AN: Here's chapter two. Don't worry, Artistic!Ryan will reemerge soon enough, but we're working through some P,D,P here. Got to get the boy to accept his place. If he has one.
He did what he was supposed to do. He kept walking.
He heard the bastards' comments but he kept walking.
He couldn't fight.
He was on probation, he couldn't afford to get into a fight.
So when the punk grabbed his arm, sure, he spun around. Self-preservation. He held his hands up to show that he was non-threatening. He could not fight.
"Heard you got your wings clipped."
He didn't say anything. He couldn't. Sandy was depending on him. He could not fight.
He tried to turn around and keep walking but they had him surrounded.
"See? The pussy can't fight back…he'll go to jail…"
They held his arms.
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"Cohen?"
He was sitting on the steps waiting for Ryan. Ryan usually wasn't this late but he thought that he was in the library studying. All the kid did lately was study. He turned around immediately at the sound of her voice. "Summer?"
She grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. "You have to come…"
He didn't know what she was talking about but he followed her. She was strong for such a little thing.
"Summer, what…"
"They beat him up, bad…"
"Who?"
"Chino…"
Shit. He'd known something was bothering Ryan but he hadn't considered the Newport bully patrol to be one of the things on his mind. Ryan could hold his own. But he wouldn't. Seth should've known this would happen.
Ryan had just gotten a lecture from his Dad this morning. Don't fight. Don't get into trouble.
"Shit…" He muttered when he saw his friend. He hurried to his side.
Ryan was crumpled and bloody in the nook behind the air conditioners. His face was smeared with blood and his arms were holding his stomach. He was curled up. Crumpled.
"Give me your keys, I'll pull up right there," Summer motioned to a fire lane a few yards away.
"Ryan?" Seth kneeled beside him.
He was breathing shallowly, but breathing. His eyes were closed. Seth shook him gently. "Ryan?"
Ryan groaned, pulling away from Seth and grimacing.
"Can you walk?"
Ryan kept his eyes clenched closed and when he opened his mouth, he took several shaky breaths. "Help me up, Seth…"
He took Ryan's arm and supported him to his feet. Ryan's grip was tight. He was strong and tough, Seth knew that if it hadn't been for his father, Ryan wouldn't be this beaten. Ryan had taken a beating because he didn't want to disappoint Sandy.
Ryan leaned against the wall and still hadn't opened his eyes. "Am I up?" He whispered.
The Range Rover screeched to a halt behind them.
Ryan's strength waned and he started to slide down the wall.
"You're up, man, come on…" Seth put his arm around Ryan's waist and laced this thumb through a belt loop of his jeans. Ryan shuddered from the contact but after a moment, put his arm around Seth's shoulders and they began to walk.
"He needs a hospital," Summer said as she held open the passenger door.
"No hospital…Sandy'll kill me…" Ryan said urgently. "I'm okay…"
"Get in, man, we'll figure something out…" He said. He couldn't take Ryan to the hospital without alerting his father. He knew that his Dad would listen and do everything he could to help Ryan but Ryan was in no shape to listen to him. Ryan hadn't done anything wrong but he was still clearly terrified of facing his Dad.
Ryan climbed into the SUV and sunk into the seat. He hadn't even wiped the blood from his face.
"Call me if you need anything," Summer said, holding out the keys.
"Thanks."
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"Mom?"
"In the den, Seth," She replied. She had worked from home all day. The work seemed less daunting when she could sit on her own couch.
Seth stepped in. "Mom…I need your help…"
She saw the blood on his shirt. He was scared and she was immediately alert and concerned. "What's wrong?"
"Okay, so, Ryan's not supposed to fight and he's really worried about Dad getting mad but…" He was speaking rapidly and she was already on her feet. "He's really messed up and every time I try to help him, he freezes up…"
"Where is he?" She'd been thinking about Ryan all day. His habits. His quiet, non-threatening presence. His protective loyalty toward Seth and Sandy. She wanted him to stay. She believed in him. It took seeing his drawings for her to realize how special he really was. She should've given him a chance at the start, maybe then they'd have a better relationship.
"Is Dad going to freak? Because he didn't fight back, he didn't do anything…"
"Where is he?" She repeated.
"He's not himself, Mom…he thinks that I'm trying to hurt him but I'm just trying to help him…" Seth was panicked.
She took her son by his shoulders. "Where is he, Seth? I'll take care of him…"
"The poolhouse…"
She left him standing in the kitchen and broke into a trot across the patio.
He was hurt. She saw him crouched outside the bathroom and there was a smear of blood on the wall. She couldn't see his face because his blood caked hair was shielding it.
"Ryan?" She called gently, kneeling beside him.
"I'm okay…don't…" He murmured.
"I'm not going to hurt you…I need you to look at me…please?" She needed him to hear her.
He opened his eyes. "Kirsten?" His face was swelling and she could see that it hurt him to open his eyes.
"You're hurt. I need to help you…"
"I'm sorry…" He pulled away from her touch, guilty.
"You didn't do anything wrong…come on, Ryan…" She pulled him to his feet and tried to ignore the whimper of pain when she touched his side. She managed to help him stagger to the bathroom but before she could stop him, he collapsed against the wall and sunk to the floor.
"Okay, okay, Ryan…" She said gently, kneeling beside him. "Sit up…" She leaned him upright against the wall. His nose was bleeding. His lip was bleeding. He had small cuts on his face that were bleeding. She grabbed a washcloth and wetted it. She put it against his face and he tried to turn away from her touch. She wondered if he'd ever known a gentle touch. "Just look at me, okay?"
He looked at her with glazed eyes and let her clean his face. He was breathing shallowly, but he kept looking at her. He couldn't seem to focus on her but he was listening.
"Ryan, you need to take your shirt off…"
"No…" He said immediately.
"Ryan, I'm not going to hurt you…"
He shook his head and tried to push himself into the corner. "No…I'm sorry, I'll stop, just leave me…"
"Honey…its Kirsten, okay? I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to help you…" She forced herself to stay calm. All the weeks that he'd been here and she'd never seen him this vulnerable. She'd never known what he looked like with his walls broken down. He was so scared, he was scared of her.
"I'm sorry, just go…" He turned his face away from her and curled up protectively.
"Ryan? Ryan, look at me…its Kirsten…" She reached for him and carefully turned his head to face her. He blinked and after a moment, he seemed to recognize her. "Okay, honey…I'm not going to hurt you, but you have to help me, okay?"
He shuddered suddenly and clenched his teeth but finally gave her a timid nod. He looked like a child, a frightened, abused child. She shook off her pity and focused on helping him.
"Your shirt…" She took the hemline of his shirt and pulled it off as gently as she could manage. His chest was bruised already and he was breathing was rapid and she wondered if he was hyperventilating. She took the washcloth and tried to clean the blood that was on his neck and shoulders. As soon as she touched him, he flinched.
His eyes clouded suddenly and he pulled away from her again. "Stop…please…"
"Ryan…"
"I didn't…I won't…please, let me go…I'll be good, I promise…" He whispered. She could tell that he didn't know where he was. Seth was right, he wasn't himself. He'd never let himself be seen like this.
She didn't know what to do. He wouldn't let her help him, he was afraid of her. She had to be the adult here. She had to get control.
"Ryan. Look at me…its Kirsten…you're hurt and if you don't want me to call the ambulance right now, you have to look at me…"
He seemed to listen to her but didn't look at her. He pulled his knees up to his chest and took a deep breath. "Okay…okay…give me a minute…"
He was trying. As she watched, across from him, she saw him trying to get himself together. He started to breathe deeply despite the pain that flashed on his face. He finally turned and met her gaze. She recognized him through his pained eyes.
"Better?"
"I'm okay, now…sorry…" His discomfort and odd guilt was evident. He was trembling.
"I need to clean you up so I can see where you're hurt…"
He hesitated. "I can do it…" He started to try and get up but she stopped him.
"I know you can. But this is my job, okay? Let me take a look…let's get you to sit on the toilet, all right?" She helped him get to his feet and they turned and she lowered him to sit on the closed toilet.
His nose was bleeding again and she grabbed a Kleenex and pushed it against his nose. "Hold it there, okay?"
He obeyed. She picked up the washcloth and began to examine him closely. When she returned her attention to his face, he had his eyes closed.
"You okay? You still with me?"
"Yeah…I don't really like to be touched," He whispered. His body was completely tensed. But he was steady for her sake.
"I'm sorry, honey, but I'm trying to help you…"
"I know…I'm sorry, too…I'm freaking out…"
"You know…Sandy's not going to be mad at you…he loves you, he knows that…" She had to make him relax. She had to make him safe. Sandy would never forgive her if she didn't help Ryan.
"I'm not supposed to fight…and I didn't…" He started.
She knew how hard he was trying to fit it. It couldn't be easy. He was being forced to adjust in a place where he wasn't welcome. She hadn't made him welcome. She'd made him go to all the Newport social events, she made him go to the private school where the kids beat him this badly just because he wasn't born here. He was trying so hard but it wasn't getting easier for him.
"Honey, you didn't even defend yourself?" She asked quietly. She regretted it instantly, looking at him.
He lowered his gaze. "Sandy said it was never okay to fight." She waited and he looked at her again. "When is it okay to fight back and when is it okay to just shut up and take it? I mean, are there rules somewhere written down?"
"I'm sorry, Ryan…you might need a doctor, your head…"
"No doctors…" He said, leaning back.
"Ryan…I think that your ribs may be hurt, doesn't it hurt when you breathe?"
"I'll be fine…"
"That's not what I asked…"
"Yeah…it does…I probably just bruised them, I'll be fine…"
"Honey…" She took his face in her hands and he didn't flinch. He looked up at her. "You need a doctor. I'll go with you, okay?"
He hesitated.
"What?"
"Um…I don't like doctors…"
"You need to go to the doctor, Ryan. I'll be with you, I won't let them do anything without your permission…"
"Can I make a request?" He asked quietly, relenting with a sigh.
"What?"
"Can it be a lady doctor?"
She didn't want to know why that was his request. She didn't want to question him. He was more fragile than she ever imagined. She nodded. She'd never let him see it.
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God, he was having a shitty day. First, the beat down after school, then his little mind trip in the bathroom with Kirsten and now he had to face Sandy.
Kirsten had been fiercely protective of him in the doctor's office. He knew that he must have said something that freaked her out in the bathroom but the time immediately following his attack was a blur. He hadn't become completely clear until the doctor had given him the shot of pain medication in his ass. It was like everything came back into focus once he could breathe again without the crushing pain in his chest.
He did what he was supposed to do, he had tried to walk away. And when the boys got done beating him, he didn't call out, he didn't ask for help because he knew that he'd get blamed. He was the punk kid from Chino. He must've been asking for it.
"Ryan? You still okay?" Kirsten had pulled her chair up close to the examining table.
He gave her a nod. Yesterday, he'd thought that she was lying or trying to please Sandy when she'd talked to him but she was coming through for him today. He wasn't sure what he thought about her change of heart but he needed something to lean on right now and he was too tired to question her current motives.
His own mother had never taken him to the doctor when he was hurt, it was usually Trey or Arturo but Kirsten seemed genuinely concerned about him.
He'd scared her, that much he knew.
He knew that this doctor was a pricy one, too, but Kirsten paid top dollar for everything.
It was like everything was closing in on him. He was sinking further into the quicksand and if he didn't do something soon, he was going to suffocate.
"You're doing it again. Tensing up. Just relax, Ryan…" Kirsten said. She was watching him closely. He forced himself to relax. For her sake.
The doctor was outside looking over her x-rays and they were alone for the moment. He'd been grateful for the brief reprieve. She had examined him delicately but it didn't change how uncomfortable he was.
Kirsten hadn't wanted to leave when the doctor had examined him but the doctor had insisted. Finally, she'd settled for pacing on the other side of the curtain while the doctor was with him. He didn't protest. He hated doctors and her presence had reassured him. As long as he didn't have to look at her and see the pity and confusion on her face.
He wondered if her change of heart had anything to do with his scars. But he was too tired, too sore to worry about it. He'd always been more comfortable with women seeing his body than men. He'd conditioned himself to touch a woman and accept their touch in return.
He didn't know how Sandy was going to react when he saw him. He knew that he was in trouble but he wasn't sure how much. Even though Sandy wasn't a violent man, he had high standards and Ryan had just disappointed him again.
The doctor stepped back into the room with a small white bag and several pamphlets. "Well, the good news is, nothing's broken."
Kirsten stood up and put her hand on Ryan's shoulder. He had adjusted to her need to touch him and didn't flinch. He wasn't sure how long he'd be comfortable with her but in this situation, he was glad she was here.
"Ryan, you have some bruised ribs, they're going to bother you for a few weeks. You need to take it easy, I can see healed fractures on your x-rays and we don't want you to overexert yourself and risk you cracking them again, okay?"
He nodded. He knew the drill. Take it easy, blah blah.
"You have a mild concussion so even though you're tired, Kirsten or Sandy need to wake you up every few hours just to be safe," The doctor continued. Kirsten was looking over the pamphlets that she had handed her. "You have to take it easy…"
"He won't be out of bed any time soon. Can you write him a note for school?" Kirsten had taken control and Ryan was silent.
"Sure," The doctor nodded. "I've prescribed some medication for him, some painkillers and some antibiotics…"
"I'm not sick…" Ryan said quietly.
"I disagree. You're running a slight temperature and your labs are indicative of a virus. It's just a precaution," The doctor replied. Kirsten nodded at her and patted Ryan's hand.
He didn't want antibiotics, they made him nauseous. He'd never been able to stomach them. He knew he hadn't been feeling well, but he hadn't thought that he was sick.
He just wanted to get out of this room. He would say that he just wanted to go home but nowhere felt like home these days.
"You should be fine in couple of weeks. No heavy lifting, no soccer, no working. Okay?" She was looking at him.
He gave her a nod. Kirsten seemed satisfied and thanked the doctor while he stood up.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Kirsten asked once they were outside.
He shrugged despite the pain it gave him. He hated it. But if it pacified her, then it was worth it. He couldn't believe that she had found him in the poolhouse like that. He'd been out of his head for a while and she'd seen it all. He wondered what he'd said to her. He wondered why he agreed to go with her.
At least it wasn't Sandy. He probably would've taken Sandy's head off in that bathroom if he'd been there. He would've resorted to instinct. But Kirsten was there and his instincts wouldn't let him hit a woman.
"Ryan, how are you feeling?" She asked once they were on the highway.
"I'm okay. I'm sorry about…about earlier."
"You were hurt, I just wanted to help you…thank you for letting me," She said quietly. "You scared me…you were sort of…delirious…"
"Yeah…"
"I should call Seth, he was really worried…"
"Did I say anything to him?" He hoped that he hadn't.
"He said…he came and got me, Ryan. He said you wouldn't let him help you."
"I'll apologize."
"Will you tell me what happened today?" She asked quietly.
"Nothing to tell. I…I got beat up." He didn't want to tell her. But he owed it to her after today.
"Boys at school? No teacher saw you?"
"I think Summer found me. I don't really remember. Seth helped me to the car and to the poolhouse…"
"You didn't tell anyone at school?" She asked, clearly surprised.
"No…" He wouldn't call any undue attention to himself like that. That's just asking for trouble. Running to the principal to tell them that someone hit him. He wouldn't do that.
"Ryan, you…" She sighed, stopping midsentence. "I don't want to push you. You've had a long day," She said, turning into the driveway. She turned to face him. "But…you were really hurt today. And that's not acceptable. We need to talk about this, okay?"
He nodded. He knew. He knew that it was only a matter of time before the shit hit the fan. Maybe he should reconsider leaving.
He could make it on his own. He could.
But the Cohens had done so much for him. He should try and stick it out.
He'd wait and see what Sandy had to say.
"Come on, let's get you settled." She waited for him to step out before going to his side. They walked through the house onto the patio in silence.
When she opened the door to the poolhouse, he saw Seth standing near the bathroom with Rosa.
"Hey, are you okay?" Seth asked immediately. "We were just cleaning up in here…"
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks," He replied.
"I'll finish cleaning that up later," Kirsten said. She gave Ryan a sharp glance and he sat down on the bed.
"What did the doctor say?" Seth asked, going to stand beside him.
"I have to take it easy. Nothing's broken…"
Seth hesitantly put his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "And you're…and you're back with us again?"
"Yeah. Sorry about earlier…"
"It's okay, as long as you're okay," Seth said, relieved.
He was glad that Seth was so understanding and knew when to let things go. He gave Seth a grateful smile.
"Ryan, get some rest, okay?" Kirsten led Rosa out of the poolhouse.
"What happened?" Seth asked, sitting down beside Ryan on the bed.
"Nothing, your mom was really great…"
"And you're okay…"
"I'm okay. I…"
"What happened today? Like, not at school, but between us…like, did I say something to set you off?"
He shook his head. "No, Seth…"
"Every time I tried to touch you, you pushed me away, you kept telling me to stop hurting you and…" Seth started quickly.
"I'm sorry, Seth…I don't know what else I can say."
Seth was looking at him curiously. "You scared me."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't do it again, okay?" He patted Ryan's shoulder again. "I won't hurt you, man. I'm sorry you didn't recognize me…"
"I was beat up, I wasn't thinking straight…"
"You were pretty out of it. But you're back now. You look exhausted…did they give you something?"
"A shot. And your mom has some pills for me." Ryan looked over at his friend. "Is your dad home yet?"
"Ryan, you don't have to worry about Dad…" Seth started immediately.
Ryan sighed as Seth continued to list the reasons that Sandy wouldn't be mad. Ryan stretched out on the bed and closed his eyes, letting Seth talk him to sleep.
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"Kirsten? Where's Ryan? Where's Seth?" Sandy dropped his briefcase by the door and hurried into the kitchen to join his wife.
"They're in the poolhouse…"
"What happened? I got this message from you saying that something was wrong and then you don't answer your phone and no one was home…"
"You're sounding like Seth, relax," She smiled patiently at him. She pulled him into an impulsive hug. "God, Sandy…what are we going to do?"
"Kirsten, what happened?"
"Sit down with me. Let's talk about our boys for a few minutes," She sighed. She passed him a beer before taking a seat at the counter with him.
"Kirsten…"
"Everyone's safe and sound, now. But…Ryan was attacked today."
"Attacked?" Ryan was a tough kid, it had to be bad if she's saying he was attacked. "Who?"
"Some boys at school from what I can tell. Seth came in and got me, he was really upset…"
"Is he all right?"
"I took him to the doctor. He was badly beaten, Sandy…he didn't fight back because…because we told him that he's not supposed to fight. Seth managed to get him home but after he got him in the poolhouse, he…he was pretty disoriented."
"I need to see him…"
"He's sleeping, Sandy, just relax. I took care of him…" She said, clearly trying to keep him calm. She knew how much Sandy cared about Ryan.
"You and Ryan…he let you take him to the doctor?" He asked, startled.
"He wouldn't let Seth near him, he was like an injured animal, Sandy…but he finally seemed to come to his senses…I think it was because I was a woman, Sandy…I think that's the only reason he let me help him. I can't think of any other reason that he'd have pushed Seth away like that. He loves Seth…"
"Kirsten…"
"I should've known when you wouldn't let me see his files that he was abused…"
"Kirsten, stop it," He said quickly. "There is nothing in those files that you need to see." There wasn't. Ryan wasn't the type of kid to run to his teachers when someone hurt him. The files were more of a collection of the many fights and close calls with the police. If Ryan had been hurt as a child, he'd hidden it like a pro. Every time the police had tried to investigate, he'd been silent. He hadn't shown them to Kirsten because he didn't want her to know about Ryan's tendency toward violence any more than she already did.
"He does have the scars, Sandy. All the scars on his drawing, he has those. It's like a road map of abuse. You should've seen the way he was curled in the corner, begging me to leave him alone," She whispered.
He didn't want to see that. He knew that Ryan didn't want anyone to see that.
"But," She started when he didn't speak. "But he snapped out of it. I took him to the doctor and she said he needs to take it easy because his ribs are bruised and he's cracked them in the past. He shouldn't be doing anything to strain himself, he has to take it easy…"
"He will. I'm going to check on them…"
"Sandy…he's really scared that you're going to be mad at him."
"Why? Why would I be angry?"
"Because he got into a fight, I guess. He's…he's really worried about it, Sandy," She admitted.
"He's not in any trouble…"
"I know. But he doesn't." She reached over and handed him several prescription bottles. "Take him his meds."
Sandy stood up and walked to the door.
"Sandy, he asked me…he asked me when it was acceptable for him to fight back and when it was okay for him to just sit back and take it. I didn't know what to say."
He didn't know what to say either.
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