SPIDER-MAN in:
The Robotic Octorobbery
Spider-man sat silently atop a New York light post, suspiciously pondering his future actions. It had been a quiet, crimeless night so far, and Spidey hoped it would remain that way throughout the evening, as he was planning on catching up with some much-needed and certainly well-deserved rest.
Naturally, a man they call Doctor Octopus decided to interfere.
The invasion of Spidey's plans for sleep began at the bank nearest to where he was residing. The trouble began a few seconds before a piercing, high-pitched alarm sounded itself, and offered bursting eardrums to all those nearby. Not long after the alarm sounded, the overwhelming wave of pain and paranoia known as the Spider-sense washed itself all over Spidey's cranium, permanently embedding a trace of itself inside of Spidey's brain, and certainly causing at least one grey hear to sprout from a pore beneath the hair beneath the webbed mask that Spidey so proudly chose to don.
"Sonovabitch." Spidey whispered in his least kid-friendly comic book manner. Judging by Spidey's sole exclamation of words, this current adventure he was preparing to embark on would not be documented in an ordinary Marvel title…this one would more likely end up being a part of the MAX line. Spidey was simply in no mood for bullshit tonight--he was filled to the brink with fatigue, and just wanted to take care of the fucker Doc Ock and go home. In other words, there would be no witty one-liners tonight.
Spidey folded two of his fingers downwards in what was almost a devil salute not unlike the one metal god Dio so proudly concocted many years ago. As he made this gesture, a gooey grey glob of web splooged out of a small hole in his each of his wrists. The web stuck to the side of a close by building, and Spidey used all the strength he could muster up to pull himself up off the ground and begin swinging on the web. In a matter of minutes, Spidey had arrived at the bank.
Police surrounded both the outside and inside of the bank, randomly firing their guns without even truly paying attention to their target. Spidey hoped to quickly change this. He fired his web onto the face of the target—the tentacled menace Doctor Octopus. Doc Ock yelled and swiftly cut the webbing with one of his four tentacles.
"What is it you're after this time, asshole?" Spidey muttered.
"Why, haven't you heard? Tonight I, Doctor Octavius, am to rule the world!"
"And how do you hope to accomplish that by stealing from this perfectly innocent bank?" Spidey interrogated.
"Well, I—" For the first time in a long while, Doc Ock was at a loss for words. "Shit." Was all he managed to pull out from his lungs.
"Look, dumbass. Why don't you go back to your lab and devise another plan. Just leave the bank alone for tonight."
"Alright. But you haven't seen the last of meeeeeeeeee..." Doc Ock's voice trailed off as he burst a hole in the side of the bank and crawled out of sight, using his metallic tentacles as if they were feet.
That night, Spidey got about two hours asleep before he was awoken by his Aunt May's exclamation of the status of breakfast. Goddamnit, Spidey thought. Some nights it truly, in every sense of the word, sucks to be a superhero.
END