Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to Disney and is the intellectual property of George Lucas; he created the sandbox. I'm making no money off of this and am simply destroying the sandcastles.
THIS VIGNETTE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON 7, EPISODE 12 (THE FINALE) OF TCW.
Title: Last Honors
Author: Jade_Max
Characters: Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano
Genre: Missing Moment Vignette
Era: The Clone Wars
Summary: Season 7, Episode 12
Last Honors
With the Tribunal crashing into the moon, and Ahsoka and Rex barely escaping with their lives, they'd circled above the crash site, looking for signs of life for over an hour, running scan after scan as hope died a slow death.
Hope that was as conflicting and confusing as everything the last few hours had brought.
Hope that they'd find some sign of life and yet the fervent hope that they wouldn't.
They both knew that if they found life signs, any clone on the ship would still be under the thrall of order 66. They'd be hunted again, with deadly force, and neither wanted to examine what a ground fight would look like.
Silence stretched between them as Rex brought the ship to a hover over the hangar bay doors where, not so long ago, they'd been fighting for their lives. Men they'd trusted for years to watch their backs had actively been trying to kill them. Now... now the ship was silent and, after another hour of deep scans, the evidence irrefutable.
There were no life signs.
It wasn't surprising with how much damage the Tribunal had taken before she'd struck ground but it was as disheartening as it was a relief. And the guilt for their relief drove them down. Landing, they exited the fighter with caution, despite the fairly conclusive scans; no matter how deep, the scans, there was always the chance of a shielded compartment.
Approaching the burning wreck together, Ahsoka with her remaining lightsaber in hand and Rex with his blasters drawn, they moved to the edge of the open hangar bay doors. Black smoke rose from the broken conduits and twisted metal, earth having poured into the open doors as it plowed the ground.
It gave them a safe way in and, cautiously, Rex and Ahsoka started down the dirt pile. Below, lights flickered as the emergency power to the ship continued to pump power where it could. It would last, they both knew, for a several days, a week perhaps, but not beyond that. In silence, they reached the bottom... and stared.
Clones littered the floor, some half buried under debris and wreckage, their bodies lying in unnatural angles, like broken rag dolls pilled, forgotten and abandoned, in the corner.
A sound tore from Ahsoka's throat, part grief, part anger and all frustrated helplessness as her lightsaber hit the deck and her hands came up to cover her mouth. Tears flooded her eyes but didn't fall as she surveyed the bodies of the men they'd considered family. The adrenaline that had been keeping her going for so long was wearing off and the reality of the situation hit her with the force of the ship ploughing into the planet. Rex's hand came to land on her shoulder and, without thinking, she turned into his body, unable to bear the sight. Rex's knees hit the deck as his arms came about her, his forehead touching the side of hers as she buried her face in his shoulder. She hugged him tightly, clinging to him and accepting the solace and comfort he silently offered.
Up until that moment, it had been surreal; fighting and fleeing, running on adrenaline and determination, almost like a bad war game.
Now... now it was real.
The Tribunal, where she'd been reunited with her family was gone; the men with whom she'd shared such an important bond of camaraderie, loyalty and family, were gone.
"Come on," he told her hoarsely, his grief as palpable as hers in the roughness of his tone. "We need to see if there are any survivors."
"They..." Ahsoka choked on the words, her face still tucked to his shoulder. "There aren't, Rex. I.. I know."
He accepted her word for what it was; a Jedi who was certain beyond all measure. "Most of the men were brought here by their last orders, Ahsoka. With the bridge destroyed..."
"We still should look. We need to find them, to find them all." She finally lifted damp eyes to his and Rex made no effort to hide the tears shining in his own or the new tracks on his cheeks; they were in this together. "They were good men; good soldiers. They did their duty to the end and should be honored for it."
"No," Rex shook his head, contradicting her; he explained before she could misunderstand. "No, not just soldiers, Ahsoka. They were more than that, more than good men; they were family."
Nodding in agreement, Ahsoka took a bracing breath and released her hold on him, Rex letting her go to take his bucket off his belt. The look she gave him made him wince and he found himself explaining. "If we're going further in, the atmospheres might not be safe. Who knows what toxins are airborne."
"We should stick together, Rex."
"I'll go first," he pulled one of his blasters from its holsters as he slapped his bucket on his head.
"We go together." Reaching down, she collected her lightsaber from the ground and hesitated. "I'm afraid of what we'll find, Rex."
He was too. "Together, then."
"Together."
With a nod, he headed into the damaged ship with Ahsoka on his heels.
Rex chewed on the ration bar that was his dinner, considering the once-Jedi beside him, his heart heavy and emotionally exhausted.
They'd spent the day combing through corridors and retrieving the bodies of the men who had died, digging out those they could see, each set of vacant eyes entrenched in his memory where they'd remain. The ship had been a maze of broken, twisted durasteel and they'd searched what they could reach until well after the sun had disappeared. Everything else, was out of their reach and not even Ahsoka's lightsaber could get them through safely. They recovered half a dozen bodies from the various corridors and tomorrow would start on the hangar bay. Anyone left within the ship, they'd agreed reluctantly, would remain where they'd fallen, a durasteel coffin entombing them forever.
It hadn't been an easy admission and Ahsoka looked as exhausted as he felt. She too, chewed on a ration bar, and he could see the wheels turning in her head despite the emotionally cataclysmic day.
When Ahsoka broke the silence they'd been keeping since before they'd landed, it drew his gaze immediately. "We should talk about where we go from here, Rex."
Rex finished chewing his bite of ration bar, as he considered her comment. He'd been thinking about the same in the back of his mind during their search and a course of action had come to him. One he was certain she wasn't going to like. "It won't be much of a discussion, Ahsoka," he replied gravely. "We can't stay together."
"What?" she looked wounded and he hated hurting her. "No! The last thing we should do is split up!"
"Ahsoka-"
"No, Rex," she insisted, "we never would have gotten off the ship if we hadn't worked together. Splitting up now when we're both fugitives is a terrible idea."
"I can't take you with me."
"You can't not take me with you," a teasing notes entered her tone despite the fact neither of them felt much like levity. "We only have the one ship."
"That's not what I mean," Rex shot her a weary look. "I have to go back."
"Go back?"
"To the Republic."
"Rex-"
"I have to, Ahsoka."
"No! No you don't," she jumped to her feet and began to pace, clearly on edge and agitated with his decision, the half-eaten ration bar forgotten in her hand. "We've been labeled as traitors, Rex. Both of us. If you go back, you'll be killed!"
"Everyone who knows I didn't follow the order died here, Ahsoka. Everyone. They didn't send any transmissions."
"You can't know that."
"When the hyperspace core exploded, it would have damaged every other system. Jesse didn't know I wasn't going to follow the order until we encountered him in the hangar bay. Everyone, every resource, was focused on us. They wouldn't have sent the signal until they completed their mission."
His gaze slid to where the smoking ruin of the Tribunal lay in her final grave, Ahsoka's gaze following his in silence.
"I can't stay." Shaking his head, Rex lifted one hand to the bandage on the side of his skull. Her gaze came back to his and then lifted to follow his fingers as he traced the square. "You gave me back my freedom, Ahsoka. You returned my ability to choose; to not obey blindly. How can I do any less for my brothers?"
The question hung between them for a long moment before Ahsoka reached out to place one hand on his forearm. "You can't save them all, Rex."
"I know. Not all of them will want to be saved after what they'll have done. If I had killed you..." he swallowed hard and forged ahead. "If we had succeeded, if I had succeeded-"
"You didn't." Her fingers squeezed his forearm and she offered him a wan smile that barely tilted her lips. "I'm alive."
Nodding once, he brought the topic back to its original direction, unable to deal with even the thought of having succeeded when he was practically numb from the grief that was threatening to drown him over what he and his brothers had done. "I have to go back. To see who is still... who made it."
"I hate this, Rex. Only a Sith would-" Ahsoka flinched, folding to the ground as her hand dropped away from his arm, her shoulders dropping and her expression defeated. "What they did this to you, to us, it's worse than betrayal. It's not your fault. It's not the clone's fault. Having the very men we trusted turn on us... the Jedi never had a chance."
He reached out and took her hand, squeezing her fingers. "You made it."
"You helped me understand and gave me the clue I-" she exhaled, tears glimmering in her eyes when they met his again. "If you hadn't fought it and hesitated, hadn't mentioned Fives-"
The silence between them was heavy with the unspoken what might have been as she struggled to finish.
"I am sorry, Ahsoka."
"I don't blame you, Rex, I'm trying to thank you. You gave me a chance; your hesitation is the reason I'm still here."
Rex was unprepared as Ahsoka practically threw herself at him, her arms going around his neck as she buried her face in the curve of his shoulder. He was hesitant to lift his arms, but did after a moment's hesitation, needing the contact as much as she needed to in that moment. Hugging her tightly, he held her close. The hug was tight and almost desperate, an affirmation of what might have happened if Rex hadn't been able to warn her and that he had. Rex didn't realize just how much he'd needed the contract until she was in his arms and he held her just as tightly as she held him.
Ahsoka was the first to ease her hold, the pressure around his neck relaxing as she moved to break away. They stared at one another for a few moments before she averted her gaze and pulled away, looking back to the ashes of the Tribunal. Rex followed her gaze, knowing she had to be thinking the same as he.
"Tomorrow is going to be tough, Ahsoka. We should get some rest."
"You first," she told him, her gaze still on the wreck. "I'll take first watch."
Rex was tempted to argue with her, knowing it would take some time for sleep to claim him, if it did at all, but chose not to. For her, he would try.
There was silence between them the next morning when they broke camp after a sleepless night, taking the time only to heat the caf they'd found in what was left of a small officer's galley before getting to work.
Together, they moved back into the cavernous entity that was the semi-filled hold of the Tribunal. They'd salvaged a pair of shovels from one of the damaged craft and Rex quickly drew a line of roughly where they'd have to dig. Six feet by three feet; just enough to bury a brother.
Ahsoka wasted no time in digging in at one end and Rex quickly joined her. Together, they dug the hole, stopping when it was three feet deep. Shallow, but they had a forty four more to dig just like it and Rex knew it wasn't going to be done all in a day. Once the hole was finished, they jumped out and turned to the body of the deck office they'd found. Lifting him gently, Rex grabbing his shoulders, Ahsoka his feet, they placed him within the grave. After a moment of silence where they simply stood looking down at him, Rex collected his shovel and began to mound the displaced earth over his vod.
Her shovel joined his, and in silence, they attended to the grim responsibility.
It took an hour to dig, move and bury the body, giving him an estimate of how longer it would take them to bury the rest of them, and he swallowed hard. If they worked without rest, dug and buried with that kind of efficiency, it would still take them four days at twelve hours a day to bury them all. As they finished burying the officer, Ahsoka stopped for a moment, collecting one of the blaster's they'd recovered. Driving it into the ground, barrel first, she marked the mound and placed the officer's damaged cap on the end. Rex waiting until she finished the ritual and she'd stepped away.
They shared a moment of silence, a look and then, in unspoken agreement, moved onto the next brother's grave without a word.
Through the day, they worked in tandem, side by side as they dug the graves where his brothers would lie. After countless battles, dead who numbers in the tens of thousands on distant worlds without the chance to be buried, Rex found himself wondering why they didn't just let the dead lay where they fell as they had so many other times... except he continued to dig and move earth without pause, only taking a moment to bow his head in farewell as Ahsoka dutifully marked the graves with a blaster and a helmet or cap, depending on the clone's uniform.
They dug a dozen graves the first day before the grief became too much.
Retiring to their camp, they ate in silence and then took watches. Sleep was elusive, but necessary, and, when they slept, they slept next to the one on watch, needing that closeness; the affirmation of togetherness and life. Rex slept with his back to Ahsoka's hip, his head curled on his elbow; Ahsoka slept with her montrals against his thigh, her hand curled under her cheek. Physical contact, they were both quick to discover, was the only way either was able to get any sleep. They didn't question it; the contact was comforting and they would take that where they could.
The following days followed much the same pattern, with rising early in silence and moving to the field of graves to resume their gruesome task.
The last day was the hardest; the weight of their task grew with each brother their buried, the grief well beyond numbness to the point where pain was almost an exquisite pleasure.
Rex cultivated it, using it to drive himself to finish the graves for each of the vod who came next. His outlook shifted over the days of exhausting grief, settling into a kind of mad determination. The task at hand had somehow become about closure and the fact that these vod were men he could say goodbye to personally. He'd been unable to bury countless vod on countless worlds, but these vod would get that final respect. Each grave he dug deepened his resolve to discover which vod remained alive and, with that resolve his, his determination to save them grew. With each grave, each goodbye, he swore to see that nothing like this would ever happened again if he could help it.
His heart would never be able to handle it.
Ahsoka worked tirelessly along side him, the repetitive motions of the burials familiar but heart wrenching, each one more impossibly difficult than the last as they reached the men who had been a part of his platoon. More than once they had to break, overcome with grief and sick at heart before turning from their grim task so exhausted they had to rest. A dozen graves a day dwindled to ten and then eight as they slowed, each man they'd known personally needing a little more time to say goodbye and a little more time to pull themselves back together after wards.
Day seven started the same as the others; with food because they forced themselves to eat and in enough pain he was grateful for the reminder he still lived.
Seven grueling days left his hands blistered, despite his gauntlets and gloves, his back aching and the silence between he and Ahsoka ringing more loudly than any artillery barrage for its weight. They went to bed exhausted and silent, taking comfort in touch and look; they woke and went back to work, silent but soul-sick, a grim determination between them to complete their task no matter the personal cost.
Knowing they were nearing the last of their solemn duty, they worked through what would have been their normal break for lunch in silent agreement, a look and a nod between them showing they were in total agreement. Neither could handle another day of burials and goodbyes. Especially not these last vod.
Jesse was among the last to be buried.
As they reached his body and made to pick it up, Ahsoka's knees suddenly buckled and her shoulders started to heave. The first word either of them had spoken in days tore from her lips with a ragged cry. "Jesse."
Rex gently replaced Jesse's shoulders on the ground and took a knee beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. It was something they'd done countless times for one another over the past several days when the grief had become too much. It was a familiar gesture; mutual comfort within their shared grief.
Ahsoka turned into his body, holding him fiercely. "I wish we could have reached him, Rex." the broken wish was barely audible between them, her voice raspy from her crying jaggs and little use. "I wish we could have stopped this. They didn't have to die!"
Rex had nothing to say.
He'd been under the influence of the inhibitor chip and unable to control his own actions; a prisoner in his own mind. Jesse had been no more able to resist the command than he had. Rex had fought it and lost, knowing what he'd been about to do but unable to stop it. Did he wish otherwise? Of course he did. However, he also knew the moment his vod had been activated and the command spoken, events had been set in motion to seal each of their fates. Without a way to stun Jesse and remove the inhibitor chip, the only way he would have stopped would have been to kill Rex and Ahsoka; something Rex would have never allowed as soon as his own chip had been removed. Short of escaping the Tribunal, which had been their intention, and leaving it intact, Rex had known the moment he'd killed his vod from the med-bay bed that this had been all but inevitable.
Maul crippling the ship had only sealed that fate.
Knowing that didn't make losing them any easier and it would haunt him for a long time.
He'd never cried so much in his life and found as he wrapped her in his arms that he had no more to give. He was spent, tapped after burying so many vod and his grief had turned into something else; cold, icy fury. He hugged her tightly. "There's nothing more we can do for them than this, Ahsoka." He told her gruffly, letting her find what comfort she could in his embrace and taking comfort from hers. Despite his fury, he remained attached enough to this moment to be in it with her. He'd known it was coming; that didn't make it any easier. "Just this."
"I know." Her sobs stopped as quickly as they'd started and after a moment he let her go. "I..." she scrubbed her swollen eyes, "I know."
Rex stopped her when she would have turned away, his hand on her arm. The look she sent him was weary and grief-stricken. "It doesn't make it any easier," he voiced his thoughts with as much compassion as he could, knowing she would share them, but also knowing that putting them to her would solidify their togetherness in this moment - and he needed it as much as she did, "but there is no one I'd rather be with to do this, Ahsoka. No one else would give them the respect and caring they deserve."
"I just wish it wasn't necessary, Rex." Her gaze dropped to Jesse's face where the wind had blown away the covering they'd wrapped him in. "I wish..."
He knew. He did too.
He placed both hands on her shoulders and tilted his forehead to hers, closing his eyes for a long moment before opening them again. She was staring back at him and the understanding in their gazes meshed. "Come on," he told her hoarsely, "we have a few last honors to finish."
She nodded, taking a deep breath and then, determinedly squared her shoulders. "Let's do this."
Rex bent back to Jesse's shoulders and slid his hands under them, lifting his body as Ahsoka took his feet and they shuffled him over to where they had excavated his final resting place. Gently, reverently, they placed him carefully into the hole. Rex paused as he pulled his hands out from under Jesse's shoulders and shifted them to rest on top, closing his eyes briefly and saying a silent goodbye, determined to remember Jesse as the hotheaded man he'd been, determined to be the best of everything... and succeeding.
Few clones had been as resilient as Jesse and Rex knew he'd miss his vod; and not just because he'd become his friend as well as his vod, but because Jesse had been Jesse. A unique individual who had become a confidant while keeping his brash, yet serious, nature. Jesse had been with Rex just about as long as Ahsoka and his death hurt as much as losing Fives. More, as Rex knew there'd been nothing he could have done to save the man who'd been trapped behind order 66's programming.
"Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum. Jesse," Rex murmured softly.
"I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal. Jesse." Ahsoka echoed just as softly, her voice cracking on his name.
Rex nodded once, confirming her translation, not surprised she remembered it after all this time. He reached down to tuck the cover around Jesse's face again, making sure it was secure before he took a deep breath, dusted off his hands and stood, reaching for his shovel. Ahsoka was beside him a moment later, and they efficiently covered Jesse with dirt. When they were done, Ahsoka reverently lifted Jesse's helmet and offered it to Rex. She said nothing, but the gesture Rex understood. Of all his vod they'd buried, Jesse as different. He accepted the helmet Jesse had been so proud of as Ahsoka drove a blaster rifle into the dirt at the head of the grave. Rex traced the symbol on Jesse's helmet with his thumbs, remember how proud Jesse had been to have been marked both on his skin and his helmet with the galactic roundel, despite some of the teasing he'd gotten. Rex's lips twitched. No trooper had been more loyal than Jesse; it had been an appropriate badge of honor for the man to have. Rex adjusted his grip and placed the helmet overtop the butt of the rifle, hanging onto it for a split second longer than was needed, reluctant to let go for this final goodbye.
Ahsoka's hand touched his should in silent support and he exhaled, forcing himself to release his grip. He had no tears, but his chest was tight and his throat dry.
They stood by Jesse's grave for a long moment before Rex straightened and Ahsoka's hand fell away. They had a five vod left to bury and they were determined to finish today; Jesse would understand.
Together, they moved to the next section of earth and, in unspoken tandem, drove their shovels into the ground and began digging the last of the final resting places. Dig, retrieve the fallen vod, day a final goodbye, and bury. Over the next several hours, they dug five more graves, hung five more helmet, all vod from the 501st. All were added to his memorial list, a list he knew would only get longer once they knew more about what had happened, who had fallen, and who remained.
Shoveling the last shovel of the dirt over the final grave, Rex took a moment to take a knee beside it. He placed his hand on top of the mound and patted it softly, looking back over the dozens of graves that he and Ahsoka had created over the last few days. It was a sobering sight. And one that brought him a moment's peace, finally. Standing, he turned to find Ahsoka had retreated a little, her cloak back on, the wind whipping up as the temperatures were starting to drop, the sun starting to set as it neared nightfall. He stood, collected his tools and shouldered his shovel. He stepped up to join her, taking a moment to observe the way she was observing their work.
Rex placed one hand on Ahsoka's shoulder as he turned towards the ship that would take them away, meeting her gaze for a long moment. No words passed between them as he nodded once, understanding without being told that she needed a few more minutes to say her goodbyes. Ahsoka's gaze broken from his and back to the grave site.
Heading back to the fighter, shovel in hand, he left her to her silent vigil.
Exhausted, weary in spirit and body, he also felt at peace for his vod finally. It had been heart breaking work, but within it he'd found purpose. As he'd told Ahsoka, he had to go back. He had to give his vod the same chances she'd given him, to see who was still alive. Determination filled him as he packed away his gear, waiting for Ahsoka to rejoin him. To have a final discussion about what they would be doing next; to listen in on the galaxy and try to find some semblance of the familiar.
Whatever was to come next for them, whatever this new order was to bring, he could only face it with the certainty that nothing would ever be the same.
Fin
Author's Note: I have no intention (at the moment) of continuing this into "The Bad Batch" or "Tales of the Jedi" despite the appearance of Rex and Ahsoka in the shows to date. Partly because I've already alluded to what Rex would do, and where he would go, based on the Rebels timeline. That story, of where they go from here and how they part ways, I will leave to your imaginations.
Thank you for reading; May the Force be with you.
-Jade