The next thing on the agenda was to find a place for the wedding. Through some careful manipulation , Leonard got the Plaza. The next order of business was a maid of honor and best man. It was agreed that Chandler would be the best man. Of course, at his next marriage Ross promised Joey he could be best man. Rachel just gave him a dirty look. Rachel felt so bad because it had been decided that Phoebe was to be her maid of honor. This crushed Monica…
"I win! I win." exclaimed Phoebe.
"You didn't win anything. There was no competition." said Monica.
"I know I just like saying that." yelled Phoebe.
"Okay you guys I have a tough decision to make. You guys are both my friends and I still remember the Monica wedding fiasco. Phoebe you have always believed in me and Ross and Mon , Mon well you are going to be my sister."said Rachel.
"I know what we'll do. Monica and I will wrestle and the winner will of course be me." smiled Phoebe.
Joey just smiled, "Niiiice."
"I got to warn you I am undefeated . Buffay you are going down." Monica said as she got in a wrestling stance.
"Monica sitting on Ross and pinning him to the floor doesn't count." said Chandler.
"You wanna go next Bing ?" she said as she glared at him.
Joey grabbed Ross and dragged him into the apartment. "Dude Monica and Phoebe are chick fighting." Joey said excitedly.
Ross turned to him and said, "Joe for about the one millionth time , she IS my sister! Ewwww.And why are they wrestling?"
Rachel turned to him and said, "I couldn't decide which one as a maid of honor."
Ross gave her a look, "So this is how they decide! Phoebe you are divorced correct? Monica you are married.? He pointed at Phoebe and said "Maid of Honor" then pointed at Monica matron of honor." They all stared at him.
"Well I do have a Phd." he smugly said.
Monica snidely said, "and can't count to five."
Ross screamed, "It was the tanning spray guy's fault."
Since Joey had to go back to California, Ross and Rachel decided that they needed to sit down with him about him performing the ceremony. There would be no world war one uniforms or talking about his freezing parts. Rachel had a piece of paper in her hand.
"I don't see why this is necessary, I planned on telling everyone the beautiful story of your love." said Joey.
Rachel handed him the paper, "This is a list of things you are not going to mention when you are performing the ceremony." she said.
Joey read the list out loud, "Divorce, London, lesbians, Vegas, knocked up, the planetarium….can I use the phrase on a break?"
Ross screamed, "No! We never want to hear that again Why can't you just say we have known each other since we were kids and we were destined to be together?"
"Can I talk about the fact that Rachel's hot?" asked Joey.
Ross was about ready to jump on Joey. Rachel held her fiance back."I don't think that's a good idea, Joey. Why don't you let Chandler write something for you to read.?" Rachel calmly said.
"Pizza delivery," called the pizza girl.
"At last something important," Joey walked over to the delivery girl and smiled at her, "How you doin?" he grinned.
"See you just have to distract him." said Rachel. "Same old Joey."