Author's Note: Yep, I'm late updating, as usual. But this time, at least I have a more specific excuse - I got COVID! But I'm over it now. I've managed to get the rest of this chapter down, and I swear it's not a cliffhanger this time. :)

The two seconds Jane took to stamp out the log book fire were the longest of her life. The whole time, her eyes were glued to the fallen body of her husband, sprawled under Shapiro's. Shapiro had pulled a box full of child-sized clothing down off a nearby shelf during the struggle, and now all she could see were bodies and legs. Unmoving.

Oh, god, what if I killed him? How can I live with myself? What can I ever say to Bethany? To Sarah and Sawyer? How can I live without him?

Jane had taken her shot carefully, but just as she'd pulled the trigger, Tommy had come from nowhere, slamming into Kurt and Shapiro like a determined, miniature football player. And Kurt…Kurt had jerked straight into the path of her bullet.

Blood and grey matter had misted into the air, so she knew she'd made a head shot—but things had moved too fast for her to be sure which man she'd hit.

With a quick glance down to make sure the flames really were extinguished, she—finally—lurched over to where the two men had fallen, bile rising in her throat. Nearby, Tommy was curled around his injured arm, wailing with pain and shock, but he'd have to wait. She had to know if her husband was alive.

"Kurt. Kurt!"

She brushed aside fabric, ignoring the bright spots that danced across her vision, the tightness in her chest. She'd breathe when she knew the truth.

Kurt groaned, shifted, and a sob tore from her throat, jubilant and hysterical.

Alive. He's alive. Oh, thank god…

As she rolled Shapiro's dead weight off him, her husband opened his beautiful eyes, frowning up at her in slightly dazed concern. As he struggled to lift himself up on his elbows, Jane cradled his head in her hands. Blood flecked his skin and hair, but he wasn't wounded. She let her fingers rove over his skull, verifying that the bullet had hit Shapiro, not Kurt.

"Jane… It's okay. I'm okay. I just passed out for a second, but I'm fine."

She gasped for air, hating that she was losing control when he'd been the one who'd almost been killed. "I thought I…"

"Shhh…" He sat up and pulled her into a hug, warm and reassuring. "I'm right here."

For a few seconds more, she clung to him, savouring the feel of his pulse beneath her fingertips. Alive. Alive.

"Come on," he said gently, giving her a small nudge to punctuate the words. "We're scaring the kid."

Jane's world widened abruptly, the bigger picture once more asserting itself. Tommy's whimpering. The footsteps of reinforcements belatedly arriving. Tasha's voice calling their names.

She wasn't ready to let go of Kurt, but they still had work to do, and Tommy needed her.

"Okay," she murmured, reluctantly sitting back. "You fill in the team. I'll take Tommy."

He nodded, and together they climbed to their feet. After a quick squeeze of her hand, Kurt headed towards Zapata and Reade.

Jane draped a child's tee over Shapiro's head, hiding the exit wound in the side of his skull. The CSU techs might give her hell over it later, but she'd be damned if she let a four-year-old be any more traumatised than he already was.

Then she crouched beside Tommy, careful not to scare him further by touching him. "Tommy, hey. It's me."

He cringed back from her—probably because he knew she'd just shot a man in the head. She wasn't sure how much of it he'd seen, but she was hoping his diminutive height, combined with his close proximity when the bullet had hit, meant he wouldn't have seen the worst part.

"You've been so brave, and now my friends are here to help. So I can take you to your daddy right now, okay? He's waiting for you."

Tommy looked up at her, his eyes filled with hope and fear. "Right now?"

Please don't let me be lying about this. "Right now."

Breaking out into fresh tears, Tommy took the hand she offered, and she helped him up. Then she carefully lifted him onto her hip, gritting her teeth for a moment as she adjusted to his weight, and carried him over to the others.

"This little guy needs his dad. Where are the parents waiting?"

Zapata and Reade exchanged a glance, then Tasha stepped back. "I'll get you there."

"I'll be back as soon as we've gotten him out," Jane said, knowing they had debriefing to do. "The log book with most of the information on the trafficking ring is over there, but I tore out some pages, because I knew I'd have to set it on fire. I left them under the desk in the office."

"Got it," Reade said, and reached out to Jane as she took a step in Zapata's direction. "Glad you're safe."

She managed an exhausted smile. "Thanks. Me, too."

Jane and Zapata took the stairs up to the main floor of the warehouse, and hesitated on the other side of the door.

"You might wanna get him to close his eyes or something," Tasha murmured.

Jane winced. "Right." Walking a child out into the aftermath of a SWAT raid was hardly ideal, but they didn't have an alternate route to follow. They'd have to go right through the scene of the firefight.

"Hey, Tommy," she said softly. "I want you to close your eyes, okay? Snuggle your head into my shoulder like this, until we get outside."

The poor kid was too weary to put up a fight, pressing his face against Jane's neck. "My arm hurts," he mumbled.

"I know, buddy. Just a little bit longer now. You're being so brave."

Some of the deaths Jane had been responsible for weighed on her conscience. Shapiro's, however…that was one shot she'd never regret taking.

At least, now I know the bullet didn't hit Kurt.

Hoping Tommy wouldn't feel her shudder, she brushed off the memory and nodded at Zapata. "Let's go."

Moving at a brisk pace, they walked through the warehouse, which was a partially-flooded mess. There were more bodies than Jane had expected—evidently most of the traffickers had fought until the end, choosing death over arrest and incarceration.

"Keep your eyes closed, Tommy."

"I am." He sounded cranky, which made her smile, despite herself. After the week he'd had, she didn't blame him.

"Did we take any casualties?" she asked Zapata, as they skirted Niles' body.

Kurt. Kurt was nearly a casualty.

"Three injured, I think. They'll pull through." Her friend shot her a concerned glance. "Are you okay? You look kinda pale."

Jane tried a smile, but knew it wouldn't fool anyone. "It's been a rough few days."

Outside the warehouse, a light drizzle was falling. An ambulance stood with its back doors open, its paramedics checking over a couple of agents, and Jane wondered if she should take Tommy over to them.

But she'd made a promise, and she couldn't betray it.

"The car's over this way. We intercepted the rest of the kids at the other end of the tunnel, but we left the parents about a half-mile down the road, so they wouldn't—" Zapata began.

"Tommy!"

At the frantic call of his name, Tommy whipped around in Jane's arms so hard that she almost dropped him. " Dad! Daddy!"

At the edge of the crime scene, a couple of dishevelled men argued with the NYPD officers standing guard. Jane couldn't blame them—in their position, she'd be acting exactly the same way.

"So they wouldn't do that," Zapata finished, sighing, then raised her voice. "It's okay, guys, let them through."

The two men stumbled under the police tape and ran towards them, and Jane lowered Tommy to the ground. The family reunited in a storm of tears and hugs, and Jane tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

She'd made so many awful mistakes in her life, and many more she couldn't even remember, but this… This was something she could be proud of. Reuniting a scared little boy with his dads, who'd clearly been out of their minds with fear this whole time. And even though she hadn't seen the reunions first-hand, she'd done the same thing for seven other kids.

All of the horror of the past three days had been worth it.

"Thank you," one of the guys said, scrubbing tears from his cheeks as he stepped towards Jane and Zapata. "I don't know what we can ever do to repay you, but I…" He shook his head, lost for words. "Just thank you, so much."

For the first time in days, Jane's smile was genuine. "You're welcome. His arm has a sprain, so he'll need the paramedics to take a look. But other than that…"

She couldn't bring herself to say he'd be fine, because she knew this would leave lasting scars on his psyche. But he was alive, and back with the parents who loved him. Those were the things that mattered most.

An hour later, they left the warehouse in the capable hands of the CSUs, and headed back to the NYO. Kurt had left his car a short distance away, down by the riverbank, and he drove carefully, fighting mental exhaustion.

Sarah and Sawyer's car accident seemed as though it had happened weeks ago, not days. Travelling to Portland to check on them, worrying that Roman had orchestrated their accident, then finding out about Jane's undercover mission…all of that had been stressful. Then Jane had ditched her comms. He'd had to figure out a way to infiltrate the warehouse, then get through the mission without their cover being compromised. He felt as though he'd run a mental marathon.

Jane seemed to be in far worse shape, though. As he drove, she leaned her head on his shoulder for comfort.

When they were almost there, he asked, "Need to talk about it?"

She sighed, keeping her head where it was. "Rain check? I'm scared I'll just fall to pieces if I try to think about it now."

He knew the feeling. "We just need to set everything out while it's fresh in our minds, and then we can go home. Both of us, back to our apartment."

Jane would only ever set foot in her rented place again to pick up her stuff, if he had his way about it.

She sat up straight as the turnoff for the NYO's underground parking came into view. "Can we… Would you mind if…if Avery stayed with us tonight? If she wants to, I mean. I know she's eighteen and not a little kid anymore, but this case, it's just…"

He reached for her hand. "I know. I'd want Bethany with us too, if that were possible."

Not for the first time, he fought his frustration that Allie had moved his child thousands of miles across the country. He just wanted to cradle his daughter in his arms, to reassure himself that she would never, ever suffer—not the way those poor kids at the warehouse had.

Jane nodded. "We'll video call as soon as we get home. Maybe Allie will be free to bring her over this weekend, if we tell her what happened."

"Yeah." He tried to hide his raw longing to see Bethany, knowing Jane had her own emotional burden to carry, without helping him with his. But as he pulled into their usual parking spot, he could tell he wasn't fooling her in the slightest.

"Hey." As he killed the engine, Jane rubbed at a spot just above his ear with her thumb, then carefully pulled something free of his hair. "Ugh. Hard to clean all this off without a shower. As much as I don't want to be apart from you, you should probably hit the gym showers before we start the paperwork."

Kurt nodded ruefully. "So should you. I think some Shapiro transferred from me to you when you hugged me."

Jane flipped down the passenger mirror and grimaced. "Showers, then paperwork, then home."

They headed wearily down to SIOC, making a beeline for the gym, which was empty. Usually, there was a lunchtime busy period, then a lull until mid-afternoon, when the early shift ended. They both hesitated near the doors to their respective locker rooms, loath to be apart even for a few minutes.

"Hang on a second?" Jane said, and pushed open the ladies' locker room door before he had time to respond. He could do nothing but blink, confused by the request.

Less than a minute later, she was back. Throwing him a quick smile, she taped a crude 'Do Not Enter' sign to the ladies' locker room door. "Come on. There's no one in here; we can shower together."

He nodded, any protest he might have made quelled by his need to stay by Jane's side. "Give me a second to grab my towel and a change of clothes."

The women's locker room smelled considerably better than the men's. Kurt glanced around curiously, noting the differences in the two rooms, then concentrated on peeling off his blood-misted shirt.

He'd cleaned up as much of his face and neck as he could in one of the warehouse's bathrooms, but there were patches he'd missed. He couldn't wait to shower away the rest of the case, and he could tell Jane felt the same. As they stripped naked, he cast a glance over her body, checking for bruises or injuries she might have been hiding from him. A little of the emotional pressure in his chest dissipated as he saw no cause for concern.

Things could have gone so badly. We're just lucky we both got out of there.

Jane stepped towards the back of the shower cubicle to let him under the spray of water. "Let me?" she asked, and reached for the shampoo.

He nodded, knowing she was still spooked from earlier. He'd never seen such raw terror on her face as she'd displayed the first second she'd pulled Shapiro's body off him.

While his wife gently lathered up his short hair, Kurt put himself in her shoes. Imagined himself taking a shot, hitting Jane by accident, cradling her lifeless body to his chest. It was too close to what he thought he'd done to Avery, and the heavy, familiar darkness crept in on him.

It didn't happen. Not with Avery, and not with Jane.

But Jane's silence betrayed just how terrified she'd been, and he hated how close she'd come to experiencing that same crushing guilt he'd carried with him for months, after Berlin.

"You okay?" he asked, as she encouraged him to tilt his head back to wash off the shampoo.

"No," she whispered, lifting her haunted gaze to his. Her hands trembled, and he knew it wasn't just because his body was between her and the hot water.

Kurt pulled her into a warm hug, ensuring the water cascaded over both of them. "It's over. We're out of there, and so are the kids."

"If you'd died—" Her words choked off on a sob, and he held her tighter, his own throat constricting.

"If that shot had hit me, it wouldn't have been your fault, Jane."

"Of course it would." Jane's voice was thick with anguish.

"No. I know you'd blame yourself, but I never would." He spoke from the heart. "If I know one thing about you, Jane, it's that you'd never risk my life. Not if there was any other choice. You were confident of that shot when you took it. What happened after you pulled the trigger was out of our hands."

Jane leaned back to look into his face, and the tears in her eyes made his soul ache. "I was so scared, Kurt. For those first few seconds after you both went down, it was like my whole life was over."

"I know. I wish you hadn't had to go through that." He kissed her gently. "Tomorrow, it'll all seem like a bad dream."

She nodded, sagging in his arms as though all the energy had flooded out of her. "I just want to go home."

Kurt clicked open the shampoo bottle and motioned for her to turn around. "We will. Very soon."

After their shower, they returned to SIOC, where they began to document the basic facts of their time undercover. Kurt just wanted to forget the whole thing had ever happened, but that was what made this moment so vital—he had to get down everything he'd learned, before his mind began to shroud the memory in protective fog.

He was attempting to recall the exact wording Shapiro had used while detailing the supply route, when the elevator chimed behind him. Kurt blanked it out, until a familiar voice cut through his concentration. "Jane!"

He looked up in time to watch Avery rush over to throw her arms around her mother. For a split second, Jane was too stunned to move, but then she embraced her daughter in return, closing her eyes.

Kurt couldn't help but smile a little. It seemed that the prospect of losing Jane had melted the last of Avery's reservations. Good. They need each other. Especially today.

"I'm okay. It's okay," Jane murmured, stroking her daughter's hair.

Avery drew back, tears in her eyes. "Don't ever do that to me again. I already lost my parents. I can't lose you, too."

"I'll try my best." Kurt knew Jane's promise was sincere—just as he knew she wouldn't think twice about running into the next dangerous situation that came along. It was just the way she was wired, and Avery would have to learn to accept that, just as Kurt had.

Avery turned to Kurt, holding out her arms a little more hesitantly. "You brought her back, just like you said you would."

He took the offered hug, touched. It wasn't the same as hugging Bethany, but it did ease that fiercely protective instinct a little. "She brought herself home. I just backed her up."

"Well, either way… Thank you." She stepped back, looking a little awkward now.

Jane laid a hand on Avery's shoulder. "I was gonna call you when we got home. How did you know we were back?"

"Agent Patterson called." Avery scowled. "Next time, I want to know you're okay, the second you're safe. I was worried."

Jane nodded ruefully. "I'm sorry. It's been a long few days, and I'm not thinking straight. I should have called sooner."

"Okay. I can understand that, I guess. Was it bad?"

Better not to get into that now.

Kurt cleared his throat. "We're almost done with this paperwork, and then we're going home. Do you want to come with? Have dinner with us tonight?"

Avery nodded. "Sure. If that's okay with you guys."

Behind Avery, Jane cast a grateful glance his way, and he fought the urge to go to her side once more. Get these last few details down. Then we can get out of here.