Part Fourteen – Those who count

'So, tomorrow's the big day, huh?' Jodi said awkwardly, trying to break the silence. As usual she had unintentionally just brought up the one thing I did NOT want to talk about. The magistrate review.

'Guess so.' I answered, sighing.

'Are you going to have to talk?'

'Yep.'

'Do you know what you're going to say?'

'Nope.'

Conversation over.

It was strange, we had run out of things to talk about. Usually Jodi and I can go on for hours, talking about absolutely everything. She seemed to be keeping her guard up; obviously Mum had talked to her.

Mum had visited once. We'd had a long talk, and a bit of a cry. Well, on my part, anyway. Mum rarely cries. In fact, the last time I remember her crying (before the accident, that is), was when Alex left Drover's after the divorce, and even then it wasn't a big sob fest, just a few tears in her eyes. Made of metal, my mum and Alex.

Speaking of the devil, Alex and I just aren't the same. We used to be almost inseparable, before Marion came along and we had to share him. But even after that we'd always been able to chat and he's so great at sorting out problems. Now, though…I don't know, I still couldn't bring myself to forgive him for the comment in the lounge room that day.

That day. Sounds like that song. That day, that day. Okay, that's really lame, Charlotte. Gosh, can you tell how bored I am?

'Hey Jodi.' I said suddenly, remembering she was there. She looked up at me keenly; it was the first time I'd made conversation since she arrived.

'What do you think of Alex?' I watched her. Her reaction was one of surprise.

'Alex?' she said slowly. 'Well, he's, you know…Alex.' She shrugged.

'Yeah, but what do you THINK of him?'

'Well, he's a nice guy. And I suppose he's funny, as well – most of the time. Look Charlotte, where is this going?'

'I don't know.' I said unhappily. 'I used to think that too. I used to love him so much! But now it's like…he's got Mum, and Mum's got him, and they've got Marion, and they don't need me anymore. Especially not this version of me.' I nodded at my leg.

'Is that really what you think?' Jodi said, her tone changing. She moved closer to me, and looked me straight in the eyes.

'Charlotte, Alex loves you.' She stressed the last part. 'And so does your Mum! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? It doesn't matter if you're not Alex's biological child! Have you seen the way he looks at you? His eyes just light up when he sees you, and all the while you were growing up you were always Alex's little girl.'

'But then why did he…why did he say those things about me?' I continued, my eyes brimming with tears. I had told Jodi of how Alex hadn't seemed to care for me that night, and how that had been part of my decision to run away.

'He's a bloke!' She threw up her hands. 'Charlotte, they're all like that, even Alex. You say you're fine, he believes it, no questions asked. You could be standing there bawling your eyes out, but he'd still take your word for it.'

'He was just to busy with Mum to realise.' I muttered. 'They're always too busy to notice.'

'Come on, Charlotte, give them a break. They've been divorced for what, six years? And you're complaining because the second day after they got back together they didn't want to get out of bed?'

I was beginning to feel very, very small. Jodi was squashing my theories hard and square. She had a reason for everything I put forward, and I was starting to realise maybe I was the one in the wrong.

'But, well…' I trailed off. 'I've been really stupid, haven't I?' I looked at her for the first time. She hesitated, but gave a little nod.

'Maybe just a bit. A teeny bit. By no means was it your fault; I just think you've had a bit of a communication error happening. And that's the other thing – just because you can't do everything you used to, doesn't mean we don't love you every bit as much. But I do want to see the old Charlotte. The positive Charlotte, you know, the happy one?'

I gave a small smile.

'Come on Charls, I thought I taught you better than that!' Jodi rolled her eyes. My teeny smile broke into a fully fledged grin, and she laughed and gave me a hug.

'That's better.'

We chatted for a while longer, both feeling a little more lighthearted, until Alex knocked at the door.

'Ladies.' He tipped his had and leant against the door frame. I pulled away from Jodi uncertainly. She gave me an encouraging look.

'We were just talking about you.' She said amicably to Alex. 'Oof! Ah – sorry.' She apologized as I elbowed her in the ribs. 'Right. My bad. I might just go and get some lunch, shall I? Leave you two to talk.' She left quickly.

There was an awkward silence, until we both started talking at the same time.

'Look, Charlotte.'

'Alex, I just want to-'

We broke off sheepishly, and I nodded at him to keep talking.

'Look, I know I've really buggered it up this time, haven't I? And I'm really sorry Charlotte, you have no idea how bad I feel. It's killing me seeing you like this, I feel like it's completely my fault. But I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'm here for you if you want me. Do you think we can be friends again? I'll understand if you say no.' He ducked his head, but he glanced in my direction for a second, waiting.

'Alex, you don't have to apologize. It's not your fault. You didn't tell me to run away, did you? No. That was me, not you. So don't worry about it.' I looked at him, meaning it.

'And I just wanted to say sorry…for being such a pain. You didn't deserve it.' I finished. I clambered over to him best I could and crawled into his lap, just like I had done when I was a little girl. He smiled at me.

'I'm glad we're sorted out then. I've missed talking to you, Kiddo.' He gave me a bear hug.

'This is really good, Alex, I finally feel like I'm starting to get back on track.' I said, talking to him openly. We'd both had enough of the mushy stuff and it seemed we were back to being mates. Which I was quite glad about, to be honest.

'Yeah.' He said. 'Yeah, nearly.'

'Nearly?' I frowned. 'What do you mea- oh.' I said dully, remembering the magistrate's review. 'Right. Forgot about that.'

'We'll get through it.' He promised, patting my arm. 'Don't you worry, I'll take care of him.'

That was the part I was afraid of.