A Reckless Christmas Eve
By MKT
Scene: Hallway outside of Alexis's (and now, Ric's) apartment, a little after 6 p.m. on Christmas Eve. Ric is coming home from work.
We see Ric come around the corner, stopping right before the front door of the apartment. He has a blue velvet box in his hand. He looks at the box, smiles, and puts it in his suit coat pocket. He starts to put his key in the door lock, when he suddenly notices white smoke coming from under the door. Just then the smoke alarm goes off.
Ric (yelling as he fumbles with the key in the lock): Alexis!
Ric opens the door and is confronted by a wall of smoke. He sees Kristina playing with blocks on the coffee table, oblivious to the haze. Ric runs over to her and snatches her up, still calling frantically for Alexis. He hears her calling from the kitchen:
Alexis: Ric! Ric! Quick, open the doors to the balcony!
Ric: What?!
Just then Alexis – dressed in the ubiquitous green wedding hoodie – comes from the kitchen, through the dining area and into the living room carrying a large, blackened, smoking lump on a metal platter.
Alexis: Quick, open the doors!
Ric puts Kristina down, and races Alexis to the doors. He swings them inward and just barely gets out of the way when Alexis heaves the entire blackened lump out over the railing.
Ric (stunned and horrified): What the hell was that?!
Alexis starts fanning the room with the right-side French door. Ric starts fanning with the left.
Alexis (fretfully): Dinner. I was trying to make a roast.
Ric: A roast what?
Alexis (still fanning with the door): Beef…I think. I went to the grocery store, and I asked the man behind the meat counter what I should cook for a traditional Christmas Eve dinner, and he gave me this…this…big hunk of meat. I didn't know what it was. So I asked him how to prepare it and he gave me this nice index card with the cooking directions…
Ric (still fanning with the door): And the directions said to burn it to a crisp?
Alexis (still fanning): Well, no. The directions said to cook it in a 350-degree oven for 2 hours.
Ric (still fanning): Okay…
Alexis (still fanning): Well, I didn't have my glasses on – they kind of got full of flour – and I thought the card said 550 degrees…
Ric (still fanning): Flour?
Alexis (still fanning): Yes, Kristina and I were making cookies – from a recipe!
Meanwhile, Kristina has gone over to the dining room table where she picks up a dark brown cookie from a plate. She starts back over to hand the cookie to Ric. The smoke alarm quiets. Ric stops fanning with the door as Kristina gives him the odd looking cookie.
Kristina: Coo key?
Ric (ruffles Kristina's curly hair): Thanks, honey.
A confused look comes over Ric's face.
Ric (to Alexis): You made triangle shaped chocolate cookies?
Alexis: Not exactly… (Ric starts to take a bite.) They're supposed to be Christmas tree sugar cookies.
Ric spits out the burned cookie.
Alexis: Oh, everything is just ruined!
She puts her face in her hands. Ric comes to her with outstretched arms. She buries her head in his chest.
Alexis: I just wanted to make our first Christmas Eve together special and memorable.
Ric (chuckling): Well, you've got the memorable part right.
He continues to hug her for a few more seconds. Then pushes her back to look into her eyes.
Ric: Alexis, I am so touched that you would…attempt to cook for me.
He hugs her again. She instantly feels better.
Ric: Listen. The Chinese place on the corner is still open. I'll just run down there and pick us up something. Everything will be fine. We'll have a nice meal. We'll read Kristina some Christmas stories. We'll decorate the tree. It'll be great.
Alexis: Oh, wait! Look what Kristina and I did this afternoon!
She points across the room to a decidedly tilted, lop-sided fir tree in the corner. With all the commotion over the burnt roast, Ric hadn't noticed it. While it is a 6-foot tall tree, the ornaments, lights and tinsel are only on the upper two feet.
Alexis: You know, I've never done one of those things before.
Ric (mouth gaping open at the, uh, unusual tree): You'd never know it. (Beat) Uh…what's with the decorations?
Alexis: Oh, I had to keep everything out of Kristina's reach. (Pause) Listen, why don't you go get that Chinese food.
(Commercial break)
Scene: Alexis and Ric's apartment, about an hour or so later. Ric is in the living room; Chinese food cartons are spread out on the coffee table. He is now dressed in gray sweat pants and a white tee. And he's barefoot. The lights are dimmed and the stereo softly plays instrumental Christmas music.
Ric is uncorking a chilled bottle of white wine as Alexis comes out from the hallway.
Ric: She asleep?
Alexis: She's all tucked in and out like a light.
Ric: With visions of sugar plums dancing in her head.
Alexis: I've always wondered, what is a sugar plum, anyway?
Ric: I have no idea. (Pops the cork.)
Alexis: Does French wine go with Hunan Twin Delight?
Ric: Sure, why not?
He pours two glasses of the white wine, and they both sit on the living room floor in front of the coffee table. Using chopsticks, they eat out of the little white boxes.
Ric (pointing to Alexis with his chopsticks): How's your Tofu with Mixed Vegetables?
Alexis: Excellent. Here try some. (She loads a big wad of tofu on her chopsticks and starts to bring it to Ric's face.)
Ric (chuckling): Uh, no, thank you.
Alexis: No, here, really, try some (the chopsticks get closer to Ric's mouth.) Tofu is good for you.
Ric (in mock horror): Ugh, no, get that stuff away from me!
Ric puts up his hands in defense of the tofu assault, knocking the food off its chopstick perch and all down the front of his white T-shirt.
Alexis: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry!
She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe the mess off his chest, but just manages to spread the glop all over.
Ric (laughing, mainly because she's tickling him a little): Oh, yuck! Stop, no, it's okay!
And, in one liquid motion, Ric removes the white tee – causing Alexis to drop her entire carton of Tofu with Mixed Vegetables on the carpet.
She doesn't notice. She just keeps looking at Ric.
Ric reaches over with a handful of napkins, trying to wipe up the tofu mess on the carpet, his face dangerously close to hers. Their eyes lock, and Ric whispers…
Ric: Merry Christmas.
And they go in for a long, slow passionate kiss.
(Commercial break!)
The scene resumes with Ric and Alexis lying on the floor kissing. Ric breaks the embrace a bit abruptly and sits up.
Ric: Hey, guess what? I've got something for you.
He jumps up and goes over to his suit coat, which is slung over the desk chair.
Alexis: I've got something for you, too.
She reaches under the Christmas tree. When they both turn around to face each other again, they – and we – notice that they are each holding an identical blue velvet box.
Ric comes back to sit on the floor with Alexis. He holds his box out to her.
Ric: Here, open mine first.
With some trepidation, she takes the small box, and opens the hinged lid. Inside is a platinum wedding band, a circle of channel set diamonds.
Alexis (with tears in her eyes): Oh my God, Ric, it's beautiful! (Stares at the ring for a moment and then hands her gift to Ric.) Here, open mine.
Ric pulls back the lid to reveal a platinum wedding band with a grooved edge.
Ric (with a chuckle): I see we had the same idea.
Alexis (through the happy tears): Well, you know, great minds and all that.
Ric reaches over and pulls Alexis's ring out of its cradle.
Ric: Allow me to do the honors.
And he slips the ring on her left hand. Alexis reciprocates and slips Ric's ring on his finger.
Ric (whispers softly as he goes in for a kiss): Thank you.
Alexis goes to put her arms around Ric…and promptly knocks a glass of wine off the coffee table, into Ric's lap.
Ric: Yikes! That's cold! (Ric jumps up and swiftly removes his gray sweatpants, revealing the black boxer briefs underneath.)
At first, Alexis is mortified, but Ric starts laughing heartily.
Ric: You know, Alexis, if you had really wanted to get me naked, you just had to ask. (She starts laughing, too.) You didn't have to go to all the trouble of slopping food and wine all over me. (He kneels down in front of her.) Here, how would you like it if I flung some Hunan Twin Delight on you?
Ric dips his fingers in the carton, scoops out some slivers of pork and vegetables in spicy brown sauce and gently smears it down the front of the green hoodie.
Ric (scooting closer to Alexis): Oh, no, look at that. Well, we're just going to have to take that off, aren't we?
Alexis pretends to fend off Ric's attempt to unzip the hoodie. Ric pins her to the floor, and manages to kiss her and remove the hoodie at the same time, tossing it over his shoulder across the room.
The hoodie lands in the Christmas tree.
Ric: And, you know, you look a little thirsty.
He grabs the wine bottle off the coffee table and proceeds to pour a little bit down the front of her white camisole.
They start to kiss, more and more passionately. Without looking, Ric tries to put the wine bottle back on the coffee table, but leaves it precipitously close to the edge. The bottle falls over, leaking its contents on to the rug. No one notices.
Dissolve to Ric and Alexis wrapped – as this is, after all, daytime television – solely in a blanket as they roll around the living room floor kissing wildly. She's on top of him, then he's on top of her. Lost in the moment, the two of them roll towards the Christmas tree – and right over the extension cord for the lights.
The cord suddenly tightens. A little too tight. The whole tree comes crashing down, just missing Ric and Alexis.
They stop in mid-kiss, shock and surprise on their faces. They then look at each other and burst out laughing.
Ric: God, I love you.
Alexis: I love you, too.
They look at the downed tree.
Ric: Eh…let Santa clean it up later.
And they go back to what they were doing.
Cut to camera shot from above as we see Ric and Alexis rolling around on the floor, the fallen Christmas tree, the overturned coffee table, and Chinese food containers and the wine bottle strewn about the floor.
Fade to black as the last few strains of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" play in the background.
End of scene.