I'm with Cokie now, I mean she's fine and all but with her its almost like she expects me to read some smudged scrip, scrolled on my hand like were in a play. This isn't a play its my life. Like when I was with Mary Anne I was myself completely. Now it seems as if I'm a whole new person. Maybe I've changed for the better, but maybe not.

With Cokie I've never seen anyone so perfect, every strand of hair is perfectly set, with Mary Anne she knew she didn't need to look a certain way for anybody. I liked that about her, she was unique, but not strange. Although her lack of school spirit bothered me. Mary Anne just was Mary Anne, she wasn't a cheerleader or a nerd, she was just average. Sometimes I miss her, and other times I sit closer to Cokie.

Look at me now, pouring out my emotions in a journal like Mary-Anne, soon I will start to cry because I stayed out two minutes past curfew. I've decided to just write in this journal the Mary Anne gave me a few months ago, its just a basic blue plaid. Every time I see Mary Anne in the hallways at SMS, she smiling, laughing. Like she doesn't care what people think, Cokie, well she's a different story. One wrong outfit, or a pimple, she would have to hide, like it matters. Cokie is one of those people who hide behind the label of clothes, and make-up.

I feel like I'm tied up with her, but if I wanted to leave I have had the chance. My feet don't move. I guess she is pretty cool, I mean every guy envoys me, well everyone except for Alan Gray because that guys seriously obsessed with Kristy.

What am I saying, I'm totally into Cokie, here I am going on about Mary Anne, when she said I was to clingy because I cared! Her house just got burned down, her best friend/stepsister just moved away, and what did she want me to do. Laugh and walk away? I was the best a boyfriend could've been. Maybe I was a little bit bossy at times. But its not like she ever said anything! Her dad, he was so uptight, and he never let her do anything, god forbid have fun! Sharon she was trying to be so hip, and now, it didn't work, although she was better the Mr. Spier.

I was so in love with her, it didn't seem to matter. I mean she was just so sweet, and she was in love with me. Or at least it thought so. She was perfect, she was a bit over emotional, but we all have our flaws. She got super jealous when Cokie would hit on me, but when she would talk to other guys deep down I would be jealous. I just had a different way out getting it out. The thing I loved about her was that if I would talk, she would always listen, and be good at it. If I had something on my mind I wouldn't need a journal, I had Mary Anne. I had told her things I hadn't told anyone. She was always there, she was so sweet. Mary Anne would also confide in me, I haven't told anyone some of the things she told me, and I hope she hasn't told anyone about the things I said. I doubt she would have, she was very sincere.

Without Mary Anne, I feel that I'm not open with anyone, like I was with her. She wouldn't laugh at me, and she always seemed to understand. I loved her I really did. I did for a long time after, then Cokie came along. At first I wasn't into her and then I began to feel more for her. There are days where I just want to be with her, and then there are days where I can't stand her. Where she's plastic, completely fake.

That was one thing I didn't have to worry about with Mary Anne, she was always herself. That's what I liked about her. She wasn't afraid of being herself. Sure she was super shy, but one you get through the locks and keys, she a really great girl. Sometimes, I see couples looking so close, and look like their always happy when their together, and it reminds me of how it was with her. We were always happy together, I was always happy with her. Sure we had the moments where we both got really annoyed, but ten minutes later we would talk and everything would me fine.

I miss that, being able to have someone who I felt 100 my self with, someone who would care. Someone who would act normal around me when she was with her friends or when we were one on one. That's the thing with Cokie, she's really different around her friends. When she's around her friends, she's queen, she's always kissing you, and bragging, and just being so fake. Just to make people jealous. I can't stand that about Cokie. Not at all.

I want another relationship where I can feel at ease, like I did with Mary Anne. Completely normal.

I'm going on about Mary Anne again.

Now that I've written all this it's just come to me.

I'm in love with Mary Anne Spier. I really am!

Have I ever stopped liking her, or is this new? I don't know but all I know is that I love Mary Anne Spier! I don't know what to do about these feelings, do I hide them, do I break up with Cokie, do I ask her out? I'm not sure.

There is one thing I know I'm going to do though. I am going to break up with Cokie Mason.

I don't know when, or how. But I know that it would be unfair to Cokie if I was going out with her, when clearly I'm in love with Mary Anne.

I think I am going to go to sleep its past 12 and I have a Baseball meeting before school.

Logan rubbed his eyes, and peered at his digital clock sitting on his bedside table. It glowed the time 9:47. Logan jumped out of bed and got dressed into a pair of blue jeans, and a blue plaid button up t-shirt. He grabbed his bag and ran the way to SMS, he got there ate 9:55, he had 5 minutes of Science left.

He walked into his science class room, and sat down at the closest empty desk, next to Kristy Thomas. "Mr. Bruno, nice of you to grace us with your presence," his science teacher chuckled "We have just finished picking out year long science partners, and since you and Mrs. Spier were not here, you are now lab partners." The bell rang before I could protest, and Kristy just glared at me for some reason.

I met up with Cokie in the halls, she was surrounded by her friends. "Hey Cokie-" I said but was interrupted by her trying to kiss me. I just pushed her away, "I need to talk to you."

We stepped aside, her friends shooting us questioning looks. "Okay—Uh—I don't know how—to Ummm---say this. But I'm breaking up with you." I said waiting for a reply.

"I knew It!," she shrieked "All along you've been cheating on me with that frigid Mary Anne. I am so much better. But You had your chance. You blew it! Big Time!" Cokie stormed off.

About ten minutes later my friends met up with me in the hallways, "I heard you broke up with Cokie." One of them said, "Rumor has it, it was for the frigid bitch Mary Anne." Another one said.

Logan shuddered, although they were in middle school, he still hated it when people swore. Some more of his friends said some remarks and just walked away. Logan felt more alone then ever.

0When the lunch bell rang, Logan didn't know who to sit with. He practically had no one to sit with, he could sit with Alan Gray, but he was sitting at the BSC table. Logan approached the table. "Hi" he said, for one of the first times in his life, Logan Bruno was nervous and shy.