Ryan knew that he wasn't alone.  Fresh flowers and perfume.  He opened his eyes and glanced beside him and realized that Summer was with him.  She had her arms wrapped around his waist and her head nestled against his chest.  He winced as he raised his sore arm and brushed her hair out of her face so he could see her face.  She was peaceful.  She deserved it.

He'd never felt this way about anyone.  He felt like he'd shrivel up and suffocate from the lack of her.  He needed her.  He knew that someday he'd hurt her but he needed her too much to let her go.  He knew that he couldn't live without her.  It wouldn't be worth it.  His life wouldn't be complete without her.  But he hadn't kept her safe.  Her father, he'd hurt her. 

"Ryan?" Sandy's voice was tentative from the doorway. 

"Hey, Sandy," Ryan whispered.  His own voice made his head start to pound. 

"How's your shoulder?"

"It's okay." It hurt like hell but he didn't want to leave Summer.  Yesterday, he'd made Sandy take her home so she wouldn't be alone.  She should never be alone.

"Let her sleep.  You should come down and eat something."

"I'm…"

"She needs to sleep.  You need to eat," Sandy said.

Ryan slipped out of her arms and she immediately pulled the excess blanket into a ball and held it to her chest with an irritated sigh.  She didn't open her eyes.

Ryan grabbed a shirt from his dresser and met Sandy in the hallway. 

"Don't put that on yet.  Kirsten wants to change your bandages," Sandy said as they slowly walked down the stairs toward the kitchen.

"I can do it…"

"Yes, we know, but it's our job," Sandy said.  "Sit down, kid."

Ryan sat down at the counter.  Kirsten yawned as she walked in.  She patted his back as she headed for the coffeemaker.  "Morning."

"How're you doing, Ryan?" Sandy asked gently. 

"I'm okay…"

"We haven't really had a chance to talk to you since all this…"

"I'm okay," Ryan repeated. 

"Ryan."

"I…I didn't touch him…" Ryan whispered slowly, raising his gaze to meet Sandy's.  "But I would've hurt him…"

"Summer told us…that you didn't even fight back, that you just protected her…"

"But…but it wasn't because I wanted to…I wanted to make him pay, I wanted him to die…does it matter that I'm not the one that pushed him down the stairs?  Because I wanted…"

"Honey, stop," Kirsten said.  She walked over to him and put her hand on his good shoulder.  "You didn't do anything wrong.  All of us were angry at the way he treated Summer.  She doesn't deserve that.  This isn't your fault…"

He shook his head.  "I don't know…"

"We do.  It's not your fault.  There's nothing you could have done.  Mr. Roberts had a mental problem.  He had lost his mind.  He wasn't her father anymore…" Sandy started.

"I know…"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Kirsten whispered.  "You can't blame yourself.  You were protecting Summer and…"

"And a man is dead," Ryan finished.  A shudder ran through him and Kirsten pulled him into a hug. 

"Ryan…"

"I know…it's not my fault…but it still feels like…like I could've done something…"

"What else were you supposed to do?  You got her help, you kept her safe…you did everything that you could…"

Ryan pulled out of her embrace with a wince. 

"Sorry…" Kirsten apologized. 

"I'm sore, I'm sorry…" Ryan said. 

"Don't apologize.  I want to change your bandages, okay?"

"I told Sandy…"

"Humor me.  Just stay where you are and I'll take care of it."

Ryan nodded.  He closed his eyes as Kirsten gently lifted his bandages and pulled them away from his skin.  The stitches stood out harshly against his pale flesh. 

"Sandy, get his medicine…"

"It's fine…" Ryan said, not opening his eyes. 

"Looking at this makes me hurt, Ryan.  I insist," Kirsten said.  She nodded to Sandy.  He left the room for a moment and returned with Ryan's prescriptions. 

Ryan didn't speak again as she cleaned his wound and bandaged it again. 

"All done," She said.  "You okay?"

"I'm okay, thanks," He sighed.  She picked up the shirt that he'd brought with him and handed it to him.  He gingerly slipped it on. 

"How's Summer?" Kirsten asked.

"Sleeping.  What'd I miss?" Ryan asked quietly as he turned around and stared at the bowl of dry cereal that Sandy had placed in front of him. 

"Not much, kid," Sandy replied.  "We've arranged for Mr. Roberts' funeral…"

"Shit…how'd Summer take that?"

"She's thinking about it.  What about you.  Can you handle that?"

"I'll…I'll do whatever she needs me to do…" Ryan replied.

"Ryan…"

He fingered a piece of cereal before wrinkling his face in disgust. 

"You have to eat something."

"I know.  But not this…" He muttered.

"I can make you something…" Kirsten offered immediately. 

"I thought you wanted me to eat," Ryan replied evenly.  Sandy laughed.  Kirsten stuck her tongue out at him.

"Morning, everybody.  Hey, the zombie has risen!" Seth teased as he entered the kitchen. 

"Hey, man," Ryan nodded.

"Your mother was going to make some breakfast," Sandy said seriously. 

"God, what did we do to deserve such punishment?" Seth gasped. 

"That's enough, guys, I get it…" Kirsten sighed.

"What kind of family would we be if we let you embarrass yourself like that, I mean, we're just doing this because we love you, Mom, and we don't want you to suffer the humiliation of burning dry cereal again," Seth teased.  He sat down beside Ryan at the counter.

"I'll make some calls.  Thank god that you can get take out at any hour in this city," Sandy grinned. 

"I'll call them," Kirsten sighed.

"So where's Summer?"

"She's upstairs, sleeping when I left," Ryan admitted.  Sandy pushed several pills across the counter to Ryan.

"Ah, so you're drugging him already," Seth nodded.  Sandy glared at him. 

Ryan didn't protest like usual.  He accepted the pills and swallowed them obediently. 

"What's on the menu?" Seth asked, picking up Ryan's prescriptions and examining them. 

Ryan closed his eyes. 

"Man, what's the Xanax for?  I thought that…" Seth started.

"I've been taking it since I started going to therapy," Ryan said quietly. 

"Anti-depressants?" Seth asked.

"Seth.  It's none of your business," Sandy whispered. 

"But…"

"It's cool, Sandy," Ryan sighed.  "I'm not ashamed of it." He turned to Seth.  "The doctor says it helps keep me level.  I take one every day.  If I flip out, I'm supposed to take a valium." It had taken a long time for him to come to terms with the fact that he had to take drugs to feel normal.  Summer was the only person besides Sandy and Kirsten that knew he took them.  She had always been supportive.  He saw the therapist once every two weeks.  He never thought he'd consider it, but the therapist had helped him.  A lot.  He wasn't sure how much the drugs were helping, but the therapist had made him see a lot of things that he'd never been able to see before. 

"Oh…I didn't know, man, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean…"

"Seth, its fine.  I mean, my nightmares are better, I feel better and…it's just fine, okay?" Ryan said. 

"Okay.  Yeah…" Seth nodded.

"I'm going to go check on Summer and get dressed," Ryan said with a sigh.  He loved the Cohens, but talking to them was exhausting.  They made him talk about his feelings, they forced him to face everything that he struggled to keep down inside.  He needed to see Summer.  He walked past them and up the stairs.

"Is he okay?" Seth asked.

"I think so.  You shouldn't tease him about his medication.  It's helping.  You know how hard it was to get him to agree to take medication?" Sandy whispered.

"I didn't know, Dad.  I mean…he's better, everyone can see it…but I didn't know that he was taking antidepressants…I mean, its Ryan…" Seth replied.

"Everyone needs a little help sometimes, Seth," Kirsten said quietly. 

"It's cool.  I'm sorry.  I hope I didn't upset him," Seth sighed.  "I mean, he's got enough on his mind."

"How are you dealing with all of this?"

"With what?"

"Summer…her father's death…"

"It sucks.  But I'm glad that Ryan came to you for help," Seth replied.  "She begged him when it first happened not to say anything, she sort of…she guilted him into not telling, I think…"

"What?  What do you mean, 'she guilted him'?" Kirsten asked.

"No, not like that…I just think she used his past against him.  Like, he didn't ever say it outright but…she asked him why her dad hitting her was different from his…from his own family.  And he couldn't say anything…" Seth whispered.  "So…I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm really glad she's here.  I mean, it sucks that Ryan's girlfriend gets to move in while mine lives all the way across town…"

"Anna's house is ten minutes away, Seth…" Kirsten replied.

"Details.  Anyway, since Ryan's girl gets to stay over now, I'd like to discuss…" Seth started.

Summer was still asleep when Ryan returned to her side.  She looked so small in his bed, hugging the covers against her chest.  He wanted to put his arms around her and never let go. 

"Are you staring at me?" She murmured, rolling over and looking at him with groggy eyes.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because you're cute."

"You think I'm cute?" She smiled.  He crawled onto the bed by his knees and their lips met in the middle. 

"I think you're sexy…and hot…and…"

"I totally need to brush my teeth," She laughed, turning her face away.  Her brown eyes flashed suddenly as she remembered why she was in his bed.  He sensed her turmoil immediately and his arms found their way around her. 

"It's a new day, Summer…" He murmured as he kissed her cheek.

"I know…I'm glad you're away.  And lucid."

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"You did.  You wouldn't answer me and you were only listening to Cohen and that's just not right, you know?  Taking orders from Cohen?"

"Sorry," Ryan grinned. 

"How are you feeling today?"

"Depends.  How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay…it helped to wake up to you…the only thing better would be to wake up with you," She replied.

"I just came up to check on you and get dressed.  The Cohens are ordering some breakfast," Ryan explained. 

She settled beside him on the bed, wrapping her arms around him as well.  She sighed.  "I wish I could have some time with you today."

"You can have all the time you need, Summer, what's wrong?" Ryan asked.  He'd never seen Summer seem so needy before.

"Nothing," She sighed.  "The Cohens have been great, they're just…great.  And Seth and Anna have been awesome…but…but you're my rock and…and I've really missed you…"

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here, okay?" Ryan whispered, rocking her as she started to cry softly.  "Don't cry…"

"I'm so sorry, Ryan…I just…you were hurt and when you came back, you wouldn't answer me…" She choked.

"Sorry, Summer, I'm really sorry…you know how those drugs get to me…but I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere…" Ryan whispered.  "I will never leave you…we made a promise, remember?  We're in this together…"

"I know…I love you so much…" She replied, squeezing him tightly.  She didn't release him even when he started to breathe shallowly from the pain. 

"You want the shower first?"

"Can we take one together?  I'd…I'd like to be close to you…" She said, tears still on her face. 

"Summer…I don't know if…"

"No sex, Chino.  You're in no shape to be able to do what I'd demand from you," She smiled.  "But it'd save hot water and…"

"If we get caught, I'm not taking the fall for you," Ryan teased, standing up and taking her hands.  He helped her off the bed. 

"You okay?  You look a little…"

"Kirsten just changed my bandages and stuffed me full of drugs," Ryan said, putting his hand on her back and leading her to the bathroom. 

"Aww, already?" She pouted.  "I wanted to have a sober Chino…"

"I'll stay lucid for you," He replied.  "So while you take a shower, I'll get cleaned up…"

"I'll make sure your bandages don't get wet if you want to shower…"

"It's okay, I'll…"

"Ryan, just get in here," She smiled, pulling him into the bathroom.

Seth was still trying to convince his parents that Anna should have 'shared bed rights' like Ryan and Summer. 

"I mean, why can't Anna spend the night sometimes?"

"Seth.  Don't play us.  We know that Anna does spend the night sometimes.  Just because Ryan doesn't live in the poolhouse doesn't mean that we don't keep a watch on the poolhouse," Kirsten said quietly. 

"Oh…" Seth was speechless. 

"You shouldn't have pushed it," Sandy smirked. 

"It's sure taking Ryan a while to check on Summer.  Should we go up?" Kirsten asked.

"Give them some time.  I'm sure there's nothing…happening.  She won't overexert him while he's so hurt," Sandy remarked.

"We're going to have to seriously discuss some new house rules," Kirsten said quietly.  "No sex in the house just isn't going to work anymore.  They'll be spending all their money on motels."

"So we get an increase in our allowance?  That would be awesome," Seth joked. 

"Seth," Kirsten scolded. 

"Sorry.  But I mean, we're like, almost adults now.  We're both in committed relationships and you guys know that we have sex…"

"Stop it, Seth.  When I meant that we had to discuss it, I meant your father and I.  We're well aware of your opinion," Kirsten nodded. 

"Okay.  I guess I'll go upstairs and call my girlfriend.  On the phone since she's not readily within my reach," Seth added as he left. 

"God.  What are we going to do with him?" Kirsten asked, leaning her head against her husband's shoulder.

"Hope he grows out of it…"

"You've been saying that for years," She laughed. 

Ryan returned to the kitchen, freshly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.  His hair was wet but he didn't offer an explanation.  Summer followed him, her hair wet as well as she sat down beside him at the counter.

"How are you today, Summer?" Sandy asked.

She smiled.  "Better.  Now that Ryan's actually back in reality."

"We're all glad about that.  Breakfast should be here shortly," Kirsten said. 

"What's happening today?" Summer asked.

"I've contacted your father's family and notified them of the service in a couple of days.  Your father had a will and his attorney is handling all of that…he wants to discuss it with you.  I told him that you would call him when you were ready."

"Okay," Summer nodded.  Ryan put an arm around her and she leaned against him.  "You'll come with me, right?"

"I'll do whatever you want," Ryan replied.

"I wish I had Sandy that well-trained," Kirsten grinned.  Ryan rolled his eyes at her but smiled.

"I'll call him after I eat something.  What else?" Summer asked.

"I know this is hard, but since we've decided on an open casket…" Sandy started.

Summer shuddered.  "I have to see him, don't I?  To see what he's wearing and stuff, right?"

"We can handle it for you, Summer but…" Kirsten started.

"No, you're right.  I should be the one to handle it." She glanced at Ryan.  "Can Ryan come with me to my house to pick out a suit for him?"

"If he's up to it," Kirsten replied after a pause. 

"Yeah.  I'm fine," Ryan said immediately.

"If you're too sore…" Summer started.

"No, I'm fine.  I mean, I'm still pretty cloudy from the painkillers but as long as I don't have to drive, I should be fine," Ryan replied quietly. 

"Are you sure you want to do this, Summer?"

"Yes.  I owe him that much.  I mean, even though he was a total bastard…he was sick.  But I can't forget about the sixteen years before that when he was a reasonably good father.  He was all I had left of my family and now he's gone.  He deserves a proper burial," She said slowly.

Ryan squeezed her shoulder, reassuringly. 

"Okay."

"Should we go through his things?"

"Why don't I get his attorney to meet you at the house?  I'll bring him over so he can talk to you about your father's wishes and if you…" Sandy started.

"It's a little soon to start going through his things, don't you think?" Ryan asked quietly.

"Yeah.  Too soon.  I don't even want to step foot in that house again," She admitted.  Sandy and Kirsten seemed relieved.

"We'll go over and get the suit and see how you feel, okay?" Ryan offered.

"Should I take the suit to the funeral home?  So they can…so they can put him in it?" Summer whispered.

"No one expects that…" Sandy started.

"I don't want a stranger to be taking care of him.  He's my dad…" She said quietly. 

"We'll let the funeral home know that you're coming," Kirsten said, giving her husband a knowing glance. 

"Thanks."

"Do you want us to come with you?" Sandy asked. 

"I think…I think I need to do it by myself.  Like, with just Ryan," She amended.  "I mean…this sucks and you've done so much already…"

"Honey, we'll do anything you need," Kirsten said immediately.

"I know, and believe me, I'll be taking you up on that at every opportunity but…I just think I have to do this myself."

"Okay, Summer.  But if you change your mind…"

"She'll call," Ryan said.