Disclaimer: I do not own Slam Dunk and its characters; Takehiko Inoue does. I did not invent the title; I got it from the film Stepford Wives.

A/N: MitRu fans, don't kill me after reading this, er, and you can flame me if you want, yeah that's about it. By default, this is dedicated to Night Strider

So everybody thought that I, Kaede Rukawa, was dumb and too slow to process the thoughts and ideas which things were kind enough to generate. Some even said that if someone told me a funny joke, I'd live a happy old-age life. Well, I didn't laugh at jokes, simply because I found them shallow. Jokes were, in all manner of thinking, meant to conceal the sarcasm and cruelty of a statement to avoid unfavorable responses which may arise from them.

Take this one for instance.

"Hey, Kaede, wanna go out with me after practice?" Mitsui-sempai asked, giving me a very lustful wink, as part of Sakuragi's glorious success in spreading a rumor about me being gay. He concluded this under reasons that I dated none of the girls who had asked me out, and this fake-toothed jerk happened to find it funny to join in the fun.

I simply ignored him; I was not to abandon my reputation after a silly delusion of having him for a a date on a night like this. Fuck them if they thought I'd fall for that.

But later on I realized he did that to annoy me, not to make me fall in a trap which would eventually reveal my sexual orientation. Maybe I was really slow.

The point? Sempai was gay. How many times had I seen him down Kanagawa's darkest alleys, meeting up with a tall, spiky-haired someone? That was when I concluded that Akira Sendoh was nothing more than a cheap prick who was dying to be fondled in dark alleys, and my dear Sempai a cruel slut who took fancy over brainless, perhaps sadistic, pricks. And I, I was a tormented lad who would have given all to be chosen by the latter. And so I was gay.

It had always been clear to me how much I desired Mitsui-sempai more than anyone else would have reason to suspect, in spite of his despicable attitude towards me. He had always delighted the activity of teasing me about Sakuragi's opinion of my sexuality, which later on became his own as well. I would very much appreciate it if it were all a pretense to amuse only himself. But, as what my temper would allow, to have the redhead and everyone as an audience struck me as boorish.

At first, Sakuragi's malignant presence was clearly endurable, for he was not but a minor concern. Furthermore, the labor of getting rid of him did not appeal to me in any way. In time, I began to understand the extent of what I could take. They sure had made so much fun teasing me therefore, if I desired for this to stop, now was high time for me to acknowledge the insult.

"Hey kitsune, wanna play me one on one?" He sniggered and, just like what they were so fond of doing, winked at me as if to entice me into a foreplay, when I was just about the most cold-hearted prick who had ever held a basketball.

I declined, wholly convinced that the nuisance of his presence outweighed the pleasure to be gained by humiliating him by showing him how much my talents could make him gag.

"Why? Is Mitchy the only handsome guy around here? If he's what you want, I'll go get him." Taking pleasure from what he construed as humorous sarcasm, he went to get Sempai. Yes, he saw me as a really retarded person; I got the message. What I couldn't understand, however, was his failure to comprehend that I would sooner dig my own grave than give a damn hoot about his pranks.

With occasional stolen glances, I discerned Sempai's gloomy mood. He would not consent to cooperate with the redhead's occupation. I found this rare, because I had always found him to be always on Sakuragi's side in terms of the mode of enjoyment they prefer. In any case, I continued to practice my shots and was somehow glad about my freedom from their menace, if only for just this once.

I made my way home, feeling satisfied with the lack of pestering I normally would have suffered from sempai and Sakuragi. Dark clouds materialized above to warn about avoiding delay. Should I fail to take note of the weather, I'd be sharing an umbrella with some bimbo who stalked me every day on my way home.

I reached Haight Street, the last street I had to tread before my house. But to my astonishment, Sempai was there, and he didn't seem to be waiting for someone. He was heading home. Although he lived two blocks away from me, this was the first time our paths crossed, perhaps due to his constant meeting with the Ryonan ace.

So there he was, with his head down, looking pale and withered, with the hedgehog was nowhere to be found. I suffered to take the other street, fully aware of the additional twenty-minute walk I would have to cover. However, it was too late for that; he spotted me. I pretended not to see him, which was rather stupid because he was walking ahead of me.

"Rukawa?" He said wearily. I lifted my head to be greeted by a face so filled with agony.

I muttered a faint "hey" and headed to the other street's direction.

"Wait" he called out.

I didn't stop to hear what he had to say. I wanted to be alone, and obvious reason was that the thwarted longing I had for him was not present in me—strictly at that time. It was momentary, I know, for later on I'd be left wide awake in my bed as thoughts of him poison my comfort. Whatever the case was, at that very encounter he was denying me the silence and tranquility I could harmlessly enjoy.

"Hey," He persevered.

I stopped walking, purposing to demonstrate how little the despair in his voice could draw notice from me.

"What?"

"Can I talk to you?" He asked. In due course, I somehow felt he was hinting how much he wanted me to alleviate the helplessness he was in.

"I don't know, can you?"

"My house is two streets away. Perhaps you would wanna hang out…please?"

I nodded in agreement. He didn't want me; that much I could bet my life on. He just needed someone to be with. Sendoh clearly bred him to be accustomed to have constant company, rendering him a needy prat. And I was about to be that company.

We reached his house, which was empty except for his dog, Spikey. He motioned at me to sit, to which I did obligingly. He collapsed beside me.

We stared at each other for a while.

"I'm sorry for always teasing you, and uh, be informed it wasn't I who started it; it was Hanamichi." He started awkwardly.

"I know" Was all I could say. Of course, I was making it obvious that I was bored.

"I-it will probably sound ironic, but er, I-"

"You're gay. I know, you're with Sendoh" I said blankly. I could've followed that statement with 'Can I go now?'

His eyes grew wide open in astonishment.

"Sakuragi is delighted to tease you because he hates you. I, on the other hand, just want you to come out. But maybe you're not like that…" his words trailed off.

I didn't say another word.

"I hate him, you know, Sendoh. He's just playing with me, probably. I'm sorry-why am I telling you this?" He forced a smile.

I looked at him straight in the eye, in which action it dawned on me how affected he was by Sendoh's disloyalty.

I thought to myself, was it confusion which was causing him this behavior? I considered this thought because for every minute I continued to sit there, an inch of the gap between us was being filled by his advances.

I simply could not resist him. Our lips met before we could establish anything to prove if the act was rational or its opposite.

The kiss was over too soon. I wanted more of him, but he would not give away. It was just a moment of confusion. He looked at me with utter humiliation, his beautiful eyes wide.

I didnt know what came over me, but I knew one thing; it was only natural for me to doubt my ability to appease him and prove to him I was the right man.

It wounded me to see him regret his actions in , he wasn't the romantic hero I expected him to be and that was concluded soon enough. My mental accusation, though very accurate, did nothing to appease either of us. He longed for Sendoh, and simply because I was the only person around with whom he could satisfy his current needs, he came on to me.

To my genuine idiocy, I held his shoulder and asked why.

"I'm sorry—that was definitely uncalled for. It won't happen again, and, er, tomorrow I'll call Sendoh and fix things with him. Er, let's be clear here: you can forget what happened here." He said, stammering more apologies than I would've been willing to hear.

That was not the answer I was seeking. I wanted to know why the kiss didn't cause him bliss or joy, even satisfaction. But he need not answer that by words. Everything was crystal clear. His other choice was to let Sendoh go right then and there and be with me, but this was a choice he shunned. In my head, it couldn't have gone more official, because even as I was beside him, ready to support that decision, he still remained loyal to him.

I was not the one.

I stood up to commence my departure. He didn't speak at all, didn't even offer me an umbrella in the behest of pouring rain. I thought it fit to cry in the rain. Thankfully, I wasn't that stupid to perform something like that.

Was it all a joke? I didn't think so. In the day that followed, he was acting normally. He never teased me again, which was all he could provide after a very meaningful encounter with me. He just behaved exactly the way he would before his suspicions were confirmed as reality.

During a practice break he sat on the bench beside me. Sakuragi ordered everyone to give us space and shooed our teammates away, so that Sempai and I were the only ones occupying the bench. He thought it was still gonna be a joke.

"Hey" he started, "I'm sorry about last time. I didn't know what I was doing— uh, friends?" He offered his hand, which I didn't take.

"I love you Sempai." I said. It was so much easier to say, what with our conversation being out of everyone else's earshot.

He stared at me in disbelief and almost dropped the soda can he was holding.

"No, I can't be with you. I love Akira. But I can give you consolation, er—one night?"

"..."

What an asshole. What the fuck would I gain if I spent one friggin' night with him? I deserved more than that.

"I'm sorry. That's all I can give." He grinned amiably as though it was very natural to whore himself.

"I love you Sempai, but go get a mirror and fuck yourself. And if you get so tired after doing so, just doze off and don't ever fucking wake up." That must have been the longest sentence I ever spoke. This time, he dropped the can of Que Ria Soda he was holding.

That was certainly not a joke. As a matter of fact, I meant every word of that statement.

I walked away with utmost disgust. Needless to even mention, not a remainder of my admiration for him held me back. I supposed he was too stunned to utter another word. Well, that was what I was aiming at; to render him speechless. It didn't matter if I accomplished it with whatever method.

But this didn't mean I stopped loving him altogether.

And even now I always see him with the Ryonan ace, walking hand in hand in dark alleys.

I still love him, if truth be told. But, of course, I will love him even more if he just drops dead.

-END-

A/N: Sucks ne? Couldn't think of anything else. Thanks for reading anyway.