I hated living alone in a big house. It made me feel lonely and unloved. It was worse when I lived with my drunken mother who treated me as if I didn't exist. So I tolled over in bed and stretched out feeling lonesome.

After Sean left, I was alone most of the time. Sean broke my heart and I had no intention of getting hurt again. The only time I wasn't alone was when Ashley used to stay over.

Recently Ashley had been spending time over here because of her wedding plans. She would stay here not to bug her fiancé, Craig. Craig and Ashley had worked things out and were engaged for the longest time. Craig was in the music business and stayed up till dawn working. He would get annoyed with the wedding plans. Ashley would come here and I would help with the details. Considering I was maid of honor, I had a lot of influence on the wedding.

I fished around for my telephone to call Ashley. I lifted the pillows and the blankets to find it. No where to be found. I buried my head around the pillows again. I just started to fall back asleep when there was a loud crash from downstairs. I shot up in bed grabbing my black robe as I rushed down to the kitchen. I slipped on the floor bumping into Ashley. What was Ashley doing in my house?

"Ash, what are you doing? Why are you here?" I asked pulling myself up.

She rubbed her ass as she got up. "Ellie, have you lost your mind? Today is March 20, 2011 or to most people, my wedding day. El, you know that."

I slapped my forehead forgetting the most important thing: Ashley's wedding. I started racing around the kitchen looking for paper. "We need to do: our makeup, get dressed, do our hair, get the flowers…" I kept rambling on as Ashley stood there staring at me.

She chuckled loudly, "Ellie, would you relax? It's my wedding day and you're more nervous than I am. My mom is coming over at 11 to do our hair and makeup. The flowers are coming at 11:30. Just take a deep breath. What's got you so worked up anyway?"

I sighed, "I'm just a little curious on who's the best man considering I'm the maid of honor. I would just like to know who I'm walking down the aisle with. It's a comfort thing."

"Don't worry about it. Trust me you'll like who it is. I can tell you that you know this person and like this person, but that's all otherwise Craig will kill me. So…have any dreams about my wedding last night?"

"No, but I did have a strange dream. It was about Sean, Sean Cameron. I didn't understand it. I haven't seen him in almost a decade and here he is in my dream. I was standing in the hallway that Sean asked me out in Degrassi. Marco is there and he tells me that Sean is looking for me. I'm awestruck. So of course stupid me, I go looking for him. I see him in the media immersion lab with his back to me but when I go to talk to him, he vanishes. What do you think that means?"

Ashley went over to the cupboard and pulled out two coffee mugs. "Maybe he's here and wants to see you, but he's afraid you won't understand why he left. It seems like he's right here, yet so far away. El, I really don't know. Just don't let it bother you."

I sat there holding the warm mug wondering why Ash was being so secretive. She seemed to have something hidden away. Today was her day; she had ever reason to be. I smiled meekly at her as she took her coffee and walked upstairs.

I still couldn't help but think something was going on. So what if the other bridesmaids didn't know their escorts? I was the fucking maid of honor. The maid of honor is supposed to talk to the best man. This was making it harder and heard to be a good friend and maid of honor. Nevertheless, I put my insecurities aside and let my thoughts of Sean and the best man float away like the steam rising from the coffee.