The White Dog
by Becky Tailweaver
Chapter 30: White Brothers
Ginnezu dashed through the halls of the High Stone's deep corridors, making a beeline for her destination--and perhaps she could have traveled much faster had she been in her true form, but the precious bundle she carried was far too valuable to risk dropping.
In the more public sections of the vast underground "castle," she had passed many Dogs--most of them Silver, Gray, and the occasional Black, all of them in their true forms, the size of the halls and doors comforably accomodating them. But here where she ran now, in the back halls of the White Clan's section of the High Stone's chambers, there was no one--so very few White Dogs remained, their population dwindling to but a few noble Houses, that the halls of their ancestral home were all but empty.
She skidded to a stop at the end of darker hall way, just before a particularly ornate door--this one was quite large indeed, requiring a good deal of her youkai strength to slide it open. When she had created a small gap, she squeezed into the dimly-lit interior, quickly composing herself and straightening her clothing.
"Great Lady, I have come!" she announced, proud but courteous, into the darkened room.
At the far side of the chamber, shrouded in darkness, something massive stirred. The sound of low, deep breaths echoed through the large room, heavy footsteps making a slow, four-beat rhythm on the floor. A monstrous shadow could be seen at the very edge of the light, pale amber eyes reflecting the illumination of the single dim lamp.
Suddenly, the shadow shifted, shrinking. The huge shape--which dwarfed even the massive Gray Dog sentinels guarding the entrance--slowly dwindled to the size of a mere man, taking the form of a human being. And when the transformation was finally complete, the shadow stepped forward into the light.
The eyes had not changed; they were still cold, ruthless, dangerous, burning pale yellow-amber and full of spite. But the figure that stood now illuminated was anything but threatening--a finely-dressed Lady, very old but still beautiful, with long, silky hair and a long, white, puffy tail curled primly about her feet. She was fair and pale, moonlike white--but for the dark, almost tigerlike stripes that showed wherever skin was exposed.
She stood still, regarding the younger inu-youkai with cool welcome. "So you've returned, Ginnezu."
Ginnezu smiled warmly, happy and excited though she held her manner respectfully. "Yes, I have, and I've so much to tell you. Look, Okaasama--look what I've brought for you!"
The ancient Lady's eyes grew bright as Ginnezu raised the unwrapped shard of the Shikon no Tama into the light.
So you finally decided to come home, eh, Inuyasha?"
"Sesshomaru..." Inuyasha drew back from his elder half-brother, a low growl welling up deep in his chest. He bared his fangs and set his feet, golden eyes flashing wary anger, every muscle tensed and ready. He flexed his claws, fully expecting to have to launch into deadly combat right then and there--it was a shame about the nice kimono...
Sesshomaru only regarded him boredly. "Do quit that nonsense, Inuyasha. I'm not here to fight you."
Inuyasha didn't budge, his lip curling into a hateful snarl. He'd trust Sesshomaru just about as far as he could throw him--in his true form.
"You can stand down, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, raising an eyebrow. He was wearing his usual ensemble, pale kimono and elaborate obi, but his swords and ornate armor were missing. "Do you really think that I would profane my father's home by spilling blood here? And yours, no less--which is, by half, his blood as well."
"I think you'd do anything if it served your purpose." Inuyasha's eyes narrowed, but he relaxed his claws carefully, still half-expecting the older youkai to jump him the moment he let down his guard. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Sesshomaru shook his head in amused exasperation. "Dolt. This is the Autumn Full Moon Howl-Gathering, and it is customary for all inu-youkai of the Clans to gather here on this night. Besides that, this is my ancestral home--I have every right to be here, just as you do."
That made Inuyasha blink--Sesshomaru, accepting him as part of the White Clan, even admitting his right to stand in their father's house? He didn't realize that the suspicion on his face had been replaced with surprise until Sesshomaru actually chuckled at him--a startling sound, and quite unfamiliar indeed.
"You needn't look so shocked, Inuyasha. You and I may have our...differences, privately--but here in this place, among the lords of our people, I am required to treat you with...more proper consideration."
Inuyasha's expression, still a bit dazed, slid to something a little more confident. "Keh! I'll bet. You can't kill me with so many important bigwigs watching, is that it?"
"Out of respect for our father, it is unseemly of us to have our disagreements publicly," Sesshomaru answered impassively, striding toward the young hanyou. "In the eyes of our people we are brothers in the White Clan, the sons of Seibunishi-sama, and we shall conduct ourselves accordingly."
His words held a tone of heavy meaning, as if warning Inuyasha not to misbehave. The hanyou held his ground as his brother approached, refusing to give in to the instinct to back away--letting Sesshomaru come almost within reach of him, where the youkai stopped and looked him up and down. "Hey, what are you...?"
"Hm. I suppose you'll do," Sesshomaru said at last, a resigned expression on his face. "Clothing proper to your station does help rid you of the 'beggar' look you always sport, wearing those ridiculous red rags of yours."
"Oi! It's armor!" Inuyasha protested.
"Indeed," Sesshomaru replied--and was that a trace of humor in his tone?
Inuyasha was growing increasingly uneasy standing this close to his older brother, so he stepped back carefully, putting some distance between them. The older youkai was acting odd--so unlike himself that Inuyasha's suspicion was increasing with every moment. Sesshomaru was not attacking him, nor outright mocking him, nor any of the things he usually did when they crossed paths--and that confused Inuyasha a great deal. He didn't know how to deal with his older brother in any other manner--didn't know whether to start a fight or just walk away.
Sesshomaru ignored the retreat; instead, he tilted his head curiously and changed the subject. "I see that Kaishika-sama has seen to your needs--those were his servants I saw in the hall. And he even had the nerve to have them dress you in one of Chichiue's old kimonos...though I can't say you don't present it well."
Inuyasha's eyes widened, his hand coming up reflexively to brush the fine silk cloth. "This...was my father's...?"
"It's been taken in a bit to make it fit--but yes, I recognize it." Sesshomaru smiled a just little more, looking almost truly amused--and making Inuyasha stare even more. "I daresay you'll turn a few heads by the time this Council is over. You do look quite like Chichiue when you wash up and dress respectably. I'll bet that was Ojisama's idea, as well."
"'Ojisama?'" Inuyasha's eyebrows went up in a start.
"Byakugata," Sesshomaru explained, as if it were obvious. "He is Chichiue's uncle, and therefore our great-uncle. No doubt he and Kaishika-sama went in on this together. They were always very close to Chichiue."
"O-Oji...sama..." Inuyasha gulped, his eyes still wide.
"You and I are not the only living White Dogs, Inuyasha. I should think it quite obvious even to you that we would have some relations among the White Clan." Finished explaining yet another obvious fact to the dense hanyou, Sesshomaru paused, glancing briefly at the chamber they stood in. "Well, how do you like your mother's quarters?"
Inuyasha froze yet again--the right-angle turns were simply coming far too fast for the young hanyou. First Sesshomaru wasn't attacking him for Tetsusaiga, but was actually speaking to him. Next there was his father's kimono--and then the identity of his great-uncle. And now...
"Ofukuro's...room...?" He immediately glanced around, the details of the small, cozy chamber coming into sharp focus as their importance suddenly leaped upward in his mind. "This was...her room?"
Sesshomaru nodded, though he couldn't keep the dark look off his face. "Didn't you see the carving on the door outside? Chichiue had it built exclusively for Ayako-san. He even did much of the work himself." He gestured to the fine, well-crafted bed. "You were born here--in this very room, right on that very spot--on a Full Moon's eve not very unlike tonight. As I recall, you arrived rather suddenly then as well, quite unannounced, and required a change in agenda for the Daimyo's Council."
Inuyasha stared at the bed--the fine, hand-crafted design, the brilliantly patterned covers--swallowing hard as the implications of that statement struck home. This room--the place of his birth, his mother's home--where, given the chance, they might have been a family...
"I remember that night," Sesshomaru said, his voice oddly soft--and Inuyasha jumped when he realized that his older brother was suddenly standing right beside him. "When you were born...I was there, waiting in the hall, along with all the other Daimyos. It was a strange, uneasy time; everyone wanted to honor their master and his new heir, but they were afraid of what a half-human child might mean."
"I didn't want to upset anyone or cause a big mess--I just wish..." Inuyasha found himself blurting--discovering that, oddly, his brother's close presence did not frighten him as it should have. "I wish I could have known him. I don't remember anything about my father..."
Sesshomaru snorted derisively, suddenly turning to stride toward the door. "Well then," he said, his voice uncharacteristically uneven, "you're not much worse off than I."
The strange undertone in his brother's voice--something Inuyasha had never heard before--made him whirl and follow him into the hall, not really knowing why he was pressing his luck, pushing the issue. "Sesshomaru!" he called after his brother. "What do you mean?"
The older inu-youkai paused in the paneled hall--stopped, but he didn't turn.
Inuyasha dared to step closer--daring, almost yearning, because this was the first time his brother had deigned to really talk with him, ever...
"What did you mean, 'worse off?'" he demanded "What do you have to be so bitter about? You knew him--he was your father, not just some legendary youkai you've only heard about in stories!"
"I knew him." Sesshomaru's tone was low, flat, almost angry. "And he knew me. He was my father, but I was never really his son. Why do you think he left Tetsusaiga to you? You were his favorite!"
Inuyasha pulled back from the near-bark, surprised. "But I...I didn't..."
"No, you didn't." Sesshomaru turned to the last door in the small, square hallway--the one door which had not yet been opened. Gripping its fine wooden frame, he slid it open almost forcefully, stepping aside so that Inuyasha could look within. "You didn't have to do anything. He loved you anyway, from the very moment you were born. Look, Inuyasha--look well at the life he wanted for you."
Stepping carefully around his brother's rigid form, Inuyasha peered curiously into the chamber beyond, momentarily confused. It was smaller than his mother's room, and the wall screens were painted more vibrantly with active, playful scenes. Another ornate bed stood against one wall, while a polished wooden cabinet stood against the other. A small, fine silk kimono was hung on a rack in one corner, a pair of slippers sitting beneath it. Various toys were set at the foot of the bed--stuffed animals of silk and linen, little clay statuettes and wooden figures, even several brightly-colored tops and a little wheeled wagon.
It took him several perplexed moments realize that this was a child's room.
He required another full beat to realize that it was his.
"This was...mine...?" he croaked, stunned at the care he saw within it.
"It was yours." Sesshomaru was gazing within as well, his eyes slightly distant. "I remember the first time Chichiue tucked you in here, the very first night you slept all by yourself. I was..." He blinked, looking almost surprised at himself. "I was standing right here."
Inuyasha licked his lips, looking from the bed to his brother and back again, feeling acutely the weight of history between these walls. So much of what was important in his life had taken place in these very chambers--and he could not recall any of it. Just bits of village life with his mother, and then that tragic night that turned the rest of his memories bloody and broken.
"I just don't remember..."
"Nearly everyone else does," Sesshomaru replied. "You were the darling child of the Clan, doted on by all the Ladies--but a noisy little ball of fluff and always underfoot." The corner of his mouth twitched. "You chewed on everything, too."
Inuyasha almost choked, a touch of red on his cheeks. "What? I did not!"
"You never could keep anything out of your mouth," Sesshomaru continued, with a touch of cruel amusement--he found himself enjoying his younger brother's embarrassment. "And as soon as you learned to walk, you were not only underfoot but in the way, and always getting into things. You drove your caretakers to their wits' end, constantly escaping them--and causing me no little amount of trouble trying to keep you out of it."
Inuyasha goggled at him. "You were...?"
"Who else do you think had to play babysitter when your nannies lost track of you?" Sesshomaru gave him a look that was vaguely disgusted. "And you never failed to come find me whenever you got loose."
"Hell if I know why," Inuyasha snorted, disbelieving.
"Neither can I, but you always did," Sesshomaru told him, with the same slightly disgruntled tone. "You'd come toddling up with a silly smile on your face, latching on to my knees and following me about like the little lost puppy that you were, demanding that I carry you..." He shook his head. "The Ladies always seemed to find you adorable for that. I can't imagine why."
Inuyasha bristled at this, but couldn't seem to find the means to leap to his own defense. The very idea that he had been at one point in his life "little," "adorable," and "fluffy" did not appeal to his currently tough, masculine self-image. However, his elder brother had been a first-hand eyewitness, and Sesshomaru was not likely to lie about something as embarrassing as this--so he settled for a scowl and a grumble, coming quite close to a disgruntled pout.
Sesshomaru gestured again to Inuyasha's former bedroom. "Chichiue had all of this set up for you back then; each piece here was either made by him or hand-picked especially for you." He frowned, that dark look coming to his face again. "He never did such a thing for me."
Inuyasha glanced at his brother, waiting for the elder inu-youkai to go on. Sesshomaru had never opened up to him like this before--hell, they'd never even spoken more than a few sentences to each other in a single meeting, and every time their paths had crossed in the past, there had been bloodshed. He knew that he would normally be turning his back on the youkai and stomping away, but something...just something...was holding him here.
Something inside him wanted to listen...and perhaps to understand.
"No matter how I yearned for it, my father never gave me even half of what he lavished on you," Sesshomaru continued, his voice growing bitter. "I lived my entire young life trying to be the best son I could--but in the end, it wasn't enough. He tossed aside my two centuries of striving in favor of you, the moment he saw you--and you never had to do one damn thing to earn it."
Inuyasha stared at him, startled by his brief resentful tone--while something fell into place in his mind. Shirokiba's words came back to him--words that spoke of Sesshomaru's loneliness and pain, caused by Seibunishi's absence from his life.
"I wish...I'd known him."
Shirokiba heard the broken catch to the young hanyou's voice. "I wish you had, too--he did that so many times for me, and it always meant so much. He was such a good father that I couldn't believe Sesshomaru turned out the way he did...but Yukishima raised him herself; she didn't let Seibunishi-sama get too close."
Inuyasha managed a disgusted snort. "To hear him talk, he's the precious golden child and I'm the blot on the family record."
"I think part of Sesshomaru's hatred of you is a deep, abiding jealousy of what you had," Shirokiba explained patiently, almost sadly. "Seibunishi-sama held you in his arms and rocked you, he sang to you and carried you with him when he went about--he loved you so much it was joyful to see the two of you together. Sesshomaru never had that, even if he wanted it--and ever since his mother cast him off, he's had no one. I can understand a bit of where he's coming from."
At that memory, Inuyasha found himself feeling something for his brother that he had never felt before--pity. And with that realization, his mouth opened, and he found himself saying to Sesshomaru something he'd always thought he would never stoop low enough to say.
"I...I'm sorry."
Apparently, it surprised Sesshomaru too--the older White Dog actually went blank-faced for a moment, golden eyes wide. It was so comical compared to Sesshomaru's normally cool, impassive expression that--had the situation not been so grave--Inuyasha might have burst out laughing. But things were far too serious for that.
"I never wanted to cause this much trouble, for you or anyone else," Inuyasha stated quietly, taking advantage of his brother's surprised silence. "I never even knew. I just want to live--I don't give a damn about the stupid succession. I'm no Daimyo--I don't have the first clue how to run the Clans or the Western Lands. It didn't even matter a damn thing to me until Ginnezu slapped me with it out of the blue."
Gulping back the lump that was trying to pop up in his throat, Inuyasha continued awkwardly, his voice gradually rising. "All I ever wanted was to live a normal life and be happy--that's all! I didn't want to take anybody's place or be the heir of anything! I never asked for it! I just wanted to live--but my mother was killed, Oyaji died, and you..." He broke off, his voice cracking harshly at the memory of one bloody night, long ago. "I've been living on the edge of Hell for most of my life--everything always went wrong, no matter what I tried to do! You had Oyaji--you had a good life! And Shirokiba told me Oyaji did care about you but your own mother made damn sure you couldn't see it--!"
"Shut up!" Sesshomaru snapped, so suddenly that Inuyasha's fangs closed in astonishment with an audible click.
There was silence between them for long, heavy moments, as two sets of golden eyes stared into each other, both burning hot and bitter. Inuyasha was shocked at having seen this side of Sesshomaru--a side filled with pain, anger, even regret. They were things he'd thought his cold-faced brother was incapable of feeling.
"I know about my mother," Sesshomaru informed him softly. "I've known for a very long time. Why do you think I don't live here in these halls any longer? She disowned me over sixty years ago, after I refused to kill you."
Inuyasha found himself gaping in surprise once again. Sesshomaru...refused to kill me?
"Yukishima has been plotting to gain control of the Western Lands for centuries, long before my birth," Sesshomaru went on. "I was born as a tool for her plans; long ago, when I was nothing but a pup, I was part of them--until I chose my loyalty to my father and began to defy her. Yet she still strives toward her goal, even to this day. Beware the Black and Silver Clans, for they serve her will alone. Most of all, beware of her--she is more dangerous than you can imagine."
He's warning me? Inuyasha realized, blinking in surprise, suspicious with disbelief. "Why are you telling me this? I thought you wanted me dead. You hate me, you've almost killed me so many times, and you want Oyaji's sword--"
"What is between us remains between us," Sesshomaru replied, a brief fire flashing through his narrowed golden eyes. "I may wish to kill you for my own reasons--but I will not allow another Clan or House to desecrate my father's bloodline for their own petty plots. If anyone destroys you, it's going to be me."
"Oh...okay..." Inuyasha gave him a very reluctant half-smile, feeling an oh-so-strange sense of...relief--as if here, in this place, on this night, he could trust his brother more than he could trust anyone else. "I guess you'll still be coming after the Tetsusaiga, huh?"
Surprised at his acceptance, Sesshomaru unconsciously returned the smile. "Every chance I get. One day I will have it, hanyou."
"You can sure as hell try." Inuyasha found his smile slowly becoming a grin--rewarded by the strangest feeling of amusement and reassurance in his brother's presence. An insane idea came to him then--the oddest request he'd ever thought of, and one that would likely get him sneered at. "But...let's just fight over the Tetsusaiga, alright?"
Sesshomaru regarded him silently, one brow raised curiously.
Inuyasha dropped his eyes, embarrassed, but continued. "I don't want it to be about hate and revenge. If you want the sword, come fight me for it, but don't...don't do it because you hate me."
Sesshomaru paused, taking a deep breath. For a while, he simply stared at his younger brother--whatever responses he was processing hidden behind the blank golden veil of his eyes. When he finally spoke, it was reluctant, as if what he said was something he was loathe to admit. "I do not hate you, Inuyasha."
That statement brought Inuyasha's head up. "What?"
"I cannot say I like you, but I do not hate you," Sesshomaru continued, still reluctantly. "You're just a child; none of this is your fault. Most of it began long before you were born, and most of it ended before you were old enough to remember. As much as I've wished I could hate you over the years, I've never found that I do."
Although he resented being called a child, Inuyasha didn't argue his brother's point. It shocked him to the point of near-speechlessness to hear words like these from the older youkai's mouth--as it was becoming more and more apparent that he could trust his brother, at least in this.
When he finally managed to find his tongue again, he spoke haltingly but earnestly. "Well...since we're being...all honest and everything..." He scratched an ear, searching for the right words--part of him wondering why in seven hells he was still standing here talking to Sesshomaru. But with his brother's honest statement, he was almost reluctant to admit this. "To tell you the truth...I did hate you."
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow again, his eyes becoming flat and masklike. "I see."
Inuyasha scowled when he saw it. "Listen--when I was little, I heard nothing but good about you, you know that? Ofukuro never told me anything bad about my big brother--and I believed her. I liked you, and I trusted you, and I loved to hear stories about you and Oyaji. But ever since...that night..." He swallowed hard, his jaw tense. "You betrayed that trust. And I hated you. I hated you so much I wanted to tear you apart myself, and I almost did in Oyaji's grave. But...I pulled my last strike--I just couldn't..."
"Indeed." Sesshomaru's face was suddenly maddeningly neutral; Inuyasha could read nothing from him.
"I still hated you, you know," Inuyasha informed him, disgruntled by the other's sudden coolness. "You kept coming back for Tetsusaiga, and I thought you hated me, and you hurt Kagome--" He broke off, not wanting to bring up the subject of the human girl.
"You keep saying 'hated,'" Sesshomaru observed shrewdly. "Why are you speaking in past tense?"
"Because I don't any more!" Inuyasha growled, embarrassed at having to admit it.
"I see." Sesshomaru's voice was almost wry. "And what, pray tell, brought about this amazing change of heart?"
"I just...stopped, somehow," Inuyasha admitted with an uncomfortable shrug, looking away. "When I was able to use Kaze no Kizu...when I could fight and win my own battles...when I had my friends to look out for and I learned to use Tetsusaiga well...hating you just stopped mattering so much. And Shirokiba told me what you went through because of me, so I figured that I wasn't the only one who had it rough." His jaw tightened again, and his fists clenched, but he pressed on through the discomfort. "I don't think I've forgiven you for...that night...and if I ever do it's gonna take a long time...but I don't hate you anymore. I have friends, and Kagome...and I stopped trying to...trying to measure up to you."
Sesshomaru still remained silent and unreadable.
"And just now," Inuyasha went on, awkward. "For the first time in my life--that I can remember--you actually talked to me like I'm a person, not a piece of shit." And he would not admit how good that felt, not even under pain of death. Instead, he tilted an ear curiously. "Why are you being so...so...different all of a sudden?"
"I could ask the same of you, Inuyasha," Sesshomaru said, in a very slight tone of jest. "You're usually such a surly ruffian, and you can't speak two words to me without an insult."
"I'm being serious, asshole," Inuyasha snapped, glaring at him.
"Case in point," Sesshomaru sighed, then answered quietly. "Perhaps it is this place. The High Stone is my home, even if I am no longer able to dwell here--and it is your home as well, even though you may never choose to live here. This is neutral ground for us; I feel that...Chichiue's soul still haunts these halls from time to time, looking in on his people."
"Right," Inuyasha responded softly, startomg to smile again. "Wouldn't do for Oyaji to see us quarrelling--would it, Niisan?"
The older inu-youkai paused for a beat, glancing at him--for one moment truly surprised, his eyes suddenly liquid gold rather than diamond ice. But then it was gone, lost behind his impervious mask once more.
"Not tonight," Sesshomaru agreed at last, a slow smile once more beginning to touch his lips. "Tonight, I get to defy my mother openly once more. I know I have Chichiue's blessing on that--and this time, Otouto, you get to help."
Inuyasha grinned in reply. "You should know how much I love pissing people off."
"Indeed." Sesshomaru gave him a wry look--again earning a blink and a stare from Inuyasha. "And your mere presence should be just the thing to anger my mother. She's wanted me to kill you for years; I do look forward to the expression on her face when she sees you and I come before the Council together."
"Now that you mention it, didn't Byakugata say he was going to come get me for that?" Inuyasha asked, abruptly remembering his appointment.
"Don't worry about it," Sesshomaru replied easily. "I told Ojisama that I'd bring you when it was time, so he'll be waiting for us in the Grand Hall. Speaking of which, we probably should move in that direction--the Council ought to convene soon."
Mumbling acquiesence, Inuyasha ducked his head and followed his older brother's smooth strides back through the hall to the sitting room. They stepped out of Lady Ayako's quarters, closing behind them the heavy doors that protected her chambers from the rest of the castle's giant halls.
As they walked through the massive passageways, Inuyasha quickly found himself quite lost despite the scent trails--unable to tell in which direction they were traveling, or how to reach their destination. He might have been able to find his way back to his mother's rooms, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to figure out how to get out of this place.
"How the hell do you find your way around in this maze?" he asked his brother at last.
"A few centuries' worth of experience helps," Sesshomaru replied, somewhat haughtily. "And with a good sense of smell you can retrace your steps if you do get turned around."
"Ah-hah!" Inuyasha teased with grin. "So you've gotten lost before too, eh?"
His brother glanced disdainfully back at him. "I was a young pup then."
"And were you underfoot when you were little, too?" Inuyasha was almost beginning to enjoy this jesting little conversation.
"Certainly not," the older youkai responded, sniffing. "My mother instilled some sense of propriety and decorum in me, even at a young age. I was not allowed to run rampant about the High Stone, disturbing the peace--like a certain young rascal I could name."
Inuyasha blinked in surprise yet again; he'd never expected Sesshomaru to call him something like that.
"Don't lie to our young Great Daimyo-to-be, Sesshomaru," spoke a dry, elderly feminine voice ahead of them. "You were every bit the rascal he was--and don't you dare deny it."
Inuyasha looked up in curiosity, wondering who the old lady was--somewhat astonished to note that she, too, was a White Dog. Her expression was pleasant enough, though her eyes were chilly.
However, Sesshomaru stiffened beside him, his face freezing in a strange combination of surprise and anger. The older inu-youkai drew himself up straight, cold golden eyes narrowing as he stared at the ancient White Lady that stood before them in the hall. His voice was low and rough--half in anger, half in respect.
"Hahaue..."