Dismal Angel Revelations - Episode 1

Rejected By The Light

Chapter 4: Not There

Remy had never really experienced anything like this before – been ripped somehow from his body and left unattached from it. A ghost from a body that really hadn't died at all. He was wondering when this outer body experience was ever going to end.

He'd managed to follow Hank and Jean onto the Red Eye, but this was the only thing he had been able to do. He still couldn't seem to grab their attention either, and it was beginning to distress him.

Although he hadn't given it much thought. When he'd seen Jean and Hank approaching, he'd been almost convinced – with Jean's telepathic abilities – that his ghost should be noticed. But even Jean was oblivious to this, and it worried him. If Jean couldn't see him, would the Professor? Would anyone?

If no one can see me, how will I ever find out what's going on exactly – how will I ever get back in my body again? He wondered during the journey, he was standing near the control panel at the front of the Red Eye near the co-pilot seat. A seemingly endless darkness with tiny twinkling lights below passed by, and he couldn't help but ponder if he'd ever get to walk down there again and feel the hard cement under his boots. Maybe I'm brain dead, he suddenly thought. Maybe that's what's happened. Maybe I am just a ghost now, because my brain is dead, no reviving me – I'd be a vegetable.

When the short journey was over, Hank and Jean exited the jet. Jean was using her telekinetic abilities to support Remy's lifeless body in the air as effortlessly as if he weighed barely anything.

Remy followed, feeling very downhearted and confused. The hanger was silent, save the sound of Jean's boots. Then there was a gasp from the ramp area that led up to subbasement tunnels.

"Oh my god!" Kitty Pryde had rushed through the doors, she ran in a strange waddle, her large stomach sticking out in front of her almost seemed as if it didn't belong there, as if it wasn't part of her, but rather a beachball underneath her pale yellow terrycloth robe.

Wow…she got so big, Remy thought, slightly amused.

"What happened?" Kitty demanded in an upset high pitched tone.

"We're not sure yet," Hank sighed, "Kitty, please, don't concern yourself. He will live…"

Kitty didn't look any the less concerned, and Remy loved her for that. It was somewhat comforting to know that if he had died, at least someone would be earnestly mourning.

Would Rogue even mourn? He wondered solemnly. He watched Kitty move over to his own body, as it was floating in the telekinetic lock Jean had on it.

"Kitty, please…" Jean said softly, "don't stress over him, he'll be fine. It's just a laser wound – he's going to survive. Please don't worry," Jean touched Kitty's pregnant belly in a fond way, "we spoke about this stress you cause yourself by worrying. It's not good for the baby."

Kitty pouted, "I know but…how can you expect me to not worry – Remy is my friend."

"And I'm sure he wouldn't want you worrying either," Hank suggested.

Remy watched Kitty, he could see the true concern in her eyes and the hurt in her face. He felt a surge of overprotection for Kitty, he'd always cared for her, almost in the way a big brother might over his younger sister. He's right, Kitty. Don't stress. Don't hurt the baby. If they say I'll be fine, I will be…

Kitty too, seemed as oblivious as Hank and Jean, and Remy felt that if perhaps he'd been in his body, he might have cried with the frustration.

I don't get this. Why can't they see me? Fine, if I'm a ghost, they might not see me, but surely the atmosphere would change or something. I've read enough horror books and books on the paranormal to know that ghosts make the temperature drop…and the electricity changes in the room…why isn't any of that happening here? He looked around in curiosity.

Remy followed as Jean and Hank went on their way to take his body to the hospital wing. He glanced over his shoulder and saw that Kitty was following. He wished Kitty could see him. Kitty was smart, she'd know what to do. She'd look up thousands of books for an answer. She'd do that for a friend.

Kitty yawned, "the professor called, he's still in Washington. He'll be getting a flight out to Paris tomorrow…" she said as she followed.

Great, Remy thought miserably. The only other person in the mansion who might have seen me…and he's not even HERE. He stopped in the middle of the hall, and received a surprise as Kitty passed right through him.

"What is the Professor doing there anyway, he hasn't even told me," Jean said, sounding slightly upset about this, which surprised Remy, as Jean always seemed so nonchalant about everything concerning anyone's business.

Kitty didn't answer, and Hank paused in the hallway, as did Kitty, "Jean, I'll be there in a moment," he assured. "Clean the wound as best you can," he added.

Jean, who had been studying to be a doctor, was fine with this, and she slipped away and disappeared in one of the elevators.

When she was gone, Hank turned towards Kitty, "what did he say?" he asked quietly, checking again by looking down the hall to make sure that Jean was definitely out of earshot.

"He says he might have found a lead – in Paris. Looks like Jessie might have been born there, but we have to wait until he finds out more," she added, "then we'll know for sure…"

Remy stood silently observing. Who's Jessie? he asked aloud, although was quite aware neither of his fellow X-Men could hear him.

"Anyway, lets just keep this between ourselves," Kitty added.

"We've managed nearly six months, I'm sure we can keep it quiet," Hank nodded, and then the two went down the hall.

Remy followed them into the elevator that lead up to the ground floor of the mansion, where the small hospital wing was located. He decided not to go with them to the hospital wing though, he already knew his diagnosis, Hank had said he would be fine, and he believed that. Besides, he needed to somehow find someone else who would see him, or feel his presence.

Okay, so Kitty, Jean and Hank can't, and the Professor is gone…so…who else? He asked himself. Someone will be around surely.

"Are any of the others back yet?" Hank asked.

"Not yet…still all out on missions," Kitty responded.

Fuck, what is this, the worst night of my life or what?! No one but Kitty, Jean and Hank are here and no one can see me, my body is lying with a laser hole in it, and I'm floating around outside of it! Remy thought in despair.

Kitty's glittering sapphire blue eyes fell to her stomach, and she touched it, "baby is kicking again, I swear this kid is gonna kick a hole right through me one day," she grumbled.

Remy smiled, and momentarily wished he could feel her stomach. He felt a strange connection, like that kid might perhaps be his niece or nephew. Uncle Remy, he mused. What a concept. He placed his hand near to Kitty's belly, but his hand passed through her as if he'd swiped merely at air. For a swift second, he thought he saw Kitty shiver ever so slightly, and wondered if perhaps he'd prompted that response in her.

"Temp in this elevator is a little chilly," Kitty said, "when are you going to fix the thermostat in this place anyway?" she asked, "I've only been begging for the last three months."

Hank merely smiled, "I'll get around to it – it's on my 'to do' list."

"Yeah, the laundry is on your 'to do' list as well, and it's still been lying in the laundry baskets in the laundry room for the last four days now," Kitty frowned.

Hank patted her head, "you and your little mood swings, it amuses me so," he kissed her forehead affectionately, and the elevator doors opened at that moment, "go back to bed, Kitty, and get some sleep. You don't want that baby to be an insomniac like you're turning out to be," he added as he stepped out of the elevator. Remy followed.

Kitty hugged herself, the foyer hall which the elevator led into was freezing, Remy couldn't feel it but he could tell from her breath, which misted against the cold. "If you had a baby inside of you trying to kick it's way out of you every night, I think you'd be an insomniac too, Hank," she retorted.

Remy watched Kitty walk towards the stairs, the back of her terrycloth robe swaying in her strange pregnant waddle. She began to head up the stairway to the foyer, although he could see her hesitate for a moment, and he could tell she might be still concerned about his condition. She paused on the stairway and turned, "Hank!" she called out as Hank was almost on his way down the hall.

Hank retraced his steps, "yes?" he responded, and he looked up at her, she was half way up, standing with her left foot on one step higher than her right, her hand was on the mahogany banister, she gripped it hard and her knuckles turned white.

"Remy IS going to be okay, right?" she asked, her blue eyes glittering with what might be tears, but Remy was sure that this was just the hormones making her slightly over emotional.

Hank smiled again, he seemed confident, and at ease, "Of course. I've dealt with such wounds a hundred times, he's going to be fine."

"Right…" Kitty nodded, reassured by his expression alone. She knew if she really had anything to worry about it would be in Hank's expression. As professional and intelligent as he was, he could never hide bad news, his expression would fall far too solemn, and she'd tell at once. Without further ado, she continued upstairs, disappearing out of Remy's sight.

I wish I believed that, Remy thought. If I can't get back into my body, will I REALLY be alright? How long can my body survive without me in it?