The White Dog
by Becky Tailweaver
Chapter 16: Gather at the River
Kagome let Inuyasha follow her down to the river without complaint, glad to have someone tag along to watch out for youkai. One never knew when such things were likely to pop up, and the much-too-peacful atmosphere lately was ripe for trouble, like an over-filled balloon ready to burst.
When they reached the water, Kagome set down her bag of bathing supplies and dabbled her toes in the water, keeping the towel wrapped around herself. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Inuyasha fiddling with the edge of his sleeve and shifting his weight, as though he were gathering the nerve to speak. Deciding to make it easy on him, she opened the conversation. "You don't have to come in if you don't want to. I'm...sorry about last time--if swimming's not your thing, it's fine."
"Oh. Okay." The hanyou cleared his throat and tried to speak with his usual disinterested tones. "But if you want me to...I will."
Kagome stared at him in surprise for long moments. Given his reluctance the last time, she was caught in disbelief that he'd just suddenly be so willing. It was as if he were trying to make up for their argument about it. "Did...you just say...?"
"Yeah, I did," he muttered.
"You're serious?"
"I just said I was, didn't I?" Inuyasha growled, unable to hide the faint blush high on his cheeks. "I'll swim with you."
"You mean it?"
"Yes!" He fidgeted for a second. "But...I don't have anything to swim in..."
Kagome smiled. "Oh. That's okay."
Inuyasha abruptly spluttered, his eyes going wide and his face flushing completely crimson.
Kagome couldn't help laughing. "Baka! I didn't mean you'd have to swim naked, you poor thing! I brought a pair of boys' swim trunks that I picked out for you. That's really...part of the reason why I wanted you to swim the other day--I thought you might enjoy it so I bought these for you at the same time I made Shippochan's."
"Swim...trunks?" Inuyasha cocked an eyebrow. "Like yours?"
Kagome giggled at his naive question. "No, no! Boys wear shorts."
"Shorts? Like Shippo's?"
Nodding, she reached into her backpack, rooted around, and pulled out a package wrapped in decorative green paper. "I even had them all made up like a present for you," she said, a slight pout to her voice. "Here, go take everything off and put them on."
"Everything?" The poor hanyou looked extremely nervous now.
Kagome sighed. "That's what swimwear is for--so you don't get your regular clothes wet. Just be sure to put them on right. The little white tag goes in the back, okay?"
"Uh...okay..." His cheeks still faintly pink, he snuck off behind the bushes to change.
With him gone, Kagome undid her towel, spread it on the bank, and slid into the water. It was wonderfully cool and refreshing on such a hot day, just as welcome as the little creek had been before.
For a moment, she wondered where Shippo and Miroku had gone--usually the monk made every effort to peep and see if she was bathing naked, and Shippo never missed an opportunity to play, but the pair was nowhere to be found.
There was the shuffle of footsteps on the riverbank, and Kagome turned.
It was all she could do to keep her mouth from falling open as she watched Inuyasha carry the bundle of his clothing over to her pack and set it down next to her things, carefully arranging the precious Tetsusaiga on top of the pile. He wore only the modest pair of red swim trunks that Kagome had given him, and carried the blue and white beach towel that had come with the swimwear, which he set down with the rest of his things.
With his belongings settled, he tiptoed to the water's edge and frowned at it, his arms crossed nervously over his chest as though defensive. Slowly, his eyes crept up to hers, and something in her surprised gaze made him blush even more and drop his eyes again.
Kagome gulped, feeling her own cheeks heat. She had never really seen him without his all-encompassing red kimono, which engulfed his form and kept it from observation. But now that he wore next to nothing--just a pair of shorts--it was such a sudden change she couldn't help but stare.
He was lean, but not thin; loose, but not awkward. Sinewy like a cat, almost, corded with lean muscles. Not bulky, not like a strongman or bodybuilder, but just enough to add definition to his form and offer only a small hint of the raw strength he posessed. His body seemed just disproportionate enough to look slightly odd, but it was only due to his inu-youkai blood; despite his too-long arms and slightly short legs, he carried himself with an air of balance--a sense of lanky, careless canine grace, full of easy strength and quick precision of movement. His skin was pale and smooth, which only highlighted the clean, strong lines of his physique--and he had not a single scar to show for all the horrible wounds he'd received even since she'd known him.
Even with everything that was different about him, he was still strikingly handsome in her eyes; other boys she'd had the opportunity to see couldn't even begin to compare--and none of them held her feelings in a way that made looking worthwhile. Looking at him made her breath grow short, and meeting his eyes brought about an odd fluttery feeling in her stomach and made her legs go shaky.
"Come on in," she managed to say, once she was sure her voice wouldn't go weird on her. "It's...a bit brisk at first...but you get used to it."
Inuyasha chewed his lip a moment, then stepped forward without complaint, striding into the river up to his waist and watching her where she stood chest-deep. "Not so bad," he mumbled reluctantly, relaxing his arms to dabble his fingers in the water.
"I told you it's not," Kagome laughed shyly. "Come on, get in out of the heat. Just standing there isn't going to do you any good. Get wet!"
Feeling brave, she sent a splash in his direction. It fell short, but it made his ears cock in her direction and an odd look come onto his face.
"Are you trying to start something?" he asked, something almost mischievous in his voice.
"Maybe a water fight," she replied challengingly, splashing at him again. This time, a bit of the sprinkling landed on him; his ears flicked away moisture, sending crystalline droplets scattering.
"You're asking for it," he said with a slight grin, and sent a sheen of water in her direction with a lazy wave of one hand.
"Eeep!" Kagome ducked to keep the spray from hitting her, then returned fire. She had to scuffle backwards while she splashed; Inuyasha came at her unafraid, his palms sending jets of cold water at her with unerring accuracy. He had a cocky grin on his face as he chased her in deeper; she was shrieking with laughter and trying to see well enough to splash him instead of the general surroundings.
Inuyasha was grinning toothily at her soaked visage while she tried to splash him--but he was abruptly surprised when she suddenly vanished underwater, apparently stepping too deep and losing her footing. Jumping closer to her, he had to duck himself under to reach her and drag her back to the surface.
Kagome didn't have time to breathe when she slipped, so when she went down she nearly inhaled. For a moment she floundered, finding neither ground nor surface--then she was breaking through the water and into sweet air. Gasping, she found herself clinging to two strong shoulders--shoulders attached to arms that supported her waist as she coughed up river water.
"You're not supposed to drink it," Inuyasha said, faint humor in his tone. He was standing in water up to his chin, water that was nearly over her own head, holding her up so that she floated eye to eye with him.
"Baka! That's unfair!" Kagome coughed. "You're taller!"
"What's unfair?" he asked innocently. "Chasing you in over your head or winning the water fight?"
"You--!"
Her cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkling, and his expression was set in an amused grin--but then they both realized their relative positions and flushed. Inuyasha pulled her to shallower water and released her, stepping away; Kagome gazed at him as he averted his eyes, looking suddenly embarassed.
His cloud-white hair was streaming wet and plastered to his head, flattened and hanging into his eyes, making his ears appear much larger than usual. This close to him--and also having touched him--Kagome found herself noticing more of the little things that were different about him; besides the differing dimensions in his limbs and trunk, his body also sported a thin sheen of white hair.
It spread over every part of him she could see except for his face and hands, and he had no thicker concentrations of hair besides his head. The thin, downy hairs that covered his entire body were almost like a vestigial coat of fur--obviously nonfunctional, since it was far too fine and offered no protection or warmth whatsoever. She briefly wondered if it thickened and shed with the summer and winter, despite its apparent uselessness.
Inuyasha withdrew from her curious gaze by diving under the water and swimming a distance away, coming up to backfloat out toward the middle of the river. When he heard Kagome splashing around, he tread water and watched her paddle out to him.
"Having fun yet?" she asked breathlessly as she came abreast of him.
"Sort of," he admitted. "It's more fun to soak you, though."
She glanced at him, then giggled when she spotted the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Oh, quit it, you!"
He grinned and flicked water on her; she eeped and tried to grab him. When she missed, she dove. "I know you're down there," Inuyasha muttered, fishing around with his hands. He was unprepared for her to pop up behind him, place both hands on his head, and dunk him under.
By the time he surfaced and swiped his too-long bangs out of his eyes, she was swimming madly for shore. "You're not getting away!" he snarled after her, giving chase.
Kagome almost made it to where she could touch when a hand caught her ankle and dragged her back. She was somewhat thankful they were swimming--on land, she couldn't have escaped him for even this long. She barely held her breath as he dragged her under, then fought to the surface when she was released. She came through, once again, with him lifting her up.
"Gotcha," he growled softly, with a cocky grin.
This time, they stood like that for a while, staring at each other. Kagome's cheeks flushed pink while she just floated there, clinging to his arms. The spell broke gently this time; Inuyasha cleared his throat, blushed a bit, and set her free.
"Um...I'm going to get cleaned up..." Kagome said hesitantly, backing away once she could touch. "Uh...did you want to...borrow some soap?"
Inuyasha shrugged. "If you like."
Despite his noncommittal tone, he was actually willing to try some of the stuff people did in Kagome's world. The food was good--why not other things? Obviously, people from her time valued cleanliness quite highly, for Kagome was always bathing. If she preferred clean...well, he didn't mind being clean. Just so long as he didn't end up smelling girly.
It took Kagome only a short trip up the bank to bring her bag of bathing supplies to the water's edge. She lathered her own washcloth with the bar of soap and tossed her spare cloth to Inuyasha, who simply stared at it as though puzzled. When she lobbed the soap at him, he caught it in one hand, but it popped up from his grasp like a live fish.
"Dammit--slippery thing!" He dropped the washcloth and grabbed at the soap; it slipped out of his grip several times before he finally skewered it with his claws, grinning proudly. "Got it!"
Kagome giggled and pointed downriver. "Your washcloth's floating away."
"Huh...? Shit!" He pulled one set of claws free and snagged the waterlogged cloth before it drifted out of reach in the river's lazy current. Carrying both items, he came up near Kagome, knee-deep, to mimic her process of soaping the washcloth and scrubbing down. Once he was smeared with frothy bubbles, he watched her finish scrubbing herself.
She looked up at him and giggled. "You're white all over."
"I am a White Dog, Kagome" he sniffed imperiously, teasing. "Now what?"
"Now we rinse off," she replied.
Inuyasha got an odd look on his face, followed by a grin. "Like this?"
"Like what--? Hey! No! Stop! Aaaagh! Put me down! No--not like that! Not like that! Don't--!" Kagome didn't stop screeching when Inuyasha scooped her up, carried her in, and tossed her. She landed with an awkward splash! and came up spluttering.
When she looked up, the hanyou's expression was completely unrepentant. "Inuyasha!"
"Well...you're rinsed," he said, not quite sheepishly. She had that tone in her voice, and despite her promise she might just sit him for that. He drew back a fraction as she came closer, stalking around him until his back was toward the deep side.
"I really ought to say you-know-what," she said with a half-mocking glare, enjoying his sudden nervousness. "However, I know it was all in good fun, so I'm just going to..."
"T-to what?" he stammered, leaning back as she came closer, his eyes wide. She was so close he could feel her warmth.
"Do this." She poked a finger into his chest, and the already unbalanced inu-hanyou flailed--then keeled over backwards, landing just as awkwardly as she had.
When he sat up, she gave him a smug female replica of his own cocky grin. "Gotcha."
"You little...!" he growled.
"Aw, did I scare you?" she said slyly with a giggle. "Poor baby..."
He grumbled--almost good-naturedly--but she was already heading back to the bank. He followed her, curious, as she pulled a bottle of something out of her bag. She poured a bit into her hand and began to scrub her dark hair, making a much bubblier lather than the soap had.
Inuyasha picked up the bottle, sniffed, and made a face. "What's this stuff? It smells like your hair."
"It's shampoo, silly," Kagome explained. "A special hair soap. I use it often, so the perfume is in my hair a lot. I didn't know you'd noticed how my hair smells."
"I'm half inu-youkai, Kagome. I know how all of you smells."
At Kagome's odd look, Inuyasha mentally kicked himself for the statement--it hadn't quite come out quite the way he'd wanted it to. "Uh...that is..."
"It's okay," Kagome assured him, smiling. "I know what you meant."
She walked back out to rinse, drawing his gaze for a moment to the sleek curve of her back and the smooth lines of her thighs as she bent to flush the last of the soap from her hair...
Inuyasha shook his head and determined to redirect his attention. By the time Kagome returned, he had poured out a small drop of the shampoo and was inspecting it, mooshing it between his fingers and sniffing it more thoroughly.
Perhaps, Kagome wondered, he would let her wash his hair? It was something she would love to do, just to be able to touch a part of him. She adored his long white hair--it was so beautiful, so unusual. Sometimes when they were simply traveling and she rode on his back, she would finger the silky strands without his knowlege, relishing how soft and smooth it was.
Did she dare give in to temptation now, and brave his scorn?
"Um...Inuyasha...do you want your hair washed?" she asked tremulously.
Inuyasha did not miss the fact that she asked, "Do you want your hair washed?" instead of, "Do you want to wash your hair?" So, she wanted to play with his hair, did she? He hesitated to answer; he knew she sometimes fiddled with his hair while riding him, but he figured it was just boredom on longer trips. Did she really want to be near him that much?
"Please...Inuyasha...I love you..."
It made him tremble--the emotion in those remembered words... Of course she wanted to be near him! But it was hard...so hard for him to trust anyone to be near him--to touch him. He could carry Kagome and Shippo on his back when it was needed; Shippo even hopped on and off of him in play, and Kagome could come near him. But to let someone to touch him when it wasn't "work"...to allow them more intimate contact...to let them come near at his back--it was difficult. It made him nervous, jumpy--old habits died hard, and some instincts he could not ignore.
So often in his life, when someone came that close it meant attack, claws and teeth, blood and pain...
"Well?"
Inuyasha realized she was still watching him shyly. "Uh, sure," he replied. He could do it for her--he already trusted her. She was safe to have at his back--no matter how close she came, she would not hurt him, even if she could.
"Come over here, then." Kagome led him over to a larger stone in the water, while she stood behind him with her bottle of shampoo. "Right here. I can't say the word, or..."
He got the idea. "Right."
Once he was seated nervously in front of her, Kagome poured a dollop of shampoo into her palm. Glancing at his thick, lengthy tresses, she evaluated the blob of shampoo, pursed her lips, and increased the amount. Sudsing it a bit between her hands, she gently began to apply it to his wet hair.
She vaguely recalled something from Sota's book about how it was uncomfortable for dogs to get soap and water in their sensitive ears, so she lathered the shampoo carefully, avoiding the area where his ears lay.
His hair was so soft for a boy's, so pale and fine; even when wet and soapy it still seemed like white silk. As she gently and firmly scrubbed, she became acutely aware of ever more differences in his anatomy; his skull was flatter and more square, elongated and narrower--more like a dog's, built to accomodate the muscles of his ears, the length of his jaw, and the diagonal joints of his neck.
Her ever-present curiosity made it hard for her to avoid his ears and stick to the task at hand. It had always been a sticking point for her--ears like that on an otherwise humanoid body were so unusual they practically begged to be touched. It was so tempting to play with them...
"Are you done yet?" he asked, his voice soft though the inflection was brusque.
"Oh! Just a second..." Blushing, Kagome finished scrubbing to the ends of his hair and then released him. "Uh, yeah. Go ahead and go rinse it off. Make sure all the bubbles come out."
He only glanced at her over his shoulder as he strode out to deeper water. Snorting, he flattened his ears and dunked himself, releasing a cloud of foamy bubbles as the shampoo slipped from his hair to be carried away by the gentle current. After rinsing himself thouroughly, he surfaced again, running his hands through his streaming hair and pushing it back out of his eyes.
Kagome watched him move, his pale form almost glowing as his thin white fur caught the golden sheen of the afternoon sun and wrapped it around his body like an aureole. What a beautiful creature, she thought wonderingly, letting slip a sigh.
"That better?" he asked gruffly, breaking into her little haze.
"Uh, yeah," Kagome replied with a shy shrug, blinking. "Didn't change much, I guess. Just made it more white."
"What did you think it was gonna do--turn green?" Inuyasha snorted, half-amused by her comment.
Kagome refrained from mentioning that a dip in a chlorinated pool from her time might do just that to his pale locks. Instead, she chose to comment on the whereabouts of their companions. "Have you wondered where Shippo-chan and Miroku-sama went? I thought Shippo-chan at least would come down here to swim--and you know Miroku-sama likes to peek."
The hanyou's lip curled at the thought of the perverted monk snooping about. "I don't really care. Bet they're off annoying Ginnezu or something."
"Oh. I hope she doesn't hurt them..."
Inuyasha snorted again. "That little lapdog? She wouldn't hurt a flea. I'm still amazed sometimes that she's a full youkai."
Kagome also refrained from saying that she knew more about the Silver inu-youkai's personality than he did, considering Ginnezu went into Ditz Mode whenever he was around and that was the only time she was really harmless. The rest of the time...
The grammatically correct word for a female dog would definitely apply in both senses.
"Are you done here?" Inuyasha asked, breaking into her thoughts.
"Oh, yeah--I guess so." Blinking herself to wakefulness again, Kagome packed up her bath supplies and headed for her towel, where she sat herself comfortably to sun-dry.
Inuyasha climbed out of the river after her, planted all four limbs on the ground, and shook himself vigorously. Water flew everywhere, especially from his hair.
Kagome shrieked, laughing as she was soaked again. "That's what the towel is for, baka!" she yelled as she hurled the wadded-up item at him.
The blue and white towel unfurled as it flew and draped itself over his head. With a growling chuckle at her newly re-dampened condition, he swiped it off and stood there at the water's edge, wrapping the towel around himself to dry off the rest of the way.
A crashing in the woods behind her made Kagome jump. Inuyasha's eyes widened, and he had time to yell, "What the--?" and crouch to attack before a flying streak of silver--just silver--hit him in the chest and sent them both into the river again, towel and all.
Kagome sat ramrod-straight on her towel, staring in shock and disbelief, as Inuyasha and Ginnezu surfaced. Inuyasha was snarling and choking, both from swallowing water and from the stranglehold hug Ginnezu had on him.
A very naked Ginnezu, at that.
Good heavens--how low can she go? Kagome thought, her face red with amazement and anger.
Inuyasha realized very quickly that it was only Ginnezu, not a vengeful attacker...and that the female inu-youkai wore nothing but her own silvery coat of fur--much thicker than his own, but it still didn't cover much of anything important and left the important parts pressed against his chest. He blushed up to his hairline as he sat there in the shallows with a buxom she-dog in his lap, her tail curled around one of his legs and a low growl emanating from her chest, vibrating against his sternum.
"Hello, Inuyasha-sama," she purred. "Might I join you in the bath?"
"G-G-Ginnezu...!" he stammered, frozen to the spot in both outrage and mortification. His ears fluttered and his heart pounded, and he couldn't seem to swallow past whatever it was that had lodged in his throat.
"Come play in the water with me, my Lord," Ginnezu invited, drawing back a little and giving him a full view.
He finally managed to gulp. His eyes strayed once; his blush deepened and he forced his gaze to remain on her face. He was too utterly shocked to be angry. "Uh...G-Ginnezu...?"
She snuggled up to him again. "Don't worry about the silly little ningen," she thrummed. "She'll go away when she realizes she's not wanted."
She pressed closer, running seductive hands down his ribs to his hips. With a throaty growl, she let her teeth graze his chin, teasing him with her fangs.
Inuyasha froze, all signs of embarrassment and shock vanishing in a heartbeat. His body went rigid, and a brief, doglike growl welled up from his chest as he suddenly gripped Ginnezu hard by the shoulders, pulling her closer. For a few moments he remained like that, battling instincts that flowed up like a tidal wave inside him--instincts that forcibly responded to her blatant signals.
For that moment, Kagome thought she'd lost him completely.
Then, with a harsh snarl, Inuyasha bared his fangs and bodily flung Ginnezu away as if she were something filthy. By the time the Silver inu-youkai pulled herself out of the deeper water, sputtering and coughing, Inuyasha was back on his feet and growling at her, his face a mask of pure fury.
"Don't ever touch me again!" he snarled, his voice so infused with the snarl that it was almost unintelligible. "I warned you!"
Ginnezu crouched in the shallows, suddenly all apologetic and demure. "My Lord, I--"
"If you touch me again, I'll kill you!" he shouted, his ears flattened against his head in rage. "Don't even come near me, bitch! I warned you!"
"Inuyasha-sama--"
"Get away from me!" he yelled, almost a howl. "Get away!"
Without another word, Ginnezu stood and strode out of the water, her expression unreadable and completely unfazed by her state of undress. She did not even honor Kagome with a glance.
Kagome, still gaping in shock, could only stare after her as she vanished into the woods.
Inuyasha didn't realize how hard he was shaking until he stepped up the bank and stood near Kagome on legs that felt like they would give out at any moment. His breath came in hard gasps, almost like sobs, and his fists clenched so hard he might have drawn blood.
Kagome saw his trembling and moved over quickly, gesturing for him to sit with her on her towel to calm down. What surprised her almost as much as Ginnezu's arrival was the fact that he plopped down beside her without an instant's hesitation. He sat Indian-style with his elbows braced against his knees and his forehead pillowed on his fists. His ears were set halfway back, depressed and pensive, as his harsh breaths gradually began to slow.
"What...happened?" Kagome asked softly, breathlessly, after a few minutes.
"I don't know," Inuyasha responded miserably, not looking up. "I don't know what she did, I just...I couldn't help it. I...I don't know what she did..."
Kagome swallowed hard. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I just don't know what the hell she did to me..." He took a deep breath. "The way she smelled, the way she moved, the way she did what she did...I don't understand a damn thing about it, only...for just a second...I...wanted her."
Kagome stifled her gasp and stared at him, still in a bit of shock herself. "I hope you'll be alright..."
"I'm fine," he said, almost a growl, almost his usual tone. "I just don't want her near me. I know why she's hanging around, but I don't want her to touch me ever again!" He shuddered; he never wanted to feel those forceful instincts again, especially directed toward Ginnezu. That instant of mindlessness had horrified him.
And she had scared him. He was shocked to realize that he was afraid of Ginnezu--afraid of what she could do to him, of what she might make him do with all the strange things she did.
Kagome hesitantly touched his shoulder. "Am I okay?" she whispered. "Can I...?"
"I don't mind you," he confessed. "You don't...make me feel like that."
"Thanks." She was relieved, but something deep, deep inside her cringed; she couldn't make him want her, could she?
Inuyasha didn't seem to notice her tone--or if he did, he read it wrong. "Sorry she screwed up your swimming trip," he mumbled from behind his fists.
"Don't worry about it," Kagome replied, brightening her voice. "We were pretty much done, anyway. Here--why don't you lie down on my towel and try to relax? I'll go get yours before it floats off and hang it up to dry."
That said, Kagome left him on her towel and headed for the water and the blue and white beach towel that was drifting slowly downstream. When she got back, Inuyasha was stretched out on her towel on his stomach, his chin pillowed on his arms. His ears were swiveled backwards to listen to her approach; as she came alongside him, one of them tracked her movements as she wrung out his towel and spread it over a tree branch.
There was a little space left on her oversized beach towel, so she sat down beside him to sun-dry while he rested. His eyes half-shut, he stared off into space, his mind deep in thought.
"Thanks, Kagome," he said at length, his rough voice quiet and reserved.
"Huh?" He'd just surprised her again with the gruff honesty in his tone.
"For this. For today. It was fun."
Kagome gazed at him for a time, blushing once again. "You're welcome," was all she could think to say.
For a long time, she just sat beside him, feeling the tension radiating from him in palpable waves. As she watched him breathing, her eyes caught on his wet hair lying in thick tangles all over his back, both from the water and his lack of regular combing.
"Um...do you mind if I...?" She swallowed and gathered her nerve, her eyes fixed on the ear that had turned back to listen to her. "Do you mind if I brush your hair?"
Inuyasha raised his head and looked at her, one brow raised. "What is it with you today, huh? You just want to play with my hair."
Kagome blushed, embarrassed at being found out. "Well...I think it's pretty," she confessed shyly. "Where I come from, nobody has hair like yours."
Inuyasha snorted, then rested his chin on his arms again. "You can if you like," he said with a jerk of a half-shrug.
Hiding her sudden smile, Kagome fetched her own hairbrush out of her pack, making sure it was completely clean before using it. It took some work to even begin to straighten his long tresses; the neglect was atrocious, and there were many knots underneath and water-tangles throughout. The only indication of discomfort from him was a twitch of an ear every once in a while as she fought with a particularly difficult snarl.
But she could almost feel him relaxing under her ministrations, his muscles loosening as her gentle hands worked in his hair, touching his scalp, brushing against his back. She enjoyed getting the chance to be this close to him--so near she could even catch his scent, instead of just the other way around. Now that he was clean of the taint of blood, earth and sweat, and beneath the lingering soapy smells, he had a clean-furry odor to him, like a very young puppy, as well as a slightly musky male scent that made her feel safe beside him.
Her careful efforts paid off; soon, she was able to run her brush from his ears to the ends of his hair without hitting a single snag. His bangs she combed backwards with the rest of his hair; as they dried they fell forward, soft and unruly. Even though his hair was combed through, she continued to brush, just to be able to feel the feather-silk strands flowing between her fingers. She wished she could have hair so soft.
After a while, she noticed his breathing was deep and regular, and he'd stopped responding to her brush-strokes. Slowing her rhythm, she realized with a start that he'd fallen asleep.
Like her surprise the first morning she'd awakened to find him beside her, she couldn't believe he had dozed off in her presence. Usually the only times he'd sleep would be high up in a tree after he'd made sure no danger lurked nearby.
She set the brush down and leaned closer to him, watching him sleep with interest. His ears twitched in response to her movements, but he didn't stir otherwise; it was as if he recognized her on some deep level, even when asleep, and his body's alert system did not register her as a threat, but as a friend.
She was glad that he truly trusted her deep down--like he probably trusted no one else, given how guarded he was around others.
Curiosity soon pushed its way to the surface in her brain; there were things she didn't dare even wonder when he was awake and watching her. Those wonderful ears of his were so tempting to touch even when he was alert and growling; while he was asleep they were irresistible targets. Hesitantly, she reached out with a tentative hand, ready to flee if he stirred even a millimeter.
His ear flicked automatically when her finger brushed lightly at the thin fringe of hairs that protected the opening. She decided to avoid that--she didn't want to tickle him awake, and those guard-hairs were ultra-sensitive. Cautiously, she moved her fingertips around to the back, eager to touch the smooth hair there.
Slowly, as he didn't wake, she grew braver and gently stroked the velvety-soft white fur. The ear was warm and alive, twitching slightly beneath her touch.
Growing a bit bolder, she let her fingers slip to the place where his ear joined to his head--feeling it quiver, then relax under her touch. She smiled when she felt some of the tension slide out of those feathery muscles at her shy caress, the ear drooping slightly as it loosened.
Unable to resist the temptation, she began to move her fingers in a gentle massage across the base of his ear. A soft moan of pleasure from him startled her, but she blushed and continued to rub, enjoying the low rumble that drifted up from deep in his chest--a quiet, sporadic growl that was almost like a purr.
While awake, he was loud, rude, insensitive, and sometimes downright scary--and no way would he ever let her touch his ears; asleep, he was quiet, calm, and harmless, with all the innocuous cuteness of a sleeping puppy. His face, free of his usual surly or pensive expressions, seemed so much more innocent.
Not for the first time, but perhaps the clearest, she noticed how young he looked; it matched how young she had discovered he truly was. He may have led a harsh life and faced dangers no ordinary boy could survive, but he was only a kid, really--just like her. With his chin resting on his arms he almost looked like any other sleepy teenage boy dozing on a summer afternoon.
But the ears, the nose, the white hair, the varied lines of his features--all of them kept him from appearing completely normal. All of them kept him apart--kept him separate and made him different, unacceptable to others.
But not to her. Even now, after all this time, she still marveled at him. He was such an amazing specimen, if she dared to think of him that way; deceptively slim yet incredibly powerful--wildly handsome yet unpredictably dangerous. All those things that made him unique--his impossible strength, his inhuman speed, his canine traits, the youki that surrounded him like an invisible shroud--all of them set him apart from normal beings. They made him special--especially to her.
When peaceful in sleep and not twisted into surly roughness by his usual anger or contempt, his face posessed an etherial, alien beauty in its fine, well-bred features. It served as a stark reminder of his blood relationship to Sesshomaru, the inu-youkai--a reminder that he was not completely human. And that fact drove so many people away from him, before they even tried to get to know him--it left him alone and hurt to the point that he didn't even want to reach out to others for fear of their rejection...
Trying to divert her thoughts from such sad topics, she switched to his other ear, leaving the first to droop in contentment.
He's really handsome, especially when he's asleep, she thought with a sigh, trying to be girlish. He doesn't look so angry. If only he'd smile more, or even just...not scowl all the time. He's beautiful, even more than Sesshomaru--because his beauty comes from inside him, too. I wish he could see that.
Kagome regarded the sleeping hanyou with an affectionate smile. Poor thing...he almost thinks of himself as some kind of freak. He tries to be proud of his father's heritage, but he's so self-conscious about his ears and everything that's doglike about him. He loves his mother so much...yet he hates being half human because it makes him weaker. He can't decide what he wants to be...
The realization was almost more sad than her first line of thought. He's so insecure with everything about himself, but he keeps up this fierce, brave front. I wish he could realize there's nothing wrong with him. He can't help the way he looks but he can help the way he feels--he is who he is, and I wouldn't change that for the world.
He wants to be accepted, she realized suddenly. I'll bet no one in his life except his mother ever accepted him for who and what he is...and he won't accept himself until others accept him. It's like he's trying to be a normal boy--youkai or ningen--but he's trapped in the body of an inu-hanyou and he can't find a place anywhere. Humans are afraid of him, and youkai hate him.
He's been hurt so badly...all his life people have been hurting him. Her eyes burned--not just for the loneliness and confusion her friend had to face, but for the pain and grief he'd been subjected to. It's made him afraid to trust...afraid to love. He's been hurt and chased and betrayed and beaten so much...I think it's made him deep-down scared of everyone around him. He's...he's a little like a feral animal--to him, everything is dangrous...everyone could possibly hurt him...nothing can truly be trusted. He's...wild.
An image came to her mind, then; that of a beautiful white dog, the former pet of a kind master--tossed aside when his master died, left to fend for himself in the wilds...beaten with sticks and stones, driven from home and humanity until he snarled and snapped at all who dared approach, fleeing any companionship out of fear and mistrust.
Kagome slowly ceased her gentle ministrations, noting with satisfaction that the tension had left his brows and his ears were drooped in relaxation. She smiled gently at the innocent expression on his sleeping face, blinking away traces of tears of mixed sorrow and sympathy.
I could tame him, she thought in a sudden flash of raw emotion. I could do it. He trusts me this much--I can show him that I do accept him, no matter what. I can give him a reason to believe in people again--I...I love him so much...I wish I could make him happy. I will help him be happy! I don't care if he's youkai, human, or somewhere in between--he's a person and he deserves to be treated like one, no matter what anybody says. No matter what he thinks about himself!
She gazed down at the sleeping hanyou, her slim hands fisting in her lap as she made her promise. I'll help him see how wonderful he is...how worthy of respect and love he really is. His heart is so gentle...he deserves so much more love and kindness than he's gotten in his life. I'll show him that people do care about him. I...I'll show him that I love him...
I don't really think he might...but...if there's a chance...someday...maybe I can ask him to...love me, too...