.
"I'm sorry..." She pleaded as her eyes brimmed with tears. "Oh god...I'm so sorry...I'm such an idiot..." She wiped away her tears with the back of her hand while watching Matt shake his head angrily. He continued to say nothing but stood there in suprisement and whatnot. "Say something...anything..."
Instead, he turned around and quickly got in his car pulling away. Leaving her in the dust, Matt gripped the handles of the steering wheel tightly as he pulled out of the parking lot. He saw Amy collapse onto her knees as her eyes flooded with tears. Feeling nothing at the sight of her suffering, Matt focused on the road as endless thoughts ran through his mind.
Turning on the radio, he listened as an old song began to play.
Now I don't wanna lose you,
I don't wanna use you
just to have sombody by my side
And I don't wanna hate you
I don't wanna take you
But I don't wanna be the one to cry
That don't really matter to anyone, anymore
But like a fool I keep losing my place
And I keep seeing you walk through that door Speeding up, he just made the light before it turned red. Listening to the song, his facade of not caring broke as the true Matt showed his face. He didn't want to be the one to cry again. He felt like he had lost Amy for good during those 6 months that he went through hell for and then all of a sudden he sees her and he's kissing her once again.
Nothing could ever make him feel more complete than the feel of her kiss but to have her taken away from him again was too much. This time, he was going to call it quits before it could even start so he wasn't the one to end up hurt again. The urge to turn back and make sure she was alright surged through his body but something told him not to do it. He was at mixed crossroads that he no longer knew what to do or what he wanted.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Amy picked herself up off the ground of the parking lot as she began to walk home. Her eyes were red and swollen as she sniffled back some more fallen tears.
Reaching home, she climbed the steps to her room and crawled into her bed. Her shoulders heaved up and down as another set of heavy tears flew down her cheeks.
She fell asleep with a picture of her and Matt in her arms. The tears continued to fall onto the frame blurring the image of their happiness together in the picture.
Hours passed before a knock was heard on her door. Slowly, the person walked in and saw her tear-stained face and sleeping figure. Reaching for what was in her arms, their face fell at the sight of who was in the picture. Resisting the urge to ask her about it, they walked back out and quietly left her undisturbed.
Stirring in her sleep, she clutched the picture tightly as tears seemed to continually fall down her cheeks.
Now I could never change you
I don't wanna blame you
Baby you don't have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just want to have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking something's gonna change
Matt paced around his living room not knowing what to do. He hadn't allowed himself to cry knowing that once he'd start, who knows when he'd stop. He didn't know what he wanted anymore. At first it was a sure-fire thing that he'd do everything, and he meant everything to get her back. But now, after knowing that she's in a relationship and is somewhat willing to risk that for him made him think twice. There were so many goods and bads to sort through he didn't know where to begin. No matter how much he hungered to have her back in his arms, it didn't convey how much pain would be involved in getting her back. And he didn't know if he was willing to put up with all that emotion again.
But there's a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
It was past midnight when Amy woke up. Her heart jumped as the scent of Matt's colonge in the room filled the air. Looking around frantically, she slumped back down disappointedly seeing that no one was there.
You've gone so crazy that now your hallucinating him here... Amy thought sadly to herself as she pressumed the reason why she may have thought she smelt Matt's colonge was simply wistful thinking.
Looking down at the picture frame clutched to her chest, she wiped away some tears on the glass and stared intently at the happy couple.
Who are these people? She asked herself heavy-hearted. Why are they so happy? Why I can't I be like them? She traced over his face before pulling it back to her chest as she laid her head back down on her pillow. The smell of his colonge, whether it was really there or she had imagined it there, comforted her as she fell back asleep.
And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
there beside you where I used to lay
Matt rolled over in his bed, her spot vacant like it had been for the past 6 months. His heart ached to reach over and embrace her but knew that the only thing he'd be embracing was emptiness.
No matter how much he loved her, he didn't feel like he was strong enough to have what it took to get her back. He was too afraid to take another risk that no matter what he felt, he didn't have the courage to do anything about it. In his mind, he had given up on her. But whether his heart had done so too...even Matt didn't know.
And there's a Danger in Loving somebody too much
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just ain't enough
Baby sometimes love just ain't enough
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hey guys R/R thanks! The song used is "Sometimes love just ain't enough" by Don Henley and Patty Smith.