If I Should Die Before I Wake
Chapter 4
Visitors
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine. None of the characters belong to me. They are JK Rowling's property.
The door slowly creaked open. Surprisingly, it was not one of Harry's best friends. It wasn't even Hagrid or Dumbledore.
It was Minerva McGonagall. She smiled at Harry.
"I know you are probably wondering why I am your first visitor, Mr. Potter," she said swiftly. "But there are some things that you should know. Are you ready? This will not be pleasant."
Harry bit his lip. "I'm not sure. Could I just visit with everyone first? Then if I want to know, you can tell me everything?"
His former Professor sighed. "That is just it, Harry. Some people won't be here to visit you, and soon enough you shall realize it. That, and only that, is what I am here to tell you. You will learn of it eventually, I just thought it might be easier for you to know what really happened, rather than let your mind wander and come up with horrible possibilities; though the truth is horrible too."
Harry could not meet her eye. He stared at his bed. Finally, he spoke. "Professor, whi-"
"Oh, Mr. Potter," interrupted Minerva, "You need not call me Professor anymore. I am no longer your teacher."
"Then you need not call me Mr. Potter anymore," Harry replied with a grin. "Let's talk from friend to friend."
"Alright. As you were saying, Mr. – erm, Harry?"
"Well, while I was sleeping, I dreamed of many horrible things. I couldn't even remember who some of the people were in my dreams. But now, I can recall them better. I just don't understand something." Harry sighed. I guess I can wait to ask Dumbledore about it."
"Well, you couldn't see him anyway. He is… not here. Albus is far away. I'm sure you'll see him again eventually. Anyway, I'm sure anything that happened while you were asleep can be explained to you later. I'm sorry, if you'll excuse me Harry, I think I have something in my eye."
Harry frowned slightly as she hurried out. Had he offended her by clearly saying Dumbledore could help him and she couldn't? Just then, two faces emerged as the door opened again.
"Ron? Hermione?" he asked, overjoyed. They had changed so much! Harry could hardly remember that these were his friends over 3 years ago. They were beaming though, and looked very happy to see him.
"Harry, you're awake!" cried Hermione happily. "It's been so long…"
"Hey Harry," Ron said. "We missed you."
"We came here every week to see you. It was hard, Harry. Everything seemed out of place with you gone. On the holidays we came too. Your presents are still here," she said, fighting tears.
Harry glanced at where she was gazing. He smiled. A huge pile of candy was heaped by the wall, surrounded by other wrapped presents. On a small table by his bed, there were many cards from his friends, and anyone else who wanted to wish their hero a speedy recovery.
Ron held Hermione's hand encouragingly. That's when Harry saw the diamond on Hermione's finger. Could it be true?
"Congratulations!" Harry said, beaming at them. "I can't believe I've missed my best friends' wedding…"
"Oh, no you haven't, mate," Ron replied with a grin. "We just got engaged almost 2 months ago. The wedding is in a few weeks."
Harry was startled. "I've missed so much," he whispered. "So many things have changed."
Hermione shook her head. "Well, yes, I suppose they have. But one thing never changed; we will always be friends, Harry, no matter what."
They grinned at each other. The trio was back together again.
"So, tell me about your lives," Harry said. "What has happened while I've been rotting in this hospital bed?"
Ron laughed. "Well, we both considered becoming Aurors. But we knew that the Dark Days were pretty much over, so we figured that career wouldn't last more than several years."
Hermione took up the story. "I'd always wanted to help others learn. I work at Hogwarts. I'm the Muggle Studies professor. I also manage the library."
Ron smiled proudly at his wife. "She's a hard worker, my Hermione," he teased her.
"Oh, stop that, you," she playfully scolded Ron. They stared at each for a second, then Harry cleared his throat to bring them back to reality.
"Oh, erm, yes Harry," Hermione said, turning slightly red. "So, Ron, tell Harry what you do."
"Well, first I worked at the Ministry part-time for about a year. Then, the new headmaster at Hogwarts offered me to help out the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. I missed Hermione so much, so of course I accepted." Ron said.
"The Dark Arts professor is a bit frazzled," Hermione explained. "She gets stressed out really easily, so sometimes Ron gets to teach lessons by himself."
"Half the job is just grading exams, though," Ron admitted. "But I get to do a lot of demonstrations and teaching too."
"Oh, that's great, Ron," Harry finally got a word in. "And Hermione, too. That's great you get to work together, in a way. What did you say about a new headmaster? Dumbledore resigned?"
"Well, not formerly, I guess," said Hermione nervously. "He's resting."
Harry was about to question her further when there was a gentle knock on the door. Anne stepped inside.
"You two have been in here for nearly half an hour!" she exclaimed. "I think you should let someone else see Harry."
Harry was strongly reminded of his stays in the Hogwarts hospital wing, when Madame Pomfrey always shooed visitors out quickly.
"Of course," both Ron and Hermione replied.
"We'll come to see you tomorrow," Ron assured him.
"Bye, Harry!" Hermione said, and they both left the room.
Fred and George entered next. The only way Harry recognized them was their red hair, and that they looked alike.
"Harry!" one said.
"Nice to see you awake," mentioned the other.
"Alright, alright," Harry said. "I need to know who's who first."
"He's Fred, I'm George," said the twin on the left.
"No, I'm George, you're Fred," said the twin on the right.
"Oh stop it, you two," Mrs. Weasley said as she entered. "This is Fred, on the right, and George, on the left."
"Aw, Mum, why'd you spoil all the fun?" said George.
"Just coming in to check on you. Harry, don't eat anything they give you! It's probably some horrid trick from their shop."
"Thanks for the warning, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said politely, though stifling laughter as he saw the twins rolling their eyes and making faces behind her.
"Oh, Harry, I hardly know what to say," she said. "We've been waiting for you to wake up for what seems like forever… we'd so glad you're back!"
"Yeah, well we just came by to say hello," George said.
"Hope you're out of that bed in no time, mate," Fred said.
"I daresay you've spent enough time in it," George said.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but we have to leave," Mrs. Weasley said apologetically.
"G'bye, Harry."
"Cya Harry."
The twins waited until Mrs. Weasley left, then slipped a bag by his bed.
Fred winked. "Nothing harmful, don't worry. They've all been tested loads of times."
George laughed. "They're a big hit in the shop right now. They don't make you sick or anything like that."
Harry chuckled. "You'd better leave, before your mum-"
"FRED! GEORGE! Get out of there this instant. You'd better not be giving him anything suspicious…" Mrs. Weasley screeched loudly.
They hurried out of the room, muttering their last goodbyes. Another Weasley stepped tentatively into the room.
It was Ginny. Harry was surprised at how much she had changed, too. She was still beautiful. Her red hair fell so beautifully in front of her shoulders, and swished back and forth as she walked. She had grown, too; not just in height. Then she smiled, and Harry was filled with happiness at her gorgeous smile. He wanted her so much.
Then suddenly his heart sank. It had been three years. What if she was already with someone else? At school he had been about to admit his love to her… but he couldn't really remember. Everything before he fell asleep was a blur. How had he gotten into his coma anyway? He could hardly remember.
"Hi Harry," she said quietly. She sat on the edge of his bed.
"Ginny…" he said, gazing into her eyes. If only he could tell her how he felt about her. But what if she didn't feel the same way about him? He would be crushed.
"I've missed you so much," Ginny whispered.
"I've missed you. More than you know," he blurted out, suddenly realizing his mistake. He turned red.
Ginny frowned slightly. "Harry, I've always loved you. You knew that, didn't you? That day in the courtyard… you meant everything you said, didn't you?"
It was Harry's turn to frown. "Day in the courtyard? When?"
Ginny looked shocked. "At Hogwarts, Harry. Five days before the battle."
Harry wracked his memories. He concentrated fiercely, trying to retrieve the memory. It would not come.
"I-I'm sorry, Ginny," Harry said confusedly. "I can't remember. What battle? Did we get in a fight?" Harry asked, panicking.
It was then that Ginny knew something was seriously wrong. The color drained from her face.
"You don't remember the great battle?" she asked so quietly, that Harry had to strain his ears to hear.
Harry was frightened by her scared expression. "Erm, no. So this 'great' battle was important, I guess."
"Yes," said Ginny, barely audible. "Yes, it was."
"Ginny, please," Harry begged, "explain it to me."
Ginny froze. "I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you that, Harry…"
"Please, Ginny. Everyone is telling me that things have changed. I want to know everything. I am tired of being in the dark… literally. I want to remember. I want to understand." Harry said firmly.
Ginny was deep in thought. She still hadn't said a word.
"But then why won't you tell me? You're closer than just a friend to me. I don't care about how you feel about me back. The truth is, I love you Ginny. I can't imagine life without you." Harry sighed. "Look, I would have Dumbledore explain everything to me, but Hermione said he took a journey far away. Who knows when he'll return. Who else could tell me? Sirius is gone. My parents are gone. I guess I could ask Remus…" Harry said thoughtfully.
Ginny slowly turned to face Harry, though she could not bear to look him in the eyes.
"Dumbledore and Remus arrived at the same faraway place 3 years ago, Harry. That is their home now. I'm sure they are quite happy there. We will never forget them, and we will see them again when our time is up."
Harry puzzled for a moment, wondering why Ginny was wording her statement so oddly. Then, suddenly, he understood.
He slowly turned his head up toward Ginny's and looked into her eyes, wanting, begging for this to not be true.
"I'm sorry," she said before breaking his desperate gaze. She broke down completely. The tears flowed from her eyes and dropped onto Harry's bedspread.
Harry stared down at the blankets. "No," he whispered.
Harry stared at the comforter, taking in every detail of the pattern. Red diamonds, surrounded by blue circles, with green triangles scattered everywhere…
Seconds turned into minutes. He was hardly aware of time; he hardly noticed when Ginny got up and left the room.
Minutes turned to hours. Harry refused to see anyone.
After a few hours of staring at that comforter, Harry's head dropped onto the pillow in exhausting thoughts and grief.
---
Ginny exited the hospital room in tears. She saw Ron and Hermione sitting on a bench down the hall. They looked up as they heard her footsteps and they saw her tears.
"Ginny, what's wrong?" asked Hermione as soon as she realized the tears weren't from happiness.
"I told him. He knows," she cried hysterically.
"Ginny, calm down. What did you tell Harry?" Hermione said in a soothing voice.
Ginny took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I told him about D-dumbledore, and-and…" she could not continue.
"Remus," Hermione sighed.
"What'd you go doing that for?" Ron asked angrily. "I thought we agreed not to!"
Ginny's lip quivered. "Ron, I'm sorry. He just kept bringing it up and I couldn't avoid the subject anymore. I couldn't keep lying. He would have to find out sometime, okay?!"
Ron forced his anger out of his mind. "Look, Ginny, I'm sorry for losing my temper. But you really shouldn't have told him, okay? Believe me, Harry is not going to take this very well. Dumbledore and Remus were the last two people Harry was close to. His parents died, Sirius died, and now he just found out Dumbledore and Remus are dead. Who can he turn to now, Ginny?"
Ginny looked at him with a twinkle in her eye despite her tears. Ron raised an eyebrow. Hermione cleared her throat as if to ask permission to reenter the conversation.
"Yes, Ginny, he will need you. But he needs a loving adult; someone who would be like a parent to him. His real parents are gone, then his godfather, and now the last 2 people who have been like a father to him. And his aunt and uncle are thoughtless prats."
"Well, I imagine Mum would take him in, wouldn't she, Ron?" asked Ginny hopefully.
Ron smiled. "Of course she would, Ginny. She always had been willing to, though Harry had to stay with those worthless gits. Honestly, of all Muggles, they are the worst…"
Ginny suddenly paled again. "Guys, there's something else, something else about Harry."
She took a deep breath. "He doesn't remember some things…"
Hermione showed her book-wormy self. "Well, of course! Amnesia is common after prolonged comas. Don't you worry, Gin, it is completely normal for Harry to forget bits and pieces of his life. I read that in… oh, what bloody book did that come from? Was it-"
Ron quickly cut in, "It's alright Hermione. Chances are us lower beings haven't read it anyways, besides-"
It was Ginny's turn to interrupt, though Hermione was giving Ron a look. "Hermione, I'm serious, this is not normal. He can't remember the great battle. He can't remember… us."
Ron and Hermione looked shocked. "You mean, he doesn't remember that you love him?" Hermione whispered.
Ginny's eyes were welling up. "I don't think so. He said, 'You're closer than just a friend to me. I don't care about how you feel about me back.'"
Hermione sighed in despair. Ron looked at the both of them, then spoke.
"I know this is a tragic girl moment and all, but I think that the great battle is just as important. You say he can't remember the battle?"
Ginny nodded. "When I mentioned the battle, he thought it was a fight between us or something. I felt horrible."
Ron nodded. "This is going to be harder for him than I thought. We need to explain the great battle to him as soon as possible."
Hermione nodded in agreement. "Yes, we do."
Ginny nodded reluctantly. "He does need to know… but I'd rather not be the one to tell him, if you two understand. I don't want to be known as the bringer of bad news or something."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Hermione rested her head on Ron's shoulder. Just then, someone else came down the hall.
"I hear that he has woken up," he said.
"Yes, but I'm not sure you should see him just yet," Hermione said warningly.
The man nodded. "I know. Harry would not have seen me in the battle. He might not be pleased to see me."
Ginny spoke up softly. "He doesn't even remember the battle."
The man looked shocked. "Pardon?"
"You heard her," Hermione whispered.
"Blimey. Well, I think you lot need a breath of fresh air," the man said. "Maybe you could explain a few things to me."
The others nodded. As the four friends walked by Harry's room, they saw him still staring at the comforter intently. Ginny burst into tears.
"What's wrong with Harry?" the man asked.
"He knows about Remus and Dumbledore. He's been staring at that damn bed for a couple hours," Ginny replied with a mixture of emotions. She felt very sad, then angry that she had told him.
"Believe me, I have gone through the loss of my father in the battle," the man said sympathetically, "though I did not grieve, as you know. The initial shock seemed to paralyze me."
"Yes, we were there, Draco."
---
Draco's back in the story! Yipee! Don't worry, he is a good boy now. So if you hadn't picked up on all the hints before, yes, Dumbledore is dead. You'll find out how… don't worry! Thanks to my reviewers! Luv ya!
Kelsey