Dismal Angel Revelations - Episode 1

Rejected By The Light

Chapter 6: Addicted to Lies

Remy could do nothing to improve his situation. He checked in with the hospital wing, and watched Hank and Jean dressing his laser wound, and discussing his health. They even seemed convinced there would be very minimal scarring, which he was glad of. He had enough scars on his body as it was.

Remy decided to go to his room when Jean and Hank went to complete their watch in the war room for the remainder of the wee small hours of the morning. Remy wasn't sure if he himself could sleep, but it would be worth a try. Anything to pass the time until the others arrived and he could test his luck to see if any of them could see his presence.

He went up the stairs to the men's dorms which was where his room was located. His room door was very much the same way he had left it, and it still had the sign with R. LeBeau imprinted upon it. He tried the handle but his hand passed right through it. He decided it might be worth a try to see if he could completely walk through the door, and he braced himself, and put his leg through the very solid door.

He passed through as if he did not exist at all, and after confirming his suspicion about this, he stepped the rest of the way through.

His room was in darkness, but a shaft of moonlight seeped in from the window, between the blind slats so that if left the light in horizontal stripes across the opposing wall. Remy moved over slowly and peered out over the Xavier estate.

Everything was laden with snow. Crisp and white, and startlingly brilliant against the blackness outside. The snow almost seemed to glitter like mounds of diamonds and it made Remy fondly remember walking with Rogue on a snowy night many years ago.

Remy had never had much of an affection for snow, being much more acclimatized to the scorching Southern heat, but somehow, walking with Rogue that night had given him a whole new appreciation for it. And now, this snow itself seemed incredibly beautiful, and the sheer sight of it momentarily calmed the fretting inside of him.

How he wished he could have shared this with Rogue. It was incredibly romantic, and she had a love of such things.

Remy pondered then if he would ever even share anything romantic with her ever again. She'd moved on with her life, it seemed, and her future plans didn't involve him. Now, she had this relationship with Bobby, which Remy couldn't understand because Rogue had never shown any interest in the man before.

But then this happens with people who've known each other a long time, doesn't it? They fall in love, because they're such good friends, he thought. Come to think of it, if things had been ever so slightly different me and Kitty could have ended up that same way if I hadn't rejected her kiss when we were in Illinois when her parents had just died in that fire. For all I know, if I hadn't rejected her kiss, me and her might have fell in love and settled down. Ha, as if that'd happen. Not to me and Kitty. We're not…a match. We just don't mesh. She's great, pretty and smart, but not my type. Besides…it'd be like…incest. I feel like Kitty is almost flesh and blood. The kid sister I never had. Besides...she was always in love with Piotr…it's a shame that it never worked out with them when they finally did get together.

Damn it, I SHOULD have gone after him and brought him back. It was all a misunderstanding. So what if she was pregnant, they were in love nonetheless, he was too rash to just run off like that…but then, who am I to talk, I've been running off all my life.

Remy felt a slight guilt, thinking about it now. With nothing but time on his hands at the moment, thoughts of what should have happened several months ago started to come back. Wish I could go back in time, he thought dully. I'd stop myself from being captured by Sinister in the first place…if that had never happened, Kitty wouldn't be knocked up and single right now. If I could go back in time I'd take back everything I ever did to Rogue, every little lie I'd ever made…Damn it. If only it were possible. I'd make everything right again. If I could go back before I even met Rogue and change everything, maybe our lives would both be better by now

He thought of Rogue once again, and felt an ache in his chest for her, although he was sure this was physiologically impossible as he no longer technically had a chest in this ghostly form. I wonder if Rogue even knew I was back in the mansion, would she be concerned? He wondered. He sighed to himself. Would she even care, or would she just shrug it off and head off with Drake anyway?

How could she just go off with him? Remy thought, he was sure if he'd been in his body he might have felt his heart breaking. He hadn't heard the three words come from Rogue's mouth, but he'd plainly heard her agree to Bobby that she loved him. This was something that made Remy wish he were dead.

How could she just fall out of love with me so quickly? My love for her has never wavered, not ONCE. Why is it she falls in and out of love with me so quickly? Am I so charming and yet, so detestable all at the same time?

He stared out to the endless snow, the estate seemed so pure, and untouched, and Remy ached wishing he were as pure as that virgin snow. Maybe if he had been, he'd have never gotten himself into so much trouble.

Sleeping with Bella Donna is what started this whole thing, Remy thought. In a strange way, it's true. If I hadn't slept with Bella Donna when I was fifteen this NEVER would be this way. I need to be honest with myself…I only dated her because I wanted to sleep with her. She was the prettiest girl in the Big Easy, who wouldn't have wanted to? But she told me if I didn't love her, she wouldn't 'make love' with me. And so I did. I told her what she wanted to hear.

That was the first big lie that started me off on this massive road of deceit. I lied and said 'I love you', and I acted like I meant it even though I knew I didn't. Now I realise if hadn't slept with her, and then started avoidin' her after I did, she'd have never complained about it to her cousin, who would have never told her father, who would have never told MY father, and then they would never have thought of betrothing us to each other. That's why I left…I didn't want to be tied down to a life like that for the rest of my life.

What if I hadn't left? He thought. Would I just be a boring old Thief like every other member of the guild and live my life like that for the rest of my life. Having my father rely on my powers for special 'jobs' like I was some sort of circus animal that performs tricks when it's told?

Remy tried to close his mind to this thought. All of this made him feel incredibly stupid and childish. He'd been foolish when he fifteen – and come to think of it, he felt even more foolish now than he did then. He still found himself lying whenever he was in Rogue's presence. Even if it seemed the right thing to do to keep from hurting her he knew how incredibly foolish it was to lie.

Either I have an addiction to lying, or I'm incredibly stupid. Look at all the pain and misery I've caused. Not just to Rogue but to myself…

Both are probably true, I'm a lies addict an I'm incredibly stupid, he thought miserably.

A faint stirring in the room caught his attention, and this was the first time that he realised he wasn't alone. His finely tuned senses didn't work so well without his body to use them with. He heard the shifting of several layers of fabric. Remy went absolutely rigid in his ghostlike state and listened around him. There it was again, the shifting. Remy felt worried for one moment that he might be about to be ambushed, but he quickly realised that no one could see him so he didn't have much to worry about.

I'm definitely not alone in the room, Remy realised at once, and he slowly began to turn towards the bed, and it was the first time he noticed that there was a figure under the bed, and it was moving. He heard the slightest yawn coming from beneath the blankets and he stood there and stared, watching as two slim arms slid out from under the blankets and stretched upwards gracefully, and there came another yawn. A woman's yawn.

What's a woman doing in my bed? He wondered, and added in somewhat amusement, without me in it, anyway…

The figure rose from the covers, and the covers slid off, and a full head of long, black hair made itself visable, the beams of light from the moonlight behind the slats of the blinds caught her face, and Remy recognised her, although it took a few moments to remember her name.

Monet St. Croix.

Monet sat up, and rubbed her bleary eyes momentarily, then she stared across the room to where he was standing and blinked confusedly. Her dark brown eyes seemed to be adjusting to the darkness, and Remy was sure she trying to get a sight on the window to see what the weather was like outside (if you sat straight up in the bed you could see whether there was snow on the hills of the estate).

And then she spoke, and Remy didn't expect her to say anything at all.

"Mr LeBeau?"

- The End

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Okay, so yeah, it's been a while. I haven't been very well so I was taking a break. I had started this on the 19th of November, so it's been a very long work. Anyway, it was (what I feel) a well deserved break after having worked so hard on the previous series. So here we are, in series three already. How time flies.

Thanks to everyone for having been patient and not emailing me and demanding to know where the next instalment was. Thanks to Alex, of course, who always helps me out with the story whether it be researching my previous storylines, or just reminding me of green thongs and asschunks.

Hope you all like the start of this series and I hope you'll all look forward to more…(the first episode of a series for me is ALWAYS the hardest to write so the next should come a little easier).

Anyway, love you all,

- Ash