Author's Note – I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get posted.  The brief explanation is that I had computer issues.  I won't bore you with the saga of not having my laptop.  Now that my computer issues have been resolved, I hope to begin posting more regularly again.  I am beginning to put together some ideas for another crossover story and would like to get this completed soon; so, I can focus on the new story.

I also would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have given suggestions for more school activities.  They were all very good, and I am currently working on which ones will most easily incorporate into the storyline.

As Strong As We Are United

Chapter 18 – It's Personal

            On Sunday morning the fifth through seventh year students returned to their house dormitories.  The seventh year girls agreed not to discuss anything that had been said the previous night.  Most were reeling after the inter-house bonding session.  There were two exceptions.  Lisa Turpin and Parvati Patil promised again the next morning to speak with the objects of the other's affection.  Also, Hermione asked Pansy to explain her battle of the sexes idea at the next prefect meeting.

            As they walked through the corridors, Hermione whispered to Dawn and Shannon.  "I wanted to thank both of you for heading off Lavender last night.  I really wasn't in the mood to talk about the breakup."  Hermione made finger quotes around 'breakup.'

            Ron overheard his girlfriend.  "I was actually right about something," he said.  The girls gave him a quizzical look.  "I told Seamus, Neville, and Dean that the reason you were giggling constantly last night was because you were talking about us."

            "How do you know we were the ones giggling?" asked Shannon.

            "Please," drawled Draco.  "Living below you three, any of us could recognize your giggling."

            "Yeah, you do it almost every night," added Harry.

            The girls stared at the boys in shock.  "We do not giggle that much," said Hermione indignantly.

            "Yes you do," said Cat.  "Don't forget that my room is next to yours."  The girls looked completely put out, while the boys laughed.

            Before the girls could argue further, they had reached the portrait of the Slayer that guarded the common room.  As the students and Scooby faculty entered their common room, Willow was preparing to leave.  "Hey, Wills, where are you going so early?" asked Buffy.  She noticed immediately that her best friend seemed more anxious than usual.

            "Got to do some research," replied Willow.

            "Did something happen?" Buffy asked.  "Did you get news about the big bad?"

            Willow shook her head.  "No, its personal research.  I really need to get to the library."  Willow practically ran out of the room.

            Dawn looked at Buffy, the sisters sharing a look of worry.  "Something's wrong," said Dawn softly.

            Buffy nodded.  "We'll give her a little bit of time.  I'll go find her after breakfast."

            "I'll go with you," said Dawn.  "Maybe I can help her research whatever's bothering her."

            "I'll help too," added Hermione.

            "That's not a bad idea," mused Buffy.  "If you two just ask to help her research, maybe she won't get too defensive."

****************

            Willow entered the library and immediately headed for the restricted section.  The type of spell she was searching for would require some serious magicks.  Willow gave a quick wave to Madame Pince before taking a seat at the table closest to the books she would need.  The old librarian nodded slightly and returned to her own work.

            Willow worked quietly for nearly two hours.  She did not even notice how much time had passed.  Suddenly she was interrupted by two people, sitting down beside her.  Willow jumped slightly, but calmed immediately when she realized that Dawn and Hermione were the ones to interrupt her.

            "We thought you might like some help researching," said Hermione cheerfully.

            Willow smiled at the Head Girl.  "No thanks," she said.  "You both have enough work to do without adding my personal research to it."

            Dawn persisted.  "Why don't you tell us what you're researching, and we can decide if we want to help."

            Willow looked from one girl to the other, her eyes settling firmly on Dawn.  "Buffy sent you, didn't she?"

            Dawn sighed.  "We're worried.  You were being all anxious Willow this morning."

            Willow smiled tightly.  "It really isn't that big of a deal.  You know that I do a lot of meditation work as part of my recovery."  The two Gryffindors nodded.  "Well, I've been neglecting it since we got back to Hogwarts because I've been so busy.  Anyway, I hoped that with all of you out last night that I could do some serious meditation.  But it didn't work."

            "What do you mean it didn't work?" asked Hermione with interest.

            Willow explained.  "I never tried meditating here before.  Last year I didn't do any work on my recovery.  I waited until I was at the retreat this summer.  So, I tried to do it last night, but there is so much magic that surrounds Hogwarts.  It's good magic, but it still interfered with me manipulating my own magic.  Does that make sense?"

            "Actually, it does," said Hermione.  "The magic here affects everything.  That's why muggle electronics don't work on the Hogwarts grounds unless they're charmed."

            "But what are you researching then?" asked Dawn.  "You can't be thinking about messing with Hogwarts magic."

            Willow shook her head.  "Of course not.  A lot of that good magic is what's protecting the school.  I'm looking for some kind of spell that will shield me from the school's magic, while I do my meditation work."

            "So how goes the search?" asked Dawn.

            "I haven't found anything yet – not even something close," replied Willow.  "But there's still a lot of books to go through."

            Hermione looked deep in thought.  She stood quickly, nearly knocking over her chair.  She walked purposely to the restricted section.  "Make sure Madame Pince knows that I have your permission for this," Hermione called over her shoulder.

            Dawn and Willow looked at each other in confusion.  "I agree with Ron," mumbled Dawn.  "I really hate when she does that."

            Less than five minutes later, Hermione returned with a large old book.  Moste Potente Potions was written on the cover.  "I remembered a potion in this book that can protect a person from any external magic."  Dawn and Willow smiled.  Hermione shook her head.  "I know what you're thinking.  It doesn't protect against direct curses, just background magic."

            "Actually," corrected Willow, "I was wondering how you know what's in a potions book from the restricted section.  I know you had carte blanche last year with researching the prophecy, but somehow I don't think you were looking up potions."

            Hermione nervously bit chewed on her lower lip.  "You probably don't want to know," she said quietly.

            "Try me," said Willow.  She was more curious than upset.

            Hermione took a deep breath and spoke very quickly.  "In second year, we though Draco might be the heir of Slytherin.  So, we brewed an illegal polyjuice potion in the girls' toilet so that we could turn into Slytherins and question Draco.  Harry and Ron turned into Crabbe and Goyle, but I accidentally used cat hair and wound up in the hospital wing for like a month.  And after all that they didn't find out much, just that Draco knew about the Chamber of Secrets but not who opened it."

            Dawn and Willow were staring at Hermione in amusement.  "Is that what I sound like when I babble?" Willow asked Dawn.  Dawn nodded.  Willow then turned her attention to Hermione.  "You were right.  I don't want to know.  So tell me about the potion that can help me."

            Hermione showed Willow the recipe for the protection potion.  "It's really complicated," Hermione commented.

            Willow agreed.  "Maybe I should ask Snape for some help with it," she thought aloud.

            The two Gryffindors shared a look.  "Better you than us," said Dawn.  Hermione nodded in agreement.

****************

            Faith arrived in the Scooby common room just before lunch to find Buffy nervously pacing in front of the fireplace.  Faith felt a wave of panic, as she looked at her fellow Slayer.  Something must have happened for Buffy to be so wound up.  "What happened?" asked Faith, a nervous edge in her voice.

            "Not here," said Buffy, looking around cautiously.  Even though there was no one else in the common room, Buffy grabbed Faith's arm and pulled her toward the stairs leading to Buffy's quarters.  The dark-haired Slayer looked confused.  "They all just left for lunch, but someone could come back," explained Buffy.  Faith nodded, though she was still deeply confused.

            Buffy pushed Faith into her sitting room and slammed the door.  Before Faith could ask what was happening, Buffy turned her attention to her fellow Slayer.  "Did you have any strange dreams last night?" Buffy asked without preamble.

            Faith smiled, thinking about the dream she had.  "Yeah, I did.  You were in it.  We were making a bed and talking about random things."

            Buffy began to pace again.  "Do you remember having that kind of dream before?"

            Faith looked at Buffy, as if she were losing her mind.  "No.  Why?"

            "I had the same dream," Buffy stated. 

            Faith looked surprised.  "But it wasn't like one of my normal prophetic dreams," said Faith.  "We weren't fighting anything, just talking."

            "I've had that same kind of dream before," explained Buffy.  "Both times were when you were in a coma.  The first time was right before graduation.  We were making the bed in your apartment.  You told me how to defeat the mayor and then rambled on about counting down from 730.  Then later, I had another one.  We were making my bed on Revello Drive, and you told me about my sister coming."

            Faith was evidently worried.  "But neither of those were exactly prophetic, right?" she asked.

            "I didn't think so at the time," replied Buffy.  "But, like two and a half years after the first dream Giles was going back over some of his old Watcher diaries.  He thinks that the countdown was to my death – 730 days would be two years.  And, now that I know when the monks created Dawn the second dream was obviously prophetic about her coming."

            "So you think this one is prophetic too," said Faith.  It was not a question.  Buffy nodded.

            "Okay, step by step, what do you remember?" asked Buffy.

            Faith screwed up her face in concentration.  "We were making the bed, then Voldemort appeared.  I said something about him not being our fight, and then he Disapparated.  So, I guess the dream was telling us that the kids are going to be the ones to take down this big bad.  But, we kind of knew that already.  I don't see why you're so upset about it all of a sudden."

            Buffy took a deep breath.  "Do you remember what else we talked about in the dream?  The part about the babies coming?"  Faith smiled widely, though it looked like she was trying to suppress the grin.  "What?" asked Buffy.

            "I wasn't going to say anything yet," said Faith.  "So, promise that for now this stays between us."  Buffy promised.  "This summer Robin and I got to talking about having kids someday.  Well, we didn't exactly plan it like this, but someday seems to be now."

            It took Buffy a few minutes to fully comprehend what Faith was saying.  "You're pregnant?"

            Faith nodded.  "About seven weeks."

            Buffy smiled widely and hugged her sister Slayer.  "Congratulations.  Robin knows, right?"

            Faith smacked Buffy's arm.  "Of course, Robin knows.  He's thrilled.  But, we decided not to tell anyone for the first three months just to make sure that everything's okay first.  So, seriously don't tell anyone."

            "I can't believe you want me to keep such a big secret," replied Buffy.  "This is going to be hard."

            Faith shook her head.  "Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt for you to tell Charlie just to get it out of your system.  But no one else, okay?"

            Buffy smiled broadly.  "Fair enough.  I'll swear him to secrecy."  Buffy suddenly looked deep in thought.  "In the dream you said babies, as in more than one.  Maybe you're having twins."

            Faith laughed.  "I kind of hope not.  I'm not exactly sure what to do with one baby, let alone two.  Now, come on.  The pregnant woman needs food before training."

            Faith began to walk toward the door, but Buffy remained motionless.  "Should you still be training and fighting?" Buffy asked.  "The baby could get hurt."

            "After Robin and I got married, he asked Wesley to check the Watcher diaries about other Slayers having kids.  Robin's mom had him before she was called.  Anyway, those who did kept right on fighting until just before giving birth," explained Faith.  Buffy still looked unsure.  "Look, B., I'm not looking to get into a real fight, but the minor stuff we do in class will be fine.  Besides, I figured that once I started showing, you and Spike could do most of the demonstrations and I'll just stick to correcting the kids' techniques."

            "Okay," agreed Buffy.  "But you know that now I won't fight you full-force."

            "Figured as much," replied Faith.  "Now can we go get food.  I'm eating for two here."

            "Or three," commented Buffy, as they exited her sitting room.

****************

            After lunch, Willow tentatively approached Snape's office, hoping desperately that he was there and not hiding in his personal rooms.  She breathed a sigh of relief, when she noticed that the door was slightly open and light was pooling into the corridor.  Willow approached the door and knocked softly.  "What do you want?" called Snape in a tone of annoyance.

            Willow entered the office.  "Professor Snape, I wanted to discuss a potion with you."

            Snape looked up from the papers he was grading.  His features softened slightly, when he noticed that it was not a student who had disturbed him.  "What can I do for you, Professor Rosenberg?"

            Willow smiled and showed Snape the potion that she was interested in making.  "This is a very complicated potion, Professor Rosenberg.  May I ask why you need it?"

            Willow knew that he would ask this question.  She launched into her rehearsed answer.  "I've been trying to employ some meditation techniques as part of my recovery.  The magic that surrounds Hogwarts causes a great deal of interference.  From what I have read, this protection potion can shield me from the surrounding magicks; so, that I can focus only on my own."

            "Recovery?" questioned Snape.

            "Dumbledore never told you about me, before he brought us to Hogwarts?" asked Willow.  She was surprised that her reputation had not proceeded her among the faculty.

            "The headmaster informed us that you were powerful, but untrained.  I know that you activated the potential Slayer.  What else is there to know?" asked Snape.  He was glaring at Willow like one of his students.  She suddenly felt very unsure of herself.

            Willow spoke softly.  "I was addicted to dark magicks.  I did unforgivable things.  Unfortunately, the battle with the First Evil interrupted my recovery.  After Kennedy's death last year, I realized that I needed to refocus on my recovery."  She glared right back at Snape.  "I have no intention of falling back into the darkness," she stated with conviction.

            Snape was momentarily taken aback.  He questioned the seriousness of Willow's admission.  He almost laughed to himself.  She was powerful, but did not seem the type to have descended into real darkness.  Kennedy's death had been an accident.  He had read the report.  Willow was not like him.  He knew what it was to have done unforgivable things. 

            Without realizing it, Snape laughed.  "I'm sorry, Professor Rosenberg, but it's hard to believe that you have done anything truly unforgivable."

            A single tear slid down Willow's cheek.  "Being a murderer is unforgivable," she said softly.

            Snape shook his head.  "I read the aurors' report.  Kennedy's death was an accident during a battle.  It's tragic, but it was not your fault."

            Willow shook her head.  Snape prepared himself for her argument.  He knew what true darkness was, having reveled in it for a time as a Death Eater.  Since he had come back to Dumbledore's side, there had been occasions where well-meaning people had expressed to him their personal guilt for misguided actions.  But, never had these misguided actions come even close to his own sins.  For a moment he almost wished that he would not always be alone in understanding what it felt like to fight for one's own redemption.

            Willow's voice sounded unusually strained.  "I killed a man, skinned him alive.  And then, I almost ended the world."  Whatever Snape had been expecting that was not it.  For the first time in years, he was truly at a loss for words.  "So," continued Willow.  "You can see why it's important that I am able to work on my recovery."

            Snape nodded.  "I will make up the potion for you," he stuttered.  "It will take three weeks."

            Willow smiled.  "Thank you," she said softly, before turning and exiting the dungeon office. 

            "She tried to end the world," Snape repeated softly to himself, after she was gone.  He knew that Dumbledore must have purposely omitted this fact. 

            Snape now found that he had many questions about the Research Skills professor.  She had always struck him as someone filled with goodness.  She almost always smiled.  She was always there to help her students or her friends.  She was even pleasant toward him at all times.  Most importantly, she willingly fought against evil.

            In fact, of all the new faculty members from the past year, Snape had found that he liked her best.  She was an expert at research, had experience with fighting against most demons, and had enough power to activate the potential Slayers.  Yet, she was smart enough to realize that there was much she did not know.  She had just asked him to a brew a potion, deferring to his expertise instead of taking the risk of trying it on her own.  'Certain Gryffindors could learn from her,' he thought.

            Shaking his head to clear these thoughts, Snape stood and walked over to the large bookcase against the far wall of his office.  He pulled out a copy of The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts.  The latest edition had only been released three months ago.  If she really tried to end the world, it would be mentioned in this book.

            Snape returned to his desk, flipping through the book.  The second to the last chapter focused on the closing of the hellmouth in Sunnydale.  It also chronicled many of the major events that had taken place there prior to the final battle.  He found a small paragraph detailing the near apocalypse that had occurred a little more than two years ago.

In May of 2002, a powerful self-taught witch who was steeped in the dark arts tried to destroy the world as we know it.  Willow Rosenberg, having lost her lover in a violent attack by a muggle, decided to take it on herself to end her suffering by ending the world.  After brutally murdering her lover's killer, Rosenberg drew on stolen power to resurrect an evil that had been buried for centuries.  Though no one knows for sure how she was stopped, rumor has it that a close muggle friend refused to leave her side, forcing her to face the pain she was feeling.

To date Rosenberg has not been punished for her actions.  The American Ministry of Magic officially stated that they are unable to prosecute her.  The death of her lover's killer could have been caused by any number of demons that are regularly found on the hellmouth.  Also, the hellmouth obscures the Ministry's ability to track any spells that may have been performed.  As to the charge of trying to end the world, the American MoM again claims that there is no proof since she was unsuccessful.

            Snape closed the book.  Even though Willow had told him what she had done, seeing it in print made it all the more real.  She really was like him, fighting for redemption.  'Maybe we can help each other,' he thought.  Picking up the book, he rose and left his office.

****************

            As was the routine on a Sunday afternoon, the nine teens were doing stretching exercises in preparation for their physical training with Buffy and Faith.  The two Slayers had yet to come down from Buffy's quarters.  The students thought they must be discussing training, but in actuality the two Slayers were talking about babies.

            The teens were interrupted from their activity by a loud knock coming from the other side of the portrait hole.  "I'll get it," said Buffy, who was finally descending the stairs from her room, followed closely by Faith.  "We don't want any of the students to see you in your training clothes.  It would be suspicious."

            Buffy opened the portrait hole slightly, planning to slip out into the corridor to greet the visitor.  However, when she realized that it was Professor Snape, she allowed him entry to the common room.  He, McGonagall, and Dumbledore knew about the students' training.

            Snape looked around at the students, who had become silent upon seeing him.  "Hey, Sev.  We were just about to start training," explained Faith.  "You're welcome to observe if you want."

            Snape shook his head.  "While I might take you up on that offer at a later time, I was hoping to speak with Professor Rosenberg.  Do you know where I might find her?"

            "She should be in her room," replied Buffy.  "Wills," she bellowed loudly, making Snape jump.  He sighed deeply, wondering if it was possible that any Americans knew what proper manners were."

            Willow came bouncing halfway down the stairs.  "What do you need?" she called to her best friend.

            "Sev's here to see you," replied Buffy, motioning toward Snape.

            Willow immediately appeared nervous.  "Is there a problem, Professor Snape?" she asked.  She was worried that after she told him about her past, he might have changed his mind about helping her.

            "I was wondering if I could speak with you for a moment?" replied Snape, sneering at everyone in the room who was starring at him, while adding, "privately."

            "We can go to my sitting room," suggested Willow.  "Come on up."  She turned and climbed the stairs.  Snape followed.

            "What was that about?" Buffy asked Faith.  The dark-haired Slayer shrugged.

****************

            Willow sat in the overstuffed armchair in her sitting room, and Snape sat across from her on the couch.  In her nervousness, she immediately began to babble.  "I understand why you would have second thoughts about helping me.  When I asked, I didn't realize that you didn't know about my past.  The things I did are unforgivable, and my friends have been really good about it, but it makes sense that someone who doesn't know me very well would have a problem with it.  I mean I killed a man.  I'm a murderer.  I wouldn't want anything to do with me; so, I get why you don't want to help, and I'm okay with that, really I am."

            Snape suppressed a chuckle.  He found Willow's babbling almost endearing in an annoying sort of way.  He put up a hand to signal her to stop.  "Sorry," said Willow.  "I babble, when I'm nervous.  But like I said, I understand why you wouldn't want to help me."

            "Professor Rosenberg. . . Willow, I never said that I did not want to help you," assured Snape.  "I admit that I was surprised by what you told me, though I should have already known."  He handed her the book with the passage about her clearly marked.

            Willow took a minute to read it.  "Wow," she said softly.  "I guess I read an earlier addition of this book."  She looked up at the older professor.  "Is this what you came here to show me?"

            Snape took a deep breath.  "After reading this, it made me realize that I would not be adequately helping you by making that potion."

            "So then you aren't going to help me with it," replied Willow.

            "Again, that is not what I said," answered Snape.  "I think that I would be a bigger help to you, not by making the potion for you, but by teaching you to make it yourself.  I know what it is to struggle down the long road to redemption.  It would be my pleasure to help you, if you are willing, that is."

            Willow's eyes lit up.  "That would be great.  Are you sure you don't mind?"

            Snape smiled slightly.  It was one of the few occasions that Willow had seen any emotion on his face.  "Working together could be mutually beneficial.  And, you do have the talent to become a formidable potions mistress someday."

            Willow could not help but giggle.  "You do realize that you just complemented a student, right?"

            "Not a student," replied Snape.  "A colleague.  And, maybe someday a friend."  Willow smiled in reply.

            Snape stood.  "We can begin after dinner tomorrow evening if that is convenient for you."

            Willow stood as well.  "That would be fine," she replied, before walking Snape down to the Scooby common room and to the portrait hole.

            When he left, Buffy noticed the smile on Willow's face.  "What was that all about?" the Slayer asked her best friend.

            "Just two people helping each other on the journey back to the light," replied Willow.  As she walked back toward the stairs leading to her private quarters, everyone in the room could only stare at her retreating form.

****************

            Late that night, Buffy and Charlie were curled up in bed together.  He noticed that she was being exceptionally quiet considering that she was obviously still awake.  "What are you thinking about?" he asked, knowing that it was at these quiet times when she tended to let herself worry about coming battles.

            "Babies," Buffy replied.

            Charlie was taken aback.  He was pretty sure that after the conversation they had at Grimmauld Place that Buffy had no interest in the idea of having a family for several years.  Then again, since the start of the school term, they had not always been very careful.  Maybe she was trying to tell him something.  With a worried expression, Charlie sputtered,  "Babies in general or a particular someone having a baby?"

            "A particular someone," replied Buffy.  Charlie's eyes grew wide, and Buffy immediately realized what he was thinking.  "Not me, you goof," she said, slapping his arm gently.  Charlie immediately relaxed.

            "Who, then?" he asked curiously.

            Buffy smiled broadly.  "It's still a secret; so, you have to promise not to tell," she said.  Charlie nodded.  "Faith's pregnant."

            "Does Robin know?" asked Charlie.

            Buffy smacked his arm again.  "Of course, Robin knows.  Though I did ask Faith the same thing."

            "So, you're just thinking about Faith having a baby then?  Not thinking about us having one in the future, I mean."

            Buffy shrugged.  "I was kind of thinking about how having a baby would affect the whole Slayer gig.  Things are different now with so many of us.  And, it's not like a Slayer has never had a kid.  Robin is living proof that it's happened.  I don't know.  I just never really thought that far ahead.  I never figured I would live that long.  But, suddenly now it seems possible."

            Charlie wrapped his arms around Buffy.  "You have your whole future ahead of you.  And, someday that will include having a family of your own."

            "I know," replied Buffy softly.  "It's still just kind of hard to get used to the idea of a real future."