Swallow the knife

I am beyond crying. Emotions now are dead to me, nothing more than pangs of weakness. So my open wounds will bleed, until these veins run dry. I can't look at anyone anymore, without seeing the gaunt faces, the shadows of which people use to be. It makes me sick, makes the bile rise to my throat.

I must take this away from myself, this pain and torture. I have to take this thorn out of my side

But I simply cannot.

So I swallow the knife, and carve away my pride.

I am an unheard voice within a crowded room. I scream at the top of my lungs, my throat growing hoarse. I use to think that someday someone would hear me, but now I know that our integrity is the grayest of the gray.

(&(

"Hey Hermione?" Neville broke her from her reverie on the way to potions.

" Hm?"

"I –um- I have a q-question for you?" He asks tentatively

She cocked her head to the side.

"Why have you been so- you know- distant lately?" He looked down at his shoes.

She thought for a moment. "We'll incase you haven't noticed Neville, I'm not exactly part of that crowd anymore."

"Yea I know that, but I'm still your friend…" he said weakly.

"I know that Neville, and thanks for it right now…" She said quickly before walking quickly away, not wanting to be bothered again.

The last incident with Harry had left her physically and emotionally drained.

Potions class went by smoothly, as she was very good at it. But Hermione couldn't help try to shake off the feeling that someone was watching her. She tried to find the eyes that seemed to dig into her soul, but she couldn't and merely just dismissed it as another hallucination of hers.

((&

The corridors were obviously empty, but their responsibility made them walk along the stone floor.

Complete silence, utterly deafening.

Draco looked over at the girl next to him. Her hair was hanging in her face, mahogany frizz whisking along with her movements. She use to take care of her hair, if only for a short time. His eyes traveled down towards her wrist; so fragile and small.

" Malfoy, why did you punch Harry the other day?" she asked softly, not even looking at him as she walked.

"That's a dumb question, Granger. I hate the kid, which should be your reason…" He said snidely.

"Neville told me that you did it just as I left the great hall… After-"

"After Harry said those snide remarks to you? I didn't do it for you Granger, don't flatter yourself."

"Then why did you?" she whispered

" I-I don't know. I'm very compulsive you know..." he added.

She merely just nodded and kept walking. They turned down a hallway, down past a statue with an angel fighting a centaur.

Draco looked over to see her rubbing at her left arm as she walked. Her black robe contrasting with her pale skins, making her seem almost porcelain.

"Why are you staring?" She asked, tiredness showing in her voice.

"I don't know…" he answered, transfixed.

" Your wondering why I do this to myself right?"

He nodded.

She merely just sighed, a sigh that sounded like ' as if its not obvious already.' He looked away briefly, and down at his shoes.

No one had ever made him ever so small in his life.

Your gray eyes pierce my skin, seeing the wearied bone beneath my plastic exterior. You try to understand, but you come up short. You will never see the colors I see, its color richness won't appear within you your view. You will forever be utterly blind to the outcries of pain and misery all around you.

You try, I can see. For some odd reason, you're trying to see why this heart just doesn't beat with the same intensity as it use to. You try. But, it's not enough.

I'm not sure as to why you are trying to understand. I've always thought that your cold exterior was the same as your equally chilling interior.

But I guess a flame has sparked within that beating muscle within your chest.

I wish I had the same spark within too.

" Ms. Granger, I would like to speak with you for a moment." Professor McGonagall called out after class.

Hermione quickly turned on her heel, quietly pulling her robe sleeve down a little farther, in order to conceal the scars beneath.

" I was just wondering, though it may not be of any business of mine, if you were alright. You seem very much in a rut—"

" I assure you, I'm fine professor. I'm just tired is all? Prefect duties and studying has been sort of a burden lately…." She soon realized something " –not that I cant handle it, for surely I can, its just I've been a little worn. But I assure you, a good nights rest will surely do me works."

Her favorite professor's eyes traveled down to Hermione's arm as she was rubbing it nervously.

"I'm sure…If you need anything Ms. Granger, you know I would be more than happily to oblige.:"

Hermione nodded quickly before she turned on her heel and strode out of the class room.

"You know you are such a liar…" Draco said snidely as she came through the entry way.

"Were you listening in on my private conversations with the professor?"

"How can I not, I'm suppose to have that class next and I enter and see you talking with McGonagall, and as you know, there is a terrible echo in this room…" he smirked

"You're an obnoxious tosser..." She shot back before she turned on her heels and walked through the crowed. Draco watched her leave, her brown hair lost within the swarm of bodies around her. He chuckled before he turned into his classroom.

(&(

I swore I saw something in you today. Your eyes were no longer dead, no longer dank. I saw that spark for a brief moment. You may think that you have changed, and its true that you have. But, for that brief moment, I saw your old soul within those luke warm eyes.

I'm not sure why I bother with you. You are below me, I'm sure of it. But yet, with your intelligence, I cannot deny that you are something utterly remarkable. I still don't like you. Your haughty aura makes me ill. But yet, you are the only one to make me feel like the size of an insect. And it mesmerizes to the point of rendering me utterly frazzled.

What is this?

()&(&&

On the next "Hero"

"You insufferable little shit! Did it ever occur to you Malfoy that being an obnoxious little twit only makes you look like your compensating for something…" she spat at him contemptuously.

:" Why are you always such a bitch Hermione? Were you like this with Potter also? No wonder he broke your heart…" He shot back venomously

Yea, so, to all of you, this will probably be my last chapter for a while. At least 2-3 months. I am moving to a different state, and seeing as I am not a computer wiz., my internet will not be up for a while…

I've used a couple lines from a Story of the year song, called Swallow the Knife, also. I also used a couple of lines from a song from Fiona apple called " Never is a promise."

Review!!