Chapter Two of the storyness. One word: teletubbies!

Meanwhile, the other two horses and the four people arrived at the destination, The Shire.

The elven man got off of his horse, and then he helped the woman off. The elder man got off his horse, but he left his passenger on the horse of get off by himself.

"Oh thanks you fuckers. Fuck you all." The blonde passenger stuck up his middle finger, and then got off the horse.

"Well, here we are. We are in The Shire now. Here the hobbits are aplenty and very hospitable." The elf turned to the elder man. The man nodded. "Maybe we should introduce ourselves. My name is Legolas Greenleaf. I am a three thousand year old elf."

"A damn fine one too," the woman mumbled to herself looking him over, from head to toe.

"This is the great white wizard, Gandalf The White."

"Yeah, Gandalf the white ass!" The blonde man remarked to himself. The woman elbowed him hard in the stomach.

"Ow! What the fuck dude?"

She looked at him with contempt and smiled, "It's not nice to make fun!"

Legolas looked at them both quizzically. "What did he say?"

"See, he didn't even hear me, so there!" The man stuck his tongue out at her very childishly.

The woman just rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever."

"Now that you have learned who we are, and the possibility that you have made inappropriate remarks about us, the new question is, who art thou?" Legolas said as he bowed.

The woman giggled. "SHAKESPEAR!!! In any case. The name's Jenny or Jen. And this asshole here is Tom."

"Well, Jenny, Tom, welcome to The Shire! I think you will rather enjoy it here. We do very much so."

"Hey, wait. There's something missing here…" Jen said scratching her head.

"Yes, your brain." Tom said sniggering.

"Oh, yes. I know that. Ah, how I miss it so… "Jen paused to stare blankly at Tom, and then she continued.

"But it's not that. It's something that usually isn't missing… Hmm…"

After she had spoken, Rockie and Aragorn came riding up on his horse, still "'playfully' arguing.

"Hey, if you're gonna call me a weak fucker, then I will be."

"I did not use those or words, nor for the fact, I am not saying that at all. All I'm saying is…"

This is Aragorn, yes it tis. Whom is his friend, is what I want to know." Legolas said looking at them inquisitively.

"This so happens to be my best friend, Rockie." Jen said.

"Actually, it's Roxanne." Rockie added. Although I do prefer Rockie, the fucking mofo here makes me sound weak. I'm never going to a bar with him. He'd fucking get people all up in my face for no shittin' reason. I can see it now. I really can." Rockie sighed.

"That's not what I was saying, m'lady." Aragorn started.

"What-the-fuck-ever." Rockie said rolling her eyes.

'What does this word 'fuck' mean? This 'Rockie' woman seems to use it quite often." Gandalf asked.

Rockie, Jen and Tom all burst out laughing at the same time.

"Are you fucking kidding me? That's hilarious. I'm not even going to bother explaining it. It's definitely not worth it. It's a lot worse than trying to argue about my name!" Rockie said almost choking. "Oh, but on a much more serious side, where the hell are we?"

"This is The Shire, home of the hobbits. My name is Legolas and this is Gandalf the White."

"Oh!!! This sounds like an infomercial. What are we selling today cap'n?" Rockie asked rather amused, but Legolas just looked confused. Rockie sighed at his lack of knowledge of current affairs.

Legolas, Aragorn, and Gandalf took their horses and started walking them and Jen, Rockie and Tom followed them.

It was a very weird sight for all three of the new frontiers. Many of the house were halfway underground and halfway above ground.

"This reminds me of two completely different things." Rockie said to Tom and Jen. "One, that age old question, 'is the glass half empty or half full?' and…"

All three of them looked at each other. Tom and Jen knew exactly what Rockie was thinking.

"TELETUBBIES!!!!!" They all yelled at once. Rockie and Jen started jumping up and down in a circle around Tom.

"What are 'teletubbies'?" Aragorn asked.

"Nothing you mother fucker!!!!" Rockie said to him and Jen and Tom laughed. Aragorn looked surprised and saddened all at the same time. Then he turned and continued onward.

They also noticed small creatures.

"Oooooo!! What are these?!?!" Jen asked unknowingly.

"I guess those are the hobbits. They said there are a plenty." Rockie said.

"No, those are flowers." Legolas commented.

"Oh. If they're not hobbits, then what ARE hobbits?" Jen asked.

Just then, they came around a corner and they saw midget-like creatures, except with hairy feet, and a rather science fiction looking creature.

Jen ran up to the sci-fi looking one.

"Are you a hobbit? If you are, you're hott!"

"JEN!!!!!!!!!!!" Tom yelled. Obviously he was jealous of that deformed looking creature.

"What?!?!?!" She walked back over to where Tom was.

"No, that's Gollum. He used to be a hobbit, but we are quite unsure of what he is now. We just call him Gollum. The other two beside him are hobbits." Legolas said.

"Yes. Those hobbits there are Sam and Pippin." Gandalf added. "Good evening Sam, Pippin, and Gollum. Do you mind if we come into your house for a cup of afternoon tea?"

Rockie and Jen looked hopeful.

"Not at all," mumbled Sam.

"Yah!!! We get to visit the Teletubbies house minus the actual Teletubbies. But hey, I'm not complaining." Rockie said as her and Jen started clapping with excitement.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf all tied their horses at a stake by the hobbit 'hut'. All three of them followed Sam, Pippin and Gollum into the house. Tom, Jen, and Rockie looked at each other and just shrugged their shoulders, then went inside themselves.