It felt like Crane was in hell. Not only the hell of his mental anguish over Harley's potentially fatal situation, which he felt responsible for, but also as he ran through the impenetrable industrial maze, the hissing steel and steam works of the factory, toward the relentless and labyrinthine system of conveyor belts leading towards the flaming inferno that baked the molded chocolate in a huge, fire-blasting oven, followed by an unwanted and dangerously unstable admirer, and the Joker. It seemed like hell would probably be something like this.

At last, he spotted Harley – she was bound tightly and struggling furiously, lying on a conveyer belt on its way to the oven, which had pillars of flame erupting from inside it every few seconds. Once she went in there, she wouldn't be coming out alive.

Crane knew he couldn't get to her in time, and looked about wildly for some kind of emergency stop button. "Doesn't this damn factory have any emergency features?!" he shouted. "I thought they were meant to be legally required for health and safety reasons!"

"Nah, not in Gotham," said Joker, shaking his head. "You want an emergency feature, you gotta create one yourself."

With that, he promptly seized Crane's hand and shoved it into the conveyer belt machinery, causing it to jam. Crane howled in pain as Joker shouted, "Keep it in there until I've got Harley – hopefully I can get to her before it shatters your hand!"

Joker raced toward Harley as Crane tried to overcome the urge to rip his hand out of the excruciating pain it was in. Lindsay, however, wouldn't let him suffer, nor would she let her intentions toward Harley be foiled. She wrenched his hand free of the machinery, and it started up again.

"You're such a wimp, Craney!" shouted Joker. "What was that, like two seconds?!"

"I didn't remove it voluntarily!" snapped Crane.

Harley had managed to wriggle to the edge of the conveyer belt, and rolled off it. This didn't improve her situation, however, as she merely dropped a few feet onto a different conveyer belt leading to a machine which would stamp the chocolate. Several metallic arms pounded down onto the conveyer belt, and Harley shut her eyes, preparing for death.

Joker managed to seize her before she could be crushed, by climbing onto a neighboring conveyer belt. Unfortunately, this one was going in the opposite direction from hers, and he very quickly lost his grip on her, dropping her onto another conveyer belt which led to the machine which ground up the cocoa beans. "Why is everything in this factory a goddamn deathtrap?!" shrieked Harley, as she approached the massive shredder.

"I got you, sweets!" exclaimed Joker, seizing her before she was dragged inside. He hoisted her over the machine, but suddenly lost his footing, and Harley screamed as she fell back onto the conveyer belt heading into the oven. She tried to roll away from it as a blast of fire shot out of it.

"If you want to save her, stick your hand back in there, Craney!" roared Joker, as he scrambled to reach Harley.

"No, I've got a better idea!" retorted Crane, seizing Lindsay's hand and shoving it into the machinery. She screamed, struggling desperately to rip it out, but Crane kept her hand trapped in the machine.

Joker reached Harley, grabbing her and dragging her off the conveyer belt and onto the factory floor. It was only when they were both safely away from the oven that Crane released Lindsay's arm, and she wrenched her hand free. Several finger bones were clearly broken, but she seemed more angry than pained as she glared at Crane.

"You lied to me!" she hissed. "You never wanted to see Harley's terror at her own death! You just wanted to save her!"

"Of course I did!" he shouted. "What in God's name would make you think that I'd love you if you murdered her?! For a woman who claims to be my soulmate, you don't seem to know me at all!"

"I know that you're the perfect man for me, and you'll realize that once you're released from her spell," retorted Lindsay.

"And so you're willing to completely disregard my feelings in order to make me into your perfect man?!" roared Crane. "You can't love me if you act like that! That's not love – that's some weird, obsessive, controlling behavior which tries to mold people into an ideal that can never be realized! Love is about accepting people for who they are, not for who you want them to be! Don't you know anything about love?!"

"I know as much about it as a man who wastes his life with a woman who will never truly love him back!" shouted Lindsay. "Can't you understand that, Dr. Crane?! That woman can never love you like I can!"

Crane watched Joker cut Harley free from the ropes, and she threw herself into his arms, sobbing. "No," Crane murmured. "She can't. But if you thought murdering her was going to warm my feelings toward you, you are sadly mistaken."

"It's for your own good!" she retorted. "You're so much better than someone like her!"

Crane said nothing, coming over to where Harley was sobbing in Joker's arms. "Are you all right, Harley?" he asked. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"I'm ok," she said, wiping her eyes. "Just a little singed," she added, feeling for her eyebrows, which had been burned off.

"That's ok, pooh – we'll draw 'em back on for your Buttercup costume," said Joker, patting her head.

Harley smiled at him. "Yeah, and they'll grow back eventually. But how did this all happen? The last thing I remember is hanging that skeleton…"

"You were attacked by Lindsay," said Crane. "She tied you up and put you on the conveyer belt."

"Lindsay? Why?" asked Harley, puzzled. "I ain't done nothing to her."

"She thinks you have," replied Crane. "She thinks you stole my affections away from her."

"Why would she think that?" asked Harley. "Don't tell me she believes these stupid rumors about us sleeping together?"

"I told you it was a good thing I killed Pauli, pooh – that rumor was already being spread around enough, and I didn't want him to add to it," said Joker.

"But you must have told her it was nonsense, right, Johnny?" asked Harley, turning to him. "Didn't she believe you?"

"No, I…told her it was true," admitted Crane, slowly. "I thought it would be a good way to let her down gently, if she thought I was already attached…"

"So to let her down gently, you sullied my reputation by claiming I would cheat on Mr. J," said Harley, frowning at him. "That's a pretty crap way to treat a friend, Johnny. Why would you put her feelings above my own?"

"I didn't, I just…wasn't thinking straight," stammered Crane. "And I just thought...about what you said earlier, about how impressed everyone would be if they thought I could attract two women…people would think I was worthy of respect, rather than just being the loser I am…"

"So this is my fault, is that what you're saying?" demanded Harley. "Way to blame the victim there, Johnny!"

"No, I'm not blaming you, I was just explaining why I acted like a total idiot because of my own insecurities…" began Crane.

"You're a shrink, Johnny!" snapped Harley. "You're meant to be aware of your own insecurities, and have enough self-awareness not to act on them! I always thought you were wise enough not to do that – that's why I always thought you were such a great mentor! But now I see you're just like everybody else!"

Her words were like a dagger in his heart. "Harley, please…I'm so sorry!" he stammered, taking her hand.

She pulled her hand out of his grip, glaring at him as she cuddled against the Joker. "I think I'm done with the temp job, Mr. J," she said, firmly.

Joker smiled triumphantly at Crane. "I knew you'd get sick of working for the pathetic nerd sooner rather than later, pumpkin pie," he cooed, kissing her cheek. "Do I know my Harley girl or what?"

Crane didn't know how to respond, but he didn't have to. "You see it now, don't you, Dr. Crane?" said Lindsay, appearing suddenly. "She was never going to stay with you. She never deserved you. And now she's rejected you. But I'm here, and I always will be here, to make the pain go away."

She reached toward his wounded hand with her broken one. "But love is pain," she murmured. "The course of true love never did run smooth. And I think we both know love is worth suffering for."

"Yes," agreed Crane. "I think we both know that."

Lindsay gasped suddenly as she felt something stick into her wrist. She gazed at Crane in horror as he withdrew the syringe formerly full of fear gas from her arm.

"You…how could…you…" she stammered, betrayal in her tear-filled eyes. Betrayal that quickly turned to blind panic because of the huge amount of fear gas directly injected into her veins. "No!" she screamed, reaching out toward him as her vision grew darker. "No, you can't leave me! I can't be left alone! I can't!"

She screamed, running around the factory desperately seeking him, but in her mind, she could see only emptiness and darkness. "You can't leave me alone!" she shrieked. "I don't want to die alone!"

At last, she saw a light and ran toward it…but the light in her mind was the fire of the oven in reality, and she ran straight in. She didn't even have time to scream before the blast of fire incinerated her completely.

"Oh, there'll be a hot time in the old town tonight!" sang Joker. "Yeah, that's a much better joke than the tasting funny one!" he chuckled.

Harley didn't say anything except, "Good riddance. C'mon, Mr. J, let's go home," she said, standing up and taking his hand. She didn't look back at Crane once as she and Joker left the factory together.

Crane hadn't reacted to the scene at all, except to replace the syringe on his glove. "I suppose Lindsay was right," he commented at last. "We had a lot in common, after all. We both shared the same fear anyway."