Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter nor am I affiliated with it! And I don't own any rights to the Dashboard Confessionals song "Places You Have Come To Fear The Most", although it is a great song!! I suggest listening to it!

Chapter 4:

It had been two weeks since Lily's parents had died. She was dealing. Rhi and, to her surprise, James had really helped her through it. In true Lily fashion, she was moving on, as much as possible. Trying to continue her life. It was just her way of dealing. She couldn't just keep sleeping, because she knew it would haunt her if she didn't deal with it right away. She never was one to procrastinate. She had spent a few days mourning and then despite her hearts protests she had started living again. It wasn't callous and cold, just who Lily was. She knew that although her parents' life was over, hers wasn't.

But that didn't mean she was over it. She cried, silently, every night. And began drawing as a way of getting her feelings out. Her sketches were dark and dreary, but they helped her get rid of those ever looming feelings.

She had also formed a tenuous friendship with James. Once she got to know him, he didn't seem quite as arrogant and as far as she knew he hadn't been bullying anyone. Their conversations were still awkward, and they often made it so that it wasn't just them alone. But it was an enormous change to everyone.

Sirius padded down the stairs from the boys' dormitory, quietly, hoping not to attract attention to this nighttime adventure. He was only going to the common room, but still did not want questions asked. As he entered the common room, he was not surprised to see someone sitting in front of the dying fire.

Rhiannon was sitting on the couch, in fleecy pyjama pants and a long sleeved red t-shirt, writing in a book. Her blonde hair was up in a messy bun, and slightly frizzy. She turned around as she heard him. He barely had time to marvel at her impeccable hearing before he was sitting next to her. She snapped shut her journal and graced him with a smile.

"Ah Sirius," She said in a mock-exasperated tone. " We have really got to start meeting at a decent hour, you know like normal people, not before sunrise." She brushed back a stray hair, her eyes sky blue and dancing with amusement. He just laughed, no witty, flirtatious response. Frankly he didn't feel the need to.

They sat in silence for a few moments, admiring the fire. She passed him a muggle book she had brought for him. He smirked at her, and she smiled, her eyes changing to a warm brown. She once more wrote in her journal, as he began the book.

He felt her near him, and felt warm from the inside to out. This shocked him. Never before had this feeling permeated him. He glanced at her concentrated face, glowing from the firelight, and felt a flutter inside. This feeling he knew quite well. He was no longer reading the book, as a rush of thoughts filled it up. How could he like Rhi? She was one of his closest friends. He normally just dated girls for a few days, never getting to know them; never really knowing whether he was attracted to them by anything other than theirs looks. But with Rhi, he knew he couldn't do that. Sure he liked her physically, but now he was emotionally attached.

"God look at the time!" His scrambled thoughts were shattered by Rhi's exclamation. "I got to go, see you at breakfast."

"Right."

"LILY! Get up!" Rhi yelled, it seemed to Lily, right in her ear. Lily jumped up to see Rhi quite calmly sitting on her bed, almost completely ready, and very laid back. Lily knew an alarm clock would never be necessary with Rhi as your roommate. Of course Rhi always looked tired and slightly unhealthy, and Lily knew that Rhi had problems sleeping, even when she took her sleeping draught.

Lily got ready and together they wandered down to breakfast. Lily plopped down across from James, who was at the moment pouring syrup on his waffles.

"Morning Sunshine!" James proclaimed in a fake chipper voice. Lily tried to scowl but it came out as smile. This gave James's heart a jolt. Every moment with Lily was gift to him, especially now that she was beginning to view him as a friend. He would do anything to make her smile.

To his right was Sirius, almost asleep in his waffles. Across from him were Rhi and Remus who were making mock bets on when Sirius would fall into the syrup-laden plate. Lily was listening to them; she seemed tempted to add her own predictions. Then she turned her attentions back to James.

"Did you know…"

"Yes?"

She laughed. " I honestly don't know, I just thought it would be a good conversation starter."

"You are weird!" He said jokingly.

"Thank you. Personally I think being weird is much more fun than being normal. And I think you agree with me."

"Are you implying that I am weird?"

"Why yes, yes I am Potter. Good spotting." He just smiled at her and to his great surprise a little tinge of pink had taken over her cheek and she was now busying herself with her breakfast. James could have done a dance on the table. Maybe after all there was a chance of him and Lily. That was what he wanted. Now just to make her realise that she too wanted that.

Next to him Sirius fell with a splat, face first into the sticky plate, with a great yelp from Sirius and laughter from Rhi, Lily, Peter and Remus.

Later that day, James was in a foul mood. Why, he could not say, for the day had had a good start. But after that it had deteriorated. Classes had been frustratingly boring and the weather was rotten, so he could not go for a nice calming fly. The other Marauders were not to found which vexed him to no extent. He at the moment was back to the dormitory where he planned to wait for the day to end, before he did something stupid. But alas, it was to late.

He was thoroughly annoyed by the droves of mindlessly chattering people that passed him. Then he saw a lone Slytherin 3rd year. He was the beater on the Slytherin house team and James remember that in the last match, the kid had taken a swing at one of James's fellow teammates, knocking her in the back of the head. James felt the anger course through him, and zeroed in on the kid. There were a few others in the hall.

"Hey Kid! So you think you can have a cheap shot one of my teammates and get away with it. TWIRLSIC!" The kid began spinning at an alarming rate, his cries echoing down the hall, a few students stopped to watch.

"POTTER!" Came a familiar yell, from a familiar redhead, who James happened to be infatuated with. James whipped around to see Lily looking absolutely disgusted with him. "TWIRLSTA" The kid stopped spinning, and preceded to be sick. Lily stood there glaring at him.

"You are sick, Potter, SICK!" She whipped around and stormed off. James pushed through the crowd and ran after her into a deserted hallway.

"Lily, wait!" He cried, desperation laced through out his voice. She stopped and turned around, her face a mixture of disgust, anger, disappointment and hurt. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't get it Potter!" He winced at the use of his surname. "I'm not the one you should be saying sorry to. You are exactly like I always knew you were, just an arrogant jerk, who thinks he has the right to bully others. All you ever think about is yourself. You don't care if it effects other people. Why, in the name of Merlin, would you randomly attack some lone kid?"

"In the last quidditch match, he hit Marcus over the head." Even to his ears it sounded feeble. Lily began to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! Just leave me alone. I don't want to be anywhere near you."

James stood there, feeling like crying. He had blown it bigtime. The look on her face haunted him. She had looked at him as though she didn't know who he was. He didn't even know why he had done it, his reasoning was so trivial. And her words stung, because he knew that they were true. He didn't blame her for not wanting to be near him, if he could he would get away from himself too. What had he done?

Lily sat there, tears leaking down her face. She was so confused. For years she had known exactly who James Potter was, and she knew that she wanted nothing to do with him. But then she had that idea shattered by a James that was kind, thoughtful, funny and endearing. She didn't know anymore, because it seemed she looked away for a second and he had changed back. Which made her wonder which James Potter was real and which was the façade. Why did he have to be so damn confusing? Why did he have to make her cry like that, after a friendship that hadn't even lasted a month?

Her anger had left as fast as it had come, and now she was left with an empty sense of confusion and guilt. The things she had said had needed to be said, she knew that but she also knew that they were hurtful.

Why was he able to hurt her like this? They had never even really had a meaningful conversation, but at the prospect of losing him she fell to pieces. Then it occurred to her that she had already lost the James that she was friends with. He had turned back into the bigheaded, bullying, jerk. And she stopped crying. Now there was nothing more to cry over.

Rhi and Sirius sat next to each other on a love seat. Rhi was sitting cross legged facing and Sirius was lolled back on the couch in her direction. It was very early morning or very late at night and the only light was that of the dimming fire and the almost full moon shining in from the window. They were engrossed in a serious conversation concerning their two respective best friends.

"I've never seen him so …. lifeless." Said Sirius worriedly.

"Well, when I came into the dorm, it looked like Lily had just been crying, she wouldn't what had happened though. She just brushed it off, but then I heard about James attacking that Slytherin and it made sense."

"Wait … Lily was crying over James?"

"It looked that way."

"Woah, but she's only been friends with him for what three weeks. And before that she hated him."

"Hate's to strong a word. She just greatly disliked him and steered clear of him."

"Well, I'm assuming 'cause of James's state she was pissed."

"Knowing Lily, she probably said some not so nice things to him."

"Yah, but I think he's a little sadder that Lily is back to 'greatly disliking' him. But I think he needs it."

"Why?" Rhi leaned a little closer, looking intrigued.

"Listen, James is my best mate and he really likes Lily but I think that is the problem. He only saw his friendship with her as a way of getting her to go out with him. If he becomes friends with her for the sake of being friends with her, that's when they will get together."

"Wow, Sirius that's really deep." She smiled, but looked as though she was suppressing laughter.

"What? You don't think I can be deep and meaningful." He exclaimed in a mock offended voice.

"Well, I think you can be, but the moments are far a few between." She then burst into laughter.

"Gee thanks." He turned away towards the fire.

"Come on, Sirius, I was joking." She moved closer and touched his shoulder. He felt tingly where her hand rested. He turned towards her.

"I know." He said it huskily, then leaned forward and kissed her. He didn't think, he just did. She fell into it and held her around the waist, theirs bodies almost touching. He was flying. Her lips were so soft and tasted like mint, cool yet hot at the same time. The kiss deepened and she cradled the back of his head. They broke apart. Her eyes were a bright green and shining. He smiled nervously at her, they were still so close. But then she jumped up.

"Rhiannon?"

"I … uh … gotta … um … go." She looked jumpy and sad and close to tears.

"Rhi, wait!" But she had already disappeared like a ghost, up the girls staircase. Sirius flopped onto the couch dejectedly, his head in his hands.

A/N: Wow, this is the biggest chapter yet and some stuff definitely happened. Still more to come though.

Ok so I got no new reviews last chapter. Ouch! But don't think that no reviewing my story is going to stop me. I am hell bent on finishing this story and hopefully people want me to finish it. Suggestion and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is encouraged! Just PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review!!! I like to know that people are reading it at least!!

Ok well it's late and I must go so Happy Belated Christmas and Happy Early New Years!!

Go on, Review!!