You Hurt Me
Enjolras could hardly wait. Would she enjoy it? Yes, he needed to work on his skill a bit, but it was the thought that counted. Surely his true lady love would at least be tactful.
He crossed the dangerous neighbourhoods with ease, knowing Paris better than any urchin. This was in the name of true love. He had to get to her home as quickly as possible. He thought of his true lady love.
She was beautiful- not in the traditional sense, but beautiful to him. Her lips were like roses, her hair a red cascade of beauty, and her eyes delightfully fearful. Yes, she smelled a bit odd, but Enjolras didn't mind all that much. Her intelligence exceeded all other gamines, and her voice sounded like a thousand birds. . .notice we didn't say a thousand singing birds.
He finally reached her building, ignoring all attempts to mug him. As he fought off three thieves and a murderer, he opened his mouth and began to sing.
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Eponine was trying to fall asleep after a rousing game of life with friends when she heard it: a horribly off-key voice. The remains of the window shattered all over her, so needless to say she wanted know what the heck was going on.
"Do you really want to HUUUUURT MEEEE?! Do you really wanna make me CRYYYYYYY?!"
Covering her ears, Eponine slowly made her way to the window. A few car alarms sounded, adding to the din.
"D'you like it, baby?" said Enjy.
"I'm already spoken for!" Eponine cried.
"What?"
"I said I'm already spoken for!" she screamed.
Enjolras sniggered. "Come on, babe, admit it. You know just as well as I do that Marius doesn't pay atten-"
"It's not Marius!" said Eponine.
A young woman joined her by the window, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Pookie, what's going on?"
"Your ex's friend is plaguing me," Eponine complained. "Enjy, this is Cosette!"
"You- you-" Enjolras stammered. "But you can't!"
"Yes, I can," said Eponine. "Come on, Euphrasie, let's go find a motel."
"Pookie, you know I hate it when you call me that," said Cosette.
Suddenly Enjolras' shock was replaced by rage. The nerve of that Eponine to reject him for a woman! And Marius's woman!
"Eponine," he began, "I've tried to reason with you. But this is it!" He pulled a gun off of one of the thieves and aimed it. "I would never have gone out with you anyway. You were my second- no, third- no, fourth choice! All I want is Eppie- Jondrette's- 'ead!" And with that, he ran up into their room, knocked them both unconscious with said gun, and put them on a cart taking chickens to Bordeaux.
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"Well, my friend, I think it would be best for you to disappear from Paris for a while," said Grantaire. Enjolras had just finished recounting this tale of woe to his bestest friend (besides Marius).
"She still likes me, I know," said Enjolras, "therefore you owe me a thousand francs."
"There's a colony of people who have smuggled other people out of Paris on chicken carts in Nantes," suggested Grantaire. "A thousand francs should cover our expenses."
"Our expenses? Grantaire," said Enjolras, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."