A Reckless Snow Storm
by MKT
(Small disclaimer: This piece contains some mild language, some suggestive dialog and way too many exclamation points!)
Scene: December 23, 2004. Ric and Alexis are in Ric's SUV, driving down a dark, windy country road in the middle of a blinding snowstorm.
Ric: Damn! Looks like another dead end. What in the world was I thinking when I let you talk me into going out in the middle of a blizzard to look for a Christmas tree?
Alexis: You're doing it for Kristina.
Ric (sarcastically): Yeah, well, she's all nice and warm at Sonny's house right now, isn't she?
Ric tries to back up in his SUV, but backs right into a four-foot high snowdrift. The wheels spin fruitlessly.
Alexis: Try shifting.
Ric (annoyed): It's an automatic! There is no shifting!
Alexis: Well, then try the 4-wheel thing.
Ric (highly annoyed): It's been in 4-wheel drive for the last hour…ever since we left the paved road!
Alexis: I thought these big gas-guzzling things were supposed to plow through anything: mud, snow, small barns. We should have taken my car.
Ric: Oh, yeah, like that little electric scooter you drive would get us through this stuff!
Alexis: It's not a scooter. It's a hybrid car. And I'm sorry I care about the environment, unlike you in your testosterone-fueled polluter.
Ric: Okay! That's enough! Stop talking! (Clenches teeth.) Let's figure out what to do.
Alexis: Well, there's a mailbox. We must be at the end of someone's driveway. (Looks around out the car windows.) You know, this looks a little familiar.
Ric: Familiar? Since when have you ever been out in the country on a gravel road? Were you out communing with nature in your little electric car?
Alexis: No, but Kristina and I have been here, I think. What's the name on the mailbox?
Ric: I can't read that from here, there's a blizzard going on, you know!
Alexis: Fine. I'll go take a look.
Alexis jumps out of the truck, runs to the mailbox, spies the name, and comes back.
Alexis (opens the door a little): Come on, follow me.
Ric: We're not abandoning my brand new truck!
Alexis is already several yards up the driveway when Ric jumps out of the truck to follow her.
They run up on the porch.
Ric (hugging himself and rubbing his arms to keep warm): God, I am so cold and soaking wet now. (Looks in the window.) I wonder if anyone's home.
Alexis: No. No one's here.
Alexis goes to the corner of the covered porch, wipes some snow away from a planter, lifts it and pulls out a key from under the pot. She opens the door and they rush in.
Ric flips a light switch, but nothing happens.
Ric: Great, the power's out. We're going to freeze to death. (Pause) Wait a minute! How'd you know the key was under the flower pot?
Alexis: I told you, I've been here before.
Ric: Alexis, whose cabin is this?
Alexis: Mine.
(Commercial break)
Scene continues in the cabin.
Alexis goes to a sideboard and pulls out an oil lamp and matches. She starts to light it, but Ric takes it away from her.
Ric: Here, let me do that! (He grabs it away from her. He can't get it lit.) Damn it, my fingers are frozen. If they fall off, I'm going to sue you!
Alexis: Let me try it. (She gets the oil lamp lit on the first strike of the match.) There. We've got some light.
Ric (mockingly): Yeah, but there's no heat. When did you buy a cabin? And more importantly, why did you buy a cabin? You don't strike me as the rustic type.
Alexis: I didn't buy it. I…inherited it.
Ric: Who the hell died and left you a cabin?
Alexis: Cameron Lewis.
Ric feels a little like crap, right now. Alexis continues.
Alexis: After he died in the hotel fire, I was in charge of liquidating his estate, and I placed the proceeds in a trust for his grandson.
Ric has a slightly confused look on his face, but then it dawns on him who Cameron's grandson is.
Alexis: I was able to convert all his assets, except this place. No one wanted to buy it. So, I did.
Ric (in a softer tone): Well, I'm sure Elizabeth appreciates your generosity.
Ric walks over to the fireplace.
Ric (back to a take-charge tone of voice): Okay, we're going to need some heat. Do you have any wood?
Alexis: I don't know. Where would the wood be?
Alexis chuckles at her little play on words. Ric is not amused. Without a word, he goes to the front door, opens it, a whoosh of wind and snow comes in, blanketing his face with a fresh coat of powder. He slams the door closed.
Again, without words, he looks around the room, finds a few old newspapers and magazines and throws them in the fireplace. He lights them with a match. The paper goes up in flames for a second. Then it dies out. He adds more paper and magazines, lights it, flames go up, flames go out.
Ric: Damn it!
Alexis: Here. Why don't you try these?
Ric turns around and sees that Alexis is holding three large Dura-flame® logs.
Alexis: It says here, 'Easy to light. Lasts up to three hours.'
Ric snatches the logs out of her arms, and lights the fire.
Soaking wet from the heavy snow now melted on his clothes, Ric takes off his jacket, sweater and T-shirt, revealing his bare chest. Alexis looks stunned.
Ric (sarcastically): Alexis, it's okay, we're married. You're allowed to see me without my shirt on. In fact, it's generally considered one of the perks of the job!
Alexis (averting her eyes, embarrassed because she was all too obviously staring): Well, I don't know that it's necessary for you to get undressed in front of me.
Ric: God, you are such a prude!
Alexis: I am not! I would just appreciate a warning before you do another strip tease.
Ric: Look, I know it's been nearly three years since you've…well…been with a man.
Alexis: 'Been with?' What kind of archaic, puritanical phrase is that? 'Been with.' I've been with plenty of men in the past three years. I've been with Sonny, you, Judge Farmer, any number of clients, jurors, members of the PCPD…
Ric: Fine, fine! I meant, 'slept with.'
Alexis: Great, another euphemism!
Ric: Okay, okay! You want me to say it, don't you? Had sex with, had relations with, had intercourse with! It's been three years since you've been f---
Alexis (interrupts): No it hasn't! (Pause, now in a softer voice) It's only been about... (pauses to mentally count) ...eleven months.
Ric: Oh, great! I thought you only spent that one night with Sonny!
Alexis: I did.
Ric: Oh well, then, Ned. Yes, of course, should have figured he'd come back for one last dalliance!
Alexis: No, it wasn't Ned.
Ric: Who, then? Judge Farmer? I've seen the way he looks at you…
Alexis (her turn to be annoyed): He looks at everyone that way. (Pause) Even you.
Ric: What?! What the hell are you talking about, Alexis?
Alexis: Cameron.
Ric: Excuse me?
Alexis: He…we…we did it once…
Ric: Where?
Alexis: Here.
(Commercial break)
Scene continues in the cabin.
Ric: You know what, Alexis, I really don't need the details of your sex life. I'm sorry I brought it up!
Alexis: Well, fine! (Pause) What about you?
Ric: Excuse me?
Alexis: When was the last time you…you know…were with that (makes air quotes) 'friend' of yours?
Ric (confused): Okay, once again, this time with feeling: what the hell are you talking about?
Alexis: You know. That (air quotes again) 'friend'…
Ric (highly annoyed): Will you stop with the air quotes?!
Alexis: …who answered your cell phone that night after you accidentally on purpose left your keys at my apartment?
Ric: That's funny, you told me you didn't find my keys and that you didn't call my cell.
Alexis: Well, I did. I was just trying to be nice. And then I call your cell and not an hour after kissing me at my door – which, by the way, meant nothing to me – you're in bed with some…some…some woman!
Ric (laughing mockingly): Oh, yeah, her. Well, yeah, she was great, she was fantastic, she knew just how to make me---
Alexis (turns away from him, putting her hands over her ears): I don't want to hear it!
Ric (sarcastically teasing): Aww…jealous, much?
Alexis (turns back to him abruptly): No, just disgusted! I don't want to hear about your tryst with your…
Ric (highly irritated and shaking his finger at her): Don't you dare make those air quotes!!
Alexis:…'friend!' (Makes really big air quotes.)
Ric: She was just the bartender at the Cellar…
Alexis: I don't care what she does for a living…
Ric (exasperated): No! I went to the Cellar after dropping you off and, yes, I did leave my keys accidentally on purpose. I knew you would call…
Alexis: No, you didn't!
Ric: Yes, I did!
Alexis: No, you didn't!
Ric: Yes, I did! Ugh! I was waiting for your call, and I just had her answer my cell to…to…
Alexis: To what?
Ric: Make you jealous.
Alexis: Ha! As if!
Ric: And you were!
Alexis: No, I wasn't!
Ric: Yes, you were!
Alexis: No, I wasn't!
Ric: Yes…okay! Okay! Stop! I have had enough of this! Can we just be civil to each other for a moment?!
Alexis: Hey, I was being civil! Now you -- on the other hand -- you were just being an ass!
Ric: Fine! Fine! Just great! You know what? I think, maybe we should just call this whole farce of a marriage off! How 'bout you?
Alexis: Fine! Maybe we should! You helped me keep custody of Kristina. And for that I will be eternally grateful…not to mention obligated. But, you're right, I'm not sure what's left for us!
Long pause as each looks off in the other direction.
Ric (in a softer voice): I'll tell you.
Alexis: Tell me what?
They turn back around to face each other.
Ric: What's left for us. (He raises his voice, again.) I love that little girl as if she were my own! And I love you, too, damn it! And I'm not giving the two of you up!
Alexis: Well, I love you, too!
Ric: Well...then, fine!
Alexis: Fine! (Pause) Now what?
Ric (throws up his hands): Hell if I know!
Ric goes to sit on the couch. Alexis goes near the fire and removes her wet red quilted jacket and the green hoodie and hangs them on the back of a chair.
Suddenly, Ric jumps up and grabs the green hoodie.
Ric (with hoodie balled up in his hand): And this! I am so sick of seeing you wear this thing! I oughta throw it right in the fire!
Alexis: No don't! It's from JCrew. Lambswool hoodie, item number 47651, pine heather, small, forty-eight dollars plus shipping and tax. The JCrew order consultant, Marie, said it was their most popular item!
Alexis rushes him to save the hoodie. She grabs his strong muscular arms. They lock eyes. That was it. Rick drops the hoodie and they start kissing more and more passionately. She unzips his jeans and starts to force them down below his hips when Ric breaks their lip-lock and yelps…
Ric: My boots! My boots! I'm still wearing…
Ric loses his balance and falls on the floor, bringing Alexis down on top of him. They're momentarily stunned from the harsh landing, but their eyes lock again. And while kissing wildly, Ric tries to untie his boots. As each one is extricated from his foot, it is sent sailing across the room.
One.
Two.
Followed by a pair of jeans.
Or two.
(Commercial Break!)
Scene in the cabin continues. Ric and Alexis lie on the floor in front of the fire, curled up in a patchwork quilt.
Ric: I'm sorry I got so freaked out by the snow.
Alexis: That's okay.
Ric: No, it's not. You see, when I was a small child – God, I've never told this to anyone before – when I was little, I had a stuffed rabbit. (Chuckles.) Yeah, it was velveteen. I loved that thing. Took it everywhere I went. It was the only thing I ever had that my mother had given me. Then, when I was about five or six, I was playing with it outside, when the nanny called me in for lunch, and I left the rabbit out somewhere near the sandbox, thinking I was coming right back. But it started snowing, hard, fast – kinda like now. The nanny wouldn't let me go back outside to rescue my toy. She was new – they never did last long – and she didn't know how important it was to me. It snowed for what seemed like forever. When it finally stopped, there was like two feet of snow. I tried digging around, but I couldn't find it. It wasn't until weeks later, when the snow had finally melted enough, that I found my rabbit. But, by that time, it was soaked, all muddy and ruined. And the nanny threw it out. (Pause, choking back some emotion.) And that's why I hate snow. Or, at least, I did…until now.
With tears welled up in her eyes, Alexis kisses him gently on the forehead, almost as if she were comforting a small child. They lay in each other's arms for a while, when they start to kiss again, a little more passionately, but not nearly as reckless as before.
Just then, the front door suddenly bursts open revealing Sonny and Jax who get quite an eyeful of the passionate couple under the quilt.
Jax: Hmmm. Doesn't look like they need rescuing to me!
One month later…
Late January 2005. Scene: Ric's office. Ric is at his desk shuffling through papers and files when the door suddenly bursts open and Alexis breezes in like a hurricane.
Ric: Hey, sweetie.
Alexis: I told you not to 'sweetie' me at the office. It's unprofessional.
Ric (looks left and right): There's no one here but you and me...sweetie.
Exasperated, Alexis sits down in the chair in front of Ric's desk and takes some files out of her briefcase.
Alexis: Okay, I've filed the motion to suppress in the O'Brien case.
Ric (looking confused and rifling through the papers on his desk): O'Brien? I thought he pleaded guilty last week?
Alexis: O'Brien? No, I meant McDonald.
Ric (still looking confused and rifling through the papers on his desk): McDonald? Wasn't that reckless driving? There's nothing to suppress…
Alexis (flipping through her papers): No, it was breaking and entering.
Ric: Oh, you mean McDougal?
Alexis: McDonald, McDougal, what's the difference?
Ric: Well, about ten to twenty. You know, it would help if you could keep your clients' names straight.
Alexis (very curt and looking at him through the top of her glasses): Well, fine, whatever!
Ric jumps up from behind the desk and comes around to kneel in front of Alexis.
Ric: Okay, something's wrong. This is not like you. Is Sonny demanding that Kristina come live in his great big new house again?
Alexis: No. It's not that. (Pause) It's just that...I'm…I'm…um...late.
Ric (looks at his watch): Late? No, we don't need to be in court for another...(anvil smacks Ric right on the head and his jaw drops to the floor.) You're...you're...
Alexis nods her head.
Ric: When?...How?...
Ric and Alexis, in unison: THE CABIN!!!
The End…or is it?