Chapter 7: A Fateful Choice

The next morning Winter was pacing back and forth in front of the door to Yang's quarters. She stopped in front of it, tugged nervously on her tunic a few times, and then started pacing again. Why was this so hard? There were things she needed to say to Yang, and she couldn't leave until she'd said them. It was as simple as that, and yet the task felt like it was anything but simple.

Eventually, Winter got fed up with her own indecisiveness. She marched over to the door and resolutely knocked on it.

A moment later, the door slowly opened. Yang was standing on the other side wearing her chemise.

"Princess Yang," Winter said, trying to not sound nervous. "I wanted to apologize for last night."

"Oh yeah? Why?" Yang asked.

"I feel…I feel I unduly created some tension between us," Winter said, sounding unsure of herself. "I just wanted to clear up any misunderstanding."

"Oh, I understood perfectly," Yang said, giving Winter a rosy smile.

"Well then. Good," Winter said. However, she couldn't help but feel that Yang didn't understand at all. Or maybe she was the one who didn't understand.

Winter stood there awkwardly. She shifted on her feet and said, "I, uh…."

"Need to go hunt your dragon," Yang said. "Duty, honor, blah, blah, blah."

"Yes. That," Winter said. But she didn't leave. Her feet felt glued to the floor.

"Better get going then!" Yang said cheerfully. Although there was an undertone to her words that Winter couldn't quite pin down. "I'll be seeing you…tonight."

Yang gently but firmly closed her door. Winter was left standing in the hallway, alone and confused. She'd intended to clear the air with Yang this morning so their conversation from last night wouldn't be weighing on her, but she didn't think she'd accomplished that. She didn't think she'd accomplished anything at all except to make herself feel less certain than ever.

Several hours later, Winter was sitting at the table in the castle's drawing room. Her eyes stared out at her map and the piles of parchments without really taking any of it in. Her uncertainty had only gotten worse as the day had dragged on, leaving her lost and awash in an ocean of doubt. She hadn't felt this way since before she'd abdicated Atlas's throne and joined the Order. It was the Order that had given her life direction. So why was that sense of direction suddenly failing her?

There was a knock on the door. Winter didn't respond, having not really heard it.

The knock came again, louder this time.

Winter jumped with a start. "Enter!" she said.

The door opened, and much to Winter's surprise, Weiss walked in.

"Princess," Winter said.

"Please," Weiss said dryly. "Don't stand on formality for once. Not when it's just the two of us."

"Weiss," Winter said. "Do you…need something?"

"Captain Elm told me you've been very distracted today," Weiss said. "She's concerned about you."

"So she asked you to check up on me then?" Winter said.

"Of course not," Weiss said. "She knew she didn't need to."

"I appreciate your concern, Sister, but I am fine," Winter said.

"You're clearly not," Weiss said. "This is about the girl, isn't it."

"What? What are you implying?" Winter said in a sudden panic. "It is most certainly not about 'the girl'."

"It definitely is then," Weiss said with infuriating certainty. "Did Princess Yang reject you?"

"Absolutely not!" Winter scoffed. But then she realized she'd just tacitly admitted there was a connection between her and Yang. She sighed and said, "Quite the opposite in fact."

"So what's the problem?" Weiss asked.

"She is a princess of a foreign power," Winter said.

"A power so minor even Father has barely heard of it," Weiss said. "One we have no formal diplomatic ties with. And you have no royal authority anymore. If you're worried about a scandal…. What scandal?"

"People will still talk. And I am still a member of the royal family," Winter said. "My actions reflect on us all."

"People are already talking," Weiss said.

"They are? Since when?" Winter asked, jumping up in alarm.

"Since you walked into Atlas with Princess Yang on your arm," Weiss said.

"I did no such thing," Winter said.

"That doesn't matter," Weiss said. "You think gossip cares about the truth? Besides, everyone can see the chemistry you two have."

Winter opened and closed her mouth several times, but she couldn't seem to come up with a rebuttal.

"Look. I've watched you have a string of…." Weiss paused. Her face twisted into a strange expression. "…companions. And you've never had…whatever's going on happen to you before. So what's different this time?"

"Nothing is different because nothing is going to happen," Winter said. "And unlike the princess, those 'companions' as you call them were…."

Winter trailed off when she realized she had no idea what it was that distinguished Yang from her past lovers. Besides the obvious fact that Yang was not yet her lover, she quickly reminded herself.

Weiss's eyes narrowed. She asked, "They were what?"

"Enjoyable liaisons. Nothing more," Winter said.

Weiss looked contemplative for a moment. Then she said, "Oh. I get it."

"You do? Then please enlighten me," Winter said. She couched her words in sarcasm, but she really needed to know what Weiss had supposedly figured out.

"You actually care about Yang. She means something to you," Weiss said. "As a person."

"I care about people," Winter said indignantly. "Despite what some have insinuated, I don't hunt dragons to satisfy my ego."

"Yes. You care about people," Weiss said. "But that's not the same as caring about a person."

"That's preposterous," Winter said.

"Is it?" Weiss asked.

Winter scowled. Perhaps Weiss did have a point, but the thought of being counseled by her little sister was far too infuriating for her to admit anything out loud.

"So?" Weiss asked. "What are you going to do with Yang?"

"There's nothing to be done," Winter said. "Perhaps I have nothing to lose. But I can't let her jeopardize her future."

"That's rich, coming from you," Weiss said.

Winter felt her temper rising, but she forced herself to remain calm. She said, "My abdication was my choice."

"I know," Weiss said. "So why not let Yang make her own choice too?"

"Because it's a foolish one!" Winter said, her anger starting to get the better of her.

"According to who?" Weiss asked.

"According to…!" Winter shouted. But then her voice grew quiet. "…me."

"Sometimes you have to let people decide what's best for themselves," Weiss said.

"I'll take that under advisement," Winter said.

Weiss stared at Winter. Then she turned and started walking toward the door. She said, "This was bound to happen sooner or later. If not the princess, then it would've been someone else. You can only pretend not to want something for so long."

The door opened and closed as Weiss left. Winter slowly sat back down with a bewildered expression on her face. She remained still for several minutes. Then she picked a piece of parchment up off the table and got back to work.

Winter opened the door to her quarters and walked in. It was the end of the day, and her head felt like it was full of cotton. Princess Yang had not shown up for the midday meal again, but for once Winter was grateful. She hadn't been emotionally prepared for an encounter with the princess so soon. The dragon had also continued to elude her, but that seemed like a trivial concern right now. She was more preoccupied with what Weiss had said and what she was actually going to do about Yang.

Winter's map was in her hand. She walked over to her dresser to set it down, but she found something unexpected there. A single white lily was lying on top of the dresser next to a rolled-up piece of parchment.

Intrigued, Winter set her map down and gently ran a finger along one of the flower's delicate petals. It looked especially beautiful contrasted against the austere décor of her room. Winter picked up the parchment and unrolled it. Scrawled on it in a neat but unsophisticated handwriting was the single word "Tonight" and nothing more.

This was obviously Princess Yang's doing. Especially given how her conversation with Winter this morning had ended. Winter wondered where Yang had gotten a lily. There were fields where they were cultivated about a day's ride from the castle, but it was more likely Yang had purchased it from Atlas's markets. But with what currency, Winter couldn't guess. At least Winter knew why the princess had been absent around noon.

Winter realized she was focusing on the wrong thing. Yang's message might have been cryptic to a stranger, but it was perfectly clear to Winter. There was no putting it off any longer. She had to make her choice.

Winter neatly rolled the parchment up and set it down on the dresser. She stared at the flower, simultaneously allured by and wary of its beauty. She felt like she was perched atop a precipice. Turning back would be far safer, but the unknown possibilities beckoned irresistibly to her.

The minutes slipped by as Winter stood there, seemingly hypnotized by the flower. She would have liked to say that she was weighing her options or wrestling with her emotions, but that would have been a lie. She'd already made her decision. Or perhaps it had been made for her.

Winter finally plucked the flower off her dresser. She brought it to her nose and took in its fragrant scent. After savoring its aroma, she gently set it back down, turned toward the door, and left the room.

The hallway outside Winter's quarters was the exact same one she'd walked down moments before, yet it was completely different. The world itself seemed to have taken on a dreamlike quality, and Winter moved as if she was in a trance. She felt nervous and calm at the same time, both dreading and longing for what was about to happen.

The door to Yang's quarters loomed ahead of Winter, imposing despite how unremarkable it was. It didn't seem to be getting any closer, yet Winter inevitably found herself standing next to it. She lifted her hand to knock. But then she lowered it. The time to stand on social graces had passed. She grabbed the handle and let herself in.

The fireplace in Yang's room was lit, and the flames cast a warm glow about the space. Winter didn't see the princess herself as she walked inside, but she knew Yang was there. She could feel her unmistakable presence.

A pair of arms wrapped around Winter from behind and embraced her in a tight hug.

"I knew you'd come," Yang said in a smokey voice.

"Somehow, I did too," Winter said. "But perhaps I shouldn't have."

"Of course you should have. I'll just have to convince you," Yang said. Her hands began to gently caress Winter as she pressed in even closer.

Winter shuddered. She could feel every dip and curve of Yang's body against hers, and Yang was so close that her scent was all around her. Had she always smelled so intoxicating? Winter couldn't recall.

Suddenly, Yang's lips found the side of Winter's neck, and they gently nibbled on the skin there. Winter felt her knees go weak. She couldn't believe how quickly she was succumbing to Yang. Were a few tender touches really all it took for her to give in? She found it pathetic, but at this rate she wouldn't care for much longer.

"Princess…" Winter whispered.

Yang's hands and lips stopped, much to Winter's dismay. She said, "I'm not a princess. Not tonight."

Yang let go of Winter. Then she slowly and gracefully slunk around to Winter's front, making sure to brush up against Winter's body as she did so, silently teasing her with the promise of more. Yang looked Winter firmly in the eye and said, "Call me by my name, Winter. No 'princess', no 'Your Highness'. Just say my name."

Winter was powerless to resist. She said, "Yang…."

Yang smiled. Her lips drew in close, agonizingly close. But they refused to touch Winter's. She said, "This time you'll have to kiss me."

Winter hesitated. She knew this was it. Yang had led her to the very edge of the cliff, but she wasn't going to do Winter the courtesy of pushing her off. Winter would have to be the one to take that last step. She wanted to hate Yang for making her do this, as if being tricked or coerced would somehow have been preferable. However, Winter knew deep down that Yang was right. This had to be her choice. It wouldn't work any other way.

Winter leaned in and placed her lips on Yang's. The kiss was gentle and sweet, but it lingered. Winter was ashamed to admit that she'd been fantasizing about this moment, and it was better than she'd imagined it could be. Yang's lips were so amazingly soft, and the taste of them was like the sweetest nectar. As Yang kissed Winter back, Winter could feel the connection between them, and she was in awe of it. What was about to happen wasn't some meaningless act. This was two souls harmonizing in a way she had never experienced.

Winter pulled her lips away from Yang's. Somehow her hands had come to rest on Yang's shoulders. Yang reached up and touched Winter's cheek, wiping away tears that Winter hadn't realized she'd shed.

Yang's eyes locked with Winter's, tempting her, daring her. Winter accepted. She suddenly lunged forward, even surprising herself a little, and her lips crashed into Yang's. Their kisses came fierce and hot, stealing Winter's breath away. Her hands pawed at Yang's back, but they were frustrated by a loose bit of cloth. Yang must have been wearing her chemise; Winter hadn't even had time to notice. Yang's hands were likewise clawing at Winter's tunic, threatening to rip the garment open.

Winter let out a little yelp as she was suddenly and literally swept off her feet when Yang scooped her up into a bridal carry like it was nothing.

"Her Highness is surprisingly strong," Winter said.

Yang leaned in close and dipped Winter low. She said, "You're not supposed to call me that."

Winter couldn't tell if her head was spinning because of the blood rushing toward it or because of the deliciously compromising position she found herself in. She said, "You're right…Yang."

Winter felt brazen and transgressive for speaking to the princess in such a familiar way. Although she knew perfectly well that was the least transgressive thing about to happen.

"Better," Yang said. She tilted Winter back up. Then, with a gleam in her eye, she carried Winter over to the bed.

Many hours later, Winter lay on the bed, utterly exhausted and floating on a cloud of pure bliss. Yang was lying next to her, looking angelic in the light of the fireplace's fading embers. Winter couldn't remember a time she'd felt such contentment. It was like everything had become right with the world.

Winter felt something tap against her hand. She looked down and saw Yang's fingers intertwining with hers. It was the perfect capstone to a beautiful evening. However, a tiny bit of reality came creeping back to Winter, as it inevitably did, and she let out a sigh.

"What's that for?" Yang asked, squeezing Winter's hand.

Winter was silent for a moment. Then she said, "I never did tell you why I gave up being a princess."

Yang tilted her head in curiosity.

"Queens and kings are expected to produce heirs," Winter said. "And when they don't, chaos follows their passing. It is a sacred duty and responsibility. But the thought of…the steps required disgusted me to the point of illness."

Yang snickered before she clamped her mouth shut.

"Something you find amusing?" Winter asked, mildly incensed.

"Are you telling me you're too gay to be a princess?" Yang asked.

Winter scowled. But after thinking about it, she said, "I suppose I am."

It was apparently too much for Yang, and she burst into a fit of laughter.

"Are you mocking me?" Winter asked.

"Not you," Yang said. "It just goes to show you how stupid it all is. You know…. Society."

"At times, yes," Winter agreed.

Yang started absently running her finger over Winter's shoulder. She asked, "Do you think you made the right decision? Giving up the throne?"

"Yes," Winter said. Even she was surprised by how easily the answer came.

"See?" Yang said. "And it even led you to me."

"Yes…" Winter said. "If only…."

"If only what?" Yang asked.

"If only there was a future in it," Winter said. "In us."

"There is," Yang said.

"No, Yang. There is not," Winter said. "I will not set aside my duty."

This time it was Yang's turn to sigh. She said, "You know, I thought you were a fraud when we first met."

"Excuse me?" Winter asked.

"Oh, I believed you were a dragon slayer," Yang said. "But I didn't think you were as noble as you pretended to be."

"And now what do you think?" Winter asked.

"I think you're a good person. Like, truly good," Yang said. "It's just a shame who you work for."

"I don't 'work' for anyone," Winter said. "I serve a cause."

"Then you're one of the only ones who does," Yang said. "Go on. Ask 'Lord' Ironwood about the dragon's treasure next time you talk. I bet he's salivating to get his hands on it."

"Please. Don't ruin this moment," Winter said.

Yang rolled onto her side and snuggled up next to Winter. She said, "I'm sorry. I care about you is all. I don't want you to get hurt."

"You really do care about me," Winter muttered to herself. She was about to wonder out loud if Yang perhaps cared enough to love her, but she dared not. She was even less willing to contemplate if she might love Yang. Thinking about how short a time they had together was painful enough as it was.

"Stay," Yang suddenly said, squeezing Winter. "Not forever. Not yet anyway. But tonight."

"I will," Winter said. Truth be told, the thought of leaving hadn't even crossed her mind.

Author's Note: Due to some upcoming travel, I won't be able to post a new chapter next week. Expect updates to resume two weeks from now. I'm glad I was able to reach this important milestone before this mini hiatus. And speaking of which…. Everything is perfect, and now nothing can go wrong, right? Happily ever after and all that? Right?

As always, I welcome constructive criticism. Please feel free to leave a review. And if you like what you've read, taking the time to favorite and/or follow really helps me out. You can also find me on tumblr (electronicyarn) if you want to send me a message or be notified of updates.