stain of my love, pt III
To Stephie, once again. This time for Christmas. Disclaimers and such in previous chapters.

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She traces one scar that travels across his chest with one finger and lying next to her, he sighs. It's morning outside his apartment, in the world. Reno feels relaxed on this blissful moment that's silent and sweet, like it usually is after sex with a person one mildly cares about, but he knows what's coming. He opens his eyes and she's looking at him already, lips slightly open and if he wasn't kind of pissed off at her because of what she's about to ask, he'd kiss her right now.

Please don't , Reno silently begs. Don't fucking ask it. Just. Please.

But she does. Holding her breathe for a moment, and then. The Question about the mysterious scars. The one they all ask.

"How did you get them?"

He has to admit her tone is different from all the others. This changes his reaction to The Question from being incredibly pissed off to being a little puzzled. She didn't sound curious, the kind of curious most girls are, the kind of curious that means "I want to know, but don't actually want to know the truth".

Equivalent to "Does this dress make me look fat?", the question Reno would have to hear, maybe, if he ever stuck around that long. He's smart enough not to. Ever.

She sounds more interested than curious. In Reno's head the two things are very different.

"Do you really want to know?" he asks slowly, sliding a finger up her bare arm. She's one of those girls he never thought would agree to do this with him. He likes it, the strange affair where they meet up and do it or sometimes don't, sometimes she just makes him laugh and he does the same to her. Reno doesn't want to lose this for now.

They always do it in his apartment. They meet somewhere between Sector 7 and Sector 8 and everyone recognizes him when they travel on one of the trains but no one ever says shit because it'd only mean trouble for that person. He wears sunglasses in case they run into someone from the Big Office, the HQ, but they never do - no other Shinra employees live in the neighbourhood Reno lives in.

His apartment is not huge, but it's big enough. They only use the bedroom for the most part anyway and he wants to tell himself this is just one of those meaningless, dirty affairs he has with random women every now and then. But it has last way too long in order to be meaningless. And Aeris is just much too affectionate in order for the sex to be dirty.

He can't even call it "fucking" anymore. Because it just isn't. Perhaps it never was.

"Do you really want me not to know?" she asks innocently.

He smirks, she's far too clever for him and he doesn't necessarily want to admit that yet, but he'll admit she was clever with that question. So he decides to tell her a story. It's a brutal one, but he leaves out the parts that'd shock her too much. He starts calling it the Aeris-version of the story. Perhaps one day he'll re-edit it so he can tell it to his kids.

Or not.

"Oh," she says after he has finished and her hand moves lower on his chest, teasing instead of gentle now and he smiles at her and she smiles back.

Kind of like the always do.

He smiles at her and doesn't realize what is happening until it's too late. She's placed her arms around him and she presses her body close against him. So close. So soft.

She doesn't want sex anymore, she wants to cuddle now. That's right. Just cuddle.

Reno doesn't do that. Reno won't do that. It speaks about emotions he doesn't want to have, feelings he doesn't need right now. He knows she'd like to. She may not be all sugar like he thought but she's still a girl. A good girl.

He doesn't need to be tied to her right now, or ever. This stupid girl with her silly flowers. She's got her eyes closed, this blissful look all over her face he doesn't want to destroy, but has to.

"With her stupid flowers," he mumbles as he gets up. She looks up at him, big eyes wide with confusion and something inside him argues to just stay and put it with all the cuddling she wants to do but he refuses to listen.

"Where are you off to now?" she asks, disappointed and slightly annoyed and Reno can't look at her.

"Work," he says while getting dressed.

At the door he stops, thinks.

"You can have some breakfast, but leave before noon, okay?" he tells her, still facing the door. He hears rustle of sheets and then her voice, tinier than before.

"Okay."

He doesn't want to think about that tiny voice but it stays with him the entire day.