This is my first story on here. I hope you all like it. It's me and my best friend's attempt at humor. The acutal first chapter that we had written out was over forty notebook pages llong. So I seperated it into even smaller portions. This was only three and a half pages long. I will post more chapters on as soon as I seperate and type them.

Chapter One: Found

Over a hill came three horses. Two were salt and pepper colored. And the third was a pure snow white. All three horses were carrying a rider and a passenger each. One salt and pepper colored horse was carrying a middle aged looking man and a younger woman.

The man was a scraggly looking man with a close shaven beard and moustache. He had a well chiseled face. His shoulder length, medium brown hair was rather greasy and looked as if it hadn't seen water in months. His weapon that he carried unconcealed was a double bladed sword.

The passenger was a young looking woman approximately between the ages of eighteen and twenty-one. She had blue tinted black hair that was long in the front, but slanted upwards towards the back. The back of her hair was all messy looking and spiked out. She was wearing heavy black and purple make-up around the eyes with dark maroon lipstick. Her eyebrow was pierced, as was her lip two times, her nose, and many times in both ears. Her dress was a black crush velvet that was rather low cut and flowed down to her feet

On the second salt and pepper colored horse, there was also a man and a woman. The man was more of an elf like creature with long, waist-length, blonde hair and pointed ears. His outfit consisted of an emerald green cape and pants. He also had a forest green pullover shirt.

His passenger was a fairly blonde woman with glasses. Her hair was waist length and straight. It was a light blonde and the underneath layer was a light brown. She had a pierced eyebrow and pierced lip. Her dress was a black cotton dress and was rather tattered and torn at the bottom. She looked primly around the age of eighteen or nineteen.

The third horse, which was the pure snow white one, was carrying two men. The rider of the horse was an elderly looking man with a pure white beard and waist length hair. His pure snow white robes swept to the floor while walking.

His passenger was a man about the same age as the second female. He had an outfit which mimicked the elf's, except for color. His was a deep and midnight blue, rather than a forest and emerald green. His dirty blond hair was down to his shoulders.

Previously, all three passengers were passed out. But they started to come around and survey what surroundings they could. The fair blonde woman was the first one to come around.

"What the…"

The elven man turned around and silenced her.

"Shhh… We're almost there. About another five minutes."

She wrapped her arms around him tighter for her own feeling of security. She closed her eyes. She wanted to sleep again then wake up where she was before.

Now, the man and the other woman were coming around. The man did not care where he was, all he knew that it was exciting, so he kept quiet. But the woman did not seem to like it at all, for she started to scream, rather loudly, obscenities. The man, rather quickly, stopped his horse and got off. He picked up and took the woman off the horse as well. She didn't seem to like that too much

"Who in the bluest of fucking hell do you think you are? What the fuck am I doing here and why the fuck am I here? Can you tell me that, you fucking pop-tart boi?"

"May I ask, why are thee talking in a foreign language, ma'am? I am here to bring thee from one point, where we found thee, to another point, where we happen to be going."

"I'm talking English you fucking momo. I don't know what language you think I'm talking in, or better yet, what the hell kind of language are you talkin' in? In any case, who the hell are you, and why are you here, and why the fuck do you have me?"

"My name is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, ma lady."

"Hmmm… Such the gentleman, now aren't you? Well, the name's Roxanne. But everyone either calls me Rockie or Roxy."

"I think I like thy name of Rockie. It makesthy sound, how should I say, tougher."

Aragorn got upon his horse. He held his hand out to help Rocky up. She gracefully accepted the gesture and got upon the horse.

"So what are you trying to say? I'm not tough? I could kick that fucking blonde guy's ass in a second, dude."

"Legolas? I do not think so. He happens to be a three thousand year old elf…"

"Oh, so he's easily broken then?"

"Not quite. He's rather quite strong. He knows all of the mortal tricks and mortal fight tactics by now."

"I bet he wouldn't know what to do if I flashed him though, now would he?"

"What tis this 'flashing' thatthy speak of?"

"Never mind. You aren't as bright as I though you mother fucker."

"Also about the part ofthou name that I choose to call thee, no, I did not mean that either. All I meant was that it's a tougher name for people to knowledge."

"Oh, jeeze thanks. Yeah, make ME sound weak you fucker. How about I call you Murderbitch. That's a tough ass name for you, ya know!"

"That's not what I meant at all…"

Rockie and Aragorn continued to 'playfully' argue back and forth the whole way there.