A dazed Stanton came to, his head pounding from the night before. Groaning, he lifted himself off of a dusty, concrete floor. Pressing his fingers to his temples, he tried to see through the darkness surrounding him, but he had no luck. Terror clawed at his chest as he realized that he had absolutely no idea where he was. Or who he was for that matter…

"Hello?" he called, hoping that someone would hear him. "Is anyone there?" And with that, light flooded in from the opposite side of the room.

"Like, Marsha?!!" Brittany screamed, as she started to hyperventilate. "He's… AWAKE!" Then like a thousand fingernails screeching across a chalkboard, dozens of other girls started whooping and hollering caught up in the joy that was Stanton.

"Like O mi GAWD!"

"Is he really awake?"

"I wanna feel his hair!"

"I wanna touch his (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)"

Stanton, realizing that no matter who he was, this had to be bad, began to dodge around the room, feeling for an exit.

Their chants began to get closer. "STANTON! STANTON!"

Realizing that there was no way out, he began to tear at the walls, which was stupid and had absolutely no affect on his situation.

They were at the doorway now. "STANTON! STANTON!"

After a few broken nails and splinters, Stanton realized that he was defeated. And then, cowering in a corner, Stanton began to cry like the baby he was. Seeing this and being as demented as they were, they were even more turned on. Realizing that his crying routine wasn't working but only making him look like a wimp, he jumped up and simply backed against the wall.

"Now girls…"

And with the sound of his voice, masses of teenagers (and an old woman or two), ran for him.

"AGH!" he screamed, as hundreds of hands ran over every inch of his body.

"Brittany!" screamed one of the Stanton- crazed girls. "Cut the light on! I totally can't see".

"Oh, right", Brittany said, and after reluctantly taking her hands off Stanton, she clapped them together, twice.

Suddenly, Stanton snapped back. He knew what had happened, who he was, and that he definitely wasn't about to be raped by tons of little girls. Then with a thought, every girl (and older woman) went staggering back against the walls. That was it. This Ewing person was definitely on the list with Ronald now. Brushing his hair back, he began to take in the room around him, impressed at what he saw. It was like looking in a mirror. Posters of him covered every wall. There were a few pictures of Serena with darts stuck through them. Shaking his head and then laughing to himself, he started towards the door from which the fan girls had entered, when someone stepped into the doorway. Recognition sprung across his face when he realized who it was.

"You?!" he eyed her angrily and then tried to lower his tone. He actually felt sorry for her as he laid eyes on her revealing, yet unbelievably ugly wedding dress.

"Oh, Stanton!" she sighed, as she slipped her arms around him. He started to resist when she interrupted.

"Oh" she frowned at the lights on the ceiling. "I almost forgot". And with a clap of her hands, he could feel himself slipping. He struggled, and then losing his last grip on reality, sunk back into the unknown.

"Where am I?" he asked. "Who are you?"

"Oh, Stanton!" The woman put him in a bear hug.

"Can't… breathe" He was turning as blue as the circles under her eyes. Suddenly, there was a moan from across the room, and Marsha emerged from the shadows.

"Like, Cassandra!"

"You will address me as 'Madame Cassandra'", Cassandra scolded her as Stanton passed out in her arms.

"Like, whateveeeeeeer", she smacked on her gum. "He doesn't like you anywaaaaaay!"

Cassandra gasped as if she didn't know. "He does too!"

"You wish! I totally read book four".

"Book fiiiiiive, Marsha", a solemn Brittany stepped out from the darkness and shook her head. "It was book fiiiiive".

Suddenly, Marsha's face went pale. "No", she shuddered. "It can't be".

"Oh, but it can Marsha"

"Like, how could you Marsha?"

"Children today", an old woman muttered from the back of the room.

"Marshaaaaa…" started Brittany. "You will turn over your crown. You are no longer a member of the Totally Stanton Club".

The girl looked as if she could die as she pulled out her Burger King hat from her pocket and tremblingly, placed it in Brittany's palm.

Brittany nodded and with a single tear, she pointed to the open doorway. "You are dismissed".

"… LIKE NOOOOOOOOOO!" Marsha latched on to Brittany's feet and began to slobber all over them like an idiot.

"Hey! THOSE ARE MY NEW K.SWISS YA BITCH!" and with that, she sent her best friend sailing out of the doorway.

"BUMMER!" Marsha stood up and then ran off to kill herself.

"Glad that's over", Cassandra sighed as she ran a brush through her wispy, maroon hair. "How do I look?"

Brittany just stared at her, unable to tell her the truth. She was never brushing her hair in the dark. That was for sure.

"Well?" Cassandra asked, striking a pose and almost tripping over her wedding dress.

"Uh", Brittany gasped. "Stellar?"

Cassandra beamed. "I know! This'll be perfect". She clasped her hands together, and Stanton sat up rubbing his head. Immediately realizing who she was, he dodged at her.

"Cassandra-"

"Oops" she clapped her hands together as quickly as she could, and Stanton rammed into a wall.

"Owie… Wha? Who am I?" He spotted Cassandra.

"That's better", she crooned as he stumbled towards her.

"Are you my mommy?"

Uh oh.