John couldn't concentrate on anything he did. He couldn't stop thinking about Emma and he hated it. He wished he could just forget about her and move on. She had. Running off had proved that to him, Emma didn't need him anymore. If he could only ask for one thing from the whole thing, he would of wanted to know what her big secret was, because that seemed to be the key to everything else. It seemed that was wishing for too much. John wondered where she was, probably with her family and if John had any idea where he family where he'd be there. But he didn't. One of her many little mysteries. Anyway, what kind of relationship could they have had if she kept simple things from him? Plus, she didn't love him. It was all too messed up, he should have been glad she was gone, no more complications. He could just get on with his life, and that was all he wanted, and if he kept telling himself that he might start to believe it.

It was unhealthy, it really was and she knew it. Holding onto the past like that was wrong, she couldn't help it. If she had more courage, more guts she'd have told John everything. But she was a coward. Ryan had threatened to kill her of she didn't stop laying 'Nothing compares 2 u', Emma was now switching between that and 'It must have been love', just to even it up. Helen liked to wonder out loud why Emma was there is the first place, all her scenarios seemed to involve drugs in some way. She was getting harder to block out. Ryan had taken her out the night before with her eldest brother Rob and practically threw her one some random guy. She wasn't interested, she just wanted John and she couldn't have him so she didn't want anyone at all. In a few months she might feel different, but that was ahead of her and when she felt so and it was hard to think about that. Emma was sitting outside on the step watching Ryan attempt to fix his bike and failing miserably. She had no idea what she would of done without all of her brothers growing up? Maybe she could go stay with one of the others, sure they all had girlfriends, but anything, and she meant anything would be better then staying with Helen. She found it very hard to believe they had the same genes.

"I don't want to be here at all." Emma thought.

She had no choice, after all what was she going to do? Run back to John, tell him the truth and face the consequences? No way.

"Emma, are you alright?" Ryan called.

"No." she replied.

"Why? What's up?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Really? Try me."

Emma thought for a second and then she did.

"I lied to someone I loved. He asked me to marry him and I turned him down and came here."

Ryan stopped cleaning some part of the bike and looked at his sister.

"You didn't."

"I did."

"Why? Because you're officially insane? You turned down someone you love to come here?"

"You make it sound so insignificant." Emma told him

Ryan shook his head again. "Why did you lie?"

The words where right there in her head and although she didn't say them she could imagine:

"Well Ryan, it all started when I was 18, naive and had ran away from home...."

The messages of John's phone was off Cassidy, five simple words that made is heart slame and made him feels lightly sick. The back story of the message didn't matter, he didn't want to know incase he jinxed it.

'I kno where Emma is'