Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
Chapter Eighteen
Valentine's morning brought grey, dreary clouds threatening rain on Hogwarts. Remus awoke next to Ginny to the sound of thunder in the distance. He sighed quietly, not wanting to wake the sleeping beauty next to him.
He laid his head back against the pillows and brought the covers up over his naked torso to his shoulders. Glancing at the fire, he reached for his wand on the nightstand to rekindle it. He wanted the perfect atmosphere when Ginny awoke.
Noticing her stirring, he got up to pull on his robe, and he sat back down on the bed. Ginny lazily opened her eyes and peered up at the werewolf gazing down at her.
"Good morning, handsome," she said sleepily.
Remus blushed at her compliment and bent to gently kiss her. "Good morning," he replied against her lips.
Ginny tried to sit up, though the task wasn't easy, with her almost eight-month pregnant belly in the way. Remus stifled a laugh and helped her up. He shifted over to sit next to her. He reached up to tuck some of her red tresses behind her ear before taking her left hand in his.
"Ginny," he began nervously, "you know that I love you very much, and I'm so happy that we're together and that we're going to have a baby."
"But…" Ginny interjected.
"No," he replied with a chuckle. "No buts. I want you to marry me so we can live here together and raise the baby."
He was smiling broadly at her, awaiting her answer. However, her expression darkened, and she pushed his hands away and struggled out of the bed to a standing position.
"Remus, I can't believe you just asked me that," she said angrily. "I don't want to move here, and I don't want to get married."
"What?" he asked harshly. "Why not? I thought we loved each other."
"I do love you, Remus," she responded, not bothering to face him, "But I don't want to marry you just for the baby. I thought we'd been over this."
"No, Ginny, we haven't," Remus said with confusion. "I don't understand. I love you. I want to marry you and take care of you."
"But I don't want you to take care of me. I want to take care of myself," Ginny said icily. "I'm an adult, and I want my own life."
"Are you saying you don't want to be with me?" Remus asked.
"I want to be with you, but I want to live on my own and have my own life," Ginny replied. "I want to have my own career and not have to be dependent on some man for the rest of my life."
Remus sat back on the bed, feeling defeated, his head swimming with hurt and anger. He narrowed his eyes as Ginny finally turned to face him. "So what are you going to do? Wait for the baby to be born and then leave?"
Ginny nodded slowly and answered, "Yes, I'll be leaving for wherever I get a job."
"You will not take my child from me, Ginny!" he yelled, rising back to a standing position. Being a few inches over 6' in height, he literally loomed over Ginny's five and a half foot frame.
"Remus, we can work something out. Perhaps we can Floo back and forth or something. And I'll come visit you. I do love you, but I just can't sit at home or here in the castle and do nothing," Ginny explained.
"Ginny, I don't understand where all this is coming from," Remus said. "I thought we were in love. I thought we would get married and be a family. That's what you told your parents and brothers. You're backing out now?"
"I'm not backing out of anything!" Ginny shouted. "Why are you getting so upset just because I don't want to get married and be a perfect wife and mother? Don't you care about what I want? You're acting just like Oliver!"
Remus took a step back from her and stared at her in disbelief. "Don't you dare compare me to that ruddy prick! I'm nothing like him."
"Yes, you are!" Ginny fought back. "You're asking me to give up what I want to get married and raise a family. What if I don't want anymore children?"
"Ginny, we could have one child or a hundred," Remus argued. "I don't give a bloody damn, as long as we're all together."
"But I don't want any of that right now!" Ginny yelled.
"You should have thought about that before you begged me to make love to you in the dungeon then!" Remus regretted the words the minute they left his mouth. He swallowed hard, watching Ginny's eyes widen in surprise and then fill with tears.
"I thought I was going to be dead!" Ginny yelled through tears. She swallowed, and her voice was much softer when she spoke again. "Now I just wish you were."
"Gin, I'm sorry," he said softly, reaching towards her. "I didn't mean that. I wanted you just as much that night. I still do." He tried to take her hand, but she wrenched it away.
"Don't touch me," she hissed. She turned away from him and walked towards the door.
"Ginny, wait. Please," Remus begged.
With her back to him, Ginny spoke very softly, but very coolly and very calmly. "No, Remus. I don't want to talk to you or look at you."
"Ginny, you don't mean that. You're just angry," he said.
"I'm moving back to my own rooms. I'll get my things later, when you're not here. As soon as my studies are done next week, I'll leave Hogwarts."
"Ginny, please don't do this," he pleaded. "Please don't run away from me. You're just afraid."
"I'm not running away, Remus," she said. "I'm leaving you."
"You can't bloody leave me!" Remus shouted. "That's my child you're carrying. You have no right to shut me out!"
"I have every right!" Ginny cried. "I'm his mother! I'll contact you after he's born, and maybe we can figure something out."
"But I want to be there when he's born," Remus said.
"No, I don't want you there," Ginny said. "I don't ever want to see you again, Remus."
"Ginny!" he yelled as she left his room. "You can't do this!"
Unfortunately, Ginny had broken down in tears in the corridor and didn't answer.
Remus entered his classroom ten minutes late and slammed the door behind him. The sixth-year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws looked at him in shock but said nothing. Remus stomped to the front of the room and threw his book onto the desk.
"Open your books to chapter 18 and start reading," he barked. He sighed loudly and sank into the chair behind his desk.
A tentative hand in the second row went into the air. "Excuse me, Professor Lupin?" David Whittle asked.
Remus' eyes snapped up to look at the boy. "What?" he demanded.
"Sir, I thought today we were to start learning defenses to the Unforgivables," David reminded.
"Plans change, Mr. Whittle. Read," Remus snapped.
The boy next to David spoke up. "Sir, are you all right?" Jason Wells asked. "You seem out of sorts."
"Mr. Wells, my well-being is none of your concern!" Remus bellowed as he stood before the class. "There will be no need for talking today. Open your books to chapter 18 and read. Tomorrow you'll hand in two feet of parchment on the chapter."
The class groaned in unison. Professor Lupin had never assigned that much homework before.
He pounded his fist onto his desk. "Silence!" he yelled. "The next person I hear will have a week's worth of detention with Mr. Filch, so I suggest that everyone keep their mouths shut and read their chapter. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Professor," the class chorused.
Remus sat back down in his chair and continued to glare at the students until class was over. The students all collected their belongings and quietly left the room.
After the last student left, Remus pointed his wand at the door and muttered, "Collo portus." He then opened his desk drawer and pulled out an old photograph.
The picture was of a young woman, dressed in simple white dress robes. On her head was a crown of flowers, with a veil flowing off the back. She had light-colored hair (blondish-brown, had the picture been in color), and she smiled shyly at Remus from the old, battered frame. It had been seven years since he'd sat in this exact room, looking at this exact picture. Remus stared at the photograph and became lost in his memories…
Someone knocked on his office door and opened it without waiting for a response. Remus, however, didn't hear the person until she was directly behind him.
"Professor Lupin?" the young girl asked. "Were we still to have tea today?"
Remus turned in his chair to face his favorite second-year student. He smiled a small smile at her. "Miss Weasley, I didn't hear you come in."
"Sir, are you all right?" she asked worriedly looking into her professor's red eyes. "Have you been crying?"
"Not to worry, Ginny," Remus replied. "Your old teacher is just fine. Just…dwelling on the past, I guess."
"Who is she?" Ginny asked pointing to the picture. "She's quite pretty."
Remus turned back and looked at the photograph clutched in his hand. He smiled back at his student. "Someone I loved once a long time ago."
Ginny sat in the chair in front of his desk, as she did almost every afternoon. "She looks like a bride, all in white," she commented innocently.
"She was," Remus said simply.
"Who did she marry?" Ginny asked.
He sighed to himself and said with in a choked whisper, "Me."
Ginny gaped at her professor, then back at the woman in the photograph. She looked back at Remus, taking in his red, swollen eyes and felt tears prickle in her own eyes. "Oh, Professor, I'm sorry," she cried. "I'll go." She stood to leave, but he stopped her.
"It's okay, Ginny," he said quietly. "Please stay."
Ginny gingerly sat back down and stared at her lap. Her thoughts were interrupted by Remus' voice.
"Beth was her name. We had just graduated Hogwarts the week before we got married. We'd been in love since fifth year. She was a Muggle-born, just like me. We didn't have much after we married. I was working with the Ministry, and she was a house-witch. Just after Christmas she told me I was going to be a father. I was so happy. It didn't occur to me to be scared. We were only nineteen and thought we were invincible. We had our friends and each other. Nothing bad could touch us. But two months later, I came home and found her." His voice began to crack, and he paused to clear his throat.
"She was lying on the sofa. She looked so peaceful and happy. I just thought she was asleep. But when I couldn't wake her, I didn't know what to do. I got her to the hospital, but it was too late. She was gone. No one knew why. We never did."
While he was sharing this very private story, Ginny cried silently in her chair. Though they had shared many things before, stories from their pasts- she knew he was a werewolf, though no one else did; he knew she still had nightmares about Tom Riddle; he'd told her about his parents; and she'd told him of her fear that her brothers would never let her grow up. But she never expected to hear such an intimate story from her mentor, and she didn't know how to respond.
He finally turned back to face her, and Ginny could see tears in his eyes as well. "No one knows about her, except Dumbledore," he said quietly. "Everyone else who knew her, knew us, is gone."
"Sir, I'm so sorry," Ginny said. "I don't know what to say."
Remus sighed again and smiled weakly at her. "It's okay, Ginny. I don't even know why I told you. I was just thinking of her today. She died on Valentine's Day, so each year, my thoughts eventually turn to her."
"I understand," Ginny replied. "I won't keep you. I just wanted to wish you a nice Valentine's Day. I didn't know. I'm sorry." She started towards the door, but paused to hear his words.
"Thank you, Ginny," he said earnestly.
Remus stared at the picture until he heard a loud knock on his door. He turned to face the unwelcome intruder and found himself face to face with his least favorite coworker.
"Get out, Severus," he muttered.
"What's this I hear in the corridor about the even-tempered Lupin yelling at students, threatening detentions?" Snape mused.
"I said 'Get out'," Remus repeated. "Now."
Snape stared at him blankly and blinked several times. "Lupin, are you quite all right? Are you ill?"
"Your concern is overwhelming, Snape," Remus barked, "but get the hell out of my classroom!"
"Lupin!" Snape shouted. "What is wrong with you?"
Remus tried his best to glare at the Potions Master, but instead he broke down into tears and laid his head on his desk. "I've lost her, Severus. I've lost Ginny," he wailed.
Snape stood rooted to floor as he watched the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor cry onto his desk.
"What do you mean you've lost Ginny?" he asked.
Remus, through tears, choked out, "This morning. We had an argument. She said she never wants to see me again. She said we'd have to work out something with the baby, but she didn't want me around her anymore. I've lost her. I've lost both the women I love on the same day, just 22 years apart!" he cried.
"Lupin, I…I don't know what to say," Snape stammered in a softer tone.
"Just leave me," he sobbed. "Just leave me alone. Please."
Without another word or glance, Severus Snape left the room, headed straight for the hospital wing.
The minute Ginny saw him coming through the doors, she stood from behind the desk.
"Out," she said to the Potions Master.
"Miss Weasley, what happened with you and Lupin?" he asked, ignoring her command.
"It's none of your business," she replied firmly.
"But he's in a terrible state," Snape argued. "I demand to know what happened."
"You can demand all you want, Professor," she spat. "But it's none of your damn business. Now, I suggest you keep your abnormally large nose out of it if you know what's good for you!"
Snape's eyes widened, and he opened and closed his mouth several times before turning on his heel and exiting the infirmary.
Ginny watched him leave and returned to her seat, letting the tears fall without bothering to wipe them away.