Never Again
By: Freewater
Ratings: R Male/Male relationships in this story, you have been warned
Warnings: I would have to say a lot of angst, mentions of rape.
Disclaimers: I don NOT own these characters, nor do I claim to. This story was made for the hell of it without profit.
Pairings: YAOI! Gh-Tr
Notes: These things here ooooo are for a change in time, scenery or character. And this will also be an Alternate Universe fic. Pan was never born to Videl.
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"Do you have your lunch?" Trunks asked, looking into the back seat of his car as Pan took off her seat-belt since they had now arrived at her school.
"Yes, daddy." She replied, smiling at him sweetly as she put her Hello Kitty backpack over her shoulders. "I didn't forget it today."
Trunks nodded his head. Satisfied with the answer since all hell nearly broke loose the last time she forgot her lunch bag. "Okay, give me kiss." He said, leaning in the back seat to kiss her cheek, and she did the same before opening the car door and hopping out.
"Have a good day!" He called, watching his daughter turn to wave him goodbye before meeting up with her little friends.
Satisfied that she was now safely in school, he put the car in drive before pulling out of his parking spot and heading to work. Seeing that the clouds were still rather grey from yesterday, and hoping that it wouldn't start raining again.
The perfect way to ruin the perfect start to a new day.
Ah, who was he kidding? It was probably going to rain, he just new it.
The rain sucked, that was his motto. It made the world look all gloomy and miserable, and gloomy and miserable things only reminded him of gloomy and miserable things.
He hated reminders.
A few small drops of water fell against his windshield, and then it started pouring rain.
"Ah, fuck." He cursed, turning on the windshield wipers as drove, trying not to let his mind wander too much as he did.
At least he got Pan to school without any problems, and he didn't see or sense Gohan lurking around somewhere to try and have another little chat with her again, so that was a good thing.
Now, all he had to do was focus on that one good thing, and perhaps his day wouldn't turn into shit.
"Stupid rain." He mumbled, seeing a flash of lighting off in the distance before the sound of a rumbling thunder followed.
His mother would tell him that he was being childish. Cursing and sneering over something as pitiful as a little rain. But he hated things he had no control over, and the miserable weather was one of them, and for that, he was being childish.
...Childish.
That was a really funny word actually, especially since he heard it none stop from his parents since the day Pan was born.
Not always in a bad way, mind you, but still.
He could still hear his mother's voice in his head.
"My baby's still a baby! He can't be a parent!"
"Trunks you're being childish! Now help me feed your daughter!"
She actually had to sit down with him once and explain to him that she was never mad at him, that she understood what he was going through, but the fact remained that he had to do it. No matter how much he didn't want to, he had a daughter to raise now, and his mother would be damned if she would let her son's first experience as a parent be a bad one.
So she pushed and shoved at him to spend time with Pan. No matter how much he claimed to hate the innocent little baby, she still trusted him not to do anything stupid with his own daughter when left alone.
Trunks sighed at the memory.
Bulma had tried so hard with him, but he still felt regret.
Regret that he wasn't around more for the first year of her life, and regret for making his own mother do most of the work while he avoided his own child like the plague.
How could he ever think to hate his own daughter?
Trunks remembers the day he named her, still laying on his surgical bed, on his side despite the pain still in his stomach as he crossed his arms and scowled deeply. His mother behind him, holding her grandchild.
He didn't want to look at either of them.
"Trunks, she's your daughter, you have to name her." Bulma said softly, knowing how much of a foul mood he'd been in since Gohan had to be present for the birth.
"You name her." He snapped, still not turning around to face them.
He didn't want that kid in her arms. She was only a reminder of what Gohan had done to him, and he hated her.
If it were up to him, she would have been aborted, but he could hardly walk into an abortion clinic and ask for one now could he? That and his little experience with the coat hanger didn't go so well since his father walked in on him before he could do anything.
Which he was kind of grateful for, now that he was no longer in the nearly insane state of mind of someone who just found out they were pregnant with their rapists baby.
But that was alright, fine, so he couldn't have an abortion. Big deal. He'd carry the kid, sure. He'd just give her up for adoption.
A much nicer, and far more healthier choice. The kid would get to live, go to some happy couple who actually wanted her, get a good life, and he could go on with his own life and pretend the whole thing never happened, right?
Wrong!
The stupid brat was more saiyan than human! He couldn't give her up even if he wanted to! And his parents made it perfectly clear to him that even if she was a full human, they would not allow him to put her up for adoption.
She may be his daughter but she was also their grandchild.
He was starting to regret taking her from Gohan at that point.
After waking up to find his mother gone, off somewhere to get more supplies or something, and seeing Gohan holding the baby, he was a little afraid at first, but by the look in his eyes, he knew that he'd just bonded with the little girl in his arms. And the perfect idea for revenge came to mind
Trunks demanded that he hand over his daughter, and then cursed him out of Capsule Corp just to spite him. Telling him to never come near him or his daughter ever again. Saying that she wasn't Gohan's, but his, and that he had no right to her.
It was then that he wished he hadn't done that. Because Gohan could have taken her and he would be rid of her, but now he was stuck, and he was mad at himself for being so stupid.
Bulma sighed. "Trunks, please, I want you to name her." She pleaded. "You'll regret it later if you don't."
He snorted. "I doubt that." He mumbled, low enough so that she wouldn't hear him.
He knew that she wouldn't leave him alone until he did as she asked, so at the sight of an empty bedpan on the shelf in the corner, he told her the first thing that came to mind just to get her to leave him alone. "Call her Pan for all I care." He snapped, a full sneer still in place.
He didn't need to be looking at her to see the confused look on her face. "Are you sure about that?" She asked, not really approving with his choice of names, but knowing that at that point there was not much she could do about it.
"I said it, didn't I?" Trunks growled. "Seriously, call her Pan and leave me the hell alone."
"I'm going to write it on her birth certificate, Trunks, this is your last chance to change your mind." She warned, adjusting the sleeping baby in her arms to click open the pen in her hand.
"I'm not changing my mind." He said stubbornly, wishing one last time that this would all just disappear, and that he would wake up without a giant scar running down his stomach, or a kid he didn't want.
"There, I just wrote it down." Bulma said.
He didn't get his wish.
The next several months were like a hell on earth. Every time he tried to do something, whether it be sleeping, eating, doing his homework, sparring, that kid would always cry!
His parents were away one particular Saturday afternoon, and he was left alone with Pan, because his mother had the stupid idea that if she left them alone long enough he might just bond with her.
Like something as stupid as that would ever happen!
He tried to zip through his mountain of English homework so that he wouldn't have to waste his entire weekend on it, but every time he set his pen to his paper, Pan would start crying on him.
He slammed his textbook down on the table, marching over to where she sat in her highchair, screeching for all she was worth.
Which was pretty loud considering her size.
"What do you want already!" He shouted at her, as if expecting her to answer.
She only cried harder.
It was really starting to piss him off. He did everything so far! He fed her, he burped her, he changed her, he put her in her little swing, he tried amusing her with toys, he tried putting her down for a nap. But even after all of that she just would not shut up!
Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he undid the little seat-belt to her highchair, thinking that maybe if he put her in her playpen and ignored her long enough she might go to sleep or something.
No sooner did he pick her up and put her against his chest did she stop her wailing.
Trunks blinked. "What the fuck?" He mumbled, not caring about his choice of language in front of his daughter since his mother was not around to scold him for it.
He pulled her away a bit to get a look at her, a little afraid that maybe he hurt her or something.
When the contact was broken and she was being held and examined at an arms length, Pan began her frantic screaming again, reaching out for him and kicking her small legs.
Trunks quickly put her back against his chest, though still being careful not to hurt her, and then, like a switch being turned off, she stopped crying again.
He blinked, looking down at her in slight confusion, and she looked back up at him. Sucking on her thumb while practically begging him not to put her down again with big blue eyes.
He shook his head at her. "You're one weird assed kid." Was all he said, taking her with him back to his seat as he got out his homework and got back to work.
Eventually though, he had to move and do it on the couch, just so that he could lean back a little since holding Pan with one arm and doing his homework with the other was getting rather uncomfortable.
Pan quickly fell asleep on his chest, but he didn't want to risk putting her down and having her wake up or something, so he just left her there as he lay back on the couch. Setting his homework aside and only just now looking her over, as if seeing her for the first time.
She was an annoying little brat, but she was still his. A tiny life that he had created (though unintentionally) and was now stuck being apart of.
He sighed, deciding to rest his eyes for a moment since all that homework had tired him out a bit. 'Least I got mom helping me.' He thought, drifting off with his little girl sleeping on him.
That had to be the first time he ever did anything real with her without complaining about it, and looking back on it, he knew it was when he started to bond with her.
He still thought that she was the most annoying thing to grace the face of the earth, but he was getting along with the idea of being her parent better than he was before.
The next time he spent some quality time with her, she was nearly a year old, and once again, Bulma had decided that she'd had enough of doing all the work, and so she took Vegeta with her out on the town and left Trunks home alone to bond with his baby.
He was still kind of pissed off about it, but it wasn't too much of a big deal to him anymore since Pan was out of the whole "Crying Every Five Minutes" stage.
While sitting around on the sofa, watching with little to no interest as Pan crawled around on the floor, dragging a stuffed fish with her and babbling words that made no sense as she went, Trunks couldn't help but be reminded of the beach, and how much he'd missed it.
It had been a long time since he went, and he really wanted to go.
It was then that another though struck him.
Pan had never once been to the beach. Or outside for that matter. Ever.
She was almost a year old and not once had she ever been taken outside.
He understood why, mind you. If anyone ever found out that Pan had been born through him, not only would Capsule Corp get shut down for inhumane and illegal testing that they weren't even doing, but Pan would probably get taken away as well.
Although he wasn't fully aware of it, Trunks didn't want anyone taking Pan from him, but at the same time, he really wanted to take her outside.
Besides, she may annoy the hell out of him, but no one deserved being cooped up like that, especially a small baby.
After jotting down a quick note to his parents and stuffing a baby bag full of supplies, he picked up his daughter and flew out of Capsule Corp and towards the beach.
If anyone saw him then he could always say that Pan was a distant visiting cousin, or that he was only babysitting her or something like that.
After finding the most secluded spot on the beach, he landed in some nearby trees so he wouldn't be seen before jumping to the ground and setting up his stuff. Stripping out of his clothes to reveal a blue pair of swim trunks beneath.
Pan looked around curiously, having never been in a place that didn't have a roof over her head or with sand under her little feet and hands.
Trunks grinned down at her, sticking a baseball cap over his head and putting on a pair of sunglasses in the hopes that no one would recognize him, before picking her back up and taking her closer to the water.
He figured it was about time she had her first swim. He heard somewhere that you were supposed to teach your kid how to swim when they were babies anyway.
Trunks went in until the water was as high as his knees, sitting down and folding his legs before setting Pan in the water.
She groaned a bit, obviously afraid, looking up at him fearfully with big eyes.
"Hey, it's okay," He cooed. "I'm not going to let you go." He said, gently bobbing her up and down in the water, making sure it didn't go above her neck and rather pleased with the squeals of delight she was giving off. Moving her arms around and trying to splash him.
Trunks smiled, glad that she was enjoying her first time out.
He should show her sand castles next.
What he didn't know about, but would later be told about, was that his father was watching him off in the distance, a bit of a smirk on his face as he pulled out the cell phone Bulma had given him and dialed her number.
"Vegeta?"
"Yes, it's me, he's here and they're both fine." He explained.
"I want them home, if anyone sees them then Pan could be taken away."
"Just leave them alone for the day, he's wearing a hat and sunglasses, he's being careful."
"...Are you sure?" Bulma asked nervously, not wanting her grandchild taken away.
Forgetting that she couldn't see him, Vegeta nodded his head. "Yes, I'm sure, and it looks like they're enjoying themselves as well." He explained, watching with a bit of interest as his boy, who had been previously wanting to spend extra time in his school rather then spend any time with his own daughter, laughed merrily as he played with his little girl in the water.
Bulma smiled on her end of the line. They were finally bonding, she just knew it. "Alright, but can you stick around there in case something happens?"
"Of course, I'll make sure they get home safe." He explained, hearing his wife give him her thanks before hanging up, and he went back to making sure that no one noticed his boy down in the water.
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Trunks smiled softly at the memory.
His mother had been right, if he'd given Pan up to another family then he would have regretted it, and while he could do nothing but wish that he'd acted different when it all first started, he still had the future to look forward to.
Hopefully if Pan ever found out about his behavior early on in her life, she would be old enough to understand, but he kind of doubted she would hold it against him.
She was a good girl, and he loved her all the more for it.
As he pulled the car to a stop and parked it in his reserved spot in the Capsule Corp parking lot, he couldn't help but notice how the rain had let up, and felt his spirits lift at the sight of a forming rainbow.
He smiled at the sight, opening the car door and getting out.
One look in the direction of the front doors and his heart sank just as quickly as it had lifted.
"Oh, fuck off!" He cursed disbelievingly, slamming the car door shut.
"What do you want, Gohan?" He demanded hotly of the nervous looking man before him.
To Be Continued...................................
Thank You's:
Atarah: Heh, I love Trunks torture too :-)
Pinkishy-baobao
Lady Sakura Chan: Close guess, really close
NuTHoUse
swtdreams07: That will be revealed later on
KitsuneAkai13
Ice Dragon Goddess: Thank you :-)