Mine!

Disclaimer: Its all MINE!! MINE I SAY!!

Summary: Ok, maybe not.

"Er…Sam?" Frodo Baggins inquired, staring at a carton of yogurt that was eerily lying on the ground, unopened.

"Yes, Mr. Frodo?" Samwise Gamgee replied, breaking out of his daydreams of beautiful, golden taters.

"What is that?" asked Frodo, pointed to the yogurt carton.

"I wouldn't know, Mr. Frodo," Samwise answered, but then his voice grew low. "Don't touch it, Mr. Frodo! It may be a weapon of the enemy!"

But, poor Samwise was too late. Frodo had already pried open the top and dipped a finger into the pink substance cautiously. He tasted it, smelling the sweet taste of strawberries.

"It tastes of strawberries!" Mr. Frodo moaned, who had by now forgotten the taste of strawberries, so don't ask me how he remembered what it tasted like.

"NOOOOOOO!" Sam screamed, knocking over the carton of yogurt. "It must be poison!"

Frodo shrieked and leapt onto Sam, wanting more strawberry goodness.

Then Gollum walked onto the scene. "What is this, precious?" he said curiously, staring at the pink substance.

"MINE!" Frodo yelled, who had grabbed the carton before all of the yogurt poured out.

"MINE!" Gollum screamed, aiming for the Ring.

"MINE!" Frodo shrieked, accidentally covering the Ring with the yogurt carton as he brought it to his chest protectively.

"Actually…its mine," a nearby picnicker said sheepishly.

"Who are you?" demanded Sam.

"I am The Nearby Picnicker," said the nearby picnicker mysteriously, "And I am here to take you on a secret quest!"

"Cool!" Sam announced. "Do we get to see the Elves?"

"No," the nearby picnicker said bluntly.

"Do we get strawberries?" Frodo asked suspiciously.

"No," the nearby picnicker said.

"DO WE GET THE PRECIOUS, MY LOVE? THE PRECIOUS WE ALWAYS DESERVESES? AND KILL THE NASTY HOBBITSES, TRICKSY THEY ARE!" Gollum shrieked, scrambling off somewhere.

"…Not that either," said the nearby picnicker, looking a bit frightened.

Frodo was eating the yogurt rather messily.

"However…" the nearby picnicker said loudly, "You do get…A SPOON!"

He presented it to Frodo.

"Mine," Frodo said proudly.

"MINE!" Gollum shrieked, randomly appearing again.

"MINE!!!!!!!" Sam yelled, with all seven exclamation marks. He grabbed the spoon and flung it at the author.

"Ow," the author said bluntly.

THE END

Moral: Never throw spoons at authors. It is not very polite. Also, never feed hobbits yogurt. It is not very sensible.